Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, or Naruto, but I do own Shio. And I am possessive, so there better not be any attempts at taking him. Even though I still don't understand why someone would steal a character. That's more pathetic than stealing a story.
"Soooooooiiiiiillllleeed head to tooooooooeeeeee!!! I'm a loser baby! So why don't you kill meeeeeeee!!!"
"I'm going to kill you if you don't shut up!" To be fair, Hiei did throw his math book with a little more force than necessary. But he couldn't deny the surge of satisfaction as Shio toppled off the table with a sharp yelp.
"What was that for?" Shio moaned as he cautiously peeked over the edge of the table to see if Hiei had any more ammo. A few pencils and a notebook. Unless Hiei planned on poking his eyes out, he would be safe.
"You're a music hater, aren't you?" Hiei tried to ignore Shio as he hopped back onto the table. The genie was only doing it to annoy him, so ignoring him was the best choice, right? He had already let Shio get to him once, but in his defense, that was some really off key singing.
"Why are you trying to stifle my creative spirit? Back in my day, you would have been tossed in the river for daring to speak out against the great art of music!"
"I'm sure if the music lovers back in your day had heard that song, they would be ripping out your vocal chords!" Hiei retorted.
"What?! You don't like this song?! What is wrong with you?"
"I don't even know what song it is!"
"Are you kidding? You've never heard it? Loser is only the greatest song in the history of this damn planet!"
"Loser?" Hiei really had no idea what he was talking about. "What a song for someone like you to sing."
"It's by Beck, not that I'd expect a pipsqueak like you to know of a great singer like him."
"Another song from back in your day?" For some reason, Shio found this extremely amusing. So amusing that it was a few minutes before he could actually answer.
"This song was published in 1993! You're a few years off the mark, Mr. Genius."
"Then when was 'your day?"
"413 BC?! No fucking way!" Shio almost leaned away from Hiei, but he was already at the edge of the table.
"Is there something wrong with that?"
"That would make you over two thousand years old!" Shio held up his hands and began ticking off fingers.
"Wow, you're right! How time flies…" Shio had a dreamy smile on his face and he was staring over Hiei's head.
"Are you sure? Are you just making this up?" Shio sighed and folded his arms over his chest.
"You've got a genie, you had food pop out of nowhere, and the one thing that surprises you is my age? You've got your priorities screwed up in there."
"Pardon me for being realistic!"
"I'm a genie. I don't do realistic."
"So…" Shio finally broke the hour long stretch of silence. "What do you do for fun?"
"I am being serious. I work, I sleep, and I go to school."
"You don't do anything else?" Hiei shook his head and put another mark on the paper. Shio was silent for a moment before his face brightened and he hopped off the table.
"Let's go out!"
"What?" Shio rolled his eyes and repeated it as if he were speaking to a particularly dim witted child.
"Let's go out. Outside. Out of this building."
"Go stand on the street." Hiei glanced at Shio's attire, which had not changed, and changed his mind. "On second thought, don't. You'll get mistaken for a prostitute. Again."
"C'mon! Can't we just go for a walk? Do they still have arcades?"
"I don't have money for an arcade."
"Hello? You've got me!"
"You're right. I could whore you out to people and rake in the cash. Excellent idea!"
"That's not funny. Can't you just wish for money? We could go out and buy things! And you could have fun for a change!" Hiei sighed and dropped his pencil. There would be no peace.
"You've got to be kidding me." Hiei sighed and stalked into the brightly-lit arcade. He hated arcades. People always gathered there. The only person he liked was Yuusuke and he seriously doubted that he was going to find him here. Shio had already skipped on ahead and was currently attempting to play Tekken 3. The only problem was that someone was already playing it, so they were very confused when their character started doing things on their own.
"I hate this place." He muttered. How Shio could push buttons, yet not be felt by the person he was touching was beyond him. Regardless of the fact that no one could see him, Shio still stood out and Hiei fully expected someone to notice him any second now.
A flash of red in his peripheral vision caught his attention and he gasped. Only ten feet away from him seated in a large booth, was a painfully beautiful boy with long red hair and deep green eyes. He was smiling as he listened to what a girl next to him was saying. He had such a beautiful smile.
"Kurama…" Hiei breathed.
"That's him?" The voice in his ear only startled him a little bit; he had long since gotten used to Shio's fondness for sneaking up on him.
"That's him." He tried not to move his lips in case someone was watching him. What if Kurama happened to look over and see him talking to himself? He would think he was crazy.
Jealously curled in his gut as the pretty girl next to Kurama leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Whatever she said made him smile and she giggled. What a whore.
Shio frowned when the girl whispered something to the redhead. He smiled, which was a bad sign. Hiei's back was ramrod straight and his fists were clenched and shaking. He poked him in the back.
"Go find a place to sit. You don't want to him to catch you staring, do you?" Hiei instantly turned away and tried to pretend like he was ignoring Kurama. Shio waited patiently until Hiei had taken a seat on the opposite side of the room before he made his way over to Kurama. The group didn't notice him, even though he was standing right in front of their table. Of course they wouldn't notice. The girl who had been flirting with Kurama was still cuddled up to him and was twirling a lock of his hair around her fingertips.
So this was the person who's picture was on just about every page of Hiei's journal. The person Hiei had probably been dreaming about, if you consider exactly how much 'Krama' sounds like 'Kurama'. Now that he was up close, Shio could definitely understand why Hiei wanted him so much. Kurama was beautiful, no doubts there. However, there seemed to be someone already taking up his attention. Shio's dark eyes narrowed. She would eventually have to go. Probably for good. However, for now he would settle for a few minutes.
"So, Kurama, I was thinking…Do you have any plans for this Saturday?"
Yes, she would definitely have to go.
Before Kurama could answer, Shio leaned over and pushed over a large cup of brown liquid. It was close enough to the edge that its entire contents were emptied all over her white blouse and her skirt. The entire table erupted into chaos as everyone else tried to get out of the way of the liquid, and of the girl. She had jumped up with a squeal that grated on his ears and almost climbed over her friend in order to race to the bathroom before the stain became permanent. Just for fun, he knocked over the other three drinks and walked away from the table. He hadn't exactly done anything productive besides diverting a possible date between Hiei's crush and whatever her name was. And he had created chaos. It made him feel warm and fuzzy.
"What was that for?" Hiei hissed when Shio sat down across from him.
"I felt like it." Hiei continued to glare at him until Shio sighed and continued. "She was trying to ask out your lover boy, so I intervened. A 'thank you' would be nice."
"…Thank you." Shio blinked. He hadn't really expected Hiei to thank him. He must have really done something good.
"So, do you want to play any games?" Hiei shook his head.
"Kurama might see me."
"So?" Hiei looked around and tried to sink lower into his seat.
"What if, for some really strange reason, he tries to talk to me? I know it will probably never happen, but what if he did? I wouldn't be able to say anything and I would just stand there like a moron!" Shio stopped inspecting his fingernails and looked at Hiei with a raised eyebrow.
"I take it this has happened before?" Hiei nodded miserably. It had happened. For nearly twenty glorious seconds, Kurama's attention had been solely on him, acknowledging him.
"Shit!" Hiei cursed profusely as several of the papers in his arms slipped out onto the floor. He tried to reach down to get them, but the other books and papers in his arms were starting to slide. He was probably going to lose everything.
"Here." The papers were suddenly inches from his face, held there by a slender, elegant hand. Hiei snatched the papers and straightened, lifting his gaze so that he could thank them. His words stopped in his throat when he made contact with a pair of green eyes. Kurama Minamino was looking at him and smiling. Hiei's entire body froze and his mind barely registered the fact that Kurama's lips were moving. He was saying something.
"I've seen you before," Kurama was still smiling. "I can't say I remember your name…" He trailed off, obviously waiting for Hiei to say something.
"Uh…" Hiei's brain had locked up, he couldn't think of anything to say.
"I'm Kurama. What's your name?" Hiei's body finally responded and he began backing away.
"Ah…Hiei!" He managed to squeak before he turned and ran back around the corner. How he managed to do that without dropping everything, he would never know. The only important thing was to get as far away from Kurama as possible.
"He probably thinks I'm some kind of whimpering loser," Hiei mumbled into his arms. During his short tale, he had buried his face into his arms and Shio had a hard time understanding him.
"That doesn't sound too bad! At least you didn't say something stupid!" Shio said brightly, trying and failing to cheer him up. At least Hiei wasn't watching Kurama any more. The girl had returned, and like a true gentleman, Kurama offered his coat to cover her stained clothing. What a damn gentleman.
"Well, I guess we're done in the arcade!" Hiei grunted a response and Shio patted him on the shoulder, although he was still keeping an eye on Kurama out of the corner of his eye. The redhead was leaving with the girl, so she was probably his girlfriend. She would be easy enough to get rid of. But, in order to get rid of her, he would have to get to know her. And in order to do that…
"Can I go to school with you?"
"No." Shio frowned. Hiei hadn't even taken the time to think about it!
"You didn't even consider it! Think of the benefits of taking me to school with you!"
"I tried. There aren't any."
"There are too benefits!" Shio argued. "You're just a lousy shrimp who's too lazy to think of any!"
"Just for that, I won't even consider thinking about it." Hiei said smugly as Shio's face fell.
"What do you mean?!" Shio asked angrily as he watched Hiei pull on his jacket.
"You know what I mean!" Hiei snapped as he picked up his book bag. "Stay in the lamp! I'll be back in six hours, I'll let you out then!"
"…Fine." Shio crossed his arms and disappeared. Hiei had not expected him to give in so quickly, but it was just as well, he was already late.
"Stay in the lamp!" He called out before he slammed the door. He had to admit, he was slightly worried about leaving Shio at home while he was at school, but the only other option was to take him along, and he wasn't about to do that. It would mean that Shio got what he wanted, and after the enormous amount of whining Hiei had been subjected to, there was no way he was going to let that happen.
"I'm bored. Bored. Booooorrrreeeed!!!" Shio sang as he fixed another crack in the ceiling. It had been two hours since Hiei had left for school, and he was already considering doing something drastic to alleviate his boredom.
Regardless of the fact that Hiei was dirt poor, he still expected the boy to at least have a coloring book.
"I guess I'll have to find my own fun." As if on cue, someone knocked sharply on the front door.
"Hiei? You in there?" Shio almost went back into his lamp when the door was pushed open, simply to avoid even the slightest possibility of having to deal with this person. But when the pudgy bald man stepped in and shut the door, Shio was instantly suspicious. What could he say? The guy looked like he was up to something. And Hiei did leave him to take care of the house.
The man was slipping a key back into his pocket as he made straight for the fridge.
"Who are you?" Shio asked. The man couldn't hear him, of course, and he was busy rummaging through the fridge. A few seconds later, he pulled out a plate of food and set it on the table. The chair gave an ominous creak when he sat down.
"No wonder he's so skinny!" Shio's dark eyes narrowed as he watched the man shove food into his mouth. So this bastard came in and stole food while Hiei was at school? The kid could barely feed himself and this guy was just helping himself?
"I don't like you," Shio said before he snapped his fingers. There is no sound more glorious than a scream of surprise mixed with pain. Especially if it stemmed from a plate of food spontaneously combusting in front of you. The man's eyebrows would grow back eventually.
"Now. Out!" Shio commanded. As expected, the man was too busy splashing cold water on his burned face to listen to him. Shio put out the fire with a wave of his hand. He couldn't have the carpet catching fire, now could he?
He casually picked up the chair and poked the man in the back with it. He turned and his red face went pale.
"Holy shit!" The poor man made a mad dash for the door, which was all well and good because Shio wanted him to leave. Although, he didn't seem to be traumatized enough yet.
Hiei's landlord ducked around the door just in time to avoid the chair that was flung at him. It splintered as it hit the door and he gave a high pitched squeal of fear. He practically flew down the stairs in his haste to get out of the building. Just his luck. First he had a temperamental high school kid living upstairs, and now the building was haunted. Just great.
"I'm home." Hiei called as he shut the door behind him.
"Hello!" Shio was smiling brightly from his position on the table. Did the genie not know about chairs? Speaking of chairs…
"What happened to the chair…And where did the other three come from?" Hiei demanded. Shio tried to look innocent, but the expression was out of place on him.
"Your chair broke, so I fixed it! And I made three more to match!"
"It broke?" Hiei sighed and slumped into one of the new chairs. At least he had a genie. Otherwise he would have had to go without a chair until he got enough money for a new one.
"How did it break?" He asked as he emptied his book bag onto the table.
"I had nothing to do with it!" Shio insisted. Hiei eyed him suspiciously.
"I just asked how it broke. I wasn't blaming you."
"Oh? Well, you see, I was just standing here, minding my own business! I was doing absolutely nothing that possibly could have lead to the chair's demise! And I turned around, and the chair was broken, and I had nothing to do with it!"
"…Are you okay?" Hiei didn't know if genies could get sick, but Shio certainly looked like he was about to be ill. He pushed aside a paper and blinked. There was something on the table that had not been there when he left. Something very incriminating…
"Why is there a scorch mark on the table?" Shio paused and his face went pale.
"What scorch mark?" When accused, play dumb.
"This scorch mark!"
"What's a scorch mark?" When still accused, play extremely dumb.
"Where you burning things?!" Shio put on his best innocent face.
"Me? You really think I would go so far as to burn my master's possessions? Have I displeased you so much that you think I would wish to harm your belongings?" Fake tears that look real are harder to produce than most people think. Although, it wasn't like they were going to slide down his face. No, he just made sure that his eyes were sufficiently moist and that his lower lip trembled just enough for Hiei to notice, but not enough to look fake.
"Um…" Hiei was at a loss for words. He didn't think Shio was so sensitive…
"Master…Y-You think I'm a disgrace, don't you?" Shio sniffed pathetically.
"Um…no…not really…" Hiei reached out and patted Shio on the shoulder, feeling extremely awkward.
"N-No! It's all right! Say what you will! I can handle it!" Although he was a little worried about Shio's mental condition, Hiei was starting to feel rather skeptical. If his genie was over two thousand years old, then hadn't he heard worse? He didn't break down when Hiei called him a prostitute…
"What were you burning?" He demanded. Shio looked at him with tearful eyes.
"You were burning something." Hiei said flatly. Shio's face suddenly lost its sad expression and an annoyed one replaced it. The change was so quick that Hiei had to wonder if there was more than one person in there.
"It was just a plate," Shio muttered darkly.
"Just a plate?! You could have burnt down my apartment!" Shio huffed indignantly.
"For your information…master… I set the food on the plate on fire to get rid of your landlord."
"My-…You set my landlord on fire?!"
"Just the plate. I just wanted to scare him. He was eating your food!"
"I…you…never mind." Hiei slumped back into the chair and Shio tilted his head to the side.
"Are you angry?" Hiei shook his head.
"…No more fire?" Shio asked.
"No more fire." Hiei said.
"When will you be back?" Shio asked the next morning as he watched Hiei get ready for school again.
"Around three. Don't kill my landlord, don't burn down the apartment." Hiei was writing an extremely long list of rules for Shio to follow while he was gone. The genie was reading over his shoulder and his annoyed expression was growing more pronounced.
"Don't get into trouble while I'm gone." Hiei looked around the room once before he picked up his book bag. "Did you hide the lamp?"
Shio grinned. "No one will find it here!"
"Good." Hiei shouldered that bag and wondered why it seemed heavier than usual. "See you later."
"Bye! Have fun at school!" Hiei shut the door behind him and Shio waited before his footsteps to fade away before he allowed a mischievous chuckle to escape. He had hidden the lamp very well. Of course, it had been difficult to slip it into Hiei's book bag without him noticing, but it had worked out.
He hadn't been to school in a long time. It would be interesting to see how it had changed.
That's all for now. I'll write more later. Classes start next week, so I might not be writing as often. It will be good to have something to do, though. I have absolutely nothing to do right now, so I was so incredibly bored. Hopefully I will get back into a writing mood. Chapter 13 of Homicidal Urges should be up soon. I'm just not in the mood to finish the chapter as of yet.