DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me…they are all the creations of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Jasper and Bella have a bet going on Edward's reaction to the movie "John Tucker Must Die". The movie is basically about a boy who dates three girls at once. The girls decided to get back at him by making him fall in love with a new girl at the school and then breaking his heart.
Edward vs John Tucker -- A one shot request from the story "My First Year as a Cullen"
"Tonight's movie," Alice said proudly. "Is brought to you by me! We will be watching 'John Tucker Must Die' and I think you all will like it. Just keep in mind that you should be glad Forks High wasn't this insane!" She was curled up in Jazz's lap on one end of the sofa.
I was in Edward's lap on the other end of the sofa. Esme and Carlisle had the loveseat and Emmett and Rosalie were stretched out on the floor.
I looked over and winked at Jasper. He smiled a wicked grin at me as he leaned towards me. "I love you, little sis. But you are going down!"
"You wish!" I whispered back.
We both sat up straight again, trying not to call attention to ourselves. We didn't want anyone to know about our little bet. The movie started and it wasn't long before we had our first comment of the night. I was a little shocked by who it came from.
"Oh. My. God!" Rosalie squealed. "'For you, I don't have to give up all meat!' Alice, I love you! Bella, why can't you pick movies like this?"
I poked my tongue at my sister. "You know you secretly like my movie picks," I teased.
"In your dreams," Rosalie chuckled.
"Three girls? Disgusting!" Edward muttered as we watched the girls having dinner with John Tucker. "He's hitting on every girl in his vicinity!" Edward continued as John made his way through the high school.
I looked over to see Jasper holding up a single finger. Not even ten minutes into the movie and Edward had already given up one of my twelve comments. I turned in his lap and rubbed his cheek. "Give him a chance. Maybe he's not that bad."
"Bella, are you watching this movie at all?" Edward replied, annoyance clear in his tone. I shrugged and settled further into his chest. He kissed my head and ran a hand through my hair. I sighed, feeling very content.
The movie continued while most of us giggled or snickered quietly. It got to a part of the movie where volleyballs were being thrown all over the gym. "Look at the Goth girls!" I giggled, pointing at the screen. "They have the right idea! Stay far away from gym! Volleyballs are dangerous!"
"Jeez! Bella would be bleeding all over of the place!" Emmett laughed.
"Ha, Ha!" I said, putting my hands on my hips.
Edward pulled me back against him and whispered into my ear. "I would never let even one of those balls touch your beautiful face."
"You …" Emmett began and Rose smacked him so hard that I gasped. I heard Edward let out a low hiss at the same time. Whatever Emmett had been about to say must have been just awful!
"She shouldn't have gotten detention," Alice argued. "They hit her!"
"Teachers don't bother to figure out what really happened," Jasper said.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before Emmett broke it. "I love that guy!" Emmett roared. "Special on the inside! Inciting an all girl smack-down. We need to try that when we go to Vegas, boys!"
"Emmett!" Rosalie warned.
"What?" Emmett cried, acting innocent. "Rose, am I special on the inside?"
"Just in your head!" Rose teased, playfully yanking Emmett's curls.
"The Kate girl seems to be the only one with some sense," Edward grumbled.
"I don't know," I said. "I like the other Tucker. He seems sweet."
"He needs someone to teach him how to shop and dress!" Alice chuckled. "Then he might be a real hottie!"
"You could probably turn anyone into a hottie, Alice," I snickered.
"Worked on you, didn't it?" Alice teased.
We got to the part where John was getting his picture taken in the woods. "No!" I squealed, burying my face in Edward's chest. "Those faces he's making!"
"Human boys are idiots!" Alice chuckled.
"Why the hell didn't I think of doing something like that?" Emmett said as we watched the pictures of John Tucker being shown on the movie screen. "Jasper! Do you realize the torture we could have inflicted with a picture of Eddie and a caption saying 'Prude Forever'? We so could have managed that!"
"Emmett!" Edward snarled. "Stop!"
We quieted down again for a while until Rosalie spoke up. "The human girls are wonderfully evil!" Rosalie laughed. "We need to be writing this stuff down, Alice. They're going to give him estrogen!"
"Would that stuff work on a vampire?" I asked, looking at Carlisle.
"No, Bella. Vampires cannot digest anything. You must digest it for it to affect your body," Carlisle explained.
Our silence resumed, but it didn't last for long. The entire living room erupted in laughter during the salt water scene. This movie was really turning out to be quite funny. "How could he not know it was salt water?" Edward chuckled.
"Not everyone is as smart as you," I teased. "Some people have only been through high school once."
Edward leaned over and nipped by earlobe. "Silly Bella." I giggled against him. He hugged me tighter and I smiled happily. Maybe I would win this better after all. His mood was more playful and not so agitated.
Not longer after that, my sisters and I jumped up together. We stamped our feet and started screaming, 'John, John, John!' to each other. The boys looked at us as if we had lost our minds. Esme and Carlisle smiled politely, but I don't think they found us as funny as we found ourselves.
During the scene where John breaks up with all three girlfriends, the bet started to get serious. "He's worse than that vile Mike Newton!" Edward roared, pointing at the TV.
I snuck another look at Jasper to see him sneakily rubbing two fingers against his cheek. I shot him a quick glare before turning back to the movie. "Edward," I said softly. "Maybe he's just insecure."
"He's a typical hormone-enraged disgusting human," Edward snarled. I grimaced, knowing I had just earned my third strike by trying to soothe him.
"Ouch!" Emmett chuckled as we watched John Tucker fall hard. "Bella, did you teach him that move?"
"Hey, Em! How do you like the mascot?" I teased.
"Go Bears!" Emmett chuckled.
"Disgusting human teenage male!" Edward grumbled during the scene where John watched Kate and Heather walk away in their cheerleader outfits.
I barely held back my groan. That was three comments and one vile remark. And we were only thirty minutes into the movie! I was in danger of loosing this bet!
As the flowers were delivered, my sisters, my mother and I all sighed at the same time. "Ahh!"
When Kate said her comment about not having a pen, Edward laughed happily. "Maybe this girl will avoid that idiot after all!"
"They are so cute!" I squealed as the other Tucker put the bag around Kate's neck. "She should date him! He's much nicer and he's got more in common with her."
During the scene where the girls are trying to put a microphone on Kate, Emmett broke the silence. "Edward, are you sure you can watch this movie?" Emmett teased. "There's a half naked girl on the screen."
"She's in a robe, Emmett," Edward replied. "Just watch the movie!" I felt Edward playfully kick Emmett.
"Watch it!" Emmett growled. "Rosalie's lying in front of me."
"Be nice boys!" I said, putting a hand on Edward's cheek. "He can watch, Em. He's got my permission," I teased. Edward smirked at me and I kissed him softly. I leaned up and whispered softly so only Edward could hear me. "I'm sure you're not even paying that much attention anyway, right?"
"My eyes are only for you," he whispered back.
"Did he contact you for some of those lines, Edward?" Jasper teased during the part where the John Tucker character talked about people staring with jealousy.
"Shut up!" Edward smirked as he pushed on Jazz's shoulder.
"You're lines are much better," I whispered to Edward, pulling his arms around me tighter.
"Oh My God!" the boys yelled as the two girls practiced kissing in the jeep.
"Edward!" I yelled, slapping his arm.
"Jazz!" Alice cried, pouting out her bottom lip.
"Emmett!" Rosalie hissed.
"We didn't pick the movie!" Edward chuckled. "We're only men!"
"I expect better of you," I told Edward. He shrugged and grinned at me. "You really are just a teenage boy at heart, aren't you?" Edward kissed my head, but didn't answer me.
As John told Kate he wanted to leave without kissing her, Edward sneered, "Lying hormone crazed human teenage idiot boy!"
'Crap!' I thought to myself. That's four and one against me!
The boat scene with the dancing was beautiful. I grabbed Edward's hand excitedly. I leaned up and whispered into his ear for only him to hear. "Edward! Can we do that one day? Take a boat out at night to see the stars and dance under them?"
Edward smiled brightly before pulling me into a passionate kiss. He leaned against my ear and whispered, "As you wish, Wife!"
During the locker room scene, I lost my second vile Newton marker. Edward hissed, "He's a thousand times more vile than Newton ever was!" Edward pulled me tightly against his chest. "I am forever grateful that you never took an interest in Newton."
"Close your eyes, Eddie!" Emmett teased as Kate showed off her red underwear set.
"Shut up!" Edward hissed.
"You boys don't think she's prettier than us?" Rosalie asked, sitting up and eyeing all of the boys.
"No!" Jasper said quickly, kissing Alice's forehead. "No one beats Alice for me."
"What girl?" Emmett replied, giving his best grin to Rose.
"As if any creature on this Earth could compare to you, my beautiful Bella," Edward cooed.
"Jeez!" Emmett said, rolling his eyes. "Always has to one up everyone."
"He had plenty of time to think of his answer," Jasper teased.
"Never wear a thong!" I giggled to Edward as we watched the basketball team try out their new choice in underwear. He smiled my favorite crooked grin and kissed my forehead.
"I don't know," Emmett said. "It looks pretty interesting."
"Emmett!" we all groaned.
"Only kidding!" Emmett chuckled, pulling Rosalie closer to him. He kissed her neck and whispered into her ear. She chuckled darkly, letting us all know we didn't want to know what he had said.
We all yelled together as the humans threw cake at each other. "Disgusting!"
The movie ended and we all stood up and stretched. I had just barely won the bet. I grinned at Jasper and he pretended not to notice. I turned to Edward and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you," I whispered. Edward leaned down and started kissing my neck.
"Edward," Jasper called.
"Mmm?" Edward replied as he continued to kiss my neck.
"I just wanted to let you know something. Bella hates 'Romeo and Juliet.' Just thought you should know." And with that, my sneaky big brother flew out of the room with Alice in his arms.
The bet had been to tell Edward I didn't like the movie. I had never specifically clarified that he had to explain the reasons behind it too.
As Jasper's words sank into Edward's head, he stiffened against me. He pulled my arms away and stared at me. "Bella."
That one word told me everything. There would be nothing else happening in my life until I explained myself to him. I sighed and nodded toward the couch. Stupid Vampire Big Brother! Stupid Loophole Finding Cheater! Edward sat down and pulled me into his lap.
"First of all," I said. "I would appreciate it if you could at least pretend to keep your temper in check."
"I will try," he said warily. "And second?"
"Be very specific when betting with Jasper."
"Is that why he announced and ran?"
"So the only way you can inform me of things is to bet to have someone else do it?"
"No! It's just … it's easier sometimes. And you weren't very nice to anyone when I told you about my feelings on the spy movie." He went to argue, but I put my hand against his mouth. He kissed my palm. "Jasper explained your behavior and I understand your reaction now. He wanted me to talk to you about this movie before we ended up watching it."
"Why do you no longer like the movie?"
"I don't think it's a love story anymore. It's more like a horror story. And … it's really too close to what almost happened to us and I don't like it. It makes me remember things I don't want to and it makes me feel sad."
"Bella," Edward sighed as he pulled me against him, tucking my head under his chin. "No matter how strong of a vampire you become, you're heart will always be so fragile. I am sorry that my idiocy has hurt you in so many ways." He sighed deeply. "I've even ruined your favorite movie for you."
"My favorite movie is the video of our wedding," I teased, as I kissed the part of his chest as I had revealed by unbuttoning his shirt. "The leading man was simply spectacular!"
Edward chuckled, "I think the leading lady was the amazing one. Her beauty put all others to shame."
"Let's go up to our room. You can practice some more lines on me and show me how unlike John Tucker you are," I teased.
"As you wish, Wife," Edward said as he picked me up bridal style and carried me up the stairs.
I smiled up at my beautiful husband, grateful for another wonderful movie night in my home. I would still get back at my brother later for being such a cheater, but for now, it was time to focus on my husband.