"I thought you were going to me some kid to talk about why you got into a fight." Minonmon said, confusion etched on his face.
"I was." Ken explained as he started on his homework.
"But then you met Izzy instead?" Minonmon was sitting on the bed, or rather bouncing on it.
"Izzy was the kid I was supposed to be talking to." Ken explained, hoping he made sense this time.
Minonmon was silent for a second. "So you were going to talk to Izzy about why you got in a fight. So why wouldn't you let me go?" He pretended to pout, and Ken sighed.
"I didn't know it was going to be Izzy. If I had known I would have taken you."
"So did you talk to him?"
"Yeah. He couldn't believe I took you to school." Ken turned to look at his friend.
Minonmon jumped into Ken's lap. "No, I mean about other stuff."
"I know what you meant." Ken said quietly. "Yeah, I talked to him. About the nightmares. The dark pool."
"And?" Minonmon pressed.
Ken hesitated. He wasn't sure Izzy was right. How could anyone forgive him for the things he had done? But Minonmon had, and he knew about all of it. "He said I needed to forgive myself. He said I was allowed to be happy."
Minonmon nodded. "He's right, you know."
Ken sighed. "Maybe." He stood and paced his room. "He says that, but he has less of an idea of the things I've done than the others do. If he knew-"
"You say that if the others knew everything, they wouldn't been so forgiving, Ken. But I was there. I know about that stuff. And I forgave you." Minonmon reminded him gently.
"I know you did." Ken said softly. He went back to his homework, Minonmon in his lap, his mind on the conversation he had had with Izzy.
Could he forgive himself? Did he deserve to be forgiven? Did he deserve to be happy ever again? After all he had done, didn't he deserve everything he was going through? Didn't he deserve the nightmares, the memories, the guilt? Didn't he deserve the shame, the depression?
He had Minonmon back. That was more than he deserved, really.
Maybe he had changed. Maybe Izzy was right about that. But did that erase all the things he had done before? Did that just blank them out, make them non-existent? He had changed, but it didn't change what he had done.
"I think he's right, Ken." Minonmon said quietly. "You are allowed to be happy. I want you to be happy."
Ken sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."
Minonmon shook his head. He wished Ken would believe Izzy. He wished Ken would believe him when he tried to convince him of the very same things.
But talking to Izzy seemed to have been good for Ken, at least a little bit.
The nightmares weren't quite as bad that night.
Disclaimer: Digimon isn't mine.