Cheers to Indecency

Be very very quiet, I am hunting Ichigo's!

Somewhere on earth a life had been saved. The poor man whose life was danger had been hit by car, had been thrown across the street and received serious injuries during his short flight. Fortunately help had been quick to arrive and a clinic had been not too far away. In short, it was a case of good luck that saved this poor man, who has absolutely nothing to do with this story. The doctor who had saved said man however was an important part of this story. One could even claim that without him this tale wouldn't even have started when it did. Without him, well let's just say that many things would have gone spectacularly wrong.

Thankfully the good doctor, consummate father and ex-shinigami did exist.

Yup, it's Ishin.

Also known as Mr. "I kick my son for breakfeast and it didn't stunt his growth even one bit, suck on that bitches!", or simply Mr. K. if you were one those little punks who always hang around the corner store, trying to look cool and failing dramatically. Or simply father if someone asked one of his three children, well at least Yuzu would call him father, as both Karin and that ungrateful Ichigo would most likely refer to the poor man only as "old man".

Not that it irked him or something like that. He was after all an adult, he didn't worry about how his beloved children referred to him. He knew that the cared for him as much as he cared for them. That was what family was all about in his eyes. He smiled at his late wifes poster, remembering his dear departed wife fondly.

Their relationship had been so passionate, so fresh. Love, passion, understanding, all those things that really made Ishin sure of the choice he had made. His wife had been beautiful yes, but it was not only her body, even though she had been smokin' hot if he dare so say himself, her whole being was simply beautiful.

And to be frank, if he had only craved sex with pretty women he could have stayed in Soul Society.

The place his oldest child had departed to save a shinigami of all people.

The irony of someone invading Soul Society to save a shinigami made him chuckle a little bit.

Well, it was mostly sneaking and running for them and as long as Yoruichi was with them he didn't have any serious fears for his son's safety.

What were they chances of them even seeing a captain?

Hell, what where the chances of Ichigo meeting Retsu-chan? Close to nill surely.

A sudden noise alerted him to his cup breaking apart in his very hands, spilling hot tea onto his lap, just as his chair broke down on him, sending him on the ground and giving him a prime viewon one of the windows shattering right before his eyes. Before the dazzled man could even raise an eyebrow at this, the poster of his dear wife seemed to gain a new tear without any discernable reason while he started to hear the noise of screeching wires and something crashing into something else from the streets outside.

Standing up the former Shinigami captain smiled painfully while scratching his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"You know, a simply rumbling of thunder would have been enough if you wanted to tell me that simply hightailing out of Soul Society may have not been one of my better ideas!"


There were times, Matsumoto thought, when her little taicho absolutely adorable. This was mainly when he was all puffed up and trying to glower at anyone because someone just had to comment on his size. Or when he slept after training too much and he was still covered in sweat in melting ice. Or when he managed to sneak a water melon into the headquarters and eat it "secretly", when he thought no one was watching.

"I'm not going Matsumoto and that's final."

He was, however, not cute when was acting like a goddamn mule or Zaraki-taicho, whoever was more annoying by simply not bending to any others will in the slightest..

"Taicho, it's the same every month, this is an ordered inspection of your health, you have to go!"

Right now it was once again time for every captain's monthly health check. They were, after all, the elite of Soul Society, so any sudden change in their health could have severe repercussions for the whole division. It was mandatory, no rain checks, no excuses, no nothing. Every captain had to go, even Yamamoto-taicho and every single time it was the same circus as before.

"I am not going to the 4th Division Matsumoto. I feel great, my reiatsu is growing nicely and Hyourinmaru is doing just fine. Tell that to whoever comes to complain."

"Taicho, it doesn't work like that, if you don't want to go, you will need to give a good reason, seeing as how there are NO excuses for not going to the check!"

It was the same spiel every month and frankly she was getting tired of this. If he would just tell her why he didn't want to go she would at least have an angle to convince him to go. But no she had to think of something all on her own. Thanks a fucking lot taicho.

Well, this was different, normaly he should be getting a puffed up by now, but now it seemed as if he was seriously considering telling her his reasons for his vehemence.

"Matsumoto, what I am about to tell you does not under any circumstances leave this room, do you understand?"

Seeing her nod, the young man composed himself and continued.

"I have nothing against the health check itself, but as you know the check is performed by Unohana-taicho and…" he drifted off, blushing madly and looked away as if uncomfortable.

A sudden look of understanding appeared on his subordinates face and with it came a strange glint in her eyes.

"Can it be? Does my little taicho have a crush on the motherly Unohana-taicho? Nee Taicho? Do you prefer older woman?"

"CRUSH? That damn woman gropes me the whole freaking time I'm there! She practically rapes me with her hands! Every single time I have to go there, she can't stop her hands and acts as if nothings wrong. If it weren't for that Zaraki coming in with a sick Yachiru, I'm not sure how it would have ended last month."

"I see…." Well, what else was there to say after getting a bomb like that dropped on her.

"I guess, that does count as a good reason, why don't you get some fresh air while I think of something taicho?"

Her smile, seemingly like always was slightly strained as a new train of thought made it's way through her brain.

Seeing her cute little taicho nod thankfully to her and leave the room shortly after the blonde bombshell let her calm façade drop at once.

"That BITCH dares to grope my cute little taicho? Ohh just you wait Unohana-taicho, you're so going to learn why one doesn't mess with what's Matsumoto's!"

Yup, the whole situation just became a lot weirder.


"Were far enough away for now, you can stop!"

Hearing the command from their black furred passenger, Ichigo slowed down, as did Orihime at his side.

"Seems like we got away, we were quite lucky that my kido worked so well on her!"

There seemed to be an undercurrent of smugness in the voice as the cat jumped onto the ground and turned around to face it's charges. It eyed Ichigo once more, as more questions filled the womans mind. It was time to get some answers.

"So Ichigo, you didn't tell me you were a purebred Shinigami. That would have made things far easier, you know?"

"Ahh is Kurosaki-kun really a eh "purebred" shinigami? Ahh of course if Yoruichi-san says so, how silly of me!"

"Wha..What the hell are talking about, Yoruichi-san, Orihime, stop that, before that idiot Rukia came I didn't even know Shinigami exist."

"So your parents aren't Shinigami?"

"My mother…died many years ago so I wouldn't know anything about that and my father's a doctor and an idiot, who the hell kicks his sons in the head first thing in the morning anyway? Damn you old man, you bastard."

"He…kicks you in the head first thing the morning?"

A strange quality seemed to seep into the cat's voice as she suddenly started to look at Ichigo more carefully.

"Well, I guess there's only one way to see for sure. But for that, behold my true form!"

------------------Insert transformation from pussy cat to naked babe here--------------------

"YORUICHI-SAN? What the…you're….. a woman?"

"Surprised? My, how cute, you're blushing too, how sweet. Sadly we have more important things to do than gape like fish all day don't we?"

That said the dark-skinned beauty proceeded to stuff her hands down Ichigo's uniform, all the while like a cat that had caught the…snake?

"Wh…." Before the poor boy could say anything more a quick look from the purple haired vixen seemed to make him lose all control over his body and stopped him in his tracks from moving. Meanwhile poor Orihime was blushing madly, hiding her eyes behind her hands, occasionally taking a peek from between her fingers and giggling a little bit and whispering a faint "Kurosaki-kun?"

Smirking Yoruichi finally found her target, a few quick gropes proved what she had already suspected. There was only one thing left to say, as she was still clutching his privates and it didn't look as if she would let go anytime soon.

"Yup, no doubt. You're definitely Ishin's, "Call me eleven-sama ,baby's", kid, aren't you?"