An Unnecessary Gift
A/N: It's…NejiShika. Because I love this pairing, so neh. And it's Christmas time, so Happy Holidays, guys. Sips eggnog Oh! There are also mentions of InoHina, TemaSaku and SasuGaaNaru. Shut up, yes, everyone in Konoha is gay. licks candy cane
Shikamaru stared at the dark gray clouds that were floating across the sky. He was staring out the window; it was much too cold to be outside. The lazy ninja sighed, fogging up the window. Shikamaru had no idea what to get Neji for Christmas. This was too troublesome.
"Shikamaru, what are you doing just sitting around? I know for a fact that you haven't gotten Neji a present yet," Ino shouted as she entered Shikamaru's apartment without even knocking. Bossy kunoichi…
"And you had better get him something, because I know his present is amazing," Ino said, wrapping her arm around Hinata's slim waist. Yeah, those two were quite the odd couple. Almost as bad Sakura and Temari or Sasuke and Naruto and Gaara's relationship. Everyone in Konoha seemed to be gay. Well, except Lee…and how the hell did that happen?
"Up, up, you lazy ass! We're going shopping," Ino shouted. Hinata blushed harder than usual.
"Um, I think I can buy Neji a gift by myself," Shikamaru stated.
"Sure you can, but it probably wouldn't be a very good one," Ino said, throwing his jacket at him.
"Ino, we've looked in every store in Konoha, and there's nothing that suits Neji," Shikamaru grumbled, dropping onto a bar stool.
"We just have to get creative," Ino said. Then her eyebrows furrowed and Shikamaru took that to mean she was thinking.
"Maybe this is too troublesome," Shikamaru said, poking at his food.
"No, no it isn't. Hinata," Ino turned to look at her blushing lover, "Can you think of anything that Neji might like? He is your cousin."
"Well, Neji always did like the handmade cards that Hanabi and I always made," Hinata mumbled.
"Oh! That gives me an idea!" Ino exclaimed, giving Hinata a quick kiss before dragging Shikamaru out of the bar. "I'll be home in little bit, Hinata."
Shikamaru was sitting at his kitchen table writing in the little booklet Ino had bought before dragging him back to his house. Troublesome women, Ino had left as soon as she had explained what he was to do.
So no, he was writing things like 'good for one (1) blowjob' or 'two (2) fucks in the shower'. Yeah, Ino was really, really perverted. Shikamaru almost felt bad for Hinata.
There was a light knock on his door before Neji came entered. Shikamaru shoved the booklet into his pocket.
"Hey, Shika," Neji said, bending over to give him a kiss," Are you ready for the party?"
"Eh? Oh, yeah. Just let me go change and get your gift," Shikamaru said. Neji nodded.
Once he was in his bedroom, he opened the gift bag Ino had picked out and shoved the finished booklet among the colored tissue paper.
"Ready?" Neji asked, wrapping his arms around Shikamaru's chest and kissing his neck.
Neji knocked on the door of the main house of the Uchiha complex. Naruto, thankfully, opened it.
"Hey, Neji, Shikamaru! C'mon in," Naruto said pulling them into the brightly lit, warm room." Sasuke, Gaara, come here and say hi to Neji and Shikamaru!"
"Dobe, you don't have to yell," Sasuke said, nodding at the two shinobi. Gaara blinked…which is better than nothing, and pulled Naruto towards him.
"Okay, you're the last ones here, well, except Kakashi and Iruka. But I'm not waiting for that pervert. But then maybe we should wait for Iruka. But he's probably coming with Kakashi so it could be hours before they show up," Naruto continued his rant until Sasuke leaned closer than he already was and whispered something, probably dirty, into Naruto's ear. Naruto blushed harder than Hinata.
"We'll open gifts now," Gaara said before pulling both Sasuke and Naruto away by the hand. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and Neji sighed, but they followed the other three into the living room where the tree was.
"Neji-san!" Hinata, who Ino had apparently let have some sake, called drunkenly," C'mon, we're openin' presents." She ended the exclamation with a hiccup. Sakura muffled a laugh in Temari's shoulder.
"Ino, did you let my cousin have sake?" Neji asked leaving Shikamaru's side to lead Hinata to an armchair before she fell into the fireplace.
"No, I let her have eggnog. But I didn't know someone had put rum in it," Ino glared at Kiba and Naruto.
"Uh," Naruto mumbled. Kiba snickered behind his hand." Let's open presents!"
Everyone had exchanged their gifts, even Kakashi and Iruka, who had shown up and hour after Hinata passed out.
Neji turned to Shikamaru," You haven't given me a gift yet, Shika-kun."
"You haven't given me one yet, either," Shikamaru argued lazily.
"Hm, true. Fine, here's your gift," Neji said kissing him on the lips.
"Not to be rude or anything, but I get that all the time," Shikamaru said. Ino grinned in the background.
"Not the kiss, baka. Here," He shoved a little black box into Shikamaru's hand.
Shikamaru opened it and it was…an engagement ring?
"Huh?" The lazy genius grunted, staring at the shining silver band.
"I'm asking you to marry me," Neji murmured in his ear. Shikamaru nearly fell off his perch on Neji's lap.
"Ca-can we even do this? Is it legal?"
"I already asked the Godaime, she said she would marry us," Neji mumbled.
"Oh," Shikamaru said. Then he seemed to snap out of his stupor (Ino threw a Christmas cookie at him). "Uh, here's your gift." No, he wasn't blushing, damn it.
Neji rifled threw the tissue paper until his hand grasped a small booklet.
"What's th-" Neji paused when he read the first voucher. Shikamaru knew it said 'fisting'. Neji smirked.
"Well, I guess it's about time we leave, what do you say Shika-chan?" Neji asked, pushing Shikamaru off of him so he could stand up. He put the booklet carefully in his pocket.
Before they left, Ino whispered in Shikamaru's ear," Go get laid."
Later, much later, that night, well, technically, it was morning, when their panting had subsided and Shikamaru was snuggling into Neji's warm embrace, Neji said," Y'know this pamphlet wasn't really necessary."
"What?" Shikamaru asked, half-asleep.
"Well, I already know I can do this stuff whenever I want," Neji said. Shikamaru just knew he was smirking.
"Asshole, go to sleep."