All I Want For Christmas Is You

By Shakespeare's Girl

"What am I thinking?" Lex Luthor asked the crisp, Kansas-winter night.

The wind gave him no answer.

God, how he wished for that one thing that was just beyond his grasp. If only he knew exactly what it was. He used to think it was Clark Kent's secrets, but now he was unsure of even that.

What did he want?

If he told the truth, the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world, was Clark.

Clark to hold, to kiss, to do an infinite number of delicious things to and with. Clark to keep forever.

That's what he wanted.

"What am I thinking?" Lex asked again. "As if I would ever wake up to find a Kansas Farmboy under my Christmas tree tomorrow."


Clark Kent was staring at the sky. He didn't know what was going on, but he had overhead Lex confessing what he wanted most. Clark had been asked to the mansion on Christmas Eve, and had heard the lament as he was walking down the drive to go home.

Clark stared at the sky and wondered. If there was only one thing in the world Lex wanted, and it was within his power to grant his wish, he should, shouldn't he?

Clark deliberated for a moment, then made up his mind.


It was easy for Clark to convince his parents to let him spend the night at Lex's. Despite his former hesitations toward the Luthor heir, Jonathon couldn't deny that his son was happiest when he was with Lex. As a result, Clark had the evening to himself, and he ran to Metropolis for some essentials for the next day. After all, he wasn't going to find a single store open on Christmas Eve in Smallville.

As he sped through the streets he mentally catalogued what he'd need.

This was going to be fun, he thought. He hadn't had to run all night like this since that fateful summer he'd "disappeared". With a grin, he raced through the suburbs into the Lower East Side. He knew the perfect store for his first stop, an all night music botique. And after that...well, suffice it to say that Lex would not be bored on Christmas Day.


It was six o' clock in the morning, and Clark was finished with his shopping, and his other plan was nearly done too. All he had left to do could be done after he was sure Lex was awake.

In the mean time, he'd gone home to feed himself. He told his groggy mother and his confused father that Lex hadn't had any food and he had offered to get some, and that Lex would be coming by with him later to spend Christmas with the Kents. As he ate, he hummed, happy to be doing something for Lex for once.


Lex woke up hung over and ravenously hungry. That's what he hated about Christmas Eve, he thought bitterly, he always wound up drinking alone and waking up the next morning with the worst headache ever. And it only ever happened to give him a hangover on the twenty fourth, he mused.

Slowly, Lex got up and stumbled into the bathroom.

He stared morosely at his reflection in the mirror, wishing he didn't look so old, and so tired. It seemed the circles under his eyes never went away, they just got deeper.

He twisted his mouth into a smile and reached for his toothbrush. Only one way to get the nasty taste out of his mouth, and that was lots of mint flavored toothpaste as soon as possible and some extrememly black coffee.

As he stared at his frothing mouth, he noticed somthing was off about the mirror. What was it? He watched the glass carefully, wary of explosions or implosions, or booby traps.

Finally he spit out his toothpaste and realized what was wrong. The medicine cabinent (which he never used anyway) was open. He grabbed a towel and used it to ease open the cabinent the rest of the way. Once it was open, he pulled out the deep green envelope someone had stuck inside. He decided to risk it, and opened the flap quickly. Inside was a polaroid picture of what appeared to be his kitchen. The coffeepot was circled in red ink.


When Lex reached the coffeepot, he found a hot pot of coffee, made to perfection, and another green envelope. He poured a glass carefully, and opened the envelope.

Merry Christmas, the slip of paper inside said. Exsercise patience and you will have your heart's desire.

Lex blinked owlishly at the message. What did that mean? Was he supposed to go to the exsercise room? He was, he realized. It was a scavenger hunt, of sorts. A treasure hunt. Lex sighed. He wondered what whoever had set this up thought his heart's desire was. They'd be wrong, of course, but it might be worth finding out how close they got. Smirking, Lex took his coffee with him as he trekked through his mansion.


Lex had been at this "treasure hunt" for an hour all ready. It was driving him insane. Whoever planned this had an insane grasp of how much one man could take. Along the way, he'd found clues in his fireplace, tied to his fencing foils, shoved inside an empty fountain pen, and in his car. The latest one, which he'd removed from his steering wheel, had suggested he go into town and look for the biggest claw. Lex could only assume that meant the Talon.

The Talon wouldn't even be open, Lex sighed. It was Christmas day, and Lana was in Metropolis with Nell. He knew he was speeding, but now that he'd started he wanted nothing more than to be finished.

He considered just quitting, but he didn't "just quit" anything.

He considered finding a way to cheat, or hiring someoen to do this for him, but that seemed like quitting too, so here he was, in his Porsche on Christmas Day, driving toward a closed coffeehouse for no other reason than a slip of paper told him too.

Either this was a dream, Lex was still drunk, or Lex really was as insane as everyone insisted he was. Lex dearly hoped it wasn't the latter.


At the Talon, Lex had found a CD and another note. The note told him to put the CD in his CD player and listen to it while he drove to the bridge he'd driven off of the first day he'd arrived.

Muttering under his breath about unpleasant memories on Christmas, and why was he out in the cold when he could be sitting by a fire and warm, Lex got back in the car.


Lex was shuddering as he drove. Nothing would have ever induced him to listen to Mariah Carey's Holiday tripe under normal circumstances, and yet, here he was, tearing down the road, his stereo blasting, her voice wailing.

I don't want a lot for Christmas, Mariah wailed, her voice grating to Lex's hangover.

I won't even wish for snow... Lex rolled his eyes. Snow they had in abundance, unfortunately. He sighed as she continued. Why was he doing this to himself?

Santa won't you bring me the one I really need?

Won't you please send my baby to me?

Lex stilled as the last line he'd heard registered. That was too close for comfort. That was too close to what he really did want for Christmas. Lex shook himself and kept driving


Lex screeched to a halt on the bridge and rolled his eyes when he realized that the song had stopped playing the exact moment he stopped on the bridge. Someone knew his driving habits well. He squinted and saw a fluttering green envelope taped to the railing. Lex got out and pulled it off.

He waited until he was back in the car to read the next clue.

What do you really want for Christmas Lex? Go home and look under your Christmas Tree. Lex blinked. He hadn't put up a Christmas Tree this year. He'd been sich of the pine needles. Confused he turned the car around and headed for home, ignoring Mariah as she began her singing again.


Clark watched the driveway as he hid in Lex's foyer. Well, technically he wasn't hiding yet, but he would be as soon as Lex pulled through the gates. He heard the distinct sound of screeching tires and glanced out to see Lex climbing out of the porch, looking slightly frazzled.

Clark left his vantage point and went to the brightly wrapped refridgerator box he'd gotten to house Lex's present. With a smile, he got in and closed the lid. Now all he had to do was wait.


Lex was stunned as he walked into his foyer. Not only was there a humongous Christmas Tree, but there was a giant box in front of it. Lex waited. Something was going on, here, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. Was he being Punked?

"Oh dear," Lex murmured. This was all too complicated. He needed a drink.

He also dearly wanted to find out what was in that box.

Damn curiosity.

Giving up on peace of mind until he'd finally solved this mystery, Lex approached the box and nudged it with his toe. Whatever was inside was heavy, as the box didn't move.

Timidly, he tore off a strip of paper. Then another. There was a heck of a lot of it on the floor before he finally realized that it was a box with a lid.

Feeling silly, Lex pushed the lid up and pulled it off. The rest of the box collapsed, and Lex stared at what had been inside.

"Clark," he stammered. "How--?"

"It's Christmas, Lex," Clark said, easily heard over Mariah's wailing voice coming from the stereo. "And all I wanted for Christmas was you."

Lex could only stare.


It was the best Christmas Lex could remember.

The Kents had invited him for dinner and then there was the fact that he'd found Clark himself under his tree, a thing he'd never thought would happen. And there was the undeniable fact that for once in his life, Lex Luthor was completely, effervescently happy.

But the best part of all was that Clark wasn't mad at him, he wasn't going to leave in a few minutes, and he'd finally, finally, shared his secret. And wasn't the least bit worried about what Lex might do now that he knew.

Lex smiled giddily as he helped Clark clear the table of the Christmas feast Martha had prepared. He was finally a part of something.

A part of a family.


Clark had given up on Lana. He had given up on everyone but Lex. Lex was here, and Clark didn't have to leave him.

But the best part of all was that finally, finally Lex knew. He knew Clark's long kept secrets. And while he wasn't quite sure how to break it to his parents, Clark wasn't a bit worried about what Lex might do, now that he knew.

Because the giddy smile on Lex's face told Clark that he was happier than he had been in a long time. And Clark was happy too, because Lex was happy.


Across town, Chloe had been spending the day with the Ross's. As she was clearing the table for Pete's mom, Pete ushered her throught a door way and then stopped.

Pete innocently pointed above them. "Oh look, Chloe, mistletoe."

A/N: I wrote this in about two hours. Sorry if it's a little muddled, but I wanted to share the Christmas Joy. And for all you out there who like Mariah Carey, I am truly sorry, it's not meant as a slam. It's just supposed to be funny. For the record, "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is one of my favorite Christmas Songs.

Merry Christmas to all of you!