When Sasuke had returned home that evening, his wife had been the picture of understanding. With practiced hands she healed the minor injuries he had sustained and, in a smooth and comforting voice, suggested that they go get ramen for dinner. The poor man was exhausted - going on nearly 24 hours without sleep - but there was no way she would subject his body to the dreadful task of gulping down whatever she could possibly attempt to make.

And so here Sakura was, sitting quietly in her stool as she watched her husband eat. Outwardly, she looked calm and concerned. On the inside…

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

-Anonymous

Mockery #1

Really, it wasn't fair.

Everything was against her. Honest.

First off, he was Uchiha Sasuke and he was divine. Perfect, beautiful, amazing, and –above all – Sex God extraordinaire. And even though he looked half-dead, eyelids fluttering as he raised his chopsticks to his mouth, he was still bloody fabulous in a completely sexy, vampire, undead, emo-king way.

Sakura's hand twitched.

Secondly, he was her husband. Sure, fangirls could fantasize about jumping his bones. Most of them did. But none of them had a snowball's chance in Hell of ever actually managing anything other than a glare from the infamous avenger. She, on the other hand…

Sakura had to look away from him, instead focusing on the counter in front of her, willing her heart to calm.

The third and finally – the most sane and logical and real reason – was that, dammit all, she was pregnant. Really now, she knew these things. She was an (amazing) medic, wasn't she? It was 100 natural, normal, and healthy that in her third month she feel… amorous. Hormones were crucial to the healthy development of her baby. She should be listening to them.

It wasn't fair.

He'd been gone three days. Three whole long, torturous, agonizing, long days. And now he was back. A fat load of help it did her.

Because he was exhausted and barely managing to stay awake long enough to eat his first meal in a day, and there was no way she was going to be so cruel as to keep him up (and active) any long than completely necessary.

But this is necessary!" screamed her inner, wildly hormonal and extremely pregnant self. "He's been gone three days! THREE DAYS! We deserve some –"

With a scowl, Sakura forced the thoughts from her mind. She was a loving, caring, and not sex-crazed woman. So there.

But she really did want to drag Sasuke home and have her wicked way with him. She wanted to a lot. Her hand twitched again, and she fidgeted nervously. Sasuke turned and looked her, black eyes smoldering even through the haze of sleep-deprivation. Sakura moaned and sat on her hands.

Her inner self was throwing a pregnant piss-fit.

[AN: That was icky of me XP. But, maybe, funny? Possibly? You should tell me. In a review. Or, if that doesn't sound good, you should suggest another perfectly decent quote for me to defile. In a review. Kk?