A/n: Just a little bit of humor, Honey asks THE question
"Cut… it… out!" Haruhi said pushing the twins off her as they had of course decided to glomp her when their customers had left.
"Don't wanna." they chorused. Mori strode forward and separated the unfortunate Haruhi-sandwich.
"Why do you guys want to touch Haru-chan all the time?" Honey asked.
"They don't." Kyoya said before the twins could respond. "The fact that she's female, and the fact they're male puts their sex drives into overtime." He casually gave each twin a clout on the head.
"I FORBID YOU FROM USING YOUR SEX MODES ON HARUHI!" Tamaki yelled glowering at the twins, who smirked.
"Ne, what's sex?" Everyone stopped, freezing in their actions then turning almost anamatronically to the speaker. Honey, aged 17 and a half was the oldest member of the club (In the anime he's oldest, manga he's second oldest but… Nevermind), he was sat on a couch clutching a stuffed bunny.
"You know… sex." Kaoru said lamely. Haruhi could see where this was leading.
"I'm going home." She said quickly, going to grab her jacket. Hikaru pulled her back, apparently she wasn't getting out of it this easy.
"Mitsukuni…" Mori said slowly.
"No, no… it is… an okay question." Tamaki said, having turned an interesting shade of pink.
"How do you NOT know?" Haruhi asked, sweat dropping. Honey looked at her innocently.
"It's the mothers job." Tamaki said, hiding behind Kyouya. "Go ahead mommy, tell your son."
"I thought we were the sons." Hikaru and Kaoru pointed at each other.
"The day I become a mother, hell will freeze over." Kyouya said in his iciest tone.
"Haruhi you're a girl…" Hikaru said. "You tell him."
"Agh… ME?!" She looked at Honey who was gazing at her with his butter-wouldn't-melt…it-would-turn-into-candy eyes. "Fine… generally about the ages of 11-13 boys and girls start… growing up."
"I know that Haru-chan." He said.
"Okay well.. They start to grow… in certain places right."
"Well, most girls do. Apparently Haruhi didn't." Hikaru said casually. Haruhi glowered at him.
"Fine YOU tell the story." Haruhi sat down on the couch next to Honey. "Do tell me I'm really enthralled."
"If you don't know I'm sure we can teach you." Kaoru purred at her. She gave him the death glare and he quickly retreated.
"Okay well… you know that without your clothes on you look different to Haruhi right." Hikaru said, he had underestimated how hard this was, it was actually surprisingly difficult to explain to his senpai about the birds and the bees.
"Don't use me as an example!" She flapped.
"It'd be gross if we said 'your mom' though." Kaoru reasoned.
"I KNOW boys and girls are different. That's why we wear jeans and girls wear dresses."
"But… Haruhi wears jeans." Tamaki said, trying to follow the bewildering conversation.
"And we have been known to wear dresses." Kyoya pushed his glasses up on his nose. Haruhi sweat dropped, knowing they must be confusing the poor boy.
"Mori can YOU explain?" She asked hopefully.
"Gn." Was all he said, and looked away, his cheeks tinted slightly pink.
"I'll try... you know when a boy and a girl love each other very much…" Tamaki was speaking to his shoes rather than Honey.
"It doesn't have to be a boy and a girl…" Haruhi added, having never been gender-conscious she supposed gay and lesbian relationships should be explained at the same time, especially as she had her own suspicions about Honey.
"AH THE ZUKA CLUB HAVE GOTTEN TO OUR DEAR HARUHI!" Moaned Tamaki, hugging his 'daughter' tightly. "I will NEVER let that wicked woman hurt my daughter in such a way!"
"It hurts?" Honey asked. Everyone fell silent and turned scarlet.
"I think you have the collective mental age of a 5 year old." Kyoya mused distastefully. "Honey-Senpai ask your parents.""Okay Kyo-chan!" Haruhi sweat dropped… it had been that easy? The twins started laughing, Mori nodded, and Tamaki buried his head in his hands. One by one the host club left for the night, Honey and Mori hanging back, Mori was buttoning Honey's winter jacket before either spoke.
"Mitsukuni…" Mori said gently. "Our parents gave us that talk when we were 7."
"I know." He smiled devilishly. "But it was fun seeing Tama-chan and the others blush." Mori deadpanned… tricky little…
A/n: I just thought this cute sort of thing was something Honey would do.