He wasn't really hiding, anyone could tell that. It was as if he was too grown up for this game and was merely lingering in the shadows of his masters house. He leaned with his back against the wall and took his glasses off, he could hardly see anything without them but right here it was too dark to see anything anyway. A clock on the wall told him it was 10:15pm. The game had been going on for a while now and he'd seen no one, heard no one. He let out a deep breath and silver vapour escaped from his mouth, he closed his eyes and wished he could spend this time in someone else's company.

Kimimaro placed a booted foot on the stair and crept up slowly. He knew Kabuto's favourite haunt, at the very top of the stairs and to the left in front of the statue of Orochimaru's mother. The statue was outrageously ugly but behind it was a secret dumb waiter – a lift used to smuggle things in and out of the house by means of a pulley system. Sometimes he thought Kabuto must climb into it because he seemed to disappear and re appear at will. The last step passed beneath his shoe and to his left, almost concealed by the darkness was the medical ninja. His face was obscured and his glasses could reflect no light, with only a faint swish he stepped backwards and was gone from view. Curious, Kimimaro hurried to the place where only a moment before his crush stood looking amazing in the last hours of this old year. He peered into the gloom and saw to his surprise Kabuto standing in a hidden section behind the wall, it was like an extra room swinging slightly on ropes and chains that would allow it to move freely up and down inside the house like a lift.

He opened his mouth to ask, but his friend placed a cold finger to his blood red lips and guided him inside. The doors slid shut silently and they were pressed together in the tiny space no larger than a broom cupboard. The swing and sway of the room caused them to lean into each other and before long the temperature of the room had risen considerably. Kabuto leaned casually against the wall and brought the white haired mans hips slowly against his own. Their faces were inches apart but without light or glasses Kabuto was blind. He stretched out his neck to find some lips to kiss but found only a neck which he nuzzled fondly.

"This games kinda stupid, right?" drawled Kimimaro into his friends ear

"Yeah but we bagged the best hiding place by far, even their plant-man couldn't find us in here..."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth the lift gave a violent shudder and plunged down a few feet. Kimimaro felt a draught at his back and looked round in horror expecting to see Orochimaru's face peering in. If he knew about them there would be trouble – a lot of trouble. Both men turned and felt exposed in an incriminating position, but it wasn't their boss trying to force his way into the lift – it was Zetsu.

"Stupid plant-man huh? I've been called that three times now and I've had enough of being It,"

"Come here and let me tag you..."

"Or we'll tell ole 'rochy what you've been up to!"

The last bit was said in a strange singsong voice that no one ever heard Zetsu use again. He put his hands on the inside of the doors and tried to force them apart. In a panic Kimimaro pressed his back against the wall and started to scream and cough – he was terminally ill after all. Kabuto reached over to the panel in the wall and hit it as hard as he could. The lift shot downwards at the speed of light, the chains rattling and shaking as the lift literally fell through the house. The two lover's hair stood up on end and they clung to each other and watched Zetsu's face get smaller and smaller as they fell into the darkness.

Somewhere in the basement, the lift slowed to a stop and Kimimaro fell to his knees shaking. Kabuto slumped to the floor and closed his eyes -it had been a narrow escape. Silence filled the small space, and he shifted closer to the sick ninja beside him for comfort. He listened - through the thin bricks in the walls a lot of noise could be heard. A cacophony of different sounds; crashing, hissing, squealing. He nudged Kimimaro and nodded his head in the direction of the outer room, they pressed their ears against the wall and listened closely...until two names were mentioned.



Kimimaro's eyes grew wide in astonishment, they'd stumbled upon the two men making out just as they had done. He winked at Kabuto forgetting he could hardly see and prodded him in the ribs.

"I knew it!" he hissed! "when I saw them arguing at dinner I thought they were just like a married couple, lets go say hello shall we?"

Kabuto tried to stop him but the doors were already thrown open, a little light illuminated the scene before them. Kakuzu was standing in the middle of the room half naked, all the stitching in his body was showing, Hidan was standing so close to him it was difficult to distinguish between them. The pair stood in a puddle and as they turned to see who'd caught them at it, Kabuto and Kimimaro gasped.

Hidan was standing there in only a pair of...

In his hiding place, Jirobu sniggered. Nobody could find him ever! He'd hidden himself so well he would win this game for sure. He'd heard everyone else running about, screaming or laughing and thought to himself how clever he actually was. Here he lay, snug and hidden and Zetsu could not see him. Zetsu had in fact just opened the door and seen a huge man trying to hide under a pitifully small rug, he'd closed the door in embarrassment and pretended not to see a grown man playing hide and seek for real.

Down in the great hall, Sakon and Ukon were debating what to do with the set up they'd come across. A giant disco ball hung from the ceiling and a load of brand new lighting had been put up around the walls. Massive speakers took up a lot of space on a new stage that had been built, and a dj's mixing desk stood between them. The floor had been done over in metal plating and a few floor-to-ceiling poles had been set up on mini stages scattered throughout the room. A microphone was standing alone and ominous on the stage as if promising a chance of karaoke. Sakon smiled, he was the tops at karaoke.

"We need to tweak this crib a little" suggested his brother,

"I have a great idea..." said Sakon, high fiving his brother.

Half an hour later they snuck out of the huge double doors that had been done over in chrome, inside the hall gleamed with new equipment and the dj's desk was stacked with new cds. A surprise hung suspended in the roof and Orochimaru was going to get the fright of his life when he found out what they'd done.

The boss himself was chillin with Sasori his ex akatsuki partner. They sat by the pool and watched Kisame do laps, the whole scene was lit up by expensive floor lights. Orochimaru sipped a cocktail and shrugged off his loose purple bow and shirt. Underneath was his gangsta gear.

Sasori choked back a laugh. The get-up was horrendous, a bright yellow matching tracksuit with white stripes down the sides. Chunky white trainers and even chunkier gold jewellery really made it larger than life.

"I got the house, I got the ride, I got the look too...innit" drawled Orochimaru in an awful American accent and nodded his head as if he expeted the puppet master to be jealous. Kisame gave him a wink from the chilly water and almost drowned when Orochimaru pulled out a pair of oversized black sunglasses and slipped them on.

"I...erm...yeah" muttered Sasori and looked at anything else except the wannabe rapper he was sitting next to. He was saved a reply when a door burst open in the house behind him, the sound of breaking glass followed. Running footsteps on the 1st floor balcony signalled someone getting closer. Sasori dropped down behind the deckchairs and Orochimaru tried to hide in his luminescent suit, kisame went underwater – they thought Zetsu was coming to get them.

"Kisame! HELP! He's comiiiiinnnng!!"

A terrified voice wailed from the balcony and a body hurtled through the night. Sasori looked up in time to see an akatsuki cloak come soaring through the air and crash into the pool. The water exploded in a million crystal droplets and Kisame surfaced with a grin on his face. A second later the mystery person burst through the water and gasped for breath. It was Itachi.

"Nice of you to join us" said Orochimaru-gone-gangsta, "how about we get the disco going now?" he got up and ushered everyone else back into the house. The two dripping shenobi followed sulkily, they'd never made out in a pool before.

20 minutes later everyone had assembled in the hall. Konan's hair was messed up and Kidomaru was smiling broadly, Pein glared but he had pink lipstick smeared all over his face and was holding hands with Deidara in a tight dress. Tobi and Tayuya stood proudly at the front of the crowd, the mask was off and staying off it seemed, Jirobu was nowhere to be seen- it seemed he was determined to win the game and so the whole disco thing must be a trick to get him to come out. Orochimaru was on the stage parading up and down in his new gear and doing the 'rapper walk' which everyone was trying to ignore.

Sasori had raided the garage and was content with a bottle of evil smelling liquid that he was sniffing in a dark corner, Zetsu had run in and declared that he'd found everyone and now he was allowed to eat someone. Sakon suggested he eat Ukon, and Ukon had said Sakon was more tasty, they were still arguing at the back of the room.

Itachi and Kisame were soaking wet and had tried to escape back to the pool 3 times, but Orochimaru said he wouldn't allow them to do that in his pool.

That only left the two pairs of lovers. The sound nin were huddling as far from Kakuzu and Hidan as they could – they had seen all to much of that makeout session. Besides, Hidan was still wearing nothing more than...

"Speedos!" he squealed and he jumped onto the first pole he came across as soon as the music started playing. Sakon had good music taste and the handsome nin had replaced Orochimarus horrible music with a good selection of Korn, Sepultura and Marilyn Manson. Look Away by Korn had started playing and Hidan started spinning, everyone took that as a cue to dance as well.

"Hey this song kinda reminds me of you and me" he shouted at Kakuzu through the din, and swung on the pole seductively. His rosary bounced on his chest and shone in the light from the disco ball. The style of dancing going on in the hall was dirty, and when I say dirty I mean filthy!

Kisame had never danced before and Itachi was having a lot of fun teaching him.

"You swing your hips that way and then that way..." chuckled the sharingan user with his hands resting on the shark mans waist, "honestly, how about I give you a demo?" Itachi sprang out into the middle of the dancefloor and dragged Kisame with him, they knocked everyone else out of the way except Orochimaru who owned the floor with his amazing breakdancing.

Itachi spun and clasped his hands behind his partners neck he swung his hips expertly and Kisame fell into the rhythm beside him, they'd really got the hang of it and both were enjoying themselves more than ever. The music pumped out louder and the first of Ukon's surprises exploded from the machines arranged around the room.

"What the fuck! Where'd this stuff come from?" yelled Hidan from his pole, he tried to climb up it away from the advancing foam that was filling the room.

"Ah! Its everywhere, help" shouted Kakuzu from his seat on the stage where Hidan was dancing. He picked some of it up and wiped it on the other guys leg.

"Ha, its on you now, there's no escape" he wolf whistled and shoved Hidan off the pole and into the stuff. The foam was an odd pink colour and looked good in his hair, for the first time Kakuzu shook off the scarf that covered his head and floppy black hair spilled down to his shoulders. He still refused to dance.

Nearby Tobi and Tayuya were doing the dance they'd seen on the old movie Dirty Dancing, Tobi was standing with his knees bent and his arms under Tayuya's back, he was swinging her left and right and the foam was creeping up their bodies. It had filled the room at waist height and everyone's clothes were pretty much ruined.

The expert trampoline designer Kidomaru had made a web in between the three poles. Him and Konan were bounding around on it with bottles of something fizzy and alcoholic in their hands. Konan's eyes were crossed and every now and then she bounced off in the wrong direction, Kidomaru took great pleasure in 'rescuing' her each time. Pein had no time for sending her glares, he was too busy watching two 'bunny girls' dance around the same pole. Someone had re-united him with some good shit and he was watching the multicoloured display of feminine posing with relish. Later he would find out that Deidara did like to wear a dress every now and then, and tonight he was flaunting his new curves in someone else's too-small pink nightgown. If Pein chose to believe he was a bunny girl then great, as long as the other girl would piss off.

Orochimaru had had even more to drink since he was kicked off his own stage. He'd –shock horror- put on Eminem then tried to rap along. Sasori viciously booted him off and put Korn back on. He liked the effect the heavy metal music had on Hidan and Kakuzu's dancing. Anyway after being rejected by his 'homies', Orochimaru had put on a skirt and come back dressed as a rude girl. He'd immediately been molested by the Leader of Akatsuki and made to dance around a pole, he had to admit it was quite fun, and he liked the approving looks he was getting when he pointed his toes like this, and gripped his stuffed bra like that.

The party carried on way into the night, and at midnight Sakon released the surprise hidden in the roof. On the last chime of the massive clock the brothers had rigged up, he pulled a cord and a million purple and red balloons were released from the ceiling. They floated down gracefully and stuck in the foam. Unfortunately, Ukons prankster side had come through and most of the balloons were filled with multicoloured goo which exploded on impact. He'd needed Deidara's help with this one and the effects were hilarious. Kimimaro's white hair was stained pink from the stuff which Kabuto had rubbed into it, and Hidan's silver hair was turning green from the chemicals in the exploding balloons.

His attention was distracted from this, however when Kakuzu pulled out the curious item he'd stashed away days ago when the van crashed. Reaching into his cloak he pulled out a shiny white instrument and waved it in the priests face.

"What the hell is that?" he asked rudely as he was disturbed from his erotic pole dancing. He'd smeared the multicoloured goo on himself and now he glowed in the dark.

"This, my friend, is something that belongs to out beloved Leader..."

"Oh that stoner, ha lets have a look then"

Kakuzu gave him a better look at the thing before shoving it at his ear and firing at least 6 times. Hidan wasn't expecting it,

"Oh Jashin-sama you motherfucker what have you done!" he wailed, he raised his free hand to his ear and it came back bloody. He smiled strangely, "This...hurts"

"This is Pein's piercing gun! Thought you might enjoy testing it out!" Kakuzu grinned a big grin and examined his handiwork, his partner now had 6 shiny metal earings all round his ear. In a flash Hiadn had snatched the gun back off him and managed to unload 3 more into kakuzu's nose.

"Arrrcgh you bastard! Not my nose I'm already scarred enough right?" Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's wrist and squeezed until he dropped the gun. He waved it around as if deciding where to attack next. Hidan leaned in closer to the taller man and smiled up into his face, he blew a raspberry and the gun was shoved into his mouth. Two shots and his mouth was full of blood.

"Aw oo baftarb" he spluttered and shook his head. Kakuzu nodded approvingly, threw the empty gun into the foam, and pulled Hidan into a bloody kiss. The pain and the close proximity turned him on and he backed Hidan into the pole. Hidan's head was tilted back and his spine crunched as the pressure holding him to the pole increased, the music seemed to grow ever louder and the alcohol had seeped into his brain. There was nothing else except him and Kakuzu. He raised his hips and ground them every so slightly against the others.

"Kuku" he moaned and Kakuzu slapped him

"'Kuzu 'I can put up with but 'Kuku'? Hell no!"

As if for punishment the taller man shoved him harder against the pole until he cried out, two tentacles slipped out and flicked the switch on the smoke machines installed by Sakon and Ukon. The smoke shrouded them and nobody could intrude. Kakuzu's hands moved gradually up to Hidan's neck where they stopped. His thumbs crossed and his long fingers interlocked around the delicate neck. Hidan's purple gaze fixed on his partners green one and Kakuzu began to grip. He squeezed harder and tighter until the air was cut off from the priests lungs, being immortal that wasn't a problem for him and his eyes glazed over with pleasure. He felt 8 nails dig into his skin and inside he was sure he felt blood vessels burst, but still he wasn't done. He would try and speak but everything in his throat had become mangled. With the last of his strength he put his hands flat on Kakuzu's broad chest and shoved him with all his might. Kakuzu lost his footing and disappeared into the foam. Hidan chuckled and went to have a go on the trampoline.

Sasori emerged from his dark corner which was the last place to be infected with pink foam and balloons. The bottle of stuff was gone – he'd drunk it and nothing had happened. He was pissed off because his partner was embarrassing him by belly dancing around a pole in front of their leader. Well he wasn't sure if it was meant to be belly dancing, but that's how it was coming across. Poor Dei-chan couldn't help it. The stitches in the pink dress were straining and it wouldn't be long before...


Sasori hung his head in shame and tried to shuffle back to the garage but two strong hands gripped him and pushed him towards the pole where Deidara was standing trying to hold his dress together.

"Go sort the little brat out please?"


"Shut up no one asked you"Zetsu argued with himself, and Sasori looked up from the foam and goo and smoke to his half naked partner covered in lipstick and make up. He was trying to hide himself behind Orochimaru but the snake man was all skin and bone. Sasori felt as if he was here but his mind was elsewhere, he looked mournful, his eyes were rolling, he was falling...falling... His head hit the floor and he lay still – passed out. People carried on dancing around him, and the party carried on.

It wasn't long before the casualties stated mounting up. Konan fell off the trampoline and hit her head, Kidomaru tried to save her and ended up landing on his neck – never drink and jump, they lay under the foam in a coma of sorts. Pein got over exited and made a move on Orochimaru who didn't hesitate to send a poisonous snake to bite him where he'd know about it. As the poison took effect, Orochimaru took liberties with Pein's stash. After consuming the rest of the bag he found out it didn't go so well with his medicine, he slumped against the stage and his eyes rolled heavenwards.

Deidara tried to flee the scene but didn't get very far, he tripped up on his broken dress and went head over high heels into the buffet table. He stayed there, in munchy hand heaven, Leader would have a lot to say about it if he was conscious. As for Itachi and Kisame, they were laying fast asleep on a couch at the side. Too much hip swaying and spinning around had them so worn out they could sleep through the soulful sounds of Sepultura. Zetsu had taken charge of the music and he enjoyed flapping his flytrap to death metal, for once there was a grin on his face!

Tobi and Tayuya had slowed to a romantic waltz, they were totally consumed by love and hadn't noticed their friends slipping into unconsciousness around them. When the music changed to Zetsu's new favourite band they hit the bar – hard. A toast to love, a toast to masks, a toast to music. It wasn't long until they were helpless and giggling like schoolchildren.

Sakon and Ukon were doing allright. They'd managed to keep out of trouble and refrain from grossing everyone out all night. They were just heading out when something under the foam tripped them up – it was the piercing gun. They went down with a thud and got a mouthful of toxic foam. Sakon choked then a body fell out of nowhere – it was Kakuzu and he knocked them out by accident. The twins lay on the floor – out cold and didn't wake up until the next morning.

Hidan was in his element – he had the trampoline to himself and no one else could watch him jumping up and down in his speedo's, well except Zetsu who was being a dj, and Kakuzu who was watching from the shadows. Neither of whom cared much. The trampoline was suspended high above the sleeping bodies, foam, mess, balloons, spilt alcohol and discarded clothes. Hidan did a backflip and Zetsu closed his eyes, he really wasn't into men, especially drunken backflipping priests. Kakuzu on the other hand was driven crazy and he rugby tackled the silver haired nin and brought them crashing down over the side.

There was a sickening crack and a torrent of swearwords. It was just their bad luck that the scythe was laying hidden under the mess, it had gone straight through Hidan and stopped one of Kakuzu's hearts. The two just lay there impaled as the sun rose slowly outside the wrecked house. The room was silent except for the sound of Zetsu eating Sakon's prized cd collection and the steady sound of sleeping ninja.

"Happy fucking new year" sighed Hidan