A/N: Hey everyone. This is a random plot bunny that demanded feeding, and so I gave in before it started gnawing on my AC DVD. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or Joyous whatever you celebrate!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, but if you really like you could give it to me for Christmas.


A Need for Spoons

Chapter 1: Christmas Planning

The tree was decorated, with the erratic beauty only children could pull off. The lights were hung. The carols played loudly over the radio, booming their messages of love, peace, joy, and giving.

At the moment, Tifa was not feeling anything even remotely close to the Christmas spirit.

She was leaning against the bar counter, head in one hand as the fingers of her other hand repeatedly drummed against the surface in a ceaseless rhythm. A small glass of Corel wine rested near her elbow. It was one of the rare days she allowed herself to drink when the bar was still open.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Yuffie finish clearing a table and bringing the dirty dishes back to where Tifa was standing. She paid her no heed, her eyes and thoughts elsewhere, but a hand waving in front of her face forced her to glance at the ninja.

"Earth to Boobs?" Yuffie said, giving her a prod. "What's got you so emo?"

Tifa glared at the ninja, resenting the intrusion, but she couldn't help but have her eyes flicker over to the corner, where Cloud was studying his maps.

"Ahh," Yuffie commented, grinning wryly. "Thought that might be it. He still being a complete and utter moron?"

Tifa sighed. "He's not a moron. He just...well I guess I should be thankful he's actually home so much now. It's just that I thought that by now we would have been..." she trailed off, blushing slightly. Yuffie nodded thoughtfully, and took on a pensive expression. Then she leaned forward towards Tifa, her face set with seriousness.

"Teefs," Yuffie began, "You know what you need?"

"...What?" Tifa asked, rather afraid of the answer but her curiosity and desperation for help getting the better of her.

"A good spooning, that's what." Yuffie stated matter-of-factly. At Tifa's look of disbelief, she added, "I mean, a snog session would be even better for getting rid of all the tension between you two, and sex even better, but spooning is so much easier to do while making it appear accidental."

"Yuffie-" Tifa started, but was interrupted by the back door opening, admitting the cloaked figure of Vincent, who looked around, and, spotting the conversing women, walked over to join them.

"Hey Vincent," Tifa greeted, which was followed by a "Heya Vin-Vin!" from Yuffie, whom, Tifa couldn't help but notice, had turned slightly pink.

"Tifa, Yuffie," Vincent said, giving a slight nod to each of them. "Is Cloud here? He said he needed my input on some of his maps."

"Over there," Tifa jerked her head in the direction of Cloud's table. Nodding to them once more, Vincent headed over to Cloud's table. Tifa watched as he sat down, Cloud greeting him warmly, before turning back to Yuffie, intending to tell her never to mention her sex life again on pain of death. Yuffie's attention, however, was focused on Cloud and Vincent, a rather morose expression on her face.

Tifa cleared her throat loudly. Yuffie jumped slightly, turning back to Tifa, her face even more pink.

Tifa raised her eyebrows.

Yuffie scowled. "Don't even say it." she stated flatly.

"Say what?" Tifa asked, assuming an expression of angelic innocence. "That you can't keep your eyes of Vincent due to the fact you find him totally sexy and darkly alluring?"

"Screw you," Yuffie said, but there was little venom in her voice and she glanced once more at the ex-Turk. She sighed. "Boobs, we are sooo hopeless."

Tifa mimicked the sigh. "Yeah, we really are, Pancake," she agreed, staring at Cloud.

They both sat and admired their secret crushes for a moment, then Yuffie slammed her open palm down against the countertop, startling Tifa and causing some nearby customers to glance over curiously.

"That's it," she exclaimed. "We cannot just sit here and moon over those two oblivious assholes. This calls for action! Action, I say!" Leaning over the countertop, with a suspicious glance around to make sure no one was close by, Yuffie hissed, "In the next two weeks, we both need to have been spooned, or we throw ourselves off a very high building onto something pointy. Agreed?"

Tifa froze for a moment, her emotions conflicted, then resolutely shook herself. Straightening so she stood at her full height, she nodded.

"Agreed. Except for the whole throwing ourselves off a building part. I don't think I'm quite that desperate."

Yuffie shrugged, then grinned widely. "Bet you 200 gil I can get a picture of Vinnie with his shirt off while I'm at it," she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Tifa cocked one eyebrow, then gave a grin of her own. "Yes, no doubt you'd frame it and keep it under your pillow." Ignoring Yuffie's glare, she continued. "Alright, 200 gil it is. Same thing for me, except with Cloud."

"You two live together, you must have seen him without his shirt on a dozen times by now!" Yuffie exclaimed.

Now it was Tifa who scowled. "You'd think that, wouldn't you. But no, I haven't, he's quite a private person when it comes to getting dressed."

"How inconsiderate of him."

Tifa laughed. "Indeed."

Yuffie giggled, then threw a sobering look back in the direction of their targets.

"Two weeks?"

Tifa nodded, following Yuffie's gaze. Staring at Cloud's blond spikes, her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Two weeks."


A/N: A bit on the short side, but it's just the setup. The rest of the chappies will be longer, pwomise.