Disclaimer: I have to do this right? OK then...uh...this is my story...uh...the X-Men don't belong to me...uh...please don't sue me! Thank you :)
Ah yes, and reviews would be much appreciated! Hooray! Oh yeah, and if anyone for any odd reason wants to use this story for something, please ask permission first from me. Thanks :)


In the war room of the X-Mansion in New York...

"OK, everyone. Daily meeting. Any new orders of business?" Professor Charles Xavier asked.

Beast stood up. "Well, I think it's about time we changed costumes. I mean, there's something odd about a group of grown men and women running around some secluded mansion in spandex."

"We haven't changed our costumes in over 30 years, Beast. I'm not about to start now. Anything else?" the Professor asked.

The doorbell rang. "That's my pizza!" said Wolverine, jumping up.

The professor sighed. "Meeting's over. Everyone go away."


Meanwhile, on the front porch of the X-Mansion, a 15-year-old girl waited at the door. It suddenly flung open. A very hairy man in yellow spandex grabbed the pizza and ran away. Another man in a hovering wheelchair sped to the door.

"Uh...he's gonna have to pay for that..." the girl said, pointing at Wolverine running away.

"Please, come in," Professor X said, smiling.

"Sorry, I just deliver pizzas..." the girl began, but she was yanked through the door.

She walked beside the man in the wheelchair. "This is my school for the gifted," he explained. "My name is Professor Charles Xavier."

"It doesn't look like a school," the girl pointed out.

"That's OK, they made up for that in the movie," the Professor answered.

The girl looked over to see the Professor walking beside her. "Hey! I thought you were in a wheelchair?"

"Oh, don't mind it. Sometimes the cartoonists forget that I can't walk and draw me walking anyway. It's usually corrected by the next scene."

"Ahhh," the girl replied knowingly.

They approached a door and the Professor motioned for her to enter. The girl stepped inside what seemed to be a kitchen, filled with the oddest looking group of people she had ever seen. There was the hairy guy, gobbling down the pizza, and a group of other people wearing colorful uniforms.

"These are my X-Men...Beast, Rogue, Jean, Cyclops, Jubilee, Wolverine, and Storm," the Professor said warmly.

"You're all aware that you're wearing your underwear on the wrong side of your suits, right?" the girl said, gesturing to Cyclops.

"Uh huh," he replied calmly.

"Everyone, this is..." the Professor put his fingers on his temples and concentrated. "Lily Jordan."

"That's not my name," the girl said.

"It is now. Everyone say hi to Lily."

"Hi Lily," the X-Men echoed.

"That's not my name!" she protested.

"Hey, where's Gambit?" Jubilee said. Gambit suddenly waltzed into the room, a blonde woman on his arm. "Everyone, dis be Candy. Say hi to Candy," Gambit drawled.

"Hi Candy," the X-Men echoed.

Rogue was furious. "Gambit, just 'cause ah can't touch ya doesn't mean we're not in a relationship!"

"Yeah right, chere!" Gambit said, laughing. Rogue punched him in the stomach. He stopped laughing. Candy looked disgusted and left.

"Lily has the power to shoot atomic energy out of her hands," the Professor informed everyone.

"No I don't! I'm not even a mutant!" 'Lily' protested.

"You are now. Jean, show Lily to her room."

Jean jumped out of her seat and lead Lily down a series of corridors.

"You people are strange. I just came to deliver pizza...I gotta get a better route," 'Lily' said as they walked.

Jean shrugged.

"So what do you do? And why don't you have a nickname?" Lily asked.

"What, me? Well I'm supposed to be a psychic, but I really can't do anything without falling into a dead faint. I'm basically here just to be a love interest for Cyclops and to cause Wolverine pain. He's in love with me but can't have me 'cause I'm married to Scott," Jean replied.

They stopped at an empty room. Lily stared at Jean. "Has you ever thought about how shallow and meaningless your character is?" she asked. "No offence," she added.

"Nope. Thinking causes wrinkles."

"Riiiiiiiiight..." Lily replied. She walked into her room and closed the door.


Meanwhile, in an "abandoned" warehouse...

"Mwahahahahaha! The X-Men can't stop me now!" a voice thundered.