Chapter 40

AN: The style network is airing season one Gossip Girl episodes that inspired me to finally finish this chapter. I will try to update this story more often but it is not abandoned. Hope those of you that are still reading enjoy this chapter !

Ryan felt the guilt hit him as he walked towards Serena's hospital room. He couldn't believe that he just walked out on his wife and the mother of his unborn child without saying one word. It was involuntary hearing Kevin Volchok's name. The fact that he was the one responsible for saving Serena and his unborn child's life and took the life of Marissa's was too much handle. He now wished that he could have stuck it out instead of running out on Serena but he couldn't control the reflex. His breath caught in his chest as he saw Sandy and Kirsten standing outside of her room.

"Is she ok?" Ryan asked them as Sandy sighed walking towards Ryan. "Please tell me that they are ok." Ryan pleaded with him.

"Serena is sleeping peacefully now." Sandy said as Ryan breathed a sigh of relief but it didn't last long at is next words. "She was hysterical after you left the room. They sedated her due to the stress caused by today but they felt it was necessary after the fall." Ryan felt as though he couldn't breathe hearing how his actions hurt Serena.

"It's ok, Ryan." Kirsten told him as Ryan shook his head clenching his hands into fists. Kirsten pulled Ryan into her arms hugging him close. "Volchok was responsible for taking the life of someone that you loved and now responsible for saving the lives of your wife and child. It's only natural that you need a moment to process everything." She told him trying to soothe him.

"Son, you should go home to get something to eat and some sleep. The doctors said that Serena would sleep for a few hours." Sandy said to Ryan worried about his lack of sleep and food.

"I am not leaving this hospital without Serena." Ryan said to Sandy pulling away from Kirsten. "It would be abandoning her and I will never do that to her ever again."

"Sandy will get you a bed or cot to sleep on for tonight. I will go to the cafeteria to get you dinner and you will eat all of it. Your wife is going to need you when she wakes up so you need to eat and get some rest." Kirsten ordered him firmly. "Now go sit with her and I will be back with your food."

"Thank you, Kirsten." Ryan said to her before walking back into Serena's room shutting the door behind him.

Kirsten walked up to her husband, "We both know that Ryan is not going to leave Serena's side. She is going to need him when she wakes up." She said as Sandy pulled her into her arms kissing the top of her head. "I wish there was something more that I could do for him."

"Me too." He agreed as he held on to her.

Meanwhile

Ryan stared at his wife sound asleep in her hospital bed as guilt racked his mind. He could believe that he just walked out of the room like that on her after almost losing their baby today. It just like someone sucked all of the air out of the room when he found out who saved them and he had no choice but to leave the room. He could only imagine how she felt when he left the room without saying a word to her. Ryan had made many mistakes in his life but this he regretted more than all of the rest of them. He took Serena's left hand staring at her wedding rings remembering the day they got married.

Flashback

Ryan was sitting in his office in New York when Serena walked inside wearing a white dress that had three quarter length lace sleeves that was see through down below her bust that she more a nude tube top underneath and the bottom of the was a beautiful white fabric with silver high heels

"Hey, I have a surprise for you. Can you leave early?" She grinned at him pushing her curly long blonde hair behind her ears.

"Actually I just finished up all of my work for today." Ryan replied standing up walking over to her pulling her to him. "You look beautiful." He smiled at her before kissing her.

"You look pretty good yourself." She said putting her arms around his neck. "Are you ready to go?" She asked him beaming.

"Let's go." He said getting a giggle from Serena as she pulled him out of his office. "Do I get any clue?" He asked her once they were in the elevator.

"No" She told him pushing him up against the wall of the elevator kissing him. They pulled away from each other when the elevator chimed at the ground floor. Serena took his hand in hers leading him to a limo parked out front. "How was your day?" She asked him running her hand over grey suit coat.

"It was pretty good but busy. I wanted to get everything done since we are getting married at city hall tomorrow. But I didn't get enough done that I could take the day after tomorrow off. I do promise you that we a long honeymoon once we are in California." Ryan said to her hoping that she wouldn't be too disappointed.

"I am going to hold you to your promise, Mr. Atwood." She grabbed him by his light blue tie kissing him until she felt the limo stop. "We are here." She exclaimed with a huge grin on her face. Ryan looked out the window to see there were parked in front of Central Park.

The limo driver opened the door for them then they climbed out of the limo to see a carriage holding up a sign that said Atwood, "What are you up, Serena?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"You will have to get in the carriage to find out." She answered as he got into the carriage. He found that he couldn't take his eyes off Serena as they rode through the park. "What?" She asked him smiling leaning in close to him.

"The morning that kid knocked you into me at Starbucks, I almost went to Dunkin Donuts by my office so I wouldn't be late. I'm so glad that I risked being late because I wouldn't have met you." Ryan said to her as she shook her head at him. "You don't agree?" He asked her.

"No, I think that we were destined to meet. We would have found each other even if you hadn't been there that morning. I know it sounds so corny but I know that it's true." Serena explained to him. "But I am glad that it didn't take any longer to meet you because now that you are in my life I can't imagine mine without you."

"You don't have too." Ryan said softly to her as he ran on of his hands through her long blonde hair before pulling her in for a kiss. He felt the carriage stop pulling away from her to look around to see they were in the Strawberry Gardens in Central park. He saw a preacher standing by the edge of the stones leading to the water with Blair wearing a baby blue dress standing on one side and Eric on the other of the preacher waiting for him. His blue eyes flew to Serena, who had a nervous and shy look in her eyes.

"I know that you didn't like the how impersonal city hall was but wanted something small. Are you mad?" She asked him.

Ryan answered her by pulling her into a passionate kiss, "I love it. I can't wait to for you to be Mrs. Ryan Atwood." He said to her making her eyes tear up after a long kiss. He helped her out of the carriage then they walked towards the preacher smiling but they kept glancing over at each other. "I love you." He said to her as they walked towards the preacher.

"I love you, too." She replied to him squeezing his arm as they walked.

End of flashback

"I remember the day that we got married in Central Park." Ryan said to a sleeping Serena. "You look like an angel and I remember thinking that I didn't deserve you. But I refused that bother me because I had never been as happy in my whole life as I was when I was with you. You said that we were destined to be together and you were right." He kissed her hand then held it tightly in his.

Later that night

Ryan opened his eyes yawning to see it was now dark outside. He rolled over to check on Serena to see her awake looking at him, "Serena, I'm so sorry." He said getting off of the cot rushing over to her bed reaching for her hand hoping that she wouldn't pull away. Ryan let out a sigh of relief when she left him hold her hand. "It was wrong to leave the way I did when I heard Volchok's name. I just lost it but that's now excuse." He whispered to her as she just stared at him. "I love you so much." He added caressing her hand with his thumb.

"You just ran out the room and I wasn't sure if you would come back." Serena said to him fighting tears as Ryan looked at her shocked. "I thought that you changed your mind about wanting us." She went to look away from her but he pulled her head towards him making her look into his eyes.

"I will always want you and our children. You are my wife and I can't imagine my life without you in it." Ryan stared into to her eyes with her love and devotion before he leaned in kissing her softly. He pulled away with his forehead pressed against hers.

"Ryan, I love you." She whispered as tears fell down her eyes pulling him into a hug. Ryan held her tightly to him with his eyes closed. "I'm sorry that I freaked out on you." She added causing him to pull away to look at her.

"You have nothing to apologize. I was the one that messed up and owes you the apology." He said stressed to her putting his hand on her cheek. "I promise you that I will NEVER walk out on you like that again."

"I can't imagine how hard it was for you to hear that the guy that was responsible for Marissa death saved my life and the baby's life." Serena told him putting her hand on his cheek then kissed him lovingly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I still can't really wrap by mind around the fact but I rather talk about our wedding on Saturday."
Ryan said to her smiling at the last part.

"Mm, I love the idea of getting to marry you with our families there with us." Serena said to him moving over in the bed. "Cuddle with me?" She asked him as he got on the bed holding her to him. Ryan put one of his hands on her stomach where their child was growing.