for: Ren—who is wittier and funnier and more WIN than I could ever hope to be. To more bonding moments, strange as they are.
ALSO, WE HAVE THE BEST OTP EVER.
summary: "Yesterday, Sasuke told me that he couldn't understand why you were sent on those seduction missions all the time, considering he was pretty sure you didn't even know how to do a proper striptease."
notes: graaah. I wanted to challenge myself, and make this not-angsty.
So, naturally, I turn to '80s songs.
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Neither do I own the song Total Eclipse of the Heart.
"—and I need you more than ever!"
"And if you only hold me tight—"
"—than we'll be holding on, forever!"
"And we'll only be making it ri—Sasuke! Give me that microphone. It's not your turn, yet!"
The dark-eyed man snorted.
"And we're all sorry for that, aren't we? Your singing sucks."
Sakura pouted at him, and reached over to the side for her drink. As it passed under his nose, Sasuke noted that it was alcoholic.
"Hey! Give that back!"
"No. I think you've had more than enough."
"And how would you know, princess? You conk out after three shots!"
"Shut up, Sakura. You promised you—"
"Yeah, yeah, why don't you come over here and make me?"
Naruto looked at the two of them with bored interest. Kakashi was smart to go the minute Sakura had opened her sixth bottle of sake. Honestly, and they called him an imbecile? Any moron could see the sexual tension between those two. He wished that they'd just hurry up and jump each other already.
Preferably within the next—he looked up at the clock hanging over the doorway—two hours.
The pot of his bet
(a month's worth of free ramen at Ichiraku for him, a distraction for Ino the next time Temari came into town for Shikamaru, and a copy of that picture of Ino making out with Sakura from their last "top secret" slumber party's Truth or Dare session for Kiba)
were riding on Sakura's drunkenness
and Sasuke's hormones
Naruto sweated. He really didn't feel like getting the crap beat out of him once Ino realized that he and Kiba were distracting her for the sake of Shikamaru's—honestly, how did he get Ino and Temari to agree to a competition over him?—and he didn't much feel like handing his,ahem, incentive for private time, over to Kiba.
So, this had to happen tonight.
He looked around the room, searching for inspiration, ignoring the bickering going on behind him. Evidently, the karaoke battle had been all but forgotten. His eyes widened when he saw Sakura's scarf, hastily thrown to the floor at the beginning of the party.
His eyes took on a mischievous glint, as he noted the amount of thigh Sakura flashed, every time she moved just so, and the rising red on Sasuke's cheeks. He took a deep breath, and smirked. He hadn't been able to find just the right gift for Sasuke this year—after all, he'd wondered, what does one give the girl who has everything?
Perhaps this would suffice.
The girl looked up from where she was biting Sasuke's hand in an effort to make him let go of her mouth. Naruto squinted.
Was he—was that sick pervert enjoying it?
He shook his head free of the resulting deviant thoughts, and focused on the matter at hand.
"Yesterday, Sasuke told me that he couldn't understand why you were sent on those seduction missions all the time, considering he was pretty sure you didn't even know how to do a proper striptease."
Sasuke's eyes widened, and he loosened his grip on the girl beneath him on the couch.
"Naruto," he hissed menacingly, "are you insane? What the hell are you thinking? Do you want to encourage her?"
Sasuke's panic seemed to be well-founded, as Sakura's eyes had suddenly deepened to a darker green. Slowly, she extricated herself from Sasuke's now loose-hold and turned to face Naruto fully.
"Really, Naruto? Did he, really?"
Naruto nodded vigorously.
"Oh yeah, Sakura-chan. He was saying all sorts of things."
Ignoring the rude gestures Sasuke was tossing him from behind Sakura's back, Naruto made a great show of noticing the empty bottles of sake lying on their side.
"Oh, would you look at that! I'm going to get some more sake. From the liquor store. On the other side of town. Yeah, gotta go, bye."
As he made his way to the doorway, he saw Sakura advancing upon a red-faced Sasuke, teasingly lifting up the hem of her shirt. She'd looked more sober than he remembered, not that Sasuke noticed.
He was too busy being
Naruto cackled, and rubbed his hands gleefully.
"Merry Christmas, you bastard."
Heeee. Merry Christmas, Ren!