Hey guys! This is something that I hope is REALLY FUN. Both for you and Emmett and Rosalie. And Alice and Jasper. And, um Bella too.

Yep. I'm picking on Eddie again. Who wouldn't? He's just so adorable when he's mad!


Edward's POV
Bell and I were sitting in the living room, watching television, alone. Well. She was watching. I was watching her watching the tv. And how could I not? Her reactions were priceless.

I would have enjoyed a chick flick, that made her cry, but this wasn't bad either. She was watching some reruns of 'Supernatural', a show on the CW11.

And blushing at whatever crude comments Jensen Ackles character, Dean, made. Which were graphic and frequent.

Her cheeks also turned deliciously pink when he bedded another girl. Which was quite frequent also.

Is that what she liked? Crude comments and retarded pick-up lines? I doubted it. Perhaps the danger or his 'bad-boy' approach was what she found intriguing. But. Then again, she got herself into enough danger.

Or, was it that he killed supernatural creatures? I remembered an episode where they killed a vampire coven. . . .

"Cool it, Edward!" I heard Jasper's voice call down the stairs to say. "Your insecurity is doing nothing for me right now!"

Jasper's POV
I turned back to Alice, who looked like a fantasy in a short, plaid skirt, a midriff shirt that exposed her beautiful snowy stomach, and a plaid tie, the same material as her skirt.

She'd put on some blush and gone for the innocent look. All so I could live out one of my fantasies.

Well. She'd be more. . .alluring, shall we say, in a hoopskirt, but it wasn't like they sold those in the lingerie 'dress up' store.

So, back to Alice. "Professor?" she said, as I sat at my desk. I raised my eyes, attempting not to grin.

"Yes, Mary-Alice? Did you. . . need something?" I asked her, playing along, and taking the sight of her in.

"Well, Professor, you see, I've been having some trouble with my homework, so I was wondering if you could give me some lessons?" she questioned, her eyes twinkling deviously.

"Of course. What subjects did you need tutoring in?" I asked.

"Oh, well everything really. Math, Biology, Sex Education. . ."

"Well, by all means, I'll start your lessons now. You must be very behind with trouble in those subjects. Let's go find an empty classroom, shall we?" I told her, standing up.

Hmmm. I thought Edward's room was free. They were downstairs watching television, and I didn't want to ever set foot in Emmett and Rosalie's room, for fear of the bed starting to vibrate or something.

And everyone knows that nothing has ever been done in Edward's room. It was the perfect room for an innocent schoolgirl and professor to. . .christen, shall we say.

Alice led me in there, our thoughts identical.

I stood, with her in front of me, by the bed. "So. Let's start the Math first." I slowly untied the knot holding her shirt in place, unbuttoned her shirt and slid it off. And threw it aside somewhere.

"That was subtraction." I told her.

"Hmm." She feigned thoughtfulness. "I do think I like that function better than addition. Let's try some more. To make sure I get the hang of it." She whispered devilishly.

She unbuttoned my shirt, threw it aside, and kissed me.

Needless to say, we skipped Bio and went straight to Sex Ed. In Edward's bedroom. The irony could kill me.

If I weren't already dead, that is.

Edward's POV

Bella turned to me, her beautiful brown expressive eyes curious. I shrugged and she turned back to the movie.

When I mentioned we were alone, I meant in the room. Jasper and Alice were upstairs, doing something, and Emmett and Rosalie were in the garage, tinkering with one of the cars again.

I could hear vaguely the sounds of 'Animals' by Nickelback coming from the garage.

A hard rock intro, then:
'I am driving black on black, Just got my license back,
I've got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track,
I'll ask. . .'

Huh. Disgusting. His screaming didn't interest me. I turned my attention back to my love's face, where I brushed away a stray lock of hair and she continued to watch the episode.

Meanwhile. . .

Rosalie's POV
I, clad in jeans and a tank top, was underneath the hood of a car.

Big surprise, right?

I was completely in my element. I lusted four things in life:
Emmett, cars, and myself.

Hmm, I did say four, didn't I?

Oh! And family.

The stereo was on, playing Nickelback's 'Rockstar', while I was tinkering with Emmett's car. I was just giving it a check-up, giving it some more speed, and so on, while the love of my death, Emmett, leaned on my car, taking in the vision that was me.

I really couldn't blame him. He was looking at me with such love in his eyes, it was all I could do not to jump him right there.

As 'Rockstar' came to a close, he got up, came over to me and stood behind me, wrapping his large arms around my slender waist.

I shivered at his touch, and twisted my neck as he kissed it, slowly, torturously. . .

He knew I hated this. I was supposed to be the one doing the seducing. Not him.

Whenever he came at me, it was quick, true, but loving, and passionate and really, really hard.

With me, well, I liked to torture. To dangle something in front of his face, daring him to come and get it, and pulling it away from him at the last possible second.

He always got it in the end though. I'm not that mean. And I had needs too; slow seduction wasn't easy at all.

Then, Emmett's current favourite song came on. Ha. Slow seduction was out of the picture for him too.

His kisses became more insistent, and, in a few seconds, we were full on making out.

Anticipating what was coming next, and not wanting to make the hood of a car on of our places, we jumped into the back sat of the Volvo.

'I'm driving past your house, while you were sneaking out,
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run,
Your mom, don't know that you were missing,
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I've been kissing,

Screamin' no. . . .'

We were kissing, and kissing, him holding my head and the small of my back, my hands around his neck, running up and down his chiseled abs, gripping his soft curls. . .

His hands roaming, on my ass, underneath my shirt, cupping my breasts, unclasping my bra, his mouth going down on my breasts. . .

Then, when I sensed his favourite part of the song coming up, I undid his belt, and unzipped his pants, and pushed down his boxer-briefs.

'You're beside me on the seat, got your head between my knees,
And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze,
It's hard, to steer, when you're breathing in my ear, but I've got both hands on the wheel while you've got both hands on my
gifts. . . .'

I did just that, bent my head between his knees, while he held my hair back, while holding onto my shoulders so tightly like he was holding on for dear life.

I smiled, swallowed, and squeezed.

He gasped in absolute ecstacy, something that he was very familiar with, after meeting me. . .

Edward's POV
I sighed contentedly, thankful that everyone was with their mate. It was rare that Bella and I ever got alone time together in my house, just to sit, and enjoy each other's company.

Then, I remembered, I was supposed to tell Rosalie something about the tint on my windows, that it was too light. After all, I didn't want that vile Mike Newton looking in and noticing Bella and I ki-um. Talking. Yes, talking. About art.

But, I needed to go find Rosalie. So I got up, shifting Bella off of me, gently, as she looked at me questioningly.

"I have to go and find Rosalie." I told her apologetically.

"I'll come." She grinned, held my hand, and stood up.

We walked slowly.

"So. Enjoying the marathon?" she asked.

I winced. "Hardly. But I was enjoying watching you."

She blushed, exactly what I was going for.

Ha. And I was worried about her and the Hunters of Supernatural?

We finally reached the garage, and I was hearing the last sounds of 'Animals' wafting through the door:

'We were parked out by the tracks, we're sitting in the back,
And we just started getting busy when she whispered, 'What was that?'

Huh. Had to be Emmett and Rosalie. First the terrible Discovery Channel Song, then this.

My siblings really had no taste in music. Then, I grabbed for the handle of the door, when I noticed some strange sounds and heated thoughts.

Rosalie's POV

"Wait." Emmett pulled away, with a lot of effort, it looked like.

"I don't like to wait." I whispered in his ear, and pulled him back for another breathless kiss.

He reciprocated, then pulled away again, and said, "No, what was that? No one's here." He looked puzzled.

All I heard was the stereo:

'We just started getting busy when she whispered, 'what was that?'
'The wind, I think 'cuz no one else knows where we are,'
And that was when she started screamin', 'that's my dad outside the car!'

Then, I noticed a guy. Hmm. Must be Jasper. With the emotions coming out of this car, he should know not to bother us.

I dragged Emmett's head back down for another kiss.

'Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition,'
Must of fallen on the floor while we were switching our positions. . .'

Then the door was wrenched open, and I saw the outraged face of poor, pure, young, chaste Eddie.

And he was pissed.

Edward's POV

Then, I saw two murky figures glued together.

In my Volvo

Emmett and Rosalie.

Were dead.

I released my grip on Bella's hand.

And wrenched open the door.

Of my damned Volvo!

"What the hell are you two doing? First the Aston Martin, Then the freaking piano, now my Volvo? What is wrong with you two? Are you intent on desecrating everything I own with your perpetual horniness? Here I find you both, blatantly copulating in the back seat of my car! You have your own! Why the hell don't you use it?! If it's not the car, it's the wall, if it's not the wall, it's the piano! Why are you so determined to damage my innocence? And why the frick is everything you have sex on,mine? You have your own bed, you have your own cars, and if the piano turns you on that much, get your own! You don't find Alice and Jasper marking every surface with their fornication! That's it! I have had it! You will never be in the living room unchaperoned by either Bella, or myself, or in this garage with my cars without either of us! You have no respect for my property!"

A very shocked and amused Rosalie and Emmett stared back at me.

"Why Edward. I think your only problem with our fornication, as you put it, is your jealousy that you can't. Face it, Sex-Ed. You've been so repressed for so many years, that you've become a eunuch, however unknowingly. It's not your fault that Bella wasn't born when you were young. And, face it, you've had a spot of trouble finding a guy to be your butt-monkey too.
I mean, in your time, masturbation was associated with blindness, and playing the piano was a testament of virginity and purity. It's just so sad that as a vampire, we couldn't find you a good prostitute to educate you." Rosalie said calmly, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I was so angry, so outraged, that I couldn't say anything, couldn't think of any words to describe my infuriation.

"What's the matter Eddie? Repression finally catching up with you?" Emmett asked slyly.

"Don't clench your fists like that, you'll damage your piano playing hands! And God knows that's the only thing they can play." Rosalie asked, not breathing from laughter.

I turned to a very red faced Bella, and stormed out of the room.

Alice's POV
"What is it, dearest?" Jasper asked, looking up at me.

I was straddling him, with just my boy shorts on, and he only had his boxer-briefs on, my schoolgirl costume forgotten in pieces on the floor.

"Edward seems to have discovered Emmett and Rosalie in the backseat of his car. He's absolutely livid." I grinned.

"Hmm, yes, I hear him now. They should probably run. Poor Bella's probably afraid for her life right now, the state he's in. Yes, she's quite scared. And, what is that? Amusement? HmmThey'd better watch out. I would usually go downstairs, and bask in his discomfort, but, I'd much rather be doing this, so let's continue." Jasper said, in a joking voice.

And so I did. After I shed the remainder of clothes on both of our bodies.

God, that felt good.

Bella's POV

Edward had me by the hand and we were walking up the stairs to his room. I wondered where Alice and Jasper were. Usually they wouldn't have missed this. It left me wondering if perhaps, they were, errr, 'tied up' as well.

We'd been watching 'Supernatural', when Edward said he had to find Rosalie, so I went with him.

We found her, alright. Found her 'copulating', as Edward said, with Emmett. This fact wouldn't bother Edward much usually.

Except, this time, it happened to be in his car. So, naturally, he turned into the Incredible Hulk. Minus the awful green tinge, though.

I could see where he was coming from, but it was Emmett and Rosalie. What else would you expect?

Even in the broom cupboard in school. . .Jeez. Had they no shame?

But, then again, who's to say when I'm turned, I won't have more of a hunger, than a thirst, if you catch my drift?

Seriously, from all this pent up, ummmm, energy, for lack of a better word, who's to say we won't become the next 'perpetually horny' pair?

I could only hope.

I had found the situation downstairs quite comical. Edward's fury isn't funny, but the whole situation, was just. . . funny! I didn't know why.

But then again, I think it's funny when Emmett and Jasper tease Edward about being inexperienced too. His reactions are pure fury, but so priceless.

And his siblings comebacks to his rants? Hilarious and sarcastic.

I was embarrassed, sure, but no one was paying attention to me, so I'd started giggling softly.

Until Edward grabbed my hand, spun on his heel, and stormed out of the room.

Now, I had to use all my concentration to keep a straight face. In front of my livid vampire boyfriend.

Hmm, we were nearly to the door of his room now. I wondered if he was interested in breaking some boundaries to blow off some steam. . .

I certainly wouldn't object. . .

Edward's POV
This was always to be expected. Emmett and Rosalie. They had no respect for anyone's property.

No, actually, allow me to rephrase that. They had no respect for my property. And why? Because I was physically the youngest and most inexperienced with women.

So they felt the need to tease and taunt me all the time, embarrass me in front of Bella, in front of Carlisle and Esme all the time, who could do nothing but watch and laugh on some occasions.

Why? Really why do they feel the need to desecrate my property, my prized possessions, with their carnal behavior?

Why can't they do that on Jasper and Alice's bed? Or desk? Or freaking carpet?


I calmed myself down slightly, looking at Bella. She hadn't said a word. I'd probably scared her with my ranting and raving.

My Bella. Don't worry, I could never be angry at you, then I saw the barest hint of a grin on her face.

She thought this was funny? This was most certainly not funny. This was the least comical thing, ever!

Then, I wrenched open the door to my room. And got quite a shock.

It was Jasper and Alice. On my bed. On Bella, and my bed.

On our bed.

Were they crazy? What would possess them to-?! Oh God why?

Jasper paused, in all his clothes-less glory. And looked to the doorway. At me. Then Bella. And sent as many calm and most importantly peaceful waves at me as he could.

"Get out. Put on your clothes, and get out. I don't care about peace and serenity right now Jasper. Tell me, please, exactly what is so alluring about procreating on my possessions? What? Because my siblings seem to enjoy it so thouroughly. Care to shed some light on that?" I said, calmer now, because of Jasper.

Alice had the good grace to look ashamed.

"It's not that we enjoy your possessions, Edward. We enjoy the sex, plain and simple. Wherever we choose is the most plausible place for," he looked at Alice suggestively, "Our latest. . .fantasy. Or, simply the closest, most comfortable place." Jasper answered, not managing to make it sound offensive.

Which was quite a feat.

Bella looked fit to burst. From laughing. That's right. Giggles bubbled out of her slowly, then filled the whole room. Jasper, taking advantage, grabbed onto her mirth, and sent out waves to the whole room.

And then he took the chance of, at vampire speed, gathering his, and Alice's clothes, and zipping out of the room.

Which, when he left, filled once more with my rage. Big surprise.

"Bella." I said stiffly.

She looked at me, red faced and beautiful.

"I'm going to lodge a complaint." I told her seriously.

"To who? " She asked.

"To the parents. They can punish them." She looked disbelieving, but came with me to the Aston Martin. The only car not recently contaminated by my siblings.

You likie my story? Then review plz! Feedback is MY heroin! Hmm. I wonder what happens when Carlisle and Esme have a talk with Edward about his, ahem, OVERACTIVE siblings?