Disclaimer: Don't own
Well, here's a new fic, from my insane mind! This idea had been in my head for the last month and I think I'l try it out now, Hope you like it!
Urahara sat on at the table in his living room. Tessai was on a trip out of town for new supplies…..not that the shop ever needed any anyways…..and Ururu and Jinta were outside playing. The shop keeper sighed as he opened up his laptop. Absolutely nothing had been going on lately! The laptop looked pretty simple by human terms but it was anything but. The real purpose of the laptop was to show points around the world where the most spiritual pressure was. The shop keeper looked at the chart….of course the regular places popped up on the screen. Some temples, the shop, some graveyards…….then a new place suddenly appeared……It seemed to be an old Mayan temple. Urahara let out a thoughtful sound…..he really was curious as to what would suddenly make the temple's spirit pressure spike like that.
It could be a new hollow….maybe an espada? What if this was some part of Aizen's plan? The shop keeper knew that he should check it out……but he was soooo busy. Well….not really but there was no reason to put himself in danger now was there? Besides what if that was what Aizen wanted? Then the genius shop keeper got a genius idea! He'd have Ichigo do it! It wasn't like the vizard was doing anything anyway! He'd just pick up the soul reaper at school. With that idea in mind Urahara grabbed his hat and began to calmly walk towards Ichigo's school.
Ichigo Kurosaki was bored out of his mind. It had been forever since the substitute shinigami had fought anything….and well…..he was just so fucking bored! It had been a month since the teen had last fought anyone…and that had been Grimmjaw! Though you can bet you life on it that Ichigo was still bitter about his humiliating defeat at the sixth espada's hands. While Ichigo was stuck in his inner ramblings the loud speaker at school went off..
"Ichigo Kurosaki…Please come to the front desk. Your doctor is here to give you an emergency prostate exam…" The female voice on the loud speaker boomed through out the classroom. Some of the classmates snickered. What the hell!? The teenager let out a low growl as he got up and began to walk through the class. It had better not be a joke or whoever did it would regret it! In fact it better not be a joke, and whoever was down there WOULD regret teasing him in front of the whole class.
Urahara sat in the office, humming a snazzy little tune and tapping the secretary's pencil to the beat.
"Sir please stop that." The secretary nicely asked. Urahara pretended not to hear the woman and started to tap louder.
"Sir…" The lady repeated a bit louder this time. The shop keeper continued to tap the pencil with a large over exuberant grin on his face. The secretary let out a low growl. That asshole better stop now or else…….Urahara continued being blissfully ignorant of what he was unleashing.
"STOP THAT MOTHER FUCKING TAPPING!" The secretary yelled as she ripped the pencil from Urahara's hand and began to break the pencil into tiny little pieces. Urahara instantly ran scared from the room…..and guess who he bumped into?
Ichigo was furiously speed walking to the office. Out of all the things to say….A prostate exam?! It was just utterly ridiculous! The teenage shinigami turned the corner and slammed right into the terrified shop keeper who was running for his life. Ichigo growled as he looked at the shop keeper.
The second Urahara saw Ichigo the technical shinigami forgot all about the insane secretary that was chasing him and decided to go through with his plan to further humiliate Ichigo.
"Ichigo! I'm glad to see you rushed to see me! Now bend over and drop your pants!" Urahara said loudly as he snapped on a plastic glove . The teenager growled and punched the idiot shop keeper. Urahara flew across the room with blood streaming out of his nose.
"Damn pervert! Now what the hell do you want!?" Ichigo angrily seethed as he stomped over to the genius technical shinigami. Really he was too used to their antics.
"Well….yes….believe it or not I actually did have a reason for coming other than embarrassing you! There is a burst of spirit energy in Mexico, and I need you to check it out." Urahara happily explained.
"Why do I have to go it? Why don't you send someone else?" Ichigo asked as he angrily ran his hand through his hair.
"Well…all of the shinigami have gone back to soul society, Orihime is with Rukia. Ishida is training with his father, and Chad went to Mexico for the anniversary of his grandfather's death….and I just plainly don't want to bother Chad." Urahara explained as be suddenly Pushed Ichigo out of his body. Urahara then put in the pill that let Kon take over.
"I'm free!!!!" Kon yelled as he ran and hugged an innocent bystander, who just happened to be a girl.
"Bastard GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!!" the girl yelled as she began to furiously hit Kon with her backpack that was stuffed with heavy books. Ichigo let out a sigh as he punched kon off the girl, who ran away for dear life.
"Listen asshole. Don't attack any of the girls and don't use my body to jerk off….and act normal for god's sake." Ichigo growled to kon as he was soon pulled off by Urahara. The shop keeper walked down to his basement, all the way with a scowling Ichigo.
It didn't take very long for the shop keeper to open the portal so Ichigo could instantly be teleported to Mexico….
Aizen sat at his throne looking over at the giant TV screen of Ichigo Kurosaki traveling to Mexico. Aizen smirked, Now why would that shinigami be in Mexico? Perhaps a challenge from Kisuke? Well…if nothing else it would be a chance for his espadas to have some fun. Aizen had had so much fun seeing the cocky shinigami taken down by Grimmjaw. It was another chance to show how superior Aizen was to everyone else. Besides it would be a good show if nothing else.
"Grimmjaw…please come here." Aizen ordered. The tealed haired arrancar came from the back of the room. Ignoring the "ooh you're in trouble" coming from the other espada's.
"Yes, Aizen?" The sixth espada sneered without any respect.
"Grimmjaw, don't take that tone with me. Especially when I'm about to give you a special assignment." Aizen said. Confusion filled the arrancar's eyes at the mention of a special assignment.
"Sorry. Aizen-Sama" Grimmjaw said in a mock apology, not meaning one word of what he said.
"That's fine, Ichigo Kurosaki is seeking an item in Mexico…and I would like you to fight him for some entertainment." Aizen stated with a smirk on his face. Grimmjaw let out an insane smile.
"Yes, Aizen-Sama." Grimmjaw said with an insane smile as he lightly bowed and opened up the portal that would take him to his opponent. Oh yeah, this would be fun.
The substitute shinigami let out a growl as he went through yet another long passage way. He knew he would be visiting an ancient temple but honestly! How many hallways did this place have!? Ichigo turned the corner and saw a small hidden door right next to his foot. What the hell….it couldn't hurt right?
Ichigo got down on all fours and began to crawl through the secret entrance, The shinigami let out a satisfied sigh as the hidden tunnel slowly ended. Finally something was going right! The substitute shinigami looked up and saw a small statue of a naked man sitting on a giant pedestal. The shinigami sighed, why did it always have to be him?
Then a giant black portal appeared in the room. The teenager instantly went on to a fighting stance. Grimmjaw cockily stepped out of the portal.
"Hey shinigami!" The arrancar smirked as he jumped in front of Ichigo. Ichigo stepped back and quickly went into his bankai.
"What do you want Grimmjaw?" Ichigo demanded as his grip increased on his sword.
"Now, shinigami…..isn't it obvious I want to kill you!" Grimmjaw said as he lunged at Ichigo, using both of his arms to try and cut the teen. Ichigo sped around using his speed to dodge the blows. Grimmjaw let out an insane smile as he brought out his sword and swung it. The room was so small that when Ichigo put up his sword to block the attack that it got caught on the low ceiling. Grimmjaw's sword slid off the side and cut Ichigo on the cheek flinging blood everywhere, even on the statue of the naked man.
Ichigo felt the cut and did the only thing that he could and brought his sword down on Grimmjaw's shoulder splashing blood on the statue as well. Suddenly a bright light filled the room. The light was so bright that it temporarily blinded the two fighters.
"LOVE….Love….forever….and ever…..until the day you die!" A small voice began to sing in a haunting melody from the light.
"What?" Grimmjaw scoffed. This had to be some fucked up trick by Aizen.
"Now, upon the gods blessing…..and through the blood of life……and through this kiss will the two be bound forever…….and…ever….and….ever…..now kiss your love!" The voice continued to chant, slowly going more insane by the second.
Suddenly Ichigo felt something dribble down his lip, the teenager felt it and looked at his fingers. Some red liquid stained his finger tips.
"Now kiss! To secure the bonding of life!!!" The voice boomed and suddenly the two fighters were pushed together by the invisible force. The voice was really starting to freak Ichigo out. The teenager opened his mouth to protest, and to his horror found that his lips were right against Grimmjaw's, and to Ichigo repulsion he found that he didn't quite mind being in that type of situation.
The arrancar's train of thought was much like Ichigo's. The invisible force suddenly pushed him closer to the shinigami. The fact that Grimmjaw's lip had gotten cut without him knowing it was troubling enough….but then to feel you're lips pressed against your enemy was not fun. Or enjoyable….and do you know what else wasn't fun or enjoyable? Feeling and tasting the blood of your enemy mixing together with your blood. Well….actually maybe it wasn't THAT bad.
The two fighters began to furiously try to get away from each other, but the invisible force didn't pay attention and held them there a little longer before releasing. The light slowly began to fade, leaving once again the normal statue of a naked man.
"Asshole, Get the fuck off me!" Ichigo yelled as he backed up as far as the room would let him. Grimmjaw let out a growl.
"Me? Why don't you get off me! You were the one who just HAD to kiss me, couldn't resist my charm could you shinigami!?" Grimmjaw growled as he wiped some of the blood off his lip.
"Fuck off!" Ichigo said as he raised his sword again.
"Oh, please….I'm to good to be bothered with you. And be thankful that I'm feeling generous today, because next time I WILL KILL YOU." Grimmjaw threatened as he opened up the portal and slipped away. He didn't want to fight after that, who knows what would happen if he got anymore blood in the room.
"Fucker! Come back here and fight!" Ichigo yelled, though he soon calmed down and picked up the small statue. The teenager walked back to the portal Urahara had used to get him there. That statue had better be worth something or the teenager would kill that shopkeeper for causing this mess! Though the shinigami couldn't help but bring his fingers to his lips. Grimmjaw was such a bastard.
Well, hope you like it! I'm taking a vote...I can nearly hear the groans now...should I just personal message my reviewers or answer the reviews at the beginning of each chapter? Well, that's it from me! Hope you liked this chapter and if anyone had any ideas please don't hesitate to tell me!