I'm really sorry for not updating for so long – I have had SO much work. I probably shouldn't be updating now, as I have eight pieces of coursework and a Maths Mock on Monday (hahaa) but I am anyway :P
Chapters will be a lot slower now. Sorry, but when it comes to it, school is more important than fanfiction in the end. Thanks to everyone for being so patient xx
Lying on the sofa with Cissy on top of me (Yes, I know. Don't say anything) as she applies forty tonnes of crap to my already perfect face. I guess this will be a common thing in my new life here in Blondeworld. Joy.
The two good things about Azkaban, one: Dementors will not attempt to straighten your hair. The two good things about Azkaban, two: Said Dementors will not burst into tears when your hair is so uncontrollably frizzy even after having been drowned in expensive crap that's meant to make it perfect again it still breaks the straighteners.
I can't actually move my face. Not that I'm going to try, of course, because whenever I do she yanks my now-brushable hair and mutters something about 'having to start again', and I want to get this over and done with as soon as possible.
She weighs a bloody ton. Can she not tell I've been starved for fourteen years and that the last thing I need is a load of plastic, unicorn implants and maybe the tiniest bit of natural flesh left on top of me? And why is she on top of me? She's not five any more. Oh, good, she's up. No, she's now straddling me. I know we're only here because of incest, but isn't this a bit too close? Maybe her little blonde head is confused and she thinks I'm Lucius… actually, she better not. Ooh, if I ever catch her straddling him…
"Done." She grinned, then applied some more lipstick to herself and shoved it back in the bag. Then she just sat there. Straddling me. Why?
"So how much cosmetic surgery have you actually had?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and putting my hands behind my head.
She paled, putting one hand to her cheek then glancing down the front of her top. "Wh-what? I d-don't know what you're t-talking about, Bella… trix…"
"Narcissa, I grew up with you. I know for a fact that you could never ever grow tits like that." I laughed, reaching forward and flicking the top of her boob. I wish I hadn't. It was rock hard and I hurt my nail. I don't think she felt anything. Then I hardened my face, glaring at her. "So why have you meddled in Muggle plastic surgery, Narcissa?"
She laughed, flicking her hand and me. I was nearly blinded by all her bloody rings. "It wasn't Muggle, silly. They're doing it at St Mungo's now. But privately. Lucius had to pay a lot of money for these…" She was busy prodding her boobs, and I glared at them. So Lucius was the one who made her have the massive tits? I'm not surprised… "Too expensive, really. I mean, all the doctors do is look at boobs all day, then it's just a couple of unicorn skin implants and a quick Injectus Botoxium-"
"Narcissa!! Stop!" I yelled, and she shut up. At least she still remembers a few of the rules I taught her before Azkaban. "I'm not very happy with you at the moment. It's going to take a lot of making up for…"
She raised an eyebrow. "You're jealous because I have bigger boobs than you now, aren't you?"
I just glared at her. Stupid Blondie. I've been starved for over a decade. Of course my bra size is going to go down a little… or a lot. But atleast mine are natural. Stupid unicorns and their stupid skin…
She giggled, clapping, and got off me. I could finally breathe! Then a House-Elf came with food, and she grinned and walked out. Just like that. No, "I'm going to go now, unless you want me to stay, because I'll always do everything you want, being the loving baby sister I am," no, "I'm leaving now to go hang my head in shame. You were right, as usual." Not even an, "Oh, Bella, I have to leave because I know that no matter how much crap I get injected into my face I'll never be as beautiful as you…"
Ooh, Cissy remembered my favourite – cheese'n'bacon burger with all the toppings and extra chips, (don't look at me like that!! I couldn't live on what my mother fed me, no one can live on rabbit food! I had to find something else!) I love the girl sometimes. It's not her fault her boobs are faker than Andromeda's wedding ring. It's Lucius'. He probably tied her to a table and made her have it… poor thing. He's brainwashed her, it's the only answer. Poor, poor thing.
I wonder if he's had any unicorn implants? Or just a sex change? We can all tell he wants to be a girl. The long hair, the bows, the way I caught him wearing Cissy's stilettos once – he said he was 'breaking them in for her'. Pah, what kind of an excuse is that? Men don't 'break in' heels, they just break them… atleast, that's what happens when Roddy wears mine – it's obvious! They could be the first ever lesbians Mother actually approves of! Aww, I'm so proud!
This burger is so good… I'm not even complaining about how whenever I take a bite, I leave a massive red lipstick smudge on the bun. The cheese is so cheesy and the bacon is so… bacon-y…
Mm. That was good. Cissy sure knows how to cook… or order her house-elves to cook, as Narcissa never has and never will work a day in her life. It's a hard life.
I think I'll go exploring. God knows there are enough rooms in this bloody place. She probably has a different bedroom for every day of the week. Hopefully so does Lucius. I don't care if they're married. I don't care if they have a son. He is not sleeping in the same bed as her. If I catch them doing that, they'll both regret the day Mother and Abraxas Malfoy agreed that they'd be married.
How about I just avoid upstairs altogether? Yes, that's a good idea. I think I'm lost already. Cissy will probably have to come and get me, if her all her plastic doesn't weigh her down.
Ooh, this room looks full of expensive irreplaceable useless things that probably none of them are allowed to touch. I think I'll go touch something. Just to show Lucius that you don't make my baby sister get unicorn implants. No matter how sexy she looks. Hmm, this foeglass does look very, very expensive… encrusted with diamonds, I see… teehee. They won't miss it. Bugger, that smash was loud… nope, nothing. They're deaf as well as blonde.
Aah, I love trashing other people's things. Yes, I know they'll just Reparo it, but I don't care. It's fun to smash things. Plus I want to see Lucius cry again. It's funny.
Hmm. Why haven't they come running yet? I think I'll go find them. Lucius will probably be in his study, and Cissy will probably be with him, whining about how he made her get the implants.
I think this is his study. Meh, I'll try it. if it's not I'll just break some more of his stuff. It's fun to s-… OH MY GOD!! I'll be right back. I have a sister to discipline.
I don't care if they're married. He is not to have her shoved up against the bookcase. She is not to have her legs wrapped so tightly around his waist that I doubt he can breathe. He is not to have his fingers threaded through her hair extensions, pulling her head back to kiss her neck. And she is DEFINITELY not to be making those noises. Little slut. What happened to the frigid little Narcissa I liked who was scared of boys and had to hold my hand whenever one came near? I want her back. She didn't go around snogging people she's only known since she was about three. That's only, like, 37 years! That is no time to build up a relationship like that!! Lucius has let her get away with too much. She's very high-maintenance.
While Lucius was busy sucking her neck off (I wonder what it tastes like? Plastic-y, I suppose), Cissy spotted me. Her eyes widened and she kicked her legs out. "Lucius… stop…"
He looked up and saw me, then promptly dropped her on the floor on her arse. I doubt it hurt her much. I don't think plastic can hurt. Lucius then did up his shirt and walked over to behind his desk. "B-Bellatrix. You're looking better, I see. Narcissa-"
"I don't want to know what Narcissa's done, Lucius." I spat, walking over and trying to grab Cissy's hair. Most of it came out in my hand, so I settled for her arm instead. "We're going, Cissy." I said, glaring at Lucius. I started to walk off, but Cissy didn't follow. She just stood still.
"I… I'm staying here, Bella. How about you go have a rest, hmm? You've got the West bedroom." She gently prised her arm away and bent down to pick up her hair extensions, clipping them back in.
"You are not staying here, Narcissa. I don't want to leave you alone with that man." I spat, glaring at Lucius.
"That man just happens to be my husband, Bellatrix!!" Cissy glared at me. It was a pathetic glare. She obviously hasn't inherited my talent. I don't think she's inherited any of my talents… which is a shame, as I have a lot. No wonder she was stuck with Lucius.
"That gives him no right to do what he was just doing!!"
She rolled her eyes. "Just go, Bella." Fine! If she didn't want my company, then she wouldn't get it. See if I cared. But just before I slammed the door after me, I clearly heard Lucius say; "We're not going to have a sex life for the next few months, are we?" Bastard. Womanising little bastard. I should steal all his bows. I think I'll do that, actually…
Haha. He's now bowless. Let's see how he likes that when he has to go suck up to Fudge tomorrow. Revenge, Lucius. Revenge.
Crap, I'm tired. I think I might go to bed… it'd be the first time I'd sleep properly in fourteen years. In a bed. With pillows. And sheets. And a cover. And a mattress. Can you believe that? An actual bed. Okay, which one did Cissy say was mine? East one, wasn't it? Meh, I'll try that.
Humph. It turns out the East bedroom is hers…and Lucius'. I'm not going to get angry at how there were a very wide selection of bras, knickers (if you can call them that. I thought they were hair ribbons at first) and corsets on the floor. I'm not even going to mention the handcuffs and whip on the bed. Or the maid outfit. Not even the pole. As far as I'm concerned, they're not there. Never have been, never will be. End of story.
The West bedroom. Over the opposite side of the Manor to their bedroom. Which is a long, long way. Hmm. Convenient. Too convenient. It's almost as if she wants to get rid of me so Lucius can continue shoving her against bookcases and I'll be none the wiser. Some baby sister she is. Pfft. I'm starting to prefer that Mudblood-loving mother of a Half-Blooded freak to her. She probably doesn't even have sex. The Mudblood probably can't.
I can't be stuffed getting changed. Actually I can. I'm allowed to change my mind if I want to, shut up.
It's a silk nightgown. It's pink, but it's Cissy's, what do you expect? Atleast it's not a potato sack. Ohh… it's so silky… twelve pillows. Twelve. I don't care if she's a slut or not, I love Cissy. Night-night. I have a feeling I'll enjoy this night.
Two seconds later
I am in a bed. An actual bed. A bed. With pillows. And sheets. And a cover. And a mattress. And cuddly toys—wait, cuddly toys? Well they're out the window now, so no matter.
About half an hour later.
I hate this bed. It's comfy. Too comfy. It makes such a change to stone floors with a bit of dank straw that I don't think I can take it. Am I actually missing Azkaban? Bloody Hell. I am insane.
I'm sleeping on the floor. I've taken three pillows and the cover with me, but now I'm just lying on the expensive-looking white plush carpet. Ooh, I have to spill red wine on this at some point…
This is much better. Finally, I can sleep…
A bit later.
Why in the name of the Dark Lord does she have a pole in her bedroom?!?!
The next day, about 10ish.
I was woken up by Narcissa oh-so-gracefully tripping over me. It was quite funny, actually, as she smacked her head on the bedpost. She was whining for about 10 minutes, and I was laughing. Then she got under the covers with me and snuggled. I just lay there. I am Bellatrix Lestrange, I do not snuggle.
"I got a letter from Mother, you know." She said into my neck. I swear there's something wrong with her… she either thinks she's five or that I'm Lucius. I'm hoping it's the first option. I'd rather my baby sister were insane than I were mistaken for him.
"Lucky you." I said dryly, staring at the ceiling. The Malfoys don't have very interesting ceilings… but maybe that's because they're not very interesting people. My ceilings are incredibly interesting.
"She saw your escape in the paper." Cissy said, snuggling more. "She wants us to go over to Black Manor. I said yes."
I shot up straight, and she stared up at me. "You said yes?!" When she just nodded, I carried on. "Argh!! Why?"
She snorted slightly, fiddling with her hair extensions. "You don't say no to Mother, Bellatrix. Not unless you have a death wish." I opened my mouth to say something, but then I realised she was right. Eh, we all get lucky sometimes. I flopped onto the pillow. "Oh, and Bella…" Cissy said, narrowing her eyes at me, "Mother does not know about my implants, and she will not know. Understood?"
I laughed, about to threaten her with telling Mother, but Narcissa just snuggled again. How on earth did this girl ever get into Slytherin? Maybe she was scared of being in any other house. And I must admit to being fully blameable for that.
So this is how, less than 24 hours after I escaped Azkaban, I am already facing something far more terrifying than any Dementors. My mother.
Here I am, at Black Manor. God I hate this house. It scares me, to be honest. Mother's internal decorating is just as bad as Cissy's, but I think I prefer frilly pink bows to… well, nothingness. There is not a single portrait, painting, ornament, anything. It reminds me of Azkaban. And the cloak Mother's wearing reminds me very much of a Dementor…
Wow, this is bringing back memories… that's the cupboard I always used to be locked in… and over there she kept the canes… oh no, keeps the canes… I think Daddy threw me out that window there, nice man. He and Mother were perfectly suited.
She and Cissy are currently engaged in a gripping conversation about the prices of decent house elves now. "Gone up twelve percent, you say, Narcissa?" "Oh, yes, Mother. And they're getting very shabby, Lucius and I are struggling to find a decent one…" Ugh, I'm bored. Why did I have to come? Oh yeah, because Mother told me to, and I'd rather not die the day after I escape Azkaban. She hasn't noticed me yet-…
Crap. I spoke too soon. "Ah, Bellatrix… I see you are yet again burdening your sister with your presence. I do insist you grow up and learn to look after yourself…" Blahdeblahdeblah. She's talking nonsense. I can just ignore her now. I've learnt to block it out. It's a skill you need around my mother. I think she's still ranting. She could talk for ever, if no one stopped her. So that's where Cissy gets it… "Answer me, you impudent little brat!"
I blinked at her, then glared. "Well, Mother, seeing as my house is currently possessed by the Ministry and the only way I could get it back was to walk in there and sit through a court case about it, which I cannot do due to the six hundred thousand galleon price on my head, I'd say my only choice is to stay with Blondie. And it wasn't my choice anyway, it was hers."
Mother looked shocked (as did Cissy when she heard the amount of money I was worth). "I only asked you if you had seen Rodolphus since your escape, Bellatrix."
"O-oh, well… err… he's at the greasy bast-… err, Snape's. So, ah, not since yesterday…" I just made an idiot of myself. Cissy's got that smug little Malfoy grin on her face that I so desperately want to slap off, but seeing as she's still Mother's little angel that wouldn't be wise. I so want to scream out all the secrets Cissy's been keeping from her out, but I think I'll keep them for blackmail. It'd be nice to have a hold over her again. Do you think I could trick her into giving me her pocket money like I used to? Or maybe just the key to her Gringotts account…? She's blonde, it might work…
We're back at Malfoy Manor now. Mother seemed to take offence when I asked her if I could go and dance on Father's grave. Old bat. She never loved him anyway. She's physically unable to love anyone. People with no hearts can't love. I should know. But I'm glad we're out, I never want to go back there again.
Cissy's not very happy with me. I'm following her round everywhere she goes, just in case she decides to go screw Lucius behind my back. I find it funny that forty years ago, she was the one following me around while I wanted to go screw Roddy. How times change…
God, she spends a long time staring at herself in the mirror. She's become even vainer than she was as a child, if that's even possible. I blame Lucius; he's let her go out of control. She's very high maintenance.
Okay, so a few things – I am not Blondist or whatever it is. Id quite like to be blonde. But I always see Bella as being the kind of sister who takes the piss, so I guess she would. No offence to any blondes.
Two, this will be the last chapter up for a while. I'm really sorry. But yeah, you know... GCSEs O.O
Thanks, bye xxxx