A/N: A big thank you to all the people who took the time to review this before it was all the way done:D You guys really rock, and are in all ways awesome!! And now for the...

overly long, irrelevant, and incongruous

Epilogue:

Harry ended up deciding that it was an opportune time to push Draco against the wall and snog him senseless a total of 17 times before they reached their destination. (This is not counting the number of times that Draco seemed to have reached the same conclusion.) The place Draco had been taking Harry in such a hurry turned out to be Draco's Secret Slytherin Love Nest, which you should assume was well-appointed in every way. Once there (though possibly somewhat before? I mean, they were impatient and hormonally-charged), both of them wasted no time in getting all the way naked, and had sex like bunnies until dawn, even though it had only been like 7:00 pm when they left the library. They both had gorgeous bodies and were muscular and tan and all that, so you should just assume the sex was awesome and very very hot. (Although you should not assume either of them had chest hair; that is just nasty and not attractive. And I get to say so because I'm the author.)

Hermione had actually been watching them from behind a bookshelf for the majority of the time that they were snogging in the library, but had only made her presence known when she felt they were in danger of breaking more than one school rules. She really wished they had both managed to get shirtless before then, but then you take what you can get. She eventually gave up trying to change Ron into the perfect man for her, and they all got along much better after that (as friends! Much fewer arguments, etc.) She eventually found, to her never-ending delight, a man in Wizard University who courted her in pretty much the exact same way Draco had done Harry, although she didn't take nearly as long to figure things out and get to the 'push him against the wall and snog him senseless' stage as Harry had.

Snape disowned Draco as a godson when he realized that he had unwittingly helped him get together with Harry Potter. Soon after, he found to his horror that, in blatant disregard of his disownment decision, Narcissa still insisted on sending him angry letters whenever he mistreated Draco even the slightest bit. Or Harry, for that matter – she took her son's welfare very seriously, and Draco seemed to have convinced her that his boyfriend's mental health was crucial to his own. As a result, Snape temporarily resigned from his post at Hogwarts, and only came back after both Harry and Draco had long since left. No one knows what he did while he was away. (Probably something illegal. Or too boring to bother looking into. Or something totally nasty that some fanfic author somewhere has doubtless already dreamed up. Or something.)

Ron eventually got over being angry at Harry for "shagging the enemy," as he put it, and their friendship didn't suffer for it in the end. He still refused to be in the same room as Draco, however, and never quite seemed to believe Harry when he said that their plan to beat Malfoy into a pulp was definitely off. He went on to become Keeper for the Chudley Cannons, but was ironically injured the day before he was to be traded to a better team. After he failed to recover fully from this injury, (which both Harry and Hermione thought was something that should have happened years ago, given his attitude toward bludgers and the laws of probability), he took a job in the Magical Games and Sports department, seemingly unable to conceive of a career that did not involve Quidditch on some major level.

Harry and Draco were much more careful after that night, and while no one ever caught them doing anything in public again, their half-dressed flight from the library became the stuff of Hogwarts legend. They never could find the Chinese Room again, although they tried on several occasions, and Harry maintained that only Snape knew its location, and that he routinely used it to get rid of students he didn't like, by boring them to death. After they left Hogwarts, Harry and Draco lived happily together forever and ever, with only the occasional fight over dress robes or the obligatory visit to Malfoy Manor or the Burrow to ruin their conjugal bliss. For some reason, their respective families could never fathom how on earth the two of them got along as well as they did. Honestly, neither could Harry, when he thought about it. Which is why it was always better not to think about one's feelings.

FOR REAL THE END THIS TIME YAY.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So now you know everything. And just so you know, I always appreciate getting reviews. Even from stories that I wrote months and months ago. I mean, I'm just saying...And yes, it was a weird story, so you can feel free to say whatever you really thought of it!