Just a little something I wanted to
The fight with the newborns hasn't happened yet. It will, but I will not go in to a lot of details about it.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all except for the Stones.Crimson
"Mmm." Edward moaned, rubbing his nose gently up and down my jaw line. We were lying in my bed, Charlie was sleeping. He hadn't really acknowledged me lately, he was hideously disappointed when Edward and I told him we were to be married. I looked at the ring on my finger, Edwards mother's ring, and sighed.
"Edward." I said quietly.
"Yes?" He asked, pressing his lips to my neck. He kissed my throat and I winced. He pulled away, "What is it?"
"Edward, I would really appreciate it if you didn't… do that to me when I am trying to have a serious conversation with you." I said, my eyes closed. When I opened them again, he was sitting up straight, Indian style, looking at me.
"I'm all yours." He said evenly.
I hesitated, and then took his cold, stone hard hand in mine. "I think—I think that maybe we should put the wedding on hold." I say slowly, watching his face. His eyes never wavered and he masked his face expertly.
"Bella, where is this leading?" He asked finally, his voice quiet. I immediately felt horrible for where I was going with this conversation.
"I… I need to figure some things out." I said, dropping my eyes. I looked out the window, I didn't need to be able to read minds like Edward to know what he was thinking.
"Figure out what, Bella?" He asked, though I know he knew what was coming. I squeezed his hand and looked at him again. "Look, if you need more time, love, we can wait, I don't mind. Or if you don't want it to be big, I'll talk to Alice. Bella, we could go to Vegas-"
"Edward." I said, stopping him. "I need to figure things out with Jake." I said. He stared at me, his face unshielded for only a moment, but I could see the pain flash through his eyes. I instantly regretted it. Everything. I shouldn't have said anything. A single tear ran down my face as I stared into his liquid topaz eyes. His cold hand wiped the tear away and I bit my lip.
"Bella, aren't I enough for you? Am I not good enough?"
"Oh, Edward! No, don't say that! Of course you are! You are way more than I deserve!" I said, horrified by how I made him think. "And that's partly why I need to think." I said, my voice growing quiet. "I don't know what you see in me, Edward. I'm just an average girl, contrary to what you might like to think. I love you, Edward, with all my heart I love you. You are everything to me, but it's hard for me."
Edward was silent, and I sat there, my eyes closed tight and my free arm wrapped around my knees. After five silent minutes, the longest five minutes of my life, I broke down sobbing. Edward was taken aback.
"Edward, oh, Edward!" I said. "You must think I'm a horrible person! I can't believe I said that! Edward forgive me." I pleaded. His arms were instantly around me, pulling me to his lap.
"Bella, I would never think you are a horrible person. Never. I'll wait for you, love, I will. You go figure things out with Jacob, and I'll be here. I'll wait forever." I could hear him smile softly.
"Oh, Edward I don't deserve this!" I said, closing my eyes. He laid me down on the bed beside him with his arms still wrapped around me.
"Go to sleep, Bella." He hushed.
"No." I said stubbornly.
"I'll still be here in the morning, sweetheart. You don't have to worry about that." And then he started to hum a lullaby. My lullaby.