Taylor sat at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal she fixed for herself, she wasn't normally up before her mom seeing how her mom was like some robot, going to bed so late and sometimes even in the wee hours of the morning and than getting up thirty minutes to an hour to get her daughter up but last night Taylor couldn't find a comfortable place in her bed, her brain wouldn't shut down she just kept thinking of everything that was said between them. It was the biggest fight they'd had so far in the sixteen years she was alive.
"Your up early," Ashley stated a bit on the weary side unsure on how today was going to go, neither had any real experience with a blow up like last night. All she got was an early morning grunt as Taylor stood to dump her bowl in the sink, she rinsed it out than placed it in the sink before stalking past her mom, Ashley grabbed her daughter's arms, "Please don't be silent!"
Taylor stood still, not like she had much of a choice her mom was sometimes like superwoman or whatever and could do a lot to keep her from escaping, "I'm not," she said yanking her hand away and walking into the bathroom for a quick shower.
Ashley wanted to barge in and yell, get Taylor pissed so they would duke it out or whatever needed to be down to get back to what they were both used to but than she realized that it will never be the same again because both of them are used to just each other no others, not Aiden whose an asshole, not Raife who was locked in an old person home cause Ashley couldn't take care of him, not her mother who was dead but now there was Spencer and Ashley can't give her up and in her mind probably couldn't live with giving her up.
"Hello?" she answered the phone as she made her way to her room so she could change out of her pajamas.
"Hey baby how are you?" Spencer purred on the other side making a grin spread across the brunette's lips and if asked the blonde would have said she was wearing a matching one.
"Spence, I love you,"
"Oh bad mood," Spencer giggled
"Spence?" the woman heard the pleading in the older woman's voice and immediately became serious.
"I love you too Ash, what's wrong?" the worried tone made Ashley feel better as she dropped her pajama bottoms and changed into some jeans.
"Taylor knows..." the words caught in her throat as she sat down unable to stay standing any longer.
"Taylor knows what sweetie?" Spencer was unsure where this conversation was going although she had a pretty good idea.
"Us...she knows about us,"
"And?" Spencer prodded for more information; she wanted to know what she'd be walking into today, a hug or a war.
"And...and she hates me, she thinks I sent her to be with her father so I could get a love life because she's in the way," tears spilled down her cheeks clouding her vision as she constantly wiped them away but it was useless to many started falling, her chest heaving as the panic set in, "she hates me!" she wailed into the phone breaking down that much more at the thought of her only daughter, the only person to stand by everything she'd ever thought or tried hated her, could barely look or talk to her anymore.
"Ashley honey, shhh, calm down you're going to hyperventilate," Spencer cooed holding the phone that much closer to her ear, sitting in bed with the sheet wrapped around her legs wishing she'd stayed yesterday instead of walking out, "She doesn't hate you,"
"Yes...she does," the brunette cried laying down on her bed, getting dressed forgotten.
"No she doesn't, she's a teenager Ash they always hate their parents eventually," she tried to lighten the mood but the brunette was having none of it.
"But we're not like other mother/daughter relationships, we talk about everything, if one of is upset we sit down and try and work it out, she won't even look at me,"
Spencer didn't know what to do from her house, she had no way of wrapping Ashley in her arms and telling her things will work out her words barely made it though to the hysterical woman, "Look Ash I can't say what kind of relationship you two have but you have to calm down, okay, get dressed and than I will meet you two at the office just like we're suppose to but we'll talk than okay, Taylor can wait in the office and it'll just be me and you,"
"But that's the thing it'll never be just me and you Spence I have a daughter and she means everything...everything to me,"
"Look Ash," Spencer said as the words echoed back into her ear piece, the situation wearing down on her already, "Your upset and I get that you have a daughter and if this thing between us is ever going to work than Taylor needs to be okay..."
"...that's the thing Spencer, I don't care if Taylor is okay with it, I love you and she won't stop that but than I feel guilty because I've disapproved of at least two guys she's dated and each time she dumped them because I didn't like them and hear I' am unwilling to do the same for her," before Spencer could say anything else Ashley said she loved her and would see her soon than hung up and finished getting ready for the day.
Taylor paced back and forth in her room as her cell phone was pressed against her ear, "...and she had the nerve to tell me that my opinion doesn't matter!"
"It doesn't sound like she said that," Bradley sighed as he shifted in his car as he drove to work, "sounds like she really likes this woman,"
"Okay stop right there you're my friend, stop trying to defend her,"
"I'm not," Bradley knew Taylor had panic attacks with a side of unreasonableness which was usually the only flaw the girl had to him at least.
"You are, I've dumped guys that I really liked for her because she didn't like them but she won't do that for me, why?" Taylor stopped pacing as her breaths became shallower and shallower; her chest feeling like it was going to cave in any moment.
"Breath Tay!" Bradley felt like screaming but held back, the panic attacks scared him silly, he's seen her get so bad that she ends up passing out and sometimes ended up in the hospital for not breathing even after that or hitting her head cause she was standing and just went down.
"I can't...stand...this," she gasped holding the phone so hard her knuckles turning white, "I...hate...Spencer she's...taking...her...away," but all she was met with a dial tone which made her even more angry, at her self, at her mom and at Spencer, she was pissed at the whole situation but didn't know why.
"Taylor!" Ashley screamed running from her room and dashing into her daughter's room to find the girl hunched over with a blue tint to her lips and cheeks, "Damn it...breath," Ashley growled sliding in front of the wheezing teenager who shook her head telling her mom that she couldn't get it under control, Ashley stood and quickly sat behind her daughter with her back against the wall, pulling Taylor in she held the girl against her chest to help the teenager feel the rise and fall of her own chest, Ashley placed her hand on her daughter's chest rubbing tiny circles.
Taylor clutched her fingers on to her mother's pants, bunching them up as her body rose and fell trying to gain some kind of air, minutes passed as her stiff body began to relax and she could breath again, her whole body slumped down and melted further into her mother's body which held on tightly, "How?" she asked after a licking her lips.
"Bradley called my cell," Ashley whispered in her ear. She loved that boy like a son and even saw the way they looked at each other but Taylor never seemed to go for him and he always seemed to nervous to go for it as well, when ever something was wrong that Taylor couldn't tell her, she told Bradley and the brave boy would call her most of the time it was during the panic attacks which had Ashley rushing from where ever she worked that year or month to where Taylor was, one day Ashley was afraid she wouldn't be there at all and Taylor may not breath again, it was one of her worst fears and she prayed every night it wouldn't come true.
"I'll...kill him," her voice was far away and scratchy as she was still trying to get things under control.
"At least your alive to kill him," Ashley chuckled, her daughter really did take after her too much sometimes, Taylor rolled her eyes and pulled away, as she stood she swayed a bit due to lack of oxygen for a while but steadied her self.
"Well I'm fine now so can we go?" she wondered picking up her back pack.
Ashley usually never let Tay get away with as much as she'd been doing since last night, she'd make the girl talk but something inside her snapped last night and she didn't feel like she had the strength to fight any more so she just nodded and the two headed toward CF Records.
Spencer sat in the office bouncing her leg up and down, she was nervous to be in the same room as Taylor now that the teenager knew about her and her mother being intimate together, Ashley didn't put her mind at ease at all even with the hushed 'I love you' at the end of the phone call.
"I told you Spence," Arthur tossed a squishy ball in the air sitting on the edge of the table.
"Dad," she groaned not wanting to hear the lecture yet again.
"Well I did sweetheart, Taylor is important and I told you to get Ashley to tell her but no, you guys kept it hidden,"
"She didn't want to tell her, what was I suppose to do?" she shot back a bit angry that her father thought she was irresponsible even though she tried several times to bring up telling Taylor sooner rather than later.
"I don't know but how would you react if I dated your step mom right after divorcing your mother?"
"Bad I know but she's been divorced from him for years not just a month," she sighed shifting in her seat uncomfortable about talking to her father about these kinds of things reserved more for her mother and herself.
"So...I'm talking about dating Bella for a month and than coming to tell you about it, about us planning on getting married,"
"But we aren't planning on marrying so soon dad," Spencer began pacing now as she pushed her chair back, Arthur smiled placing his hands on her shoulders keeping her in place.
"Calm down I know your not just remember Spencer that if you love her like you say you do than Taylor won't get in the way but she is a deciding factor," she nodded and he kissed her on the forehead.
"Sorry to disturb you but the Davies' are here," the secretary smiled shyly as she could see she'd interrupted a father/daughter moment.
"Thank you send them in," he nodded, "You good to go honey," she nodded and thanked her dad who left.
Ashley and Taylor entered as he closed the other door, she was unsure if she should hug Ashley or kiss her with the teenager in the room but the brunette decided for her by rushing forward and capturing her lips, Taylor huffed and sat down in the chair slouching down and averting her upset eyes.
"I missed you," Ashley whispered against the shell of her ear causing a deep shiver to run through the blonde's body making the older woman smirk, "Seems you missed me to," a sigh escaped hr mouth as she kissed the nape of her neck.
"You know I did," Spencer breathed in her girlfriend's scent.
"Can we work?" Taylor growled not liking their interaction at all, hushed tones and gentle touches.
"Tay," Ashley reprimanded a little too kindly for Spencer's liking but would say something later, "You said we'd talk," she reminded her.
"Yes, can you wait outside I'd like to talk to Taylor for a quick second?" Spencer pouted as she saw the indecision cross the brown eyes she'd come to love looking at for hours.
"Fine," Ashley relented before giving her daughter a 'be nice' glare and walking out.
Spencer turned around and saw Taylor sit up a bit, "I want a new manager," she shot out quickly.
"Well that isn't going to happen," she answered walking to the edge of the table sitting on it like her father had done minutes before, "I get you are upset about all of this..."
"...don't pretend you know anything about how I feel right now,"
"Fine I won't," Spencer interrupted, "But your mother was in tears this morning,"
"Don't talk to me about my mother understand, you are my manager that's it I don't want to hear anything about your relationship because as far as I'm concerned there isn't one," she growled and Spencer was taken back some at seeing the pissed off look on the younger girl's face a total change from their first encounter where she was shy and quiet.
"So that's how it's going to be?" Spencer wondered out loud.
"Yep," Taylor breathed out putting her feet on the desk and leaning back, folding her arms to come off as indifferent even if both females knew she was anything but, "I don't want you in my life!"
Spencer grabbed Taylor's feet and pushed back and with the girl already leaning to far back well she lost her balance and quickly fell to the ground, Spencer leaned over so she was hovering above the stunned teenager, "You may want me out but it's going to take a hell of a lot more than some upset teen to get me to leave your mother, I love her whether you believe it or not and she loves me got it!"
Just as Spencer stood up Ashley came through the doors, "What's going on I heard a crash?" she glanced between the blonde standing than to her daughter who was starting to stand up.
Taylor opened her mouth, "She was leaning to far back in her chair,"
"Tay how many times have I told you not to do that it's dangerous?" Ashley folded her arms and glared, now Spencer knew where Taylor got it from but it was definitely scarier coming from the older brunette.
"...I don't want to hear it okay just can we do this already?" Ashley sighed cutting her daughter off.
Taylor furrowed her brows and saw a satisfied smirk cross Spencer's features, "You know you two did great talking about my future with out me for the past month so continue," she yelled running out of the office and down into the car hanger. She pulled her cell phone out and still being mad at Bradley put a damper on most people she could call so she dialed the one person she promised her self never to call, turns out they were only three minutes away. The car pulled in just as Ashley ran into the car port.
"Taylor!" she screamed out but her daughter just glanced at her with unshed tears and jumped in the vehicle.
Madison smirked at Ashley before driving off with the woman's daughter.