Well, drunk brothers can be pretty fun. And when you mix Winchesters and silly drunk one shot, this is what ya get…
The Winchester brothers sat in a dingy motel room, Dean completely sober as he waited for the demon who had been hitting this town. The demon though, had to be a pain in the ass and could only kill THE MOST drunk man…which was currently Sam…
"Weeeee! Dean! Dean! Deeeeeaaaaannnnnnnnnna!" Sam yells loudly as he spins on a wheely chair, Dean wants to smack him right there.
"Shut up Sam, I'm trying to concentrate here, now zip it and be bait!"
Dean clenches his jaw tightly and loads another bullet into his gun.
"Stupid demon that can only prey on the drunk…" He grumbles as Sam starts singing country.
"Dear God, kill me now."
"Dean! Your name is weird… Dean. I think of James Dean, but that was his last name." Sam starts laughing really hard at that.
"Dude, what was your drink of choice? I've never seen you this out of it." Dean sits down.
"Yeagerrrrrr…Ick! Taste like gasoline ya know…" His eyes are glazed and unfocused as he gasps.
"Dean, the Impala and I have something in common now! Does that mean you will call me baby?"
Sam frowns and tears start to come to his eyes.
"You don't love me Dean…I can't feel my face Dean…"
"I love ya Sammy, I'm sorry you can't feel you face but that's the price you pay for pickin' the short straw."
Sam starts smacking his face with and yelling like an idiot.
"Iiiiiiiiii Cannnnn'ttttt feeeeeeelllll myyyyy facceeeeee…"
Dean rolls his eyes and flips the TV on, when was this frickin' demon gonna show?
"Dean, gimme your phone." Sam slurs as he spins the chair again.
"Cause their ain't nobody your gonna drunk call."
"True, I would just wanna call you bro…Brother? Brotherin?"
"Sammy, no more Yeager."
"Psh! Bossy bitch! Ha! They both have Bs!"
Sam falls out of the chair.
"Deannnn! The world is spinning…spinning….Make it stop." Sam is flailing his arms and yelling madly.
Dean slides a glance over and finds his brother crawling to him on all fours.
"Sam, what the hell are you doing?"
"Can't get up, this is easier, we should walk like this all the time!"
"Sam, stop yelling."
Sam makes a funny face and holds up his index finger to his lips and whispers loudly.
"Is this ok Dean? Dean?D…Dean, is this ok?"
"Yeah, but how bout you just stop talking all together, ok?"
Deans lip twitches a slight snarl in annoyance. Stupid pick the straw, he hated bein' sober…He notices Sam has crawled up beside him and wrapped him arms around his legs.
"Sam, what the hell are ya doin' now?!"
"Oh Dean, i'm just making sure you don't leave me."
Sams bottom lip quivers.
"Y…You always gotta make fun of my size, don't you think I know that I'm large. Geez, you got no respect Dean. I hope the demon eats you!"
Sam has returned to yelling, he releases Dean and crosses his arms.
"Oh Sammy boy, don't get your panties in a bunch."
"I wear boxers! Oh, they're Scooby doo today, wanna see 'em?!" Sams happy again and attempts to stand and take off his pants to show Dean his Scooby boxers.
"No Sam, I don't want to see your Scooby boxers, I believe you.
Sam is cut off as a demon slams through the door, funny how it looks like a drunk man.
"Shoot it Dean! Dean shoot it! Nooooo! Don't get kicked in the face! Yeah! Punch 'imm!! Owww, take that ya stupid demon!"
Dean shoots the thing and it melts away into nothing, Dean turns to his brother who is on the floor stuck in his shirt as he tries to pull it off.
"Sam, why you takin' your shirt off?"
"Cause I want to, and you can't make me do otherwise almighty demon shooter!"
Dean sighs and rolls his eyes, Sam finally tugs his shirt off and whips it at Dean. Dean grins and goes to the bag, he finds one thing of Yeager completely empty. He cringes at the thought of Sam tomorrow, shrugging he takes out the other one that is completely full.
"Well Sam, I best be catchin' up huh?"
Sam looks up with a goofy grin and glazed eyes, he nods that causes his whole body to move. Dean winks and tips it back…
Four Hours Later
"Why you gotta go and make things so complicated! I just…just can't see why you…nah nah nah nah nah nah…you fall and you…..crawl! And you just can't make it…NO! NO! NO!"
The two brothers sat singing Avril, horribly.
Dean takes another swig of liquor and makes a face.
Sam gasps and his jaw falls open.
"Nu-uh! You suck!"
"You suck cause your tall with long hair…and a dark mysterious look."
"I am…aren't I shorty?"
"I..I am not short! I…I'm average. Awww man, I HATE bein' average. Stupid average height, average hair, average frickin' eyes…" Dean slurs his words together.
"Aww, your not average Dean. You hunt evil…I mean how average is that in every household?"
"True, I am pretty kick ass huh?"
Sam nods with closed eyes, his whole world spinning.
"Yaaa know Dean…I bet, I bet…What was I saying?'
"Oh yeah! I bet if you weren't a hunter, and if you grew up normal, you'd be like an actor or somethin'!"
"Actors are lamemmmmeeeeee.
"Psh, whatever! You'd be an actor! Come onnnn! Admit it, I mean you'd have tons of girls and parties, it'dd sooooooooo be you Dean!" Sam flops on his back and starts attempting to take off his socks.
"You'd be somethin' boring Sammy."
Sam whips a sock at him.
"Soooo, what is wrong wit dat?!"
"Nothin…besides, the, the fact that it's Boring!"
"Oh well…me sleepy."
Sams world spins as he falls on the floor and crawls into the other bed with no shirt, boxers and one sock. Dean gets on the bed with jeans, no shirt, one shoed foot and one barefoot. Sam lays with his back to Dean and Dean sprawls out on the tiny twin…
The Next Morning
Morning comes spreading light into the room. Sam and Dean are on the small twin bed with Sams feet falling off the end and Deans rear half way off the side. They are facing one another, tightly wrapped in each others arms…
Sams head is pounding.
"Wow, so never again am I being drunk bait." He thinks, but that hurts.
His arms are wrapped around someone, who is wearing no shirt and is rather large for a woman. He panics.
"I don't think Dean let me go out…"
He opens one eye, only everything is blurry and damn does that sunlight hurts like hell.
He opens the other and blinks a few times. He sees two green eyes and a lightly freckled face…
Dean feels no pain. Ok, well maybe just a little this time. What tall chick had he picked up last night, he didn't remember going out? SO who was he holding…
His eyes snap open, a mere inch from his nose are two hazel eyes.
"Well hey, they look familiar…Oh, right. Shit!"
Both the brothers scramble out of bed, cough and walk away like nothing happened.