Later that day...

Ponyboy walked into his and Soda's room and plopped himself on his side. His head was pounding like a mother fu-

"Hey Ponyboy." Pony turned his head and saw Soda walk in. He must have had a long day at work, cause looked he tired and sweaty.

"Hey." Pony went back to his own thoughts until his brother caught his eyes as he undressed out of his work clothes.

Just one look at Soda and Pony felt like he was hypnotized. He felt weird all of a sudden, it was unexplainable. He hadn't felt this way in a long time though he knew he felt it before...but where?! Pony never noticed Soda like this before, like in the way a typical greaser would stare at a girl with a big chest or something. Kinda like the way Soda looks amazing with no shirt on...Ponyboy couldn't put his finger on it on where he felt this incredulous feelings before. Then it took him a few moments to finally realize.

He had this exact feeling when he was in love with Johnny.

Now, Ponyboy felt sick. In both ways. He was a disgusting faggot perv, and the fact he was in love with his brother. He couldn't feel more ashamed. Though, he felt the same way when he was in love with Johnny, sickly. However, they ended up together with Johnny feeeling the same way as Pony had felt for him. But then again, look where that eneded up. Johnny six feet under the ground. Ponyboy sighed sadly.

"...and the old man just yelled at me and left. You think a bag of chips for a 1.25 is that horrible!?" Soda said with a grin.


"You didn't hear a word I just said eh? Something wrong Pony?" Soda walked over to Ponyboy and Pony quickly got up from the bed and moved away.

"N-no nothings w-wrong, but ummm im gunna s-sleep on t-t-the couch tonight ok?" Pony stammered on his words grabbing his pillow and sheet.

"What? why?" Soda asked with a hint of worriness in his voice.

"I have reasons ok? Just see you tomorrow morning I guess. Night." Pony quickly walked, or ran, out of the room and into the living room where he took the big couch to sleep on, leaving a confused yet upset Sodapop abandoned.

The door of the brothers room was still open a bit.

"FOR PETE'S SAKE SODAPOP PUT A SHIRT ON! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR HALF-NAKEDNESS!" Ponyboy shouted and went straight to sleep keeping his mind of Soda.

Soda raised one of his eye-brows. A trick he can do so well. "I swear teenagers and their hormones makes them acts so darn wacky." Soda said to himself, though he knew he shouldn't be one to talk.

"I HEARD THAT!" Ponyboy shouted across the room. Sodapop wanted to laugh but couldn't really. He was going to sleep. Alone. And boy did he wished to hold Ponyboy so close tonight. It's what he looks forward to after a long day of work.

Next morning...

Darry walked into the kitchen for a cup of hot coffee, as usual. He felt grouchy and tired and he hated how he has to get to work so damn early and come home late. That's barley enough time to make dinner when it was his turn, and organizing the bills and paying for them, etc. Making an effort to finish roofing house, really dont pay off in the end. He still makes a minimum wage and always gets no as an answer to getting a raise. His boss can be a bastard at times.

Darry walked into the living room

"Ponyboy? What are you doing in the living room? I didn't know yo-" Darry was cut off short.

"That's what I wanted to know, Darry. He claimed he had reasons but didn't want to say anything..."

"Shutup." Pony said harshly. Soda's face twisted into hurt.

"Look, we can deal with this later? Ponyboy go get ready for school and Soda you too for work."

"I dont feel like going to school Darry..."

"Too bad Pony! You've been out of school for a long while now. Vacation is over! Now go get ready!" Darry shouted with a hint of irration in his voice.

Ponyboy sighed and stormed off in to the bathroom slamming the door. Sodapop sighed and muttered something Darry couldnt comprehend and walked into his room.

Darry sighed also. Another unsual morning in the Curtis house. What else is not new?

Sodapop's POV

I walked into my room and plopped myself on my side of the bed. I rubbed my chest. It was bothering me something awful, as if filled with heart-ache. It probably was...Ponyboy didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me like we did every night...ever since the first night dealing with our folks gone. I dont know if I did something or said something wrong that made him want to be so distant from me. Maybe he is on to me...maybe he knows I love him more than a brother. Aw man. I hate it when I think messes me up. Now, I have to worry about Ponyboy feeling weird around me and hating me. I just hope im wrong...I hope Darry doesn't find out about this. What if Pony tells Darry? Oh crap I will be-


"ALRIGHT DARRY DAMN!" I shouted. I got up and changed out of my clothes into my working clothes. It's going to be a pitiful day - I can feel it.

Ponyboy's POV

I sat in class in silence. I never to listen to teachers anyway these days. What's the point of coming to school? Jesus I wish Darry would just see that I don't need school. I don't need an education. I don't need anything. I'll just stay home everyday, watch TV, and let my life pass by, and be a dumb greaser for the rest of my life. I don't mind... not completely.

Who am I kidding. I can't stay in that hell pit forever. It's not what I really want.

It's not what Johnny would've wanted.

I sighed.


I hear the bell ring and quickly grabbed my stuff and dashed out of the room. I went to the side doors in the hallway and made sure no one was looking. I snuck out of the school and ran like hell. I just kept running...and running and running. I didn't know where I was going. I was just letting my feet lead the way...if that makes sense.

But then I ended up in a place I never thought I would go back to ever again.

The cemetery. Where Johnny and Dallas are...


I looked around. Quiet and deserted. Kind of the way I liked it. I went over to Dally's grave first. I see 2 red dead roses and a small picture of the gang when I was 11, Darry was 17, Soda was 13 going on 14, Johnny was 13, Steve and Dally were 17, and Two-Bit was 15. Around then, me and Johnny weren't as close. We would talk a few sentences and then act like we never met. We grew out of that eventually, but that day was kind of special. The first day I ever saw a true smile on Johnnycake. My mom was taking the picture and, well, I guess, it was a good day for her too. To see a little boy look so beat up, but with a face so lit up and joyful because of a sentence I said.


Ponyboy's POV

"Dang Steve quit botherin' Pony!" Soda hollered. Steve of coursed ignored him.

"Mommy! MOM! Steve keeps botherin' me!!" I yelled angrily.

"Oh you boys better stop or no one will get chocolate cake with chocolate milk for lunch! Darrel help me separate Steven and Ponyboy please! and Sodapop, honey, calm down will ya?" My mother laughed. I miss her warm soul around home.

"Ahh you whiny little baby!" Steve said over his shoulder.

"Leave my baby brother alone Steve! I want me some cake!" Sodapop wrapped his arm around me and smiled down at me. I just stuck my tongue at him.

"OK boys huddle together into one big group and smile for me!" My Mom sounded so excited. It was on a few pictures. I guess happiness makes me feel nauseated.

"You too Johnny, you can be in the picture too, son." My father gently said to him.

Johnny just muttered an OK and stood 4 footsteps away from me. I smiled at his innocence.

"C'mon Johnny a little bit closer. Get real close to Ponyboy!" My mom said. Johnny just stood still quietly.

"Don't be shy Johnnycake! It's not like your ugly!" Sodapop said. Dally punched Soda in the gut and told him to shut up or else. Not that hard though.

I wrapped my arm around Johnny and said, " C'mon Johnny, I want to take a picture with my best-est friend ever!" I said with courage. I was just saying it to make him feel good.

"Huh?" Johnny said. He looked at me as if he was about to cry. "Yeah Johnnycake, you're my best friend!" I said smiling.

I wasn't his best friend friend since we didn't talk much. But I wanted to be is best friend. Us greasers have to stick together. Besides, he was better than Two-Bit and Steve who hits on girls all the time and want to drink and have beer blasts, and better than Dally who gives random people a hard time and be mean and nasty. Johnny seemed normal to me. Therefore, I liked him.

Johnny had a smiled plastered on his face. "Best friend? you want to be my best friend?"

"Gawd, make the boo boo love-fest stop!" Two-bit shouted. Everyone laughed., including Johnny.

My mom took pictures with most of the them having Johnny smile the biggest smile ever. I was proud of myself. I never knew I had it in me to put a smile on Johnny's face. All because I said I was his best friend. I guess it was something he always wanted.

End of Flashback

But that was a long time ago. I wonder who put that picture there.Probably Darry or Soda or maybe even Two-Bit. I don't know why I'm at Dally's grave. I don't think he would want me near his tombstone. The only reason he died was because of Johnny dying, which was my fault. I know I don't think too much, but look where that led to. I stood up and headed to Johnny's grave when Dallas' caught my eye.

Dallas Winston


Hero and Beloved friend.

That's it? That's all they said about him? I pictured Dally's face in a pissed expression. If he died, which he did, who wouldn't want be remembered as a hero. He was too proud of his police record, like Curly Shepard. But then again...for awhile I tried to think, and I couldn't come up with anything nice or polite that would ever describe Dallas Winston. It would've been a lie.

I walked over to Johnny's grave and stared at for awhile. Sitting near it was one of the pictures my mom took that day. Golly, was he happy in that picture. I remembered he wrapped his arm around me and smiled real wide when I said we were best friends. I sighed and looked at Johnny's tombstone. I traced out his name with my finger. I suddenly wanted to feel him again. The need to kiss him again. But I knew I couldn't and felt my heart brake even more.
I shed a few tears on the grass.

Jesus Johnny I miss you...please come back to me.. I don't know you expect for me to just live alone..

Jonathan Cade


Hero Beloved Son Beloved Friend

Beloved Son...I mentally apologized to Johnny in mind then I punched his tombstone real hard. My fist started bleeding and I could have sworn I heard it crack. I started crying. His parents were such bastards to the poor kid. Shit, they didn't even care that he died! His father only said "Johnny who? and slammed the door. I wanted to hurt his father so badly! He has no right to hurt Johnny like he did. I probably will hurt him...with my switchblade. Yeah, that will show him. Johnny would've hated me for doing something like that cause he deep down still loved his parents and hoped that they would change their ways, but they didn't and I wanted revenge for them hurting my Johnny.

I stayed at the cemetery the rest of the day til it was time to let school out. I walked home with tear-stained cheeks and bloody hands. I wouldn't know how to explain this to Darry but I know ill think of something. I usually do these days. I was walking through the lot when I caught a real view of it and remembered how Johnny and I were talking about how we wish so much that things could be better. That there would be no more Socs and Greasers...just plain ordinary people. Sadly, it only gotten worse.

I was a at least 2 blocks from my house when I suddenly heard a beer bottle smash on the ground. I jumped and turned around.

But I wished I hadn't...

"Hey Greaser! Looking for a good time? See, my idea of a good beating the living tar outta you"

Sorry about the flash back thing I couldn't come up with anything descent! But here is your new chapter at least! tune in to see what happens next.
reviews will be lovely thanks 3