Disclaimer – I own nothing but the idea.
A/N – Well, here's a little Christmas oneshot for you all, I know I haven't written anything for you in a while, but I had to do something for Christmas. This one progresses very quickly, but that's the whole idea. I didn't want it to be very long, and it's somewhat ridiculous at parts. So Merry-late-Christmas everybody, and I hope you enjoy! I changed a few things for the sake of the story, and John Morrison will be called Johnny Nitro just like old times.
Oh and also, I'm guessing everybody already knows what Secret Santa is, but just in case, I'll explain. It's basically like a Christmas game where a group of people all put their names on pieces of paper and put them into a bowl, a hat, or whatever else they want anything to draw them out of. You have to pull out a name at random, then you have to get a present for the person whose name you pick. You're not supposed to tell them you picked them ahead of time, hence the words 'Secret Santa.' Finally, everyone opens his or her gift and finds out who bought it for them, sometimes having to guess. I hope I made that clear enough. It's quite fun, actually.
#5 (Wow, I sure haven't got very far with these oneshots yet lol)
A Christmas Miracle
"Well alrighty!! Now that everybody's finally here, Jeff and I are going to need to know who's going to be spending the night!!" Matt Hardy announced to his living room full of people.
A group of the WWE employees had decided that it would be fun to have a Christmas party this year, and since their Raw show in North Carolina was on Christmas Eve, it was only fitting to have it at Matt and Jeff Hardy's house. Now that everyone had finally arrived with Jamie Noble being the last one, Matt was eager to find out just how many of their guests would be staying the night; spending Christmas with them the next day.
"Well… I can't say I've quite decided what to do, to be honest." Michelle McCool announced. "I'd like to spend Christmas with my parents, but I don't know if I want to drive that far out in that weather."
"No Michelle, you should stay!! It won't be half as fun without you!!" Jamie Noble pleaded.
The snow was practically falling in blankets outside, to the extent that driving would be difficult in the very least.
"Well you can book us a pair of sleeping spaces." Melina Perez happily announced from her spot on the couch.
"Yep." Johnny Nitro agreed from beside her. "Ain't no way we're gonna try to drive all the way back to Los Angeles on Christmas Eve."
"The weather is an added incentive." Melina added, smiling.
Matt smiled back. "Well ok then, glad to have you guys. I kinda thought you'd want to stick around."
"What else would we do anyway, right?" Johnny asked.
"Probably sit around watching lame old movies all day." Melina answered for him.
"Ok, Shawn, you're not staying, are you?'
"Nope." Shawn Michaels replied. "I gotta get home to the wife and kids. Speaking of which… I got a special flight booked-"
"On Christmas Eve!?" Hunter Helmsley burst out, and Shawn glared at him.
"Hence the word special, Hunter. Anyway, I have to get going pretty soon, so do you guys mind if we kick things off with the Secret Santa?"
Matt exchanged a look with his brother. "Yeah, that's probably a really good idea, to tell the truth. That way everyone gets their Secret Santa present even if they have to leave early."
"So…" Edge began, looking anxiously at the table covered in gifts.
"Oh, just mob it." Matt muttered, and his guests did just that, each eagerly searching for his or her present.
Matt soon found himself unable to resist joining in the mob, he too was eager to find out who his Secret Santa had been and what they got him.
He eventually found the box with his name on it and pulled it out; walking away from the small crowd to sit down in an old rickety rocking chair his dad had given him and Jeff.
Matt wasn't the only one who had discovered his gift, and the others who had found theirs were just sitting around waiting. Probably a good plan, actually. That way everyone got to see what their friends got, and also got to find out who in the group of people was a cheapskate.
Taking a seat on the floor next to Matt, Jeff jiggled his box. "Him… I wonder what it could be…?"
Matt shrugged, holding back laughter. Jeff didn't know of course, but Matt had pulled his brother's name when they had had the drawing for the Secret Santa. In the box was nothing more than a rock, neatly wrapped in several different packages all inside of each other. Jeff's real present was in the other room.
Matt couldn't wait to see his brothers' face when he opened the rock.
"So, who gets to open first?" Torrie Wilson asked.
"Uh, how about you, Jeff?" Matt suggested. He wanted to make sure that his brother opened the rock while everyone else was still there to laugh at him.
Jeff shrugged, tearing the paper off. Inside he found a box, which he opened to find another box. Inside this was a third box, and Jeff frowned as he pulled it out.
"Ah… The old box in a box trick…" Nitro muttered. "Perfect for tricking people into thinking you bought them something large and preferably expensive, when really, you just bought them a candle or giftcard."
Jeff glared at him, tearing the paper off the third box and opening it. Jeff Hardy proceeded to look into the box, and, looking completely dumbfounded, pulled out his rock.
Matt didn't hold back. He burst out laughing, and many of the others were soon to follow.
"Or a rock." Nitro added to his previous statement, chuckling as he said it.
Jeff on the other hand, still just looked confused. He apparently didn't know what to make of the situation, so Matt decided not to torment him any longer. "It's a joke, Jeff. I'm your Secret Santa; your present's in the other room."
Smiling and letting out a chuckle, Jeff bolted from the room in search of his real present.
"Let's see how long it takes him to find it." Randy Orton suggested.
"Oh, he ain't gonna find it." Matt told them all with a smirk. "He'll be looking for hiding spaces and stuff like that, but really, it's just in plain sight. Trust me, he'll never find it until I tell him where it is. So who's next?"
"Uh, I guess I'll open mine…" Shawn Michaels announced, carefully beginning to open his package.
"Shawn, you are such a… girl." Hunter told his friend, grabbing the present away from him and completely shredding the wrapping paper. "Wow… You really must be a girl!!!" The Game shouted as he handed Shawn the bra he had just unwrapped.
People began laughing, and Shawn looked appalled. "What on Earth…? Wait a minute… You got me this, didn't you!?"
Hunter smiled. "Yep. Just to set up that joke, too. I knew you'd open it like a girl."
Shawn rolled his eyes as everyone laughed. "Well just wait till you see what I got you…"
Hunter's smile turned to a frown. "Wait… You mean…?" He frantically ripped open his present, opening a box to discover a… pink thong!? "WHAT THE HELL!?"
"Your wife warned me you were going to do that." Shawn said. Now he was the one who was smiling while Hunter was dumbfounded. "So I thought I might just play along and set up a little retaliation."
"Stephanie…" Hunter muttered, squeezing his thong. "I should have known she'd rat me out!!!"
By now, everyone was laughing their heads off at the absurdity of the situation.
"Well, uh, I got my present and gave mine out, so I should probably be going. Thanks guys, for all the wonderful memories this year." Shawn finally said with a smile.
"Bye Bye Shawnie!!" Melina called, using the pet name and voice she knew made him blush, simply because she found it funny.
"Bye!" Shawn replied, red as ever.
"Yeah I gotta go too, actually." Hunter said. "So uh, it's been fun and all that, see ya'll later, and finally… Screw you guys!" He shouted as he exited, getting some laughs.
"Jeez… What do ya'll think were the chances of them picking each other's names?" John Cena asked after a moment.
"Just about as slim as Michelle!" Jamie replied, instantly looking at the blonde woman as if he expected some sort of enthusiastic recognition for his somewhat-compliment.
Torrie had begun to open her gift, and when she pulled open the box, a look of shock appeared on her face. "Lingerie…….!?" She spun around. "JOHN!!!"
"What!?" Cena shouted defensively. "I didn't do nothin'!!! For once!!"
She held up the skimpy clothing.
"So? Why you showing me your underwear?"
She narrowed her eyes.
"What? Was that your gift or something?"
She cocked her head.
"Quit looking at me like that…"
She bit her lip in a threatening sort of way.
John groaned, grabbing his coat. "Fine, I'll take it back and get you something else!!" He grabbed the skimpy clothing from her and stormed out of the room, heading out into the snowy night and slamming the door behind him.
"How did you know-?" Melina started.
"Look around this room. Is there anyone else here who would do that?"
Melina did as she was told. A couple times, she almost said someone's name, but then realized that Torrie was probably right. "Ok, good point."
Edge was now eagerly ripping open his gift. When he saw it, he froze up for a second. "A scarf…? A SCARF!? A FREAKING SCARF!!?" He whirled around. "DAMNIT MICHELLE, GIVE ME THE FREAKIN' RECEIPT!!!"
Michelle looked defensive. "Wh-What makes you think it's from me…?"
Edge just glared knowingly at her. "I'm using the same method Torrie just used."
Michelle looked around, and it didn't take her long to realize that no one else in the room would have bought him of all people a scarf. She sighed and pulled out the slip of paper, handing it to The Rated R Superstar and shaking her head as he grabbed the receipt and followed in Cena's footsteps, muttering something about having to buy his own freaking Christmas present as he stormed out and slammed the door behind him.
All was silent for a moment. "Well Michelle, I thought it was a great gift." Jamie told her.
Michelle turned to look at him, still shaking her head, only now she was wearing an exasperated sort of smile. "Thank you, Jamie."
He smiled bigger than he had all night.
Melina and Nitro began ripping open their presents on the couch; Johnny uncovered a Sony PSP while Melina got a large stack of CDs.
"Oh…" Johnny muttered, looking nervously around. "I… Uh… Didn't know we were supposed to spend so much…"
"Yeah I think I just realized that." Matt said with a laugh as he pulled out a knitted sweater that had both the Hardy Boys and MNM logos on it.
Johnny smiled apologetically, but Matt shrugged. "Not like I got you the PSP. I got Jeff's present, remember?"
"Well then who?" Johnny asked, looking around. The only ones missing were Cena, Edge, and Jeff, and they already knew what Cena's present had been.
"Gotta be Edge or Jeff then…" Nitro muttered.
"Jeff." He and Matt said at the same time, coming to the simple conclusion that Edge was nowhere near that decent.
Melina had taken the rubber band off her CDs and was going through them, quietly saying the artist's names aloud. "Cannibal Corpse, Slayer, Killswitch Engage, Shadows Fall, Cradle of Filth, Fall River, Six Feet Under…" She went on listing them as Nitro rolled his eyes.
"Her favorites." He stated, earning several laughs, though he was serious.
"So who are these from?" Melina asked as she finished going through the stack of CDs, which mostly consisted of Screamo and Death/Black/Melodic Metal music.
Randy Orton sheepishly raised his hand. "It was the best I could get with such short notice. Sorry, but hope you like."
She smirked. "Sorry!?"
Getting up, Melina shocked the daylights out of Randy by walking right up to him, giving him a passionate looking kiss on the lips, and shoving him backwards.
"What the!?" Nitro exclaimed.
Melina continued smirking at the stunned Randy. "Sorry…"
He got up, placing his hand to his lips and then looking at it. "For what?"
She laughed. "Exactly."
It didn't take Orton long to realize that this was her very strange way of showing him how much she liked his gift. He had nothing to be sorry for. "And neither does she…" he muttered out loud, smirking.
"I am so glad we're just friends now, and I hope you didn't do that when we were going out." Nitro said, and she playfully smacked him on the arm.
"Hey…" Randy started. "I still got my present!" He ripped open his box and his eyes lit up even more. "Awesome!!! Thanks… Thanks…" He looked around, trying to figure out who all was left over. "Torrie?"
She smiled at him. "Yep. Merry Christmas Randy!!"
"Merry indeed!! I got two awesome presents!!" He exclaimed, taking his gift, an I-Pod, out of the box and smiling at both Torrie and Melina.
Deciding to break things up, Matt spoke up. "So… Uh… Who hasn't opened yet?"
"Well, Cena still has the one from me," Melina started, "But he went to get Torrie a better present, so I guess that just leaves…"
All eyes fell on Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool.
"Well, I don't know where mine is…" Michelle stated.
"Oh, I have it Michelle, don't you worry." Jamie told her. "Just let me open mine, and then I'll show you yours."
Michelle sighed as Jamie tore open his paper and found… A dead fish!?
"So that's what the smell was…" Torrie muttered.
"And I believe we've just discovered Edge's gift." Nitro said with a smirk.
Jamie looked crestfallen for a minute, but then he just sort of shrugged it off. "Oh well. It doesn't matter! Come on, Michelle! Let me show you your present!!" Throwing the fish down, he grabbed Michelle by the hand and pulled her toward the door.
"Wait… Jamie, are we going outside!? Can't you just bring whatever it is in here?"
"No Michelle you gotta come with me!! Come on!!"
She sighed. "Well let me grab my jacket…"
The entire group followed Jamie to the door a minute later, but he told them to wait for a moment as he covered Michelle's eyes. Someone else walked up to the group. "What are we doing?" Jeff Hardy asked as he joined them.
"I don't know, really." Matt replied. "You didn't find your present, I'm guessing?"
"No, where is it?"
"There's an Xbox 360 in a package for you on the kitchen counter, Jeff."
"The kitchen counter!? Oh man you're sneaky!! I would've never thought to look there!!"
Outside, they could here Jamie talking to Michelle. "Ok Michelle, come right out here, and… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!"
"OH MY GOD!!!! JAMIE!! WHAT ON EARTH…!? You shouldn't have!"
Unable to hold themselves back any longer, the rest of the group bustled out through the doorway and instantly saw what Michelle was freaking out about.
A brand new fancy car was parked in front of them.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" Johnny screamed, loud enough to disturb the whole neighborhood.
"And why didn't I get a car?" Matt asked, smirking at his Secret Santa, Nitro.
"Well, no offence dude, but I'm not really looking to date you."
"I can't believe you got her a car!!" Melina exclaimed. "And such a nice one, too!! Good Lord, you must've spent a fortune!"
"Well," Jamie started, a proud smile in place on his face, "Michelle's worth it. Anything for the love of my life."
Johnny and Randy literally had to cover their mouths with their hands to keep from bursting out laughing, and Michelle put her head in her hands. "Jamie…"
"Yeah Michelle? You want to get married!! Well sure we can get married!! Look, I'm even ready!!!" Jamie interrupted, opening the trunk of Michelle's Christmas Present and pulling out a bunch of cans tied together and a 'Just Married' license plate, which he put into place.
"Jamie…" Michelle began again.
"What, you want to do it tonight!? Yeah!! We could be married on Christmas Eve!!"
"So how many kids do you want to have, Michelle? I was thinking like seven or eight."
Michelle sighed. "Jamie… I'd like nothing more than to do everything you just said! Let's go get married now!!"
"Ok!! Come on Michelle!" Jamie exclaimed, and practically before anyone knew it, they had gotten in the car and driven away, the 'Just Married' plate already in place.
The remainder of the group just stood there, staring blankly after the car. No one spoke at first, and then finally, "What the hell did we just watch!?" Melina asked, sounding more than a little confused.
"The strangest thing I have ever seen, and the strangest thing I will ever see." Randy replied, scratching his head.
"Huh…" Matt muttered after a moment.
"Huh." Torrie echoed.
"Huh Huh Huh…" Melina added.
"Oh well. It's cold out here. Let's go back inside." Jeff suggested.
Matt shrugged and led the way back into the warmth, Jeff hot on his heels.
Bringing up the rear, Johnny Nitro turned to Randy Orton. "Well, I'd say that little elf got himself a real Christmas Miracle, if you know what I mean…" He winked, elbowing his friend.
Randy let out a knowing sort of laugh and high-fived Johnny. "Yeah, a sexy blonde Christmas Miracle."
Laughing, the two wrestlers followed their friends into the house, where the rest of them planned to spend their Christmases, and where they had a lot of fun ahead of them and a lot more Christmas memories to create.