It was all wrong. All of it. Every last bit of it.

Chuck Bass never felt more for anyone than they felt for him. He was a consistent winner who could organize the world to fall inside his pocket. Entirely possible that he was an asshole but well, it got him what he wanted and there were plenty of girls that wanted a piece of him. Once they were with him, the girls never wanted to give him up.

But now here he was on the stairs, watching Blair Waldorf make out with Nate while wearing the necklace he fucking gave her.

Fucking bitch.

Except that he couldn't manage to really hate her. He'd arranged the night perfectly, for him, and had managed to ruin the illusion that Blair had painstakingly worked to craft. Why the hell had she had to take Nate to the ball for "old times sake"? And what the fuck was going on with Nate missing Blair? Beyond the fact that she was amazing and that no one should ever want to let her go.

The pit in Chuck's stomach tightened as Nate winked at him and pulled Blair into the bedroom. He had never really wished Nate ill until that very moment. Now, now he was certain he could have killed his very best friend with his bare hands and smile as the life went out of his eyes.

But that would lose him the only thing he had left, what with Blair throwing herself at Nate.

It shouldn't have been surprising. Nate Archibald and Blair Waldorf had been a pair since the tender age of six. Blair's preferences had always been clear and Nate had always been helpless to get away from Blair's intentions. Nate + Blair forever had been an equation that had defined their group since youth but in the past year it had failed. Nate had been dull and Blair had become even stiffer than she had been.

And then…that night…

He hadn't known before that night that he'd loved her since they were kids. It was in that moment, watching her get up on stage to dance, he remembered how fun she could be when she let go just a little. Inhibitions gone and no longer the driving necessity to be the pure innocent girl that Nate Archibald deserved. It was a sick little twist of pleasure that she wasn't going to bed with Nate a virgin. He'd had her first.

Chuck continued torturing himself as he walked down the stairs. He knew what it looked like when you fucked Blair Waldorf. It was a gorgeous thing. Those little stiff walls fell just as quickly as they did when she danced at his club. She became this living, breathing, passionate goddess rather than the stiff board that tried to get her way through life without falling off of her tightrope. She was the kind of girl you couldn't get enough of. He certainly hadn't been able to look at another girl since.

She'd ruined his entire way of life and then had acted like he was the problem.

He glanced up the stairs as he stepped off of the last one. She would live to regret this. She was happier without Nate, happier with him. Even Nate had noticed. Their relationship would fade away again and she'd be as miserable as he was right now.

It was a cold comfort.

She was still in that bedroom, fucking Nate, wearing his necklace.

Nothing that a bottle of vodka couldn't take out of his mind for the rest of the night. His shoes sounded heavily on the marble floor as he headed towards the bar. They almost sounded like the heavy pounding of his heart. The thought threatened to suffocate him.

His foots carried him away from the bar, out of the hotel and towards his car. If he didn't leave the city it was likely going to kill him staying. He'd pack his bag and start his Christmas Holiday early. There'd be hot girls there, half naked dancing on a beach. It would be a relief really, not to be hanging on a phone call or text, not to be stuck in this cold, stuffy city.

He'd find himself again, the boozing, womanizing man they all counted on him to be. How hard could it be to forget a girl who he didn't deserve who made him feel all wrong?

Chuck Bass slid into the car feeling far more empty than he had in years. He closed his eyes and let the car bring him home so he could pack and fly away from the cold pain.