My Immortal

Disclaimer: I Don't Own FMA In Any Way.

Rating: PG—PG-13 Due To Some Violence and Blood.

A/N: OK, with this fic, you're gonna have to be pretty open-minded. I've never really written a Winry-wants-to-kill-Ed-and-will-try fic so, yeah….it was generally inspired when I heard My Immortal by Evanescence, hence the title and why you will see italicized words of the lyrics XD So, yes, this is a songfic and I hope whoever reads will enjoy. (Don't ask how I got the idea, just read XD)

F----------------M----------------A

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Winry, 17, lay on her bed, lying on her stomach while hugging a pillow and burying her face into it. She was trying to suppress the tears that wanted to escape from her eyes. Al, 16, had returned about a week ago, his body in tow, but…he had come alone. Edward was not with him.

Before Al left to Rush Valley with her grandmother, he explained that, when his body was returned, his elder brother was no where to be found. Al said that he was unsure of what happened but Winry pretty much knew. Ed was most likely dead, sacrificed to the other side in order to save his younger brothers body. She expected nothing less from him, after all.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Even after a week, Winry was still devastated. She loved Edward, she wouldn't deny that now. They had been through much over the years. The emotional wounds he had given her would not heal with time. The pain she felt for him, it was something she couldn't get rid of now.

They had been together ever since they were children, they grew up and her feelings towards him had changed dramatically. When they were younger, Al and Ed would fight over who would marry her. Even if Ed won, she would've rejected him then. But now, she just wanted to spend her life with him, telling him she loved him and being able to feel his skin against hers. But, sadly, he was gone and it felt like he wasn't coming back. It was then that Winry promised herself something.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

Throughout the years, Winry had always tried her best to be there for Ed; to sooth him when his Automail made him muscles ache and offer her ears to let him have somebody to listen to him, even if he never accepted the gesture. When he screamed, she tried to calm him, telling him it'd be OK. Through all the years, she held his hand and stood by him when others gave up. She never gave up. Not anymore.

She would let go of him, even if he would hold on with all his might. If Ed was alive, he couldn't count on Winry anymore for her help, or her comforting words. If Ed was alive, heart pumping and blood flowing through his veins, he wouldn't smile if he ever saw her again. No, he'd be screaming for forgiveness and mercy on his pathetic, sorry soul. Because if Winry ever saw him again…

She'd kill him.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

He used to be the only thing Winry worried about. Was his Automail just right? Were he and his brother safe? Were they in the middle of nowhere? Was he bleeding to death in the middle of a dark alleyway where no one could hear his screams?

Not anymore. His face had taunted her dreams—or nightmares, rather—for long enough! She wanted nothing to do with him. His voice, his once soothing to her ears voice, had chased away any sanity left in her. This was why she would be the one to end his life if he were alive.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Time. Time was the lat thing she wanted to think about. Time always seemed to be against her. Now, that Edward was seemingly gone, each tick of the clock seemed to pass by less quickly, leaving the tock to wait with its agonizing impatience. She would just have to find a way to make it go faster. With her newfound idea, perhaps the time would understand and leave her alone to taunt another.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

To think, Winry thought suddenly. I waited so long for his sorry ass, she hated him. Everything he did to her, it didn't bother him once, did it? Now that she thought about it, every time he left, he never once looked over his shoulder, just to see her one last time.

At least he had the decency to say goodbye, she thought, but it didn't matter to her now. He kept her away from everything, sealed himself in a nice little shell, leaving his anguish to eat away at him. She was surprised at the fact that he had gone for so long without so much as suffering from full-on depression. He still managed to smile whenever he could, and even laughed heartedly. Winry could just picture his bright, grinning face, his golden eyes, glistening happily.

It disgusted her. Everything about him suddenly seemed so wrong; he always did say he was a sinner, after all.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

He was still with her, haunting her dreams with his voice and leaving her to daydream about his ever so unique golden eyes and his smile, which used to be so precious to her, but now meant nothing. She's been alone without him, without him breaking her Automail and getting on her nerves. That was the way they bonded; through Automail tune-ups and being mad at one another. Although strange, those were the moments that meant the most to her. Through Automail, she was able to get close to him, and sometimes touch his scarred skin. And, by being mad at each other, their relationship grew stronger.

It mattered not, though; their relationship grew so strong, but now, it crumbled like a wall being hit with cannon shots. This wall hadn't held up.

F----------------M---------------A

Edward Elric, 17, walked down the dirt road of Resembol. His combat-boot covered feet left imprints behind as his weight pushed down on the ground. His pants were shining slightly from the Sun above and, shockingly enough, he was only wearing a black tank top on the upper part of his body, letting his Automail shine in all its glory. He was walking with his head held high and his back straight. There was even a small, lopsided, grin gracing his features.

He should be smiling, after all. He knew he had gotten Al's body back, although he had disappeared from the younger afterwards because the Gate was trying to be a happy-go-lucky bitch with him, but he didn't allow it. He managed to get back, still with his Automail limbs, but unscathed. Well, almost; he had a few new injuries and added battles scars but he didn't really mind, seeing as he was used to it.

He looked ahead with happy, glistening eyes, and could see the light-yellow two-story home coming up. He was suddenly reminded of when he'd come to get his Automail fixed and whatnot. And, with that, came the though of his mechanic.

Winry, he though and even smiled more brightly, blushing slightly as well. He would get to see her, too. After years of thinking he'd one day leave and never see her beautiful, smiling face again, he proved himself wrong; he was alive, heart pumping and blood flowing through his veins, and he would be able to see his precious friend and mechanic again.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

He was abruptly reminded of everything he and Winry had been through. From the time they were children to when she started fixing his Automail. They had been through a lot together; he was always leaving her and making her worry and that was one of the things that added so much grief to his life. He regretted many things in his life; trying to transmute his mother, becoming a Dog of the State, the list goes on. But there was one main thing that he also greatly regretted.

He hadn't told Winry he loved her. But he understood that he couldn't. It would've just made saying goodbye to her even worse. He did what he could for her; when she cried, he tried to comfort her by asking what was wrong. Although it was little and the tears were usually caused by him, he supposed it was something. He was also the first to help her if she was in trouble and he was always grateful for her work on his Automail.

He suddenly found a new reason to go home; aside from seeing his younger brother in the flesh, finally, he would also get to see Winry and be able to ultimately admit his feelings to her. He continued walking and, soon, he was able to see the full house ahead of him. He noticed a form in the second-floor balcony, leaning on the railing and looking out to everything before them. He recognized said form as Winry, wearing a black mini-skirt, white tank top and black boots. His smile widened.

The blonde Elric stood on the tip of his toes and waved at her, hoping she would notice him. Apparently she did because he saw her lean up on her palms and look to him.

"Hey, Win!" he called out happily. "Long time, no see!" he saw her huff out a breath before quickly walking back into her room, her long, loose blonde hair whipping behind her. It was then that Ed smiled nervously.

She's probably gonna kill me. If only he knew the truth in his words.

He continued walking until he stood right before the house. The door opened to, none other than, Winry. She looked pretty damn angry. Ed took a small step back, hoping Winry wouldn't throw her wrench at his head as she usually did. It didn't work. Before Ed could say something, the sound of metal meeting skull rang about his head and he fell back.

The Alchemist leaned up on his elbows and rubbed his sore head.

"Damn it, Winry, you couldn't have mercy on me once!?" he asked as he looked up to her. Her eyes did not soften upon meeting his. "C'mon, Win, say something," he said, trying to sound playful. The girl only glared with a menacing look in her eyes as she stepped closer to him, a hand behind her back.

"Win, what's up?" Ed asked as he became slightly worried. It stayed tensely silent. What Winry said and did next both scared and shocked Edward.

"You sorry bastard," she muttered as she pulled her hidden hand up above her, holding a sharp piece of metal in her hand. She struck but Ed pulled his Automail arm in front of him, defensively, before the hit could be registered.

"Winry, what the hell's gotten into you!?!?" The Alchemist asked nervously as he searched her eyes for an answer and struggled to protect himself.

"You're dead," Winry told him heatedly and then continued trying and hit him. Ed pushed her off of him and she landed on her back a few feet away. He then fixed himself so that he was on one knee and facing Winry. He saw her lean up as well, a hatred burning in her eyes as she looked to him.

"Winry what's wrong with you!? Who's making you do this!?" he demanded from her. The mechanic didn't reply but threw herself at him for another attempt at an attack. Ed, though, caught her wrists I his hands but was forced on his back again. He growled lowly before rolling over and forcing Winry under him, holding her wrists securely in his hands.

"Who's making you do this!? Answer me!!" he demanded angrily. Winry struggled to get free but failed.

"No one," she told him. Ed's eyes widened curiously.

"Then why are you doing it?" he asked, wondering if he really wanted to know the answer.

"Because I hate you!" she screamed at him irately. Her words stung worse that reconnecting Automail.

"What?" he asked unbelievingly.

"I hate you, Edward Elric. You've caused me nothing but pain and suffering. And, for that, you will pay," she said angrily, staring him dead in the eye. Ed's eyes stayed saddened; Winry hated him. Those were three words he never wanted to hear from her. He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"I guess you have every right to hate me, Winry," he told her. The mechanic's eyes softened slightly. "But do you really want to kill me over that?" he questioned. Winry shrugged and she snarled at him.

"Get off me and I'll show you," she challenged. The Elric's eyes widened at the seething hatred and seriousness in her voice. Unknowingly, he loosened his muscles a bit and looked away from her. Winry wasted no time; she pushed him off her and he landed next to her on his stomach. She then sat up and pulled the sharp piece of metal above her. Ed looked to her and his eyes widened nervously.

"Winry, no!" he said edgily.

"You're gonna regret everything you've ever done." Before Ed could defend himself, she struck his side and he screamed from the pain. As he bit his lower lip, he fell to his other side and pulled his Automail over his new injury. He could feel the warm blood flow out of his body and absorb into his shirt. Some of it fell onto the ground below him as he went onto his back. He hissed through gritted teeth and looked up to Winry; she was smiling.

"I already regretted everything I've done," he said quietly. "You didn't have to stab me to make me regret it." His words caused Winry's eyes to widen slightly.

"But I guess stabbing me helped it a bit…now I know the consequence for it all. If you're gonna kill me…then I won't get in your way," he said through breaths as he held his injury tightly. "I'd want to kill me too." He braced himself for the blonde's next blow, shutting his eyes closed and stiffening his muscles.

He's gonna hold back? Winry asked herself curiously. Her eyes softened at his actions and she looked away. The sharp object in her hand slipped out of her fingers and fell to the ground beside her. She couldn't kill him.

She could hate him, she could despise his every last detail, and she could even tell it to his face. But she couldn't kill him. He had too much to live for now; he had his younger brother to think about, after all, and would probably try to amend his wrongdoing with her. He was too young to die; he didn't deserve to be killed, much less my Winry's hands. Even now, she felt bad about making his blood flow.

The moment he heard a piece of metal fall was when Ed looked up to Winry. Her blonde hair was shadowing her eyes from sight. He felt he was safe from another hit so he forced himself to kneel in front of her, giving her a worried look.

"Winry?"—"Just leave me alone, Ed," Winry asked of him quietly and with a shaky voice. Ed's eyes widened slightly and he let out a tiny breath.

"Of course," he agreed silently and stood up, walking off to the house to tend to his injury. As he was about to enter, he looked over his shoulder one last time to see Winry. She brought her hands to her face and began weeping quietly. He ripped his gaze away from her and continued inside.

F----------------M----------------A

A/N: Gonna make this two chapters, seeing as it's long enough here XD Anyway, please R&R, constructive criticism, no flames ;) thanks! I know it's kinda…odd D: but, please, tell me what you think :)

P.S. Chapter two will most likely be kinda short :P Also, Am I the only one who think's my format of a songfic is weird? Just curious…