Hey guys! Two a.m and I couldn't help but get this up! It's Grary... rather sassy, silly Grary in which Mary needs to stand up to get her man back with the help from her friends, revealing clothing and Avril Lavigne. Well, beware excessive exclamation points, song, Mary in a tank top and jeans and a mortified Gray. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or the song here... I wish I did, though... but if I did, this would be a cutscene, and Mary would look awesome!

All's Fair in Love and War

Mary rarely hated anything.

But that… that… woman was starting to look like an exception.

Until that pretty little blonde farm girl walked into town Gray was hers! Well, they hadn't been dating or anything but… they had a good relationship. At least a relationship that showed that they were getting to the dating stage!

Gray would walk in, Mary would struggle to stutter out a greeting, Gray would grumble it and go angst at the table while reading one of Mary's very depressing books that made his angst look really teeny in comparison. All throughout the day Mary would try to get herself to talk to him; Gray would be reading in brooding silence in the meantime. Then, at closing time, Gray would leave, Mary would stutter out a farewell, and she'd be left alone to curse at herself for not being brave.

Anyone with a brain could see that they were totally into each other!

But no, it seemed that Claire had no brain.

And that Gray preferred her to… Mary.

Now, Mary knew that she wasn't pretty. Claire was much prettier; the classic beauty. But… Mary was… Mary was… oh! Who was she kidding!? Mary was nothing in comparison to Claire!

And what Mary especially hated was that Claire would use her library as a… a… speed dating zone!

A library was most certainly not a place to flirt shamelessly with a blacksmith while shooting victorious glances at the seething and sorrowful librarian! It was a place to read and share ideas and pleasant, stimulating conversation! Not a place to hunt for men!

But no! Claire used the library as the place to get Gray with her… stale pick-up lines with various implied meanings that made Mary want to blush. It was shameful and disgraceful… not to mention heart wrenching for her.

She hated it… and lately it was showing.

The librarian was walking around like there was a storm cloud only over her head, head down, starting to wear black a little more often.

After a whole season of this it was decided that something needed to be done to get Mary out of this depression. Her friends decided that it was time for an intervention. And so they cornered her up in Mother's Hill on a Monday, on which day her parents had mysteriously decided not to go to.

"Mary, you need help!" Elli announced, a concerned look on her face as she watched the librarian standing like she was nothing.

"Yeah, help!" Popuri reasserted, hands on her hips.

Mary eeped when Karen came closer and began touching her hair, a look of disgust on her face as she saw how unruly the midnight hair was; how it stuck out at many angles. "Yeah… help…" Karen muttered, "In more ways than one…"

"I… I don't need help!" Mary protested, backing away as the girls formed a circle around her to prevent her from escaping.

"Denial, the first stage," Elli said, shaking her head sadly.

"Mary!" Ann exclaimed, face outraged, "How could you let that big city bimbo steal your man like that!?"

The other girls nodded, and if Mary had not been so depressed she would have blushed at that insult. "W-well," Mary said, "It's Gray's choice who he wants to be with and-,"

"Wrong!" Karen interrupted her, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her a bit, "Men are too stupid to know what they want! That's why we have to show them what it is they want!"

Again the other girls nodded in agreement. Mary, on the other hand, was very confused.

"Well," Elli elaborated, "Do you think the doctor knows that he's rather go out on a date with me than stay in the office and try to find a cure for some sickness?" it took Mary a second to notice it was rhetorical.

"Or that Cliff knew that he'd rather go out with me than sit in his room and be scared of his shadow?" Ann said, looking a bit miffed.

"Or that Kai knew that he'd rather stay here, with me than travel around the entire world?" Popuri added.

"Or that Rick knew that he's much rather ogle me than feed chickens all day and think of me as a friend!?" Karen shouted.

Mary didn't know what to say.

"Well," Elli said, rubbing her chin a little, "It's best not to be impulsive or aggressive. After all, men are good people too. You should never force yourself on anyone or get in the way of their happiness, but you also have to put yours into account."

"M-mine…?" Mary asked dumbly.

Ann nodded. "Yes, yours! Are you just going to spend your life watching other people be happy!? No way! We're your friends, and it's about time that we helped you realize the finer points in life!"

Popuri nodded in agreement, circling Mary as she took in her appearance. "Yeah. Like, look at this smock. Yeah, it's simple and inexpensive for your parents. But it won't make you happy."

"It won't?" Mary asked, more confused than ever.

"Absolutely not," Elli said, shaking her head, "A smock may be comfortable and a bit familiar and nonthreatening, but you won't attract any man, especially a guy like Gray that's so taken with Claire at the moment."

"U-huh," Ann agreed, plopping down on the grass, "Normally we'd tell you not to change to get your man, but now that Claire has sunken her fangs into Gray-,"

"You're going to need a lot of stuff going for you to get your man back," Karen finished for her, jotting down a few notes in a small notebook she's pulled out from her pocket.

"B-but… I don't want to get… him back…" Mary whispered.

Ann hit her over the head, making Mary shriek. "Yeah right! We see how you've been moping around this past season! It's disgusting and you really need to get your man back so that you can get on with you life and be happy!"

Mary rubbed at her head, a bit overwhelmed. "But…. Why do you care?"

The girls looked at her a bit bewildered. Finally, Elli spoke. "Isn't it obvious Mary?" Mary shook her head, Elli sighed and smiled sadly, "We're your friends, Mary. We want what's best for you."

Mary blinked a few times in shock, her eyes flitting to each of the girls. They all smiled at her and nodded. Friends? Mary thought she had none. Oh, how blind she'd been! They were really… her friends.

Finally, the librarian nodded, and the girls whooped excitedly. "Okay, let's get started!" Ann exclaimed, her braid bouncing up and down as she jumped excitedly.

"First up," Elli said, frowning in memory, "Is getting the proper attitude down-packed. Karen, Ann, you guys handle aggressiveness. I'll handle a good self image. Popuri, you go and get the 'stuff' we discussed earlier."

Popuri nodded and ran off. The remaining three girls gathered around Mary, and she squeaked as they began their work.


"Are you sure this is going to work?" Popuri asked.

"I'm sure it will!" Elli reassured her, looking at Mary in a bit of shock.

"I'm still not sure about the song, though…" Popuri mused.

"It'll work!" Ann insisted, leading the girls towards their destination.

"You look great, Mary," Karen said with a smile, "Do you feel great?"

The raven haired woman nodded, a smug smile on her lips.

"She looks ready," Ann said with an equally smug smile.

"Oh yeah. She'll- we'll knock Gray out." Popuri said with a smug smile as she practiced her routine a little.

Elli smiled, not smugly but happily. "This'll be fun. Even though we'll be insulting someone and winning a man for Mary the dirty and underhanded way, this will be fun."

"Well, all's fair in love and war," Ann said, working her hair a little.

"This is going to be awesome!" Popuri squealed as they arrived at their destination, setting down the boom box and looking at herself in the mirror a little, smiling at her appearance.

"We all look… hot," Karen announced.

"Oh, I wish Tim could see; he'd really not want to go back to work when he saw me like this" Elli whined, imagining her hubby's expression when he saw her like this.

"We should invite the other guys, too!" Ann suggested.

"No," Mary said, the same smile on her face, "This is my time."

The girls nodded, the smug smiles appearing on their faces as they inspected their handiwork.

Oh, this would definitely work…


Gray hated these stupid little notes Claire left him.

Really, they were annoying.

This one was telling him to go to Rose Square at 3:00.

Well, his grandpa had kicked him out of the shop early because he messed up on another job, so he had the day off. He wouldn't have gone if he was working, but since he had nothing better to do since the library was closed today, he did go.

When he arrived at Rose Square he immediately saw Claire, standing in the middle of the square. A stereo caught his eye on the far bench, but he forgot all about it when Claire squealed and ran over to him, spouting nonsense already.

"Oh Gray! You're so romantic! Inviting me on a date! I love you so much-,"

That was confusing. Gray most certainly did not invite Claire out. She did. What the heck was going on here-,

Then, Claire squealed as she was knocked over by a strong kick in the behind. Gray's eyes widened in shock as he saw who was standing over her.

Actually, he didn't know the person standing over her.

It was a woman. She was wearing a tank top and tight jeans and her startling, shiny hair was cut short to her shoulders. Startling eyes gazed out at him, a confident look on them. Oh, and she was wearing high heels. No one in town wore high heels.

And then… Gray almost toppled over in shock…


Mary smiled at Gray, ignoring the whimpering sounds that blonde bimbo was making from her position on the floor. Blonde bimbo, she actually liked the sound of that…

Confidence… Elli had told her all about it. That confidence not only made you feel better but it also attracted men to you. A woman that wasn't confident was not only unhappy, but she was also dateless and unattractive, not only to men but to herself.

Assertiveness… Ann and Karen had shown her how. To be assertive was to be in control, and many men loved assertive women. Mary would never have guessed from the books she read but it was true, apparently.

"How better to kick that blonde bimbo out of Gray's heart by a routine?" Popuri had said on Mother's Hill earlier as the girls had been making her over, both in appearance and in personality. It was because of Popuri that Mary had learned the routine so quickly.

Well, this song was rather loud and obnoxious, and these clothes rather revealing and a bit trampy. But Mary felt good. And that really was all that mattered…. Not that she'd dress like that anymore after this…

Kai had brought Popuri the CD with this song back last summer, and Popuri had thought it was the perfect song for the occasion… Mary was… inclined to agree.

Now, it was finally time to win her man back.

"Hit it!" she exclaimed.


Across the square, a scantily clad Popuri came out of hiding. Giving a thumbs up to Mary, she hit the 'play' button on the boom box… And as one all the others jumped out of their various hiding places.

And Mary, the new and improved Mary, began to dance to the beat of Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend'.

"Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend!" the girls sang in unison, forming up behind Mary and wagging their fingers at Gray, shaking their hips as Mary crossed her arms and huffed, "No way! No way! I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You!"

"I could be your girlfriend!" Mary sang, stepping over Claire and stopping right in front of Gray, a smile on her face, "Hey! Hey! You! You!" the others sang as they formed up around a very confused Claire, "I know that you like me!" Mary kind of cocked her head a little to the side and let her index finger fall on Gray's chest, "No way! No way!" the others chanted as Claire began to get up "No it's not a secret," Mary stage whispered to Gray, a smile on her face as she winked at him, "Hey! Hey! You! You!" the others sang, bending over and practically screaming it at Claire, "I want to be your girlfriend!" Mary informed him, giving him a little push.

Gray stumbled backwards, so confused that he forgot where he was. All he could focus on was the woman singing. Who the heck was she!?

"You're so fine I want you mine, you're so delicious!" Mary said, licking her lips as she advanced on Gray, "I think about ya all the time, you're so addictive! Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?" she bent over, winking suggestively, Gray swallowed, "Alright, alright, alright, alright," the others echoed as they corralled a screeching Claire away from Gray and Mary, "Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious-," Mary sang, circling Gray with skips and bounds, but Gray screamed in sudden realization.

"Mary!?" he screamed in shock. When all the girls, and Mary stopped in their routine and looked at him blankly, Gray blanched, then he passed out… and everything went black.


The girls had stayed with Mary at the Clinic. Tim had assured them (after looking at Elli; in her miniskirt and tank top, in an ogling fashion) that Gray had just passed out. He'd hit his head when he fell but that was it. As for Claire… the girls had chased her out. Which was mean, Mary knew…

Finally, after hours, Gray finally stirred and the others vacated the room, leaving the guilty Mary and stirring Gray alone.

When Gray opened his eyes a crack, he took a while to speak. "I… had the worst dream…" he mumbled.

"O-oh…?" Mary asked.

"Y-yeah…" Gray mumbled, licking his chapped lips a bit, "I dreamt that you'd turned into a dancing girl," Mary swallowed, "and that you'd cut all your hair," Mary ran a hand through her short hair, biting her lip, "And that you'd turned into a real mean person… You kicked Claire and were cursing. Can you believe… it-,"

He shrieked when he finally really saw Mary, and Mary bit her lip hard. "Oh my Goddess it's true!" Gray screamed in a bloody murder fashion.

Mary waited for him to calm down, then spoke. "I… I'm sorry…"

Gray said nothing, he was currently shivering on the farthest side of the cot. "I thought that… you'd like that… well, the truth is Gray," Mary tried in vain to swallow the lump in her throat that was constricting her speech, "I meant what I was singing."

"You're damn precious?" Gray asked.

Mary blushed. "Well… that's…" she shrugged it off, "I mean that… I hate Claire… and that I want to be your," she closed her eyes, "girlfriend."

There was a hushed silence throughout the whole clinic. Mary finally spoke. "I change because I wanted to impress you. Claire- she had your attention and I wanted it. So my friends helped me… win it. I guess all I did was hurt Claire's feelings, make myself look like a complete and utter fool, trying to be something I'm not… and above all, hurt you. I'm… sorry. I'll leave now."

She bowed her head a little and got up to leave, tears in her eyes. "I-I," Gray muttered, "Liked you the way you were," Mary froze, "I mean… it's great that you can talk to me now… and your hair looks nice although I like it long… but… I don't like those clothes and I don't like how you treated Claire… it wasn't… you, Mary."

"Y-you… liked me the way I was?"

Gray nodded weakly. "Yeah… I did. I… still do."

Mary's heart skipped a beat. "Then why didn't you say anything!?"

"I… you never really expressed interest in me… and, well… I thought you didn't like me… you always seemed flustered by me, and I thought that maybe you didn't like me… but, I was wrong…"

Well, Mary thought as she held Gray's hand, happier than she'd been in a long time, maybe women didn't know what they wanted either. Mary was surely confused by a lot of the things she'd learned that day. All she knew was that she was going to be the Mary Gray liked… that she would certainly date him, maybe apologize to Claire, that men were blind, and that, well…

She would never wear those clothes again. That, above all, well, above Gray, of course, was most important.

Elli, on the other hand… well, that's a different story. Tim did like that outfit, though…


Ha... end. Warned you, didn't I? Haha... Too much sleep deprivation and Avril Lavigne inspired this... bit it was cute and silly, don't you think? Please review. Happy New Year!