Every time this happened, I tended to shove the idea away even when it was sometimes really hard to do so, but my stubbornness always helped me.
I know, not my usual way to deal with something that's buggin' me because most of the time I go right into trouble if it solves a problem I don't want to remain in the world (did I say that I also love trouble?).
But because of my very nature I cannot acknowledge a fact which is actual one of the most elemental things of nature and therefore nothing bad at all – and on the other hand is the very part I don't want to accept because there is no way I can do anything against it.
No one can stop Pey'j from getting old.
It's the way he struggles to keep up with me when I run and finally stops to gasp for air.
It's the longer time he takes to recover from a fresh fight.
It's the weariness his face wears which doesn't come just from mere tiredness.
Funny thing that I'm saying this. I mean, I was always the very person to tease him he should do a little sports so he wouldn't go any more stiff or to mock him with his hangovers, saying that happens when you become an old fart.
Yes, you're right, it's normal that his age begins now more and more to show itself: Pey'j's over 50 years old, and of course nobody expects that you still have to be fit at this age.
But do you know how old I am? Twenty. Whole thirty years younger than him. What's so special about it?
I will tell you how important it's to me.
The total meaning of this hit just only me myself a few days ago when I finally had some time to think about what had happened the last days.
I had thought I lost Pey'j forever as Hub and I freed him on Selene, his eyes glazed over and his hand lifeless. I would surely have given up then, if I hadn't known that I could at least save the other Hillyans from the same fate.
Even today I don't really know how I brought him back to life with these secret powers I inherit. I've just understood I can reclaim lives which had been forcefully taken, like when someone was murdered or their energy has been dragged out of them like from the DomZ – but this was only possible because those lives were meant to go on.
To know what I'm capable of doesn't make it any easier, but I have to accept that one day Pey'j will ultimately die because his time will have come. When a being's end because of its nature comes, then that's that, and even my powers cannot change this.
Do you understand now what I meant with the age difference between us?
He is thirty years older than me and therefore whole thirty closer to death.
Of course you never know what is going to happen in the future, but it's most likely I'll have to say forever good-bye someday, not only to my guardian but also to the man who has been my father since I can remember.
I'm only not so sure if I'll survive this ultimate farewell a second time then.