A Good Idea at the Time
PG-13ish, for language and lime.
Genre: Humor/Romance
It should be noted that a pissed off Light and an oblivious-as-usual Matsuda should not be mixed, as they produce an extremely… frisky L.

L was in the bathroom, and Light was pissed off.

Handcuffs. The god-damned handcuffs were a source of never-ending annoyance for the teenage genius. Yes, he had agreed to be chained to L for however long the detective saw fit, but that was to prove he was innocent. Light did not have to like wearing the handcuffs, nor did he have to enjoy being within six feet of L at all times. Or at least, almost at all times.

See, Light thought of himself as a very tolerant person. He'd allow L to drag him around, to wake him up at ungodly hours for cake, even sleep in the same bed. But there was one thing that Light had put his foot down for, and that was showers. The teen absolutely refused to take a shower with L standing six feet away from him. That was unacceptable. Yes, Light understood that it was important to the case for L to keep an eye on him at all times, but he was not going to allow the detective to be even more pervy. Not to mention the fact that Light had no interest in seeing any more of the detective's body than was strictly necessary. Absolutely none at all.

So after more than a few fist fights and heated arguments, Watari had stepped into the fray. The older man suggested that Light be allowed to take a show without anybody in the room, but there would be more cameras placed in the bathroom as a result, and Light would be searched before and after he left the bathroom thoroughly. Light had been disgruntled at first, but eventually decided that he didn't care much about that. The point was that as long as Light could pretend that nobody was watching him bathe, he was fine. And that went for L's showers, too; he was sure as hell not going to stand in the same room with the very naked detective in any situation.

So instead, Watari suggested, when L was in the bathroom, Light would be chained to a bedpost, and watched by a member of the task force in turns. The two geniuses had reluctantly compromised, and put the plan into effect immediately, although L had made Light promise they'd go back to taking showers in the same room if anything seemed out of place. Light had agreed, confident that he wouldn't cause any problems. So they had informed the task force of their new duties, and they had pulled straws for the order in which each policeman would baby-sit Light.

Today, it was Matsuda, hence the reason as to why Light was pissed.

He didn't have anything personal against Matsuda, in all honesty; the older man was polite, easygoing, and always friendly. It was just that he talked so damn much and didn't know when to stop. So Light was forced to sit and listen to Matsuda's inane chatter for half an hour, counting the seconds until he could be chained back to L.

Not that he wanted to be chained to L. Hell no. The only reason he'd ever want to be chained to L would be so that he could get back to work on the Kira case.

…In fact, the morbid case was starting to sound like a welcome escape from the brainless story Matsuda was feeding him now.

"So, I turned to Mogi-san, and I whispered that I thought this new blonde girl liked him—"

Light felt like banging his head against a wall.

"—because, you know, she was giving him that one look—"

He had to figure out something he could say to shut Matsuda up. Something surprising…

"—and Mogi-san told me I was being ridiculous, but I don't think I was, do you, Light-kun—?"

"So, Matsuda, have you heard that Ryuzaki and I are sleeping together?"

Matsuda's face was priceless. It looked as if his brain had just suddenly stopped working; his mouth hung open, his left eye twitched repeatedly. The older man was completely thrown off, and for once, speechless. Light almost sighed in relief, but caught himself at the last second. He decided to take the few minutes of silence to think in peace (because that was how long it would take for Matsuda's brain to restart), and to possibly wonder why the first thing to pop out of his mouth was that he was sleeping with the world's greatest detective.

However, before Light could actually manage to consider the reasons behind his words, Matsuda spoke. Hmm, apparently Matsuda's brain recovered much more quickly that Light had thought.

"Guh… what was that, Light-kun?"

Light found it rather difficult to keep in the smirk that was yearning to break free, but he managed. He knew it probably wasn't a good idea to mess with Matsuda. The police man had a notoriously big mouth, and if the story of L and Light sleeping together, however untrue it was, got back to his father…Light almost shuddered at the thought. But still, the urge to tease the gullible police officer some more was almost overpowering…

"I said, Ryuzaki and I are sleeping together. You know, as in he's pounding me into the mattress every night." Light said in a very matter-of-fact tone, staring at Matsuda very seriously.

Matsuda was blushing now, looking completely dumbfounded. "I… uhm, Light-kun, why are you telling me this? I mean, I'm flattered… I think, but…"

Light actually grinned this time, unable to hold it in. "I trust you, Matsuda. Just don't go around telling people, okay? I'd like it to remain a secret."

Matsuda was too frazzled to notice Light's diabolical smile. The older man merely nodded and then looked away, quiet, still slightly red in the face.

Light was left to enjoy the peace and quiet until L finished his shower and came to retrieve him. He struggled desperately to suffocate the chuckles that were threatening to rip their way out of his chest as L re-attached the handcuffs, because Matsuda was staring at the chain in a whole new way, red again. L noticed (and Light noticed that L noticed, in a totally casual way) and was staring at the other two in his unnerving way, until the police man broke under the pressure and scampered away, mumbling he 'had stuff to do.'

L turned his stare on Light, but the teen was used to the look, and merely shrugged in response to L's unspoken question.


The bed creaked slightly as Light climbed into it, sighing happily as he made himself comfortable. L was sitting next to him, as usual, on his laptop click-clacking away at high speed. Light had managed to learn how to tune out the noise, and was drifting off when suddenly:


Light groaned, swatting at L's general direction. "Lemme alone, Ryuzaki, I'm sleeping."

"No, you are not. You are talking to me coherently. This proves that—"

"Shut up, Ryuzaki. I'm sleeping."

"But Light-kun, I have a question to ask you."

With a frustrated growl, Light threw back the covers and sat up to look at L. The detective had closed his laptop, and was chewing on his thumb like always, staring, crouched in that weird position. Light gestured for L to get on with the questioning, but L merely sat there. Light felt like he could hear the mechanics in the detective's brain working, as L analyzed him. It was sort of annoying to Light that he felt so in-tune with L's thoughts. That was the sort of thing that people who were close to each other did, and even if the bastard had said they were friends, Light didn't believe him.

Finally, L spoke, deadpanned, as usual.

"Why did Light-kun tell Matsuda-san that we are sleeping together?"

Light was taken completely by surprise, not expecting that sort of question at all. To be honest, he'd figured L would quiz him about something from the Kira case to determine the certainty of a percentage of some sort. Not to mention the fact that the detective was incredibly blunt…

"Uhm…" Light's usually quick mind was failing him. "Well, Matsuda wouldn't shut up, so I told him that to get him to stop talking." He laughed nervously. "It worked, didn't it? He was quiet for the rest of the day."

L did not look amused. "Light-kun, Matsuda-san approached me before he left for the evening and asked me straight out if we were sleeping together." He paused, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Actually, he asked me if I was 'pounding you into the mattress every night', but that is not the point."

Light tried to laugh casually, as if the entire idea of L's hands touching him, stroking him, his lips crushed to his—hey, no! Bad Light, no dirty thoughts about L, he scolded himself.

"So what did you tell him, Ryuzaki? That he's out of his mind? That it was all a joke?"

L shifted slightly before answering. "No, actually…" L looked up at the ceiling, as if there was something there that could hold his interest for much longer than the conversation at hand. "I told him he was correct."

Light suddenly knew how it felt to be Matsuda. He could feel the expression of disbelief on his face, and as much as he tried to change it, nothing happened. The bastard looked… weird. L's expression was hard to see, as it was covered mostly by his wild hair, but what could be seen of it looked… embarrassed? Light had a hard time figuring that one out, because L did not often show emotion. But the unmistakable redness that tinted the detective's cheek brought Light back to reality.

For a minute more, they were both silent. Light's mind had kicked back into gear, rather abruptly. He was working out the right words to say, and had just been about to speak when he realized he could not.

The reason? A pair of lips were touching his own, softly and gently.

Light was too surprised to react. He stiffened. Instantly, those lips became a little more insistent, a little more rough, a little more coaxing. They felt nice; Light had been expecting cold, rock hard lips that matched L's icy exterior. But they were the opposite, warm and full of life, and Light felt himself giving in, unable to resist the sensation.

L tasted like sweets, of course; the man didn't eat anything else but candy and cake, so no surprises there. What did surprise Light was the certain spark of excitement that flickered through his chest. It was almost like what they were doing was causing static electricity, and that energy was eager to attack every part of his body. A pleasant tingling sensation was spreading from what seemed like a direct route from his tongue to the lower parts of his anatomy. And Light felt like laughing again, for the second time that day; there were even more surprises that had been waiting for him, because he'd just realized how experienced L was. Light himself was experienced, and he knew how someone who had never made out before tasted like. L had obviously gotten intimate with other people before, and this thought was amusing, because L was such a social misfit that he could barely talk to people without pissing them off, let alone get close enough to lock lips.

The urge to laugh increased as Light remembered how old he was and how old he thought L was, and how the immature the term 'making out' sounded when applied to them.

And then…

Then there was a hesitant touch to the skin underneath his shirt, cold, rough hands massaging his abdomen, and suddenly, Light remembered who exactly he was kissing in the first place.

Light jumped, his eyes snapped open, and he broke the kiss hastily. What the hell was he doing? Kissing L was not a good idea. Feeling a little panicked, the teen scrambled backward and hit the wall the bed was braced against, breathing rather hard. L didn't move from his position, instead remaining in that odd crouch, his eyes downcast and concealed by his wild hair. Again, as if it was a safety blanket, L's thumb was at his lips, seemingly comforting him.

Light tried to take a moment to breathe, but found he couldn't. He was imagining the continuation of the kiss, the result of what would've happened if he hadn't moved away, and it was making him horny. Never before in all of his years as a teenager had he felt so aroused. It was annoying. It was so god-damned annoying that Light couldn't seem to control his thoughts around L. And that pissed him off, even more than Matsuda's useless rambling, more than Misa's annoying squeals, more than anything else he'd dealt with for the past few months. And the fact that he knew that he was going to forget all reasoning and molest the eccentric detective if L didn't move soon wasn't helping his mood, either.

But he didn't need to worry about that, because L's head suddenly snapped up, an evil sort of mischievous look in his eye. And then, L pounced. Literally.

The two of them went flying off the bed, and landed on the floor, with L straddling Light. A small growl escaped from his throat as his hands resumed their position under Light's shirt.

"Light-kun, I was not done. Please do not make me use the handcuffs."

Light made a half-strangled noise, trying to convey his emotions into an odd mix of anger, frustration, arousal and amusement all in one sound. He ignored L's raised eyebrow, and struggled to get loose.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Ryuzaki?"

L merely regarded him with a blank look, although that mischievous sparkle remained in his dark eyes. "I am finishing what I started, Light-kun. Is that not obvious?"

Light ceased his wriggling, knowing the detective had the upper hand, and settled for unleashing a full-powered glare upon the unsuspecting detective. However, L did not do much more than slightly flinch, which meant that the hands under Light's shirt were still wandering quite errantly.

"What if I…ngh… don't want you to finish?" Light asked, cursing both himself and L as those hands brushed over the now obvious bulge in his jeans. Damn Ryuzaki and his damned skilled hands…

L actually smirked, and Light wanted to punch him for being so smug. But those dexterous hands were very distracting, and Light arched into the touch, snarling at himself for being so stupid.

"Well, it does seem that by your reaction, you want me to continue." The bastard's smirk increased. "So I believe I will."

Another sound escaped Light's lips, and he winced as it did. But then again, if L was willing… Light did need to get his frustrations out somehow. However…

"You are not going to be on top, Ryuzaki." Light tried to say this firmly, but the breathless mumble that came out sounded like anything but confident and strong, like he'd been intending.

L leaned in closer, and Light shivered as cold hands began to unbuckle his belt.

"I beg to differ, Light-kun."