Pairing: Addex. With MerDer, Bang, McStizzie and O'Callie.
Disclaimer: As far as I know, Shonda still hasn't agreed to let me make decisions about Grey's, so I assume I still don't own it. I own hands that want to write Addex, though. They're really cool.
A/N: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Another oneshot. I should rather writer 'Room Service?' or another one of my many stories that desperately need some attention. Instead, here I am, presenting you my second oneshot in one day (yes, they're both written and published today). The beginning's so much better than the ending, but hell, it just happened this way. I wasn't in the mood for writing porn (which would have been my other option).
Does nobody sleep in this hospital?
Addison was pissed. Seriously pissed. She had been on for 36 hours by now without sleep and now, that she finally got a break, she was tired and wanted to get some rest. Only problem was, all the on-call rooms seemed to be occupied. And not just occupied. Occupied occupied. With horny couples who didn't seem tired at all.
Door number one: George and Callie O'Malley
"Oh, sorry.", she'd said and retreated. She somehow had a feeling whenever she'd see O'Malley for the next few months, he'd blush and run in the opposite direction.
Door number two: Mark and Izzie Stevens
"Wow, I honestly didn't expect this.", she'd muttered and shut the door again. So apparently the great McSteamy had gotten in Steven's pants after all.
Door number three: Derek and Meredith
"Okay, I did not really want to see this. Could you please at least lock the door?", she'd asked, disgusted, while Grey had seemed to be hiding under a blanket in abject horror and Derek had grinned as if it amused him.
Door number four: Preston and Yang
"DOES NOBODY SLEEP IN THIS HOSPITAL?!?", she'd yelled, shutting the door loudly and abruptly.
That was why she was pissed. Everyone got laid and she didn't even get a bed. And now she had door number five right in front of her. She tried pulling herself together, so that she wouldn't kill whoever was in this one, but somehow feared she'd rip their heads off. Addison took a deep breath and opened the door.
"I swear, if this is another couple or non-couple in the throws, I'll rip your heads off!", she yelled, not able to hold it back. Probably unfair and really not all that subtle, but necessary. She got cranky when she was sleep-deprived.
"Nope, it's just me.", Alex Karev's voice groaned, "Thanks for waking me, by the way. I'm trying to sleep here."
Oops. Here she was, surrounded by fucking couples and the only on-call room, where there was still a bed available, was occupied by the one guy in whose pants she desperately wanted to get. Sign of god, huh?
"Oh, sorry.", she muttered, "Can I come in?"
"Sure, just don't make too much noise, okay? I've been on-call forever.", he answered, sounding as tired as she'd been only seconds ago. Now, she wasn't tired. Okay, maybe still a tiny bit. Mostly, she was horny. That was what watching people going at it and being in a tiny space with her disturbingly hot intern did to her.
She tried calming down once more, this time for another reason, and laid down on the bed opposite of his. Oh god, she'd needed this... Warm and soft and comfortable...
"Who did you walk in on?", Alex asked after a while. Apparently he hadn't fallen asleep right away, as she had assumed.
"Oh, several couples.", Addison chuckled, suddenly finding it funny, "Callie and her husband, Yang and Preston, Meredith and Derek and, my personal favorite, Stevens and Mark."
That seemed to get his attention.
"Izzie's doing Sloan? Wow, that's a new low."
Which made Addison think about the fact that's Stevens had been Alex' girlfriend not all that long ago. And if he still had feelings for her, that'd definitely suck. Because hell, she wanted him. A lot. And for some stupid reason, maybe because of the severe lack of sleep, the question slipped out before she could hold it back.
"Denny doesn't count. He was okay. I'm talking about me. I wasn't exactly good for her. I just don't seem to be able to treat chicks the way they deserve to be treated."
Which was quite a revelation for someone as unable to open up as him. Maybe he was sleep-deprived, too. And then, another question had left her mouth, this time before she even had time to think about it.
"Is that why you said you're not interested?"
Silence again. She shouldn't have asked. She really shouldn't have. This was bad. Now he was uncomfortable. He'd probably lie. But without a warning, he sighed and admitted:
Which would have made her knees buckle under, if she'd have been standing.
"Everyone messes up sometimes, Karev. You just need to move on from that, you know? Take chances every once in a while. It's worth it."
Again, nothing she had been planning on telling him.
"You wouldn't even want to know how many people I've hurt in my life.", she added, deciding she could just as well let her mouth do the talking, since her brain had apparently already shut down.
"I do want to know stuff about you. Whatever you're willing to tell me, bring it on."
She could basically hear the little smirk on his face.
"You know, you really need to stop telling me things like that if you want me to stop falling head over heels for you.", her mouth chose to say and finally, finally, her brain kicked back in:
"Oh god, I did not just say that!", she exclaimed, mortified.
She could hear her favorite hot chuckle from the other bed.
"No problem. I'm falling head over heels for you, too."
And if anyone ever told her this was not a dream, she wouldn't believe them.
"Do you feel like having sex? I must admit, walking in on all this action did get me a little horny.", she said, grinning. Since she already assumed she was dreaming, she might as well make it a really good dream. She wasn't exactly used to picking guys up, but she'd heard lame lines generally tended to work on guys.
"Sorry, too tired.", okay, that she had not expected, "But I'll take the invitation whenever you decide to ask again."
Then again, thinking about it, she was really tired, too, and sex with Alex Karev? Definitely something she actually wanted to enjoy (and not fall asleep in the middle of it).
"Okay. I'll definitely ask again. If you finally stop pretending you're not interested. It kind of annoys me, you know?"
"Yeah, me too.", he agreed, smiling.
There was peaceful silence for a while.
"Oh, you know what? Screw tired. I can't sleep anyway."
And then, neither knew just how it had happened, they were both on the floor, kissing hard and about to tear each other's clothes off.
Which was when the door opened.
"Okay. This is the last straw. DOES NOBODY SLEEP IN THIS HOSPITAL? YOU FOOLS ARE COMING WITH ME! NOW!"
Apparently the nazi had a difficult time finding a place to sleep, too.
Which was obviously bad. Addison tried getting off of Alex and putting her shirt back on at the same time, while Alex yanked his own shirt back on and attempted to get the lipstick from his mouth and neck. They shot each other a worried glance (apparently it hadn't been a dream after all) and started trotting after the nazi.
Every time they passed an on-call room, the nazi went in, yelled a little and came back out with a disheveled looking couple who looked like they wanted to be swallowed by the ground underneath their feet instead of being at Bailey's mercy.
Addison noticed the looks she (she didn't even want to know what her hair looked like) and her intern got, but at least everyone seemed to be too intimidated by the small Afro-American woman, who was going to kick all of their asses, to make a comment.
After she'd gotten every couple out of their respective rooms and almost literally dragged them to the conference room (that was a few meters away from the patient's rooms, so the yelling that was inevitable wouldn't disturb anyone's sleep), the nazi suddenly looked a lot taller than all of them.
"You fools. Need. To learn. How to BEHAVE YOURSELF! THIS IS A HOSPITAL! THERE ARE SICK PEOPLE HERE! PEOPLE, WHO WANT TO SLEEP! JUST BECAUSE NONE OF YOU CAN KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS-... All I'm saying is, you may be my bosses. BUT YOUR-... PARTNERS ARE MY INTERNS! ALL OF THEM! AND I CAN PUNISH THEM, SO MUCH THAT EVEN THE THOUGHT OF SEX IS GOING TO BE OUT OF DISCUSSION FOR MONTHS! And I can tell just by looking at you, that you wouldn't like that at all. AND WHY IS IT ALWAYS ONE OF MINE?"
Silence. Right now everybody was feeling very uncomfortable in their skin. Very. Very. Uncomfortable. And in severe fear of said punishment. Because hell? The thought of getting no sex was probably the most scary thing there was.
"And now I'm tired. I suggest you all go find someplace to sleep. SLEEP, you hear me?"
And with that, the nazi left the room, not until she had sent everyone a death glare. It was silent for a moment, then Derek asked Addison:
"Since when are you sleeping with Karev?"
Now it was her turn to give a death glare.
"You shut up, I walked in on you and your girlfriend and I have not yet thrown up to digest that image."
Without a warning, Izzie burst out in laughter. Everyone looked at her strangely in the beginning, but joined in soon. Because if there was one situation, where a little laughter couldn't do any harm, it was now.
"God, did you see the look on your faces when the nazi said 'NO SEX'?", Izzie yapped.
"What, it's scary...", Meredith muttered, right before she started giggling and Derek nodded. Apparently they couldn't imagine a single day without sex, let alone months. And noone doubted the nazi's ability to work the interns' asses off so much they wouldn't even be able to move a finger after they were off work.
"I still thought I was dreaming, and then she started yelling...", Alex chuckled.
"I was thinking the same thing!", Addison piped up, "And I walked in on all of you!"
And so everyone was laughing soon, save for Yang, who simply didn't laugh. Until everyone dropped in exhaustion on the floor and the couples (and non-couples) ended up in each other's arms, falling asleep almost immediately. Weird, but that was what happened. It had been a long night, after all.
When Addison woke up face to face with a sleeping Alex Karev, his arms wrapped around her, she was more than just stunned. Apparently last night had really happened. Who'd have though.
Alex opened his eyes, groaning, when she nudged him softly. When he saw her, he didn't seem to know how that was possible, either.
"Hey.", he finally uttered.
"You're interested.", Addison stated and a stupid grin stole its way on her face.
"So are you.", Alex chuckled, "Want to meet me at Joe's at eight?"
They were still snuggled closely together, neither wanting to let go. They were too damn comfortable lying on the hard floor like this, simply holding each other.
"I hope you're talking about eight pm, because we do have to work today.", Addison mocked, quirking an eyebrow playfully.
"I don't think you can find a bar out there that opens at eight am.", Alex answered.
"Okay. Eight pm it is.", Addison agreed, smiling.
The door opened and they looked up, still intertwined. First Bailey, then the chief. Amazing.
"Do I even want to know?", he asked, sounding more than annoyed.
"You don't want to know.", both Alex and Addison answered, which made him frown at them, open his mouth as if he wanted to make a comment about how it was possible that once more one of Bailey's interns seemed to be sleeping with an attending, but closed it again, shook his head and closed the door again. Maybe Bailey was right after all. The doctors in this hospital were nothing but a bunch of horny teenagers.