"Language, Sam!"

SUMMARY: When Trent irritates Sam, Sam comes out with some language that completely shocks Ratchet, because Sam uses some Cybertronian cuss words, and not mild ones either. Oneshot.

RATING T/PG13 for mild violence and cussing (of course)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers. Hasbro and Dreamworks possess that privilege.

CHARACTERS: Trent DeMarco, Sam Witwicky, Miles Lancaster, Ratchet, Bumblebee

Sam wandered out of school, with Mikaela and Miles tagging along, towards the school car park, where Bumblebee should be waiting for him. Sam blinked when he saw that Bumblebee wasn't. He knew he couldn't expect Bumblebee to hang around all day in car form in the parking lot for him, for as a sentient robotic life-form, such an existence would make him permanently offline with boredom, but Bumblebee usually got back in time to take them home.

Miles was still getting used to the fact that Sam's beat up old car had become the newest model, because it was actually a sentient robot who could change form. He had almost freaked the first time he'd gone to the lookout with them and Bumblebee had assumed bipedal form, only Sam and Mikaela's grips on his upper arms stopping him from first falling flat on his arse as his knees gave way, and then from running for the hills, screaming.

Actually, the screaming had been hard to stop.

Once Sam, Mikaela, and Bumblebee had managed to calm Miles down, and convince him that Bumblebee was not about to 1) kill him, or them, 2) enslave the planet (Bumblebee's response to that one had been "Do I look like Megatron?" in a most offended tone of voice) or 3) anything else he wouldn't like, he had actually coped pretty well, introducing himself and asking Bumblebee his name. He was still not completely comfortable around Bumblebee in either car or robot form, although he consented to be given rides to and from school, or anything else involving long walks or not going otherwise. It was Bumblebee's opinion that Miles would get used to him, given time, and Sam certainly hoped so.

"So, where's Bumblebee, Sam?" asked Miles.

"Good question." said Mikaela. At that point, a horn sounded, and Sam turned to see a S&R vehicle nearby, the driver beckoning them over.

'Ratchet.' realised Sam. Which to his mind told him that Bumblebee may not be there, but that it wasn't due to Decepticon attack or anything else requiring the medic, or Ratchet would have been back at Base repairing injuries.

Miles didn't know that Bumblebee was not the only Autobot on Earth, for they hadn't let him know about the others yet. His reaction to Bumblebee, the smallest of the Autobots, had made Sam decide to take it one step at a time. His next plan had been to introduce him to Optimus, who was the biggest but also the most noble of the Autobots. Optimus would be able to reassure Miles of his and the Autobot's intentions, for Optimus was calm and noble, and his voice reflected that.

The plan had then been to introduce Miles to Ratchet, for as a medic (and smaller than Optimus) he would engender a certain amount of trust. It had been Ironhide Sam had worried about, for he had a flair for the dramatic. Ironhide would be bound to want to show off his cannons, so Sam had decided to make sure Miles had a change of underwear and trousers on him for when he met Ironhide.

Sam, Mikaela, and Miles walked over.

"Hi Ratch. Where's Bumblebee?" asked Sam.

"He spotted Barricade following him, so is leading him on a pursuit after angry fowl all around the city." said Ratchet. "He'll be over to pick you up once Barricade loses interest and heads off."

"What?" asked Miles. "

"A wild goose chase." translated Mikaela.

"Who or what is Barricade?" asked Miles. Sam turned a warning look at Ratchet as Mikaela said to Miles "We'll explain later."

"Well, we'll just wait over there then." said Sam.

"Who's he?" asked Miles. "He seemed to know you. And from the way he was talking, he knows that Bumblebee's not just a car either. He was talking about him as if he was a person. And he has a funny way of talking…." Something suddenly clicked in Miles' head.

"Hang on, he's one of them isn't he?" Sam saw the incipient panic in Miles' eyes. The last thing he needed was a hysterical Miles running through the school screaming that they were being invaded by killer alien robots. After the events of Mission City-which had been impossible to cover up and had been reported all around the world-he might be taken seriously, and the Army might end up attacking Earth's best defence and friends against the Decepticions instead of the Decepticons themselves.

It was Mikaela who stopped the situation from going critical, by distracting Miles in the most effective way she had. She threw herself at him, pressing her amply-blessed self against him, and distracting his thoughts from those of alien robots to the awareness of Mikaela's very close contact with him.

"Miles, Miles, it's okay, he's a friend, just like Bumblebee is. He's not going to kill or enslave or harm anyone either, he's a doctor, he heals, not harms."

Miles was about to answer when another voice invaded their conversation.

"Oho, so now you're abandoning Sam for the school weirdo? Way to go, Mikaela."

Trent DeMarco, strangely without his hangers-on, was standing leering at Michaela.

"Ditch the losers, Mikaela, and I'll show you a better time then they ever could." Mikaela turned to look at him, fire in her eyes.

"I can only see one loser from where I'm standing Trent, and it's not either Miles or Sam." she said. "Sam and Miles have more balls then you'll ever have, Trent.

"Oho, so you'd know that, would you, you little ho?" Trent sneered at her.

"Hey, don't you insult Mikaela like that!" snapped Miles. "Mikaela ain't no ho."

Sam forbore to remind Miles of his "bros before hos" remark before he got to know Mikaela.

Trent took a step closer, and smiled cruelly. "You gonna make me, loser?" Miles looked uncertain, and Trent just smiled wider. He suddenly reached forward and grabbed Mikaela's butt.

Miles leaped forwards to hit Trent as Mikaela pulled away and Sam yelled "Get your filthy hand offa her aft!" Trent easily dodged Miles' punch and slammed one of his own fists first into Miles' face, then into Miles' stomach. Miles dropped to the floor, gasping for breath hand up to his nose, which was suddenly streaming crimson. Trent reached forward and grabbed Mikaela's hand.

"Come on, Mikaela, you know you want to. You know you like my buff physique." Trent drawled. Mikaela tried to free her hand from Trent's big ham, without success

"Animal!" she cried. "You didn't have to hurt him! Bully!" Trent started drawing his hand in towards himself as Mikaela struggled to get away. There was nobody else around, no-one they could appeal for to help, and no-one but Miles, Ratchet and Sam to witness Trent's treatment of Mikaela.

"Let her go, aft-head!"

Trent looked up. Sam was stood there, fists and teeth clenched, glaring at Trent.

"What was that you just called me? What-head?" he asked.

"Aft-head. Work it out, or have you got a microscopic, half-shorted microchip instead of a brain?"

That was an insult Trent understood.

"You sayin' I'm thick?"

"No, I'm just sayin' you're a few circuits short of a motherboard, Trent. You're all flesh and no grey matter. All lugnuts and no charm." Sam was smiling, teeth showing, and it was a smile full of danger.

"Mikaela's made her choice. Let her go!" Sam said.

"Make me." said Trent, pulling the now violently-struggling Mikaela closer to him. She clawed at him with the fingernails of her free hand.

Sam struck Trent in the stomach. Sam wasn't usually violent, but Trent's treatment of Mikaela had him enraged. How dare he treat her as if he owned her? Trent wasn't expecting the blow, but although he grunted, he did not loosen his grip. Sam exploded, not with violent action, but with words.

"Let go of her you Pit-spawned, slag-brained, scrap metal, aft-headed son of a glitch!" he yelled. Then he lunged for Trent's arm.

Miles, who was still getting up, was the only one to see the S&R vehicle's holoform fritz and then flicker out at the same time as it let out a gasp of pure shock.

Sam's sudden attack combined with Mikaela's struggles finally allowed Mikaela to wrench her arm free. She grabbed the infuriated Sam's arm, pulling him back and crying "No, Sam, he's not worth it!"

"That fraggin' Pitspawn's been askin' for a kick in the lugnuts since he came over!" growled Sam. "If that glitch-head touches you again, I'll reformat his face for him!"

Mikaela had never seen Sam so steamed. Unfortunately, Trent had both size and strength on Sam, and she was scared that Trent would pulverize him.

There was a roar of engine sound, and a screech of brakes, and suddenly Bumblebee skidded between Sam and Trent, which was just as well for although Trent had not understood all the insults, he had understood the general tone, and he was angry, balling his fists and getting ready to beat Sam senseless.

Trent took one step back, but then headed to go around Bumblebee to get to Sam, but Bumblebee's next actions put all thought of doing so out of his mind.

Bumblebee began to transform.

Trent's mouth dropped open as Bumblebee's form reconfigured from car to robot. Sam and Mikaela backed off to stand by Miles, who was trying to stem the nosebleed caused by Trent's first punch. Sam noticed Bumblebee assume the same protective stance, legs braced, arms flexed, that he had when defending him from Barricade. As he glanced over his shoulder at Sam, Sam noticed his optic-protecting eye-mask was down, and as Sam watched, Bumblebee flicked back his right hand and engaged his cannon.

Bumblebee had assumed full battle mode.

Trent took two steps back, and a dark stain suddenly began to spread over his crotch. He stumbled backwards as Bumblebee pointed his cannon straight at Trent, and he was too preoccupied after that with running as fast as he could to hear a voice say "Bumblebee, no!"

As Trent ran, he screamed, an oddly high-pitched and panicked sound. There was, faintly, an intelligible sentence heard amongst the screaming "It's going to kill meeee!" Then the voice, and the running figure, turned the corner and was gone.

"Bumblebee, are you turning into another Ironhide? You know we do not harm humans!" This was from Ratchet. Bumblebee retracted his mask and put away his cannon as he turned to face Ratchet, who although still in vehicle form, was still clearly pissed.

"I didn't hurt him, though, Ratchet, and I never intended to, although he didn't know that. I just wanted to scare him, Ratch, I hate bullies. Maybe he'll think twice before threatening Sam and Mikaela again." he said.

"Well, get yourself back into vehicle form before Trent gets the local law enforcement, or someone else turns up and sees you. We also need to talk. we're headed for the lookout. Yes, Sam, that means you as well, I particularly want to talk to you. Miles, get yourself in the back of my vehicle, I can use my holoform to do something about your leakage."

"Leakage? What leakage?" said Miles, his voice sounding higher than normal and as if he had caught a cold. Sam realised that Miles was still scared of Ratchet.

"The leakage of that red substance you call "blood" that flows through your systems." said Ratchet.

"He's a doctor, Miles, he won't hurt you, I promise. Bro's word." he said. Ratchet's back door opened, and an attractive brunette stepped out. Miles' mouth dropped open.

"Who's she, man?"

"Ratchet's holoform." said Sam, giving Miles a little push towards her. "Go on."

Miles walked over without another word, and allowed the 'nurse' to help him into the back.

Sam and Mikaela went back over to Bumblebee, who was now back in Camaro form. Ratchet led the way, and Bumblebee drove them to the lookout, where Optimus had sent his message to other Autobots.

Sam and Mikaela climbed out of Bumblebee, who transformed, and then Miles, who had obviously been cleaned up and was holding a pad of gauze to his nose, stepped out of Ratchet. As Ratchet began transforming too, Sam stepped cover to Miles and said "Don't scream, he's friendly, he's on our side, remember."

Sam had to give Miles his due. He shook a bit but didn't scream and didn't run. He just looked up and up, and gasped.

"He's so…..tall!" he said. Sam nodded.

Ratchet turned his burning blue gaze on Sam. "Sam, when you were challenging Trent, I heard you come out with some Cybertronian expressions which are…impolite, to say the least." he said.

"Yeah, well I'm glad of that because I wasn't exactly lookin' to compliment him!" Sam said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I'm sure you weren't, but some of those expressions….I'm at a loss to know where you got them! I'm glad Bumblebee wasn't around to hear them, because he is far too young to be learning such curse words."

"If age is an issue, then don't worry, Ratch, we learn our worst words in the playground, from other kids." Sam said.

"You didn't learn many of those you came out with to Trent from other human children!" Ratchet said. "Where did you get them? Ironhide with his slag-mouth maybe?"

"Actually, no. Bumblebee told me them. It's not his fault, I asked him to. I told him some human ones, he told me the Cybertronian ones, it was a fair trade!" said Sam. Bumblebee hung his head and looked very shame-faced as Ratchet turned to look at him in shock.

"Bumblebee? You shouldn't even know some of those, let alone be repeating them!" said Ratchet. "Has Ironhide been tutoring you in the Cybertronian you shouldn't know? Or using them when he thinks you're not around?"

"Um, no." said Bumblebee.

"Then where did you pick up such foul expressions, Bumblebee?" Ratchet growled. "Surely not off Prime? I've never heard him swear!"

"No, it' wasn't from Prime. You're right. I've never heard him swear either." said Bumblebee.

"Then who? The ship's computer back when we were in the ship? Ratchet asked.

"No." said Bumblebee. "I never used it for any improper purposes."

"Then you overheard Decepticons on the battlefield?" asked Ratchet. Bumblebee sighed.

No, I overheard you in the medical bay, patching up our wounded. "Aft-headed glitch-head" was one of your favourite expressions, I believe." Bumblebee said. As Ratchet looked on in disbelief, Bumblebee managed a ghost of a smile.

"I learned my worst off you, Ratch."