HA HA! ok so i tried a death fic... not so much my style, so i tried the exact opposite and let's hope it works out!

disclaimer- i don't own one piece or any of its characters



"Zoro get your lazy ass up!"

damn, how does she always find me? maybe if I pretend to still be asleep…


"What do ya want?" I knew it was no use pretending, too loud, overly controlling, money grubbing witch.

"It's time that you started pulling your weight around here, so… comparatively your weight and the amount of work that needs doing…" she made a face that said I'm pretending to do calculations that will add up to me getting my way, "you should mop the deck, clean the dishes, hoist the flag, fix the cabin door…"

I stopped listening after that, knowing her, she'll probably just tell, or yell, them to me again. This is retribution from the other day, when I accidentally pushed, ahem threw, her overboard. Not that I plan on doing any of this. I am a grown man I don't need anyone telling me…

"ARE YOU LISTENING? Kami, you are a grown man, I shouldn't have to tell you to do these things!"

my point exactly

"Alright I'm up, I'm up….stupid witch, what do you want me to do?" I decided to humor her

"I already told you shit for brains, mop the deck, clean the dished, hoist the flag, fix the cabin door, bring the water barrels up for Sanji, and…" she smiled evilly, shit, she knows that there is one job that I hate doing, and it's the one job that she always gives to me. I should have expected it though, I mean when has she ever been merciful? "…and clean the bathroom."

I truly detest that job, truly, honestly, really hate that job. There are four grown men, a reindeer, and two women that share the same bathroom. If the word disgustingly filthy, doesn't give you an idea , let me paint a picture: the sinks are covered in hair, toothpaste, and grim, the floor is coated in seaweed and other random sea like things, don't even get me started on the toilet. Every time I get this job I mentally shudder. Of course I would never show such revulsion, I mean I am Zoro I can't let my reputation collapse just because of a revolting bathroom.

"I hope you get it all done, Zoro-kun," I shuddered. I don't see what Sanji sees in her…I might as well get started.

I began to stand up, when she turned around.

"Oh and Zoro, thank you ever so much for that refreshing swim yesterday, I thoroughly enjoyed it. You know what? I probably enjoyed it just as much as you will enjoy cleaning the bathroom. Have fun!"

damn witch