Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Notes: I don't know what got into me. Seriously. I'm currently rewriting "Her Past, Her Present and Her Future", I'm writing my first NC-17 fanfiction and I have to go on with my novel-length story "But Thy Eternal Summer Shall Not Fade", and I wrote this one! I can't believe myself. The thing is, I was obsessing over the next-generation and looking desperately for some stories on the net, but I was looking for some Rose/JamesII stories and couldn't find any! ANY! How is that possible? I mean, people are writing about Teddy/Hermione or even James/Harry, come on.. So I found myself at writing this one.. Thise story is UN-BETAED (I'm not a native-English speaker), and I wrote it in half an hour. And now I NEED YOU TO FLAME THIS, please, FLAME THIS THING, because I don't have the time to write another story and I want to see some terrible comments that will convince me in abadoning this project.. PLEASE... I'm begging you.. Flame this.. please... please... The title doesn't mean anything, I was angry and I swore that I wouldn't write this 'not now, nor never', but it didn't work... FLAME, please!
Not Now, Nor Never
Rose Weasley looked at the little, flying figures up in the air; they seemed so graceful and small from down there that she could barely tell her cousin from the other players. But James Potter Jr. was the one who zoomed in front of the three big circles at the far end of the pitch, and that was trying not to let the Quaffle in. He shouted orders and screamed against his own teammates, even if it was just a training, he was as aggressive as he used to be during a match.
Rose leaned her head against the wooden door of the Gryffindor changing room and sighed deeply, it was freezing cold in the Quidditch pitch and she was grateful that Quidditch didn't mean anything in particular in her life, so that she didn't sit out there cheering for her fellow housemates while they were having a training like most of her friends were doing.
"Hey Weasley, what are you doing here?"
Rose raised her eyes on the boy that was walking towards her, a tall sixth year with golden hair and a tanned complexion. He was wearing the Gryffindor Quidditch uniform and had his broom over his shoulder, he smirked to Rose when he saw her there all alone.
"Come to see me?" he asked, stepping towards her.
Ron snorted. "You wish, Wood," she replied coldly.
The boy laughed, he put down his broom and made his face come closer to hers. "Actually, yes, I do," he whispered quietly to her.
"Wood," called a sharp voice from the boy's back, "get away from her."
James Potter Jr. glared at Wood from the middle of the Quidditch pitch, he was walking with a quick pace towards them, his broomstick in his hand. Around him the other players were landing like falling stars, and soon most of the Gryffindors entered the changing room, someone greeting Rose or nodding toward her.
Wood raised his hands over his head. "We were just talking, James," he said, grinning, "I don't want to touch your little cousin, here."
James walked up to where he was, towering over him of some inches. "I'm sure you didn't want to," he said, his hands on his hips, "you better go and change now."
"Yes, captain," he answered, faking a military greeting, he turned towards Rose and blew her a kiss, she answered by sticking out her tongue and he burst into laughter.
James looked at her and curved his lips in a weak smile. "I better go and change too," he said, walking past her.
"James," she called him as he opened the door that brought to the changing room, "I need to talk to you." Her voice was just a bit more than a whisper and her hands were trembling in her lap.
James turned towards her and smiled. "Sure," he replied, "can you wait while--"
She shook her head. "It's very important," she interrupted him, her voice just a murmur.
James cast a glance at the changing room and then closed the door at his back, he leaned his broom against the wall and nodded. "Let's go this way," he gestured to his cousin, leading her through a door that brought them out of the Quidditch pitch and towards the Lake.
They walked slowly, standing side by side, the cold air hitting their faces mercilessly, Rose shivered even if she was well wrapped in a warm coat, while James was still warmed up by the Quidditch training and didn't feel the cold as he should have. They reached the Lake and stopped on a little shore, where there was no other sound than the hooting of some wild owls.
James turned towards her and before Rose could even have time to stop her cousin, James cupped her cheeks and kissed her, his fingers slowly enlacing in her hair while one of his hands went down to explore her well covered back and push her to him. He passed his tongue over her lips, but when she didn't respond the kiss he slowly moved back, letting her go and looking into her eyes.
He frowned slightly. "What's wrong?"
Rose looked away. "I need to talk to you," she repeated.
"Talk then," he said urgently. He lowered his head and brought his lips to her neck. "Because I want some action," he breathed against her sensitive skin.
Rose pushed him away and looked at him, her face white and scared, her eyes shining with restrained tears. "James, I--"
James frowned. "Wait." His finger flew to her lips. "If you're saying that you want to leave me, think again."
Rose grabbed her cousin's wrist and kept it in place as she kissed his cold digit. "I don't want to leave you," she whispered.
"Then what is it?"
Her eyes filled with fear. "I'm pregnant," she murmured so quietly that he almost didn't hear it.
James' lips curled in a soft smile, while a weak chuckle escaped his lips. "You're joking," he said hopefully.
Rose shook her head, she brought her cousin's hand to her belly and gulped as his hand tried to feel her through all the layers that she needed to protect herself from the cold.
"I can't feel anything," he said as icily as the wind that blew around them.
"It's because it's only been two months," she replied anxiously.
"And is it mine?" he asked, his hand moving away from her flat stomach.
Rose backed a little her eyes wide with pain and shock. "James, who do you think I am?" she asked hurt.
James darkened. "Sorry," he replied grumpily, "I'm just…" His words trailed away as he looked towards the Lake, his brown eyes filled with anger and fear, his fists closed so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He felt the urge to seize something and throw it. "You have to get rid of it," he said, his voice hard like the rocks their feet were standing on.
Rose's lips parted slightly in surprise. "What?" she mouthed.
"You don't want to keep it, do you?" he asked coldly, stubbornly looking away.
Rose gulped. "I-I don't want to kill it," she said quickly.
"Rose," he said, looking into her eyes, "you can't keep it."
"Why not?" she asked, suddenly darkening and crossing her arms, she felt rebellious and hurt by his reaction, that, even if she hadn't expected it to be wonderful, she hadn't imagined it to be so awful.
James rolled his eyes. "We're first cousins, Rose," he blurted, "we shouldn't be together in the first place." He kicked one of the pebbles on the shore and sent it into the water. "Why do you think we've not said anything about us? It's something that not everybody would accept, your father would get a heart attack for example."
She tossed some curls behind her ear and put on her Know-It-All expression. "First cousins can marry in some states, it's not like siblings," she snapped.
"But there are high possibilities for the baby to have health problems," he snapped back, his dark eyes flashing with rage.
She bit her bottom lip. "I don't care," she replied curtly. "There are surely spells that can be performed to prevent the baby from being--"
James snorted, he threw his arms up in the air and rolled his eyes. "You think you can always control anything, don't you?" he asked her. "Well, guess what? You can't control something like this." He grabbed her upper arms almost painfully and shook her. "You have to terminate this pregnancy."
"James, you're hurting me," she complained, pushing on his chest with her fists.
"Say that you'll bring it to an end," he went on, ignoring Rose's protests and shaking her with even more force. "Say it."
"James, no!" she screamed.
"Say it!" His head went close to hers while he screamed and she backed a little, placing a foot on a slippery rock she fell back and James fell on top of her. They lay still between frozen grass and humid rocks, James was shaking furiously, his fingers were still grasping her arms, his face was breathing over her. Rose was moaning painfully as she tried to move from the uncomfortable position she found herself in, her back in terrible pain.
James pushed a knee on the rocks and stood on his fours, he looked down at Rose and sat back on his heels, shaking his head slowly and covering his face with his hands. "It's all my fault," he murmured, while Rose tried to sit up, breathless from the pain.
"James," she murmured, stretching a hand towards him once she was sitting as well.
"We weren't supposed to be together," he said harshly. He raised his head and looked at Rose, pushing away her hand. "You're beautiful," he continued bitterly, "and it drove me mad the fact that we were doing something forbidden." He glanced at his cousin, she was sitting opposite to him, her bushy, red hair a messy entangle of knots and dirt and her face flushed. "We had to pay more attention."
"James," she repeated slowly.
"I just wanted to be with you," he carried on, "you make me want you with all my body and mind, and being with you it's so thrilling because it's something prohibited." He grabbed a rock and threw it in the dark water of the Lake.
"What?" she asked, her hands to her mouth, "what are you talking about?"
James looked at her. "Are you surprised?" he questioned icily. "It's surely what you feel too."
She shook her head and released her mouth, her chocolaty eyes wide with horror. "No," she muttered, then she threw herself at her cousin and screamed, "no! I've been with you because I loved you. I loved you!" She grabbed his Quidditch uniform and pulled at it forcefully, her face screwed with pain. "I loved you!"
James fell backwards, with his cousin over him, he stood still looking at her while she grabbed his uniform, some of his buttons falling on the ground. He didn't have the forces to fight her and he wasn't even sure that he wanted it. With a few words he had destroyed her world, and now, with even less sounds, she had destroyed his.
James grabbed Rose's wrists and blocked her hands on his chest, right at the moment in which she was starting to bang on his ribs, she tried to shake him off, but he kept her forcefully in his hands. "Take back what you said," he whispered urgently.
Rose let out a desperate cry and as she moved her head back to pull her hair out of her eyes, James saw that hot tears were streaming down her cheeks. She tried to move away again, but James kept her in place.
"Take it back," he said more forcefully, "take what you said back."
Rose shook her head, trying hard to escape her cousin's hands.
"I can't!" she screamed. She pulled her hands away from his forcefully, and fell back on the hard rocks, her chest raising and lowering quickly under her coat, her eyes wide with anger and her skin red for the cold.
"Rose, you don't mean it," James said weakly, pushing himself up in a sitting position.
Rose wiped her tears away with an angry gesture, then she pushed her hands on the frozen ground and stood up, smoothing the skirt that had rolled up a little, and the broken thighs.
James stood up as well, he looked down at her and took a step in her direction. "Rose, you can't--"
"Don't talk to me," she replied icily, the wind slapping her curly hair in her face, "never again."
James stretched a hand towards her, but she turned and walked stiffly away, her cold hands stuffed in her pockets, her Gryffindor scarf swinging in the wind.
"Wait!" She heard James steps slipping and stomping on the stones behind her, and before she could even turn, her cousin had grabbed her arm again and faced her once again.
"Rose," he said, his usually steady and self-confident voice completely transformed in a shaky whisper, "you can't keep it."
Rose jerked away from him. "Don't worry, cousin," she said, her voice frozen, "I'm not going to tell anybody that it's yours."
James' eyes widened a little. "Rose, listen--"
"No, James," she snapped, "you listen! I've fooled myself, I thought that you loved me the way I loved you, well I was wrong." She let out a snort. "And now let's play by your rules, I hate you, are you happy now?"
James half-shook his head, his eyebrows joining on his forehead. He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound escaped his lips; he brought his hands back on her upper arms and this time he pulled her towards him with force, crashing her head against his chest in a ribs-crashing hug.
He expected her to try to free herself or to curse him, but instead James felt Rose melting into tears against his lurid uniform, her little body trembling with sobs and sniffles while her hands reached for his back and she hugged him back. James let her upper arms go and brought his own fingers in her hair, caressing her head through her thick curls, he leaned his head against his forehead and kissed her there. "I'm not happy if you hate me," he whispered in a low voice that he hoped it would help soothing her, "you break my heart."
Rose moved slightly away. "It was just a game for you," she murmured, "you didn't give a damn about me."
James took a deep breath. Was she saying the truth? He didn't know, he had surely said that, but he was shocked, and upset people don't say what they think, do they? Maybe he just have to get a grip on his feelings and understand what he felt for her. "You were beautiful," he started, "and I had a crush on you. I've been having a crush on you for years, since even before we went to Hogwarts."
Rose tried to move away, she didn't want to hear those words as much as she wanted to hear what he had told her so far, but James hold her tightly against himself.
"Wait," he murmured, "let me talk." He waited until she relaxed a bit more in his arms and then kept on talking. "I wanted you, but I knew that I couldn't have you, because you were my cousin. You were Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron's daughter, you were Mum and Dad's niece, you were my first cousin." He sighed. "And then that summer at the Burrow, I couldn't resist, you were… you were…"
"No, let me finish," he insisted, "I knew that it was wrong, but I couldn't stay away from you, I thought I was going to die if I didn't touch you, and I dreamt of you, gosh, I dreamt of you every night and even every day. I just wanted to be with you, because it was exciting and thrilling and dangerous, and if they discovered us I knew that we would have been in trouble, and you were anything I needed and I couldn't have been away from you even for a few hours without having my heart aching for you." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he had talked so quickly that for a moment he feared that Rose hadn't understood a word of his rants.
Rose shook her head softly. "You," she murmured, "you just wanted to be with me."
"I needed to be with you."
"Because it was dangerous," she said, "and it sent shivers down your spine, didn't it?"
"Because you are beautiful," he breathed against her forehead, "and I couldn't believe that you chose me among all the boys that were trying to have a go with you."
"I loved you," she replied, her fingers gripping his arms almost painfully. "I chose you because I loved you."
James hugged her even more tightly. "Rose…"
"I'm going to keep the baby," she hissed, "and you will not stop me." She easily freed herself from her flabbergasted cousin and ran up towards the castle. If he wanted the war, war was what he would have got.