-1I don't own Psych. Don't read if you can't stand slash or making fun of slash fans.
Summary: Officer McNab never claimed to be the most observant man on the force, but when his one little observation sends the department in a downward spiral of fandom, how will our favorite psychic and head detective cope?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun was shinning, birds sang, the office was busy with working people, and Head Detective Lassiter's coffee was hot, very hot actually, Buzz noticed. Fortunately it was him wincing from the hot liquid seeping through his shirt, rather than the pretty blond who he had nearly walked into. "Sorry Detective O'Hara, I wasn't watching where I was going." She grinned slightly and shook her head. "No problem. What were you looking at?" He gestured towards the broody head detective's desk.
Currently the resident psychic was laying on it, twitching in show to the people for whom he was demonstrating his abilities, much to Carlton Lassiter's great displeasure. The older man was feebly attempting to drag the twitching brunette off of his desk without scattering its contents. It was to no avail as the younger jumped off spilling the papers all over the floor as he shouted out some information he had just divined. "That's nothing new Buzz." He simply smiled. "I know, that's what's so great about it."
She simply cocked her head to the side, not sure what he meant. He nodded back over to the desk, where people were clearing away slowly and Lassiter was picking up his things. As she raised an eyebrow McNab sighed. "He's smiling." The junior detectives eyes widened to the size of saucers as she saw a light smile slip into that trade mark grimace they had all come to know. "But why?" Buzz felt like slamming his head into a wall, instead he motioned for her to follow him as he walked towards the desks.
It didn't take long for the discussion to be clear enough to hear. "…but Lassie!" You would have had to be deaf not to hear the older man's teeth grind together. "No Spencer. I'm not giving you my handcuffs." That puppy whine soon followed, notably causing the detective to tense. "If I don't have cuffs, how am I supposed to apprehend the bad guys? Or enjoy a date?" Choosing to ignore the last comment, Lassie sat back down to straiten the things on his desk. Shawn turned the other way with a huff.
This time Juliet O'Hara was watching close enough to catch the small smile on her own. Oh dear lord! That can't possibly be! The other officer had already moved forward, extending the coffee as a peace offering. "It's about time McNab! What are you staring at O'Hara?" The blond blinked surprised at the sudden mood shift. "Hey! Jules! Maybe I can talk you into letting me use you handcuffs." The fake psychic waggled his eyebrows. She just rolled her eyes. "Actually, I need to talk to Buzz, so if you'll excuse me." She quickly dragged the man away by his arm.
"What the hell was that," she whispered harshly, eyes still locked on the two at Lassiter's desk. "That's called a smile." She shifted her gaze to glare at him. "Believe it or not, Detective Lassiter likes Shawn's company." The oh really look she gave implied a want for more information. "Lassie, Detective Lassiter, is almost protective of Shawn and likewise, Shawn does his best to make him laugh." She frowned outright at this. "Aside from him, Gus, the Chief, and Mr. Spencer, Lassiter doesn't let anyone talk down to Shawn. He's even shown him off to the kids in the academy." Juliet stared over Buzz's shoulder in shock at the two men, still bickering.
The scariest thing was that McNab was right. Regrettably he found himself being dragged towards Chief Vick's office by a gleeful Detective O'Hara. Jules pushed open the door with no regard for the people in the room. After shoving Buzz in, she quickly pulled it shut and turned back to the room. Buzz stood, uncomfortably shifting side to side. The Chief started to rise from her chair with a frown on her face, and the two officers she was speaking to stared in surprise. With badly contained excitement Juliet strode across the room to Chief Vick.
"Is something wrong O'Hara?" The younger woman took deep, long breaths in order to calm herself before taking. "Buzz has great news!" She still bounced in place as she spoke. "I do?" This caused the attention of the room to shift to him. "Officer McNab? What's the news?" He shifted again, not sure he should be telling everyone. "It isn't really news, exactly." "Shawn makes Lassie happy!" Jules punctuated her sentence with a small scream. The Chief looked back and forth between the two for some way to grasp what she was just told. "Your joking right?" "No! Let Buzz explain." Once again all eyes were on him. After he had explained it, twice, the officers in the room hurried to the glass door to stare out it at the two in question.
Again the feeling that made him wasn't to slam his head into a wall started creeping in. It wasn't that important to him, or that hard to see. He noted that Lassiter had stopped his work and was now looking at Chief Vick's office with confusion and anger. Seeing this the officers backed away from the door and pretended to be chatting about something. Suddenly Vick turned to Buzz. "How long has this been happening?" He shrugged. "I noticed it a few months ago. Honestly I haven't seen anything that would point to them realizing that they are good friends." The two women gasped in shock.
"It's a shame," one officer piped in, "they're actually kind of cute together." He blushed at the four sets of eyes staring in disbelief. Three soon turned into various forms of excitement and the last, McNab's, was utter confusion. The chief quickly coughed to get everyone's attention. "Well, we should probably get back to work. Make sure not to say anything to them, we don't want to disturb their privacy." She smiled at the three officers that walked out before turning to the perky blond that had first dropped this information in front of her. "We can't leave this alone, we all know how stubborn Carlton is. We have to get those two together." Juliet bounced up and down with a small scream of agreement.
- - - - - - - - -
Gus was fairly surprised to find the department so busy. He knew most of it was the last case they had just solved being wrapped up, but there also seemed to be another thing putting a devious smile on people's face. Also to his surprise, he hadn't seen Shawn yet. He started towards Vick's office, almost sure he could find Shawn's location from there. He knocked lightly on the door, turning to note that Lassiter wasn't currently at his desk.
To his surprise he was quickly dragged into the office by a smiling Juliet. "I'm so glad to see you Gus. We were trying to figure out Shawn's favorite color." He frowned not sure what was going on. "Where is he," it seemed like a logical question. "Keeping Lassie company." Gus paused, that was strange. "Um…His favorite color is green." They smiled at each other creepily, causing him to shift his weight to the foot closer to the door, making it easier to run away if necessary.
"Where were you?" He shrugged. "At work. Shawn had let me take the day doing actual work. He was busy with some small cases he said. When I got back to the office he had left a note saying he was heading off for a finally case of the day, but would probably hang out here for a while." Jules seemed shocked that Shawn would go on a case without his helpful friend. Vick seemed more shocked that Gus would let him. "I trust him not to get into to much trouble, now was that all you needed?"
"How well can you keep things from Shawn?" Another strange thing. "Well, even though he's psychic, he can be pretty dense." He laughed nervously, not sure what he was getting into. "The spirits can show him a lot, but if you cover it up well without acting any different, you can for the most part keep him from trying to tune in spiritually." At this Vick raised an eyebrow. "Trying to tune in? You mean it's optional?" Gus quickly raised his hands defensively. "No! Not exactly! A lot of times he doesn't get a choice when a spirit finds it can communicate through him, but he can also ask the spirits to show him things." He suddenly felt filthy for having to lie like that.
Juliet smiled, thinking that could come in handy later, and explained a lot about Shawn. Vick offered him water since he looked so pale. Another thought occurred to the young blond detective. "Is he Bi?" Gus nearly spit out the water he was now choking on. Where had that come from? She grinned apologetically at the poor man now reduced to gasping for air. Having caught his breath his, he now stared incredulously at the girl. Finally a thought occurred to him. "Um… Sort of." That made the Chief frown too. It was obvious he needed to continue. "Well, he's never hooked up with any guys that I'm aware of, but he has no problem with homosexuals. And obviously he is secure enough to tease, any guy he knows, about it." She smiled again, it was really beginning to creep him out.
"So. Where is Shawn?" As the words left his mouth he heard a loud shout coming from the main offices. That could only be Lassiter, annoyed by the perky psychic. The three rushed out to find Lassie glaring at the man who was drinking from his coffee cup. The man grinned as he saw his partner in crime staring at him from across the room. He set down Lassiter's cup as he walked over ignoring the protests of the people he was entertaining. "Hey there Gussy. Sup?"
Gus grinned, finally out of the clutched of the two women. "Not much. Having fun?" A nod was his response. "He's been hanging around for a couple hours now. " Burton Guster turned around to see an agitated head detective standing behind him. "Kindly remove him from my sight." A giggle from Jules caught the three men's attention. She quickly stifled it. "Oh! Who wants to have their palms read?" Gus sighed as Shawn sat down on, rather than at, Lassie's desk and directed people to sit in Lassiter's chair to have a reading. Jules was the first one he pulled towards the chair, and she quickly refused, as did Vick who he offered to next.
"Buzz! Good buddy, you'll let me read your palm, right?" He was suspicious of the two women's behavior, but knew better than to force it, he'd figure it out later. Buzz sat uncomfortably in Lassie's chair, much to the detective's displeasure. Shawn took a quick look over the man as he handed him his hands. He pretend to study the other's hands intently as he kept his eyes closed. "Ah! The spirits around you are shaking! Cold? No, it's something else, their nervous." Buzz nearly drew his hands back. "For more reason than one," the fake psychic whispered. "I hear thunder. Ah! NO! It's a gun! " His voice was back at its max.
"Your training for upcoming qualifications!" Buzz nodded, not knowing Shawn had made time earlier to look through his desk calendar. He noticed black cat hair all over McNab's pants, not like the cat he had given him, and small holes at the bottom. "Meow mix! Ah, midnight…..A kitten, a black kitten! And a cake! Your wife's birthday is coming up! You want to surprise her!" Buzz smiled at that, while Shawn stopped his squirming to pant as though he had just ran a marathon. "Yeah. She liked the cat you got her so much, and was talking about getting it a little friend, so I'm going to give her a black kitten for her birthday."
The room filled with clapping as Shawn raised his hands triumphantly in the air. He began his process with another person, ignoring that Lassiter was becoming impatient with his inability to work. When the brunette psychic began wiggling, he accidentally pushed Lassie's stapler off the desk. Without a thought the older man grabbed it out of the air and set it back on his desk. Shawn stopped his twitchy vision when a heavy hand came to rest on his shoulder. "As much as I enjoy you parading around as a psychic, if you don't stop wiggling your ass against my desk, you'll knock something else off." Shawn grinned apologetically as he went to stand.
"Hey! How about you give Detective Lassiter a reading?" Everyone cheered in agreement with Chief Vick's statement, except for Lassiter. Despite his protests he found himself pushed into his chair, staring up at the green eyed man. Reluctantly he gave the grinning psychic his hands, palm down. The younger man didn't even bother looking at the palms as he placed his hands palm up against Lassiter's. Shawn slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
He quickly ran over the things he noticed: deep circles under the eyes, little sleep; rough calluses on the palms, from holding onto some kind of bar; a bandage on his trigger finger, a cut or blister from overusing; and most importantly the brand of bullets in his desk weren't from the police range, he was going elsewhere to shoot. He pretended to flinch, as if being slapped by some unseen force. "You're still worried….About the case we just solved." It occurred to Jules that he had said we, not I, but he may have been referring to him and Gus. Shawn knew Lassie rolled his eyes, even though he couldn't see it. Another violent jerk.
"You look for distractions! OH!" He flinched again, with gasps from the crowd, this was too easy. "I can see you, you're lifting weights, hoping, AH, that you'll be too tired when you get home to stay awake, to tired to dream." Lassiter shifted uncomfortably, but Shawn wasn't done. Another scream had the crowed riveted. "There is a range by the gym you go to! You, AHHHHH, have been going there every night!" It was a fairly safe bet, that seemed to ring true. Shawn snapped his head back to the front and opened his eyes. He was staring into Lassie's blue eyes, almost unnervingly with his strange, sad look.
"It's killing you." He didn't have to say what, they both knew. Lassie stood up slowly, yanking his hands away from the younger man. "You're not psychic, so don't try to talk about what you don't understand." Everyone stood in an uncomfortable silence as Lassiter walked away. Shawn quickly coughed into his hand. "Oh well, back to work." He then turned to the Chief as people began dispersing. "He's worried, bad. It's getting to him that he sees all of these murder cases." He knew that from the fact that Lassie had almost puked at the last one they were at. "He needs a vacation." The chief smiled. "Then we should give him one."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wow…long chapter for me. This is just something else for me to do, don't worry if you read any of my others, I'm still working on them.