The Broken Ones
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Dedicated to Noble Fool and Afrieal because their reviews rocked.
The entire body of the eleventh division was doing paperwork in the office. Well, not the entire body, just the important ones. We should probably scratch the part about paperwork out of that sentence, too, because Kenpachi Zaraki was sitting at his desk, eyeing a quite small stack of papers contemplating actually doing them as he had been for the past hour. Ikkaku was trying to scratch his back with his sword and was failing miserably.
In fact only three people in the room were actually doing the paperwork. Yachiru was doodling with a red crayon on the back of a report titled "Recent Deaths". Yumichika was busying himself by flawlessly forging the captain's signature on a few reports, but leaving everything else blank claiming it wasn't his duty to remember what unsightly fools did what where. Hinamori was delicately scrawling out words on a sheet of blank paper.
So it was fairly safe to say that the entirety of the eleventh division wasn't doing paperwork in the office; the top seats were merely just in the office.
After another twenty minutes or so of useless silence, the light crinkling of folded paper alerted the male members of the group. Yachiru just continued doodling, oblivious to anything. Their eyes followed Momo as she stood, with tri-folded paper in hands. She pulled an envelope out of the desk and placed her letter inside. She wrote something down on the front and placed it in the out box.
"I'm going to get some rest, good night," Hinamori bowed to them and exited the office, heading for her quarters. Kenpachi grunted at this and the moment the girl was out the door, the three men leaned over the out box to see what the letter was.
"It's addressed to Captain Aizen…" Yumichika said, breaking the silence.
"What do you think it is?" Ikkaku asked, looking at it suspiciously.
"A love letter?" Yumichika mused to himself, squatting down until he was at eye level with the paper.
"Let's open it!" Ikkaku reached for the letter. Yumichika smacked his hand away.
"You can't just open other people's mail, Ikkaku."
"We can if it might be a treasonous note!" Yachiru claimed, setting a picture she drew of a very bloody Captain Kurotsuchi on the desk. "I say we open it!"
"For once, I'm going to agree with the lieutenant," Ikkaku said, picking up the letter. "Not like we can actually mail it to Hueco Mundo anyway."
"That is true," Yumichika said hesitantly.
"And its better we look at it then someone find it and give it to Yamamoto and give out Hinamori's location to Unohana-taichou."
"Enough," Kenpachi finally rumbled, pulling the letter from Ikkaku's hand. "We're opening this for security reasons only."
"Of course we are, Captain," Ikkaku grinned, watching as the captain ripped open the letter.
"What does it say?" Yumichika ventured after a moment of watching Kenpachi's eyes skim over the words.
Kenpachi grunted, setting the note down in front of them.
"This isn't a—" Ikkaku blinked.
"Hinamori would never…" Yumichika frowned.
"Looks like she did," Kenpachi said, refolding the letter. "Yumichika get a new envelope and address it again."
"Yes, Sir," Yumichika glowed, immediately finding himself an envelope. "Any changes, Sir?"
"Yeah, make sure it gets sent to the fourth."
"She didn't sign her name, did she?" Ikkaku grinned. "It just said that he'd know who it was from."
"It's perfect," Yumichika grinned, finishing his script. "Magnificent idea, my captain."
"Ikkaku, make sure it get sent out from Kurotsuchi's office," Kenpachi grunted, smile coming to his face.
"Yes, Sir." Ikkaku took the letter and disappeared.
"Sir," Yumichika ventured, "Do you think it's wise to send a death threat to the fourth?"
"Unohana-taichou," Isane walked into the office, mail in hand. "You have a letter."
"Thank you, Isane," Unohana said, escorting her out of the room. She excitedly opened the letter. She read the letter. "Oh, dear."
"Captain Kurotsuchi, Unohana-taichou is here to see you," Nemu said, opening the door.
"Quiet you dullard," Mayuri ignored the announcement, "Can't you see I'm busy?"
"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that crossword puzzles were that important to you, Captain," Unohana said, sweeping into the room.
"Well, tell her to go away," Mayuri frowned, eight across was difficult.
"I'll tell her," Nemu said, then turned to Unohana. "The captain will not be seeing you today."
"You may inform him that he will see me whether he wants to or not."
"Captain, she refuses to leave."
"Four letters…first one a 'D'…" Mayuri mumbled to himself. "Nemu, what's another word for an idiot?"
"Dull?" Unohana suggested.
"Ah, yes, I knew that," Mayuri wrote it down. "Just tell her I'll see her tomorrow."
"No, I think—"
"No," Mayuri interrupted, "Dull doesn't work."
"Captain Kurotsuchi, I would appreciate it if you—"
"Quit bothering me, you dolt." Mayuri paused. "Dolt!" He scribbled it down.
"Captain," Nemu said hesitantly. "Unohana wants to talk to you in regards to a letter you sent her this morning."
"I would hardly demean myself to send a letter to that woman," Mayuri frowned.
"I'm standing right here, Captain Kurotsuchi."
"Oh, Unohana, how droll…Something about a letter?" Mayuri frowned. "Did one of my reports get sent to you by accident?"
"I'd hope this isn't what your reports usually look like."
"Oh?" Mayuri ripped the paper out of her hands and read it. "Are you threatening me?"
"You sent it to me," Unohana frowned.
"This is a woman's handwriting!" Mayuri glowered. They both turned to look at Nemu.
"Yes, Captain?" Nemu asked, looking from one to the other.
"Well done," Mayuri complemented. "I especially like the part about zanpakuto cutting off her head. Very descriptive!"
"I apologize," Nemu bowed her head. "I did not write it, Sir."
"Oh, if you didn't, then who did?" Mayuri scowled.
"Yamamoto-taichou," Saskibe said, presenting the letter to his captain. "There appears to be a death threat to Unohana from an unknown source. She asks that you put the Soul Society on high alert for another traitor."
"She was threatened?" Yamamoto read through the letter and chuckled. "It's quite graphic."