A/N- I promised myself I wouldn't start anything until I finished two of my in-progress stories... I got one finished, that's good, right? ... right?
Anyway, I decided Red Alert never gets enough love. That's probably a good thing, in retrospect, because he'd probably decide it was a Decepticon plot. Some of these stories will contain slash. First up: Silly Red Alert.
"Hysterical control freak," Slingshot muttered, entering the security code. "Isn't three layers of security outside enough? No, he has to have every fraggin' door on the command deck locked, too."
"Are you sure you should be saying stuff like that?" Fireflight looked around nervously. "He could be watching!"
"Let him. It's a fragging maintenance storage area! He key-coded a slagging parts bin!" He yanked open the door. "He's crazy, and he shouldn't be allowed even near a weapon, much less allowed to be an officer." He raised his voice, glaring at the security camera. "You hear that, you slagging nutcase?" Slingshot stalked into the storage room, ignoring Fireflight's attempts to shush him.
Fireflight lingered in the doorway as Slingshot searched the shelves.
"Don't just stand there, help me with this!" Slingshot growled at his gestalt-mate.
Reluctantly, Fireflight let the door slide shut and went to help Slingshot.
"Here it is," Slingshot grunted, shoving a box at Fireflight. "Let's get out of here." He entered his security code at the door.
"What the slag?" Slingshot muttered. He punched the code again.
"What is it?" Fireflight shifted the box he could see.
"This stupid door won't open."
"Let me try." Fireflight handed off the box.
Slingshot glared at the security pad. "This isn't funny, you neurotic bastard!"
"You don't think he'd really-" Fireflight started.
"Slag yes he would!" Slingshot kicked the door. "He changed our security codes!"
Fireflight sighed, activating his radio. They were never going to live this down.
A few minutes later a laughing Air Raid pulled open the door. "You guys got locked in a closet?"
Our codes wouldn't work!" snarled Slingshot, brushing past him.
"Really? Are you sure you didn't just forget how to open the door?"
"Yeah, watch." Fireflight let the door close behind him, and entered his code.
The door slid open.
"…Maybe the door is malfunctioning?" Fireflight ventured.
"Or maybe you got the wrong code," laughed Air Raid. "Either way, I've got to get in the air; I'm late for patrol already." He waved and trotted off. "Try not to get locked in any more closets!"
Slingshot grumbled and stalked to the lifts, Fireflight in tow.
"I don't even know why they let that nut handle a camera, much less the entire security network," Slingshot muttered, leaning against the lift wall.
Fireflight just shrugged. "It could have been a glitch."
"Sure it could." Slingshot snorted. "I-"
The lift suddenly jerked to a stop. Fireflight tried the controls.
Security override, read the display.
Red Alert smirked at the screen. This was fun.
"You're a bad, bad person, Red," drawled Inferno, sounding more amused than accusing.
"Who, me?" On screen, Slingshot beat on the lift door. "I'm just resetting the protocols. Routine security-net maintenance."
"You're supposed to do that when there's nobody on the lifts," Inferno pointed out.
"Technicality. Scheduling maintenance updates is the responsibility of the Security Director. It's not my fault if they didn't check the board."
"Never mind that you added it about two minutes ago."
Red Alert smirked at him. "Exactly."
"You gonna let them out any time soon?"
They watched Slingshot kick the lift door for a moment.
"Maybe in an hour or two."