Thank you so much to everyone who has supported the show. I have a new episode for you. Its been a while so it may not be quite the same, but I really tried! I can't promise continuing shows anytime soon, this was just a spur of the moment thing that was half written way back when. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the thoughts in my head (which include, but are not limited to Tim! and the HP-obsessed audience!)

George: What's in a name?

Fred: Is that a trick question? Let me think, let me think. What's in a name? … Letters are in a name.

George: That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Fred: Huh?

George: Shakespeare?

Fred: Who?

George: Shakespeare!

Fred: Who's he?

George: Never mind, you're a hopeless cause.

Fred: Fine. Be that way. Just for that I'm not going to tell you that there's something between your teeth.

George: Except that you just did, ha! Wait, what!?! Tim, I need a mirror!

Tim: Pulls a mirror out of his pocket and hands it to George;

George: Obsessively examines his teeth in the mirror;

Fred: What else have you got in there, Tim?

Tim: A nine volt battery, my kitchen sink and an anchovy.

Fred: I hate anchovies.

Tim: I put them on my pizza.

Audience: Collective gag noise;

George: There isn't anything stuck between my teeth!

Fred: Welcome back to the conversation. Besides, that's what I said. If you listened you would have heard me when I told you "I'm NOT going to tell you that there's something

between your teeth."

George: Why I ought to-

Tim: get on with the show!

Fred: What a novel idea Tim! Come on Fred, help me in welcoming our audience!

George: I'm Fred.

Fred: Is that your final answer?

George: You know what I meant, you're Fred.

Fred: Same difference, are you going to help or not?

George: Welcome to yet another episode of The Fred and George Variety Hour!

Fred: We, surprisingly, have yet to be sued!

George: Why would someone want to sue us?

Fred: Not us, just you.

George: Me?

Fred: You.

George: Me?

Fred: Yes! You!

George: What did I ever do?

Fred: Oh, I don't know, threaten the audience?

George: But they were being evil!

Fred: Worshiping Harry Potter is evil? What ever happened to freedom of religion?

Audience: Cheers;

George: Harry Potter?

Audience: Cheers;

George: Shut up!

Fred: George!

George: What?

Fred: If you're not good I will make this The Fred Weasley Variety Hour.

George: You wouldn't!

Fred: I would!

Tim: Ahem!

Fred: Right, well that's our cue!

George: Yes, let's cut the monotony and bring out our special guest.

Fred: Marty the Annoying Muggle!

Audience: Applauds while looking confused;

George: Welcome Marty the Annoying Muggle!

Marty: Actually, its Marty the Muggle.

George: That's what I said.

Marty: No you said 'Marty the Annoying Muggle'.

George: No I didn't!

Fred (to Marty): He just said 'Marty the Muggle'.

Marty: I'm offended.

Fred: See that little brother, I told you he was annoying.

Marty: Hey!

George: Little brother? I'm older than you.

Fred: And you never let me forget it!

Marty: Um, excuse me?


Marty: I thought I was the special guest here.

George: We have yet to figure out what is so special about you.

Tim: Wrap it up guys we're coming to a commercial break.

Marty: But we haven't had a chance to talk about me yet! Are you sure it has to be right now.

Tim, Fred & George: YES!

Tim: That's go to be the first time they have agreed on anything!

Commercial: I'm Stan and when my pet Crumple Horned Snorkack ruined my brand new white carpet I called Winky's House Elf Cleaning Service. They did an abysmal job and stumbled around my house drunkenly for days. I had to hire another company and pay extra for the vomit stains. Thanks Stan. I'm Winky of Winky's House Elf Cleaning Service and I approve this message.

Fred: What would Dobby say?

George: Dobby is most displeased; he must go torture himself now, either that or something about stalking Harry Potter.

Audience: Cheers;

Marty: So now its all about me?

Fred: Sure, why not. So why don't you tell us about how you got your name.

Marty: Well it all started off on a dark and stormy night in the deserts of Los Angeles. A woman named Martha was heading home from work to her husband and their 17 kids. She was unhappy and wanted to get away. She worked as a pineapple farmer and-

George: Let me interrupt you right there Marty, we don't need your life story. Tell us about your nickname 'the Muggle'.

Marty: Funny you should ask, I was just getting to that. So anyways, Martha was a pineapple farmer in Antartica.

Fred: Let me stop you there. I thought you said she was in Los Angeles.

Marty: No I definitely didn't.

George: I'm going to have to back my brother on that one.

Marty: No, I simply stated that it was a dark and stormy night in Los Angeles. Not necessarily stating that she was in Los Angeles. You just assumed.

Fred: And when you assume you make an ass out of you.

Marty: And me.

Fred: That's what I said. He definitely lives up to his name. What do you say we get rid of him folks?

Audience: Cheers;

George: That's got to be the first time they have cheered for something other than Harry Potter.

Audience: Cheers;

Fred: Great, here we go again.

George: You stupid people, stop cheering everytime I say his name.

Fred: Whose name?

George: Harry Potter's.

Audience: Cheers;

George: Argh!

Fred: I'm a great banana, swinging in a tree.

George: What?

Fred: I look like Fred. And Fred looks like me.

George: I am Fred.

Fred: I know, that's what I said.

George: I'm just kidding. I'm George.

Fred: Well obviously, I know I'm Fred, duh.

Tim: Wrap it up guys.

George: Already?

Fred: Yeah Tim, we haven't done a fun activity that then classifies the show as a 'variety hour'.

George: Because we most certainly aren't an hour long.

Tim: Come on guys, let's finish it up.

George: Fine. Calm down Tim.

Fred: Really man, just chill out dude.

George: Not even going to comment on your English slang.

Fred: My English is perfectly fine, allow me to demonstrate. Good night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

George: How do you know Shakespeare?

Fred: You don't? Which turnip truck did you just fall from?

George: But you said-

Fred: Since when do you believe anything I say?

Much love guys, thanks for the support!