Warnings: Language, Substance Abuse, Sexual Situations, ect.
Main Pairing: John Cena/OC
Disclaimer: Oh God, how I wish I owned that man... D I do however own the OCs-- but I would gladly trade ownership. lol.
Summary: Another night at the club, another one of his episodes-- is it too late for a perfect couple? Will he realize what's been in front of him the whole time or choose his bachlor lifestyle over love because of his historic past relationships.
Authors Notes: This is definitely a long ass one-shot... I hope you're not complaining, or whining.. I hate that. Please read and review-- I wanna know your opinions. It's why we have the Review feature, USE IT!
Alcohol 1/1Ashley's POV
I walked to the front door of the club, pushing it open in front of me to just stand there in the middle of the walk-way. Victoria was right, this place was top notch-- it almost felt like we were in Hollywood or something or it could have just been the red carpet I was standing on; either way, it was a very nice place, I liked it.
I took in my surroundings, looking around at the dance floor, bar and private seating in various places around me. I instantly recognized the song playing over their system as "What Goes Around, Comes Around," by Justin Timberlake. I smiled a litte, that being one of my favorite songs; maybe this was going to be a good night after all. I was starting to ease up a little about all my stress. I was actually starting to think I was glad they talked me into coming.
But, as all clubs were, this place was loud; I could barely hear myself think over the music, the people and all-out noise that surrounded me. Not to mention it completely reeked of alcohol, which I personally can't stand, but all in all it seemed good enough for a wind down after our show tonight. We all definitely needed alittle chill time after the past work-week we've had recently.
I sighed heavily as I finally heard Bree, Torrie, Candice, Haley, Maria, Victoria and Mickie finally walk in behind me, laughing and giggling already; they weren't even drunk yet-- I knew this was going to be a long night, like always. Going out for a night with a bunch of party deprived Divas always was.
I turned around to come face to face with Bree first, my best friend on planet earth. I probably wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for my clique of "New Breed Divas," or at least that's what they called us-- Bree, Alexis-Michelle, Haley and myself. We were the new kids on the block true, but they really didn't treat us any different; we'd proved ourselves a long time ago. We came up from the indys straight to OVW, from OVW to RAW together and we were always going to stick together, no matter what.
She looked up at me, her heels being lower than mine, as always. I've always been the one that's big on big heels. "Have you found the idiots yet?" She asked, as I brushed out the wrinkles in my light-colored, jean mini skirt. I looked up, eyeing her with one of those looks on my face. The one she knew all too well; it was very simple for her to tell what I was thinking or feeling, she was my bestie after all.
"No, I haven't seen anyone yet... Do I look okay?" I asked back, totally changing the subject for the time being without actually meaning to. I don't know why I suddenly felt like I needed to make sure I looked better than all the slut-looking, half dressed females that currently envaded the club. I know we're Divas, and I know what kind of outfits and things that we wear but at least we do it with a little class.
The rest of the girls obviously overheard my question to her as they too surrounded us, inspecting me from their own point of view from head to toe. "You're a totally hot bitch! Stop worrying so much!" Candice smirked, throwing her arm around my neck. I instantly laughed, maybe was she was drunk already? She was without-a-doubt the absolutely craziest out of any of us when it came to partying so it was pretty natual for her... I loved her for her personality, well, most nights anyway.
I looked down at my outfit again, eyeing the jean skirt, black thigh-high boots (also known as 'stripper boots') and the black tank top I was wearing. It was simple, and I usually didn't do 'simple' but when you needed as few fans as possible noticing you on your down-time you have to go simple some times. I looked back up at them, smirking arrogantly, like I actually had an ego.
"Yeah, you're right!" I yelled back at her over the music. Candice laughed at me this time, but stopped suddenly when she spotted the boys over my shoulder by the end of one of the many alcohol bars that outlined the dance floor. I turned around, staring off in the same direction.
"There's Cena and Masters... they got us a table... Come on guys!" She grabbed my hand as she started to pull me off in the middle of the other people that invaded this club on what looked to be a nightly basis. I quickly grabbed Bree's with my free hand and we formed a giant string of Divas through the crowd and out to the other side towards the padded booths so none of us would get lost in the shuffle.
This place kind of looked like something I swear I saw on "The Hills" last week when I was catching up on my TiVo shows except less MTVish but as I got closer to the tables that were already full of WWE Superstars the background, the people, the noise-- it all seemed to blur and fade...
I glanced around seeing John, Randy, Copeland, Jeffery-Nero, Matt, Carly, Kenny, Chris, and Punk already sitting around the table in a sea of empty glasses. I sighed contently to myself when I looked down at him before he had a chance to realize I was even there. God, he looked amazing, fuck that whole you can look but you can't touch rule. So what if he was my friend? I could care less about that.
I barely had enough time for that thought to cross my mind before he did look up at me and I grimaced a little, seeing the look in his baby blue eyes. I knew he was still pissed at me, even if he didn't want to admit it. I'm almost positive I could have been wearing absolutely nothing on my body and he still wouldn't have given me more than just that glance and half-fake smile... That made all that stress come flooding straight back to me.
Things were so akwkard right now between JC and I, it wasn't even funny... He knows I value him as a friend but he also knows how much I hate when he brings random girls back to the hotels. I've seen him do it at least four times in the last week. Not only is it unhealthy, it's a passtime he really needs to get over. He needs more than a million one night stands. I wish I knew what it would take for him to finally see that. The few problems I have with John are slowly tearing our friendship apart.
But hell really didn't hit the fan until I finally called him out on it. He knew how pissed I was about it, but he had put me on 'the silent treatment' since our screaming match a few days ago; I just tore into him about everything... It takes a lot to get Cena mad... especially that mad, but I magically found a way to do it. I just want what's best for my friend, he's always looked out for me and I'm just trying to return the favor; what's so wrong about that?
Things are just so screwed up right now... and I'm basically at the point of being completely helpless-- at this point there's nothing else I can do. At this point, I was even afraid to actually sit down at the booth with the rest of my friends just because of how pissed he looked to still be at me, even now... at a time when he would normally be the life of the party he looked like he was made out of stone. He didn't even flinch as he downed a shot of vodka.
Another round of drinks hit the table, as my eyes locked with Punk's, rolling instantly. All the non-straight-edgers grabbed a shot glass, Cena obviously being one of them as he finally moved a little at least telling me he was still alive. I hated that he drank too--another one of our problems, and he knows it---is that wrong of me too? I've seen what it can do to people and I don't want him to turn out like that...
Even though I know I can't force everyone to be straight-edge like Punk, Alexis and I, I'd think once you've gotten alcohol posioning more times than you have fingers and toes and you have nights where you can't even remember your own name-- you'd know when to admit you have a serious drinking problem. Would I call JC an alcoholic? Probably not, it wasn't really like your normal, run-of-the-mill alcoholic... he just drank way too damn much when he went out.
My eyes drifted else-where finally when I looked back behind me, hearing the voice I knew quite well. I smiled brightly watching Adam get up from his seat and walk up to stand in between Aubrey and I to plant a small kiss on her awaiting lips. She'd been dating Copeland for almost three months now; since Amy left the company and they decided to call it quits mutally. They're still on good terms and they talk regularly.
"Hey Edgemister," I said, wrapping an arm around his back, when he finally got close enough to hug me. He smirked, that Canadian arrogance flooding his features as always.
"Hey Punkster," he said with an even bigger smile as he pulled away from our embrace. He had called me Punkster since I could remember even though I couldn't remember the reason why; it was completely random and the nickname just stuck. At first it bugged me, I thought it was lame, but I just let it go-- it's Adam after all, and that explains enough right there.
"You didn't think I'd let y'all miss out on the party did you? I'm glad you guys finally decided to show up." He said matter-of-fact as Masters passed him a shot of Vodka. Adam took it, downing it solid.
"We would have been here sooner if Ash-tastic over here wasn't so app to stay back at the hotel like a fun-sucker.." Haley piped in, recieving a medicore slap to the arm as I eyed her. Adam laughed, putting the empty glass back down on the table with the others.
"No kidding, it took me almost an hour and a half to pull her out of the bed and the ice cream spoon out of her hand." I wipped my head back around knowing good and well Bree had said that loud enough so John could hear that I'd be sulking around over him when I wasn't at the arena putting up a decent front.
"Bree! Shut it would you? Damn.." I stood there, hands high up on my hip bones trying my hardest not to slap her too for her trouble but then my eyes silently fell to Cena to see if I could tell if he'd heard her. He obviously hadn't as he sat down another empty shot glass himself, carrying on like he'd been obilivous so I hoped he had.
I ran my eyes over the table quickly counting seven empty glasses in front of him already. He suddenly looked up, locking his eyes on mine again and my breath caught in my throat; he could probably sense I had been staring. He looked a little depressed too, his deep baby blue eyes hinted he was maybe even a little sad but I looked away quickly, facing back up at Adam like nothing had happened.
"Um, I wanna dance... dance with me." I asked him as I took his hand in mine just as "AYO Techinology" started to play. He just laughed, following behind me. Bree was never worried about Adam and I doing the things we did, we're just friends and that's all it would ever be. Plus, I'm sure she knew I just wanted to get away from John for the time being so she didn't try to stop me from taking him away. He was more like my big brother than anything anyway, I could never see him romantically-- besides, he loved her and it showed, there was no room for adjustment with that. Adam and I were close, and I trusted him with my life and that's what mattered to me most.
I watched her pull Adam to the dance floor and I found myself rolling my eyes. Not at the fact she wanted to dance with Adam, I could honestly care less about that; I wasn't worried about her stealing my man or whatever but I could tell she was secretly trying to dodge the reality around her, as always. She was about to enter into her random man mood I could tell... I could see it coming from a mile away. The same chick that got onto man-whore of the year over there also had a tendency to find em', do em' and leave em' too every now and again; especially when she didn't want to face whatever she happen to be going through at the time. I know she doesn't like to deal with her emotions 24/7 like she has been doing for the last three months or so but she couldn't hide from them much longer. They would start to hunt her down before long, and I didn't want to see them blow up in her face like I thought they might end up doing.
I turned slightly, locking eyes with Haley and I knew she could tell what I was thinking; she knew Ash just as well as the rest of us, not to mention she was making it quite obvious even though she wasn't meaning to. I grabbed onto Haley's hand, pulling her back to the table as we sat down beside Orton (Haley's fathead) and straight across from the biggest dumbass I had ever met in my life... Cena; of the John varity to be exact. I sniffed, eyeing him up and down as I tried to catch his attention even though I was pretty positive that he was already smashed off his ass...
"Bree, what the hell do you want, huh? I'm busy with the alcohol right now... I haven't even looked at any of the bitches yet. Vodka first, then ass..." he mumbled, I could instantly tell he was more drunk than I thought and over halfway to being completely passed-out--- but that was normal for him these days. Everytime we went out as a group he was the first one to get drunk, and the first one to leave whatever sleezy place we had found for the night and head back to the hotel with another random flee-bitten skank under his arm.
I suddenly felt Randy's hand on my arm from under the table as he reached across Haley. I looked up at him to see he was eyeing me now, silently telling me not to start shit with Cena tonight, like I always seemed to be able to do. It wouldn't be the first time I've gotten into a verbal fight with him; especially in public, the only place he ever got drunk as it would seem. I rolled my eyes at him though, getting even more upset the longer I sat there watching him drink the way he was, right in front of my eyes. This had gone far enough, far too long for my liking anyway. He was making Ashley's life complete hell on earth whether he wanted to realize it for himself or not; but I for one didn't appreicate it in the least; she is my best friend afterall, and I won't sit idly by and just let it happen. It pissed me off even more still that Orton wanted to take up for him at a time like this. They were best friends too I know but he couldn't condoan this; no one could.
"You know Cena, I'm in the right mind right now to slap the taste of that fucking alcohol right out of your mouth, you know that?! Although you've probably had too much already to even do that much... but I have to be honest with you, you're one fucked up, son of a bitch!" He looked at me again, his jaw dropping a little. It was probably because I'd never gotten that colorful with our fights before but that was before I found my best friend in a puddle of tears, Kleenex and a tub of Ben&Jerry's finest watching The Notebook.
"What the fuck Bree? How are you gunna come over here and start talking shit again? I've had about enough of your fucking mouth lately, alright?!"
Oh. No. He. Didn't.Haley knew it, Randy knew it and they without a doubt saw it coming-- I pretty much just snapped right then.
"You've had enough of my fucking mouth Cena? Well, let me tell you something you self-centered asshole-- I've had about enough of your damn exsistance!!" I leaned over the table and knocked his hat off his head with a flip of my hand. I stood up a little, so I could tower over him, look him in the eye to try and scare the hell out of him all at the same time. I pointed my index finger directly at him as I carried on full force, trying to once and for all make a point.
"You think you're sucha player don't you? You go out, sign a few autographs, go to work, wrestle your match; you sit pretty with 7-figures and then at the end of the night you get shit-faced and go home with the whore that happens to draw the lucky number... But yet-- while you're out having the fucking time of your damn life I get to sit and watch my best friend beat herself up inside day after day all because you don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself!! Ashley has done nothing to you but care about you, and try her damnest to help you any way she possibly can and all you can see is someone trying to take away your "ass!" Well, I hope you're fucking happy-- I hope you're just fucking happy because you're destroying the only legit person in the world that could ever love you, for exactly who and what you are-- a dead beat drunk!"
I stopped, trying to catch my breath but as soon as I did I felt Haley pulling on my arm to make me sit down. She flung me back in the seat as Orton and her stared back at me, obviously for making such a scene in this bar. But, I'm Bree-- it's not like I care what they think anyway. I looked back at Cena as he just sat there, he hadn't said a word yet-- I'm pretty sure he was still trying to figure it all out; he was drunk, it would take him longer to process...
"John.." Haley started, as he continued to stare back at us, almost as if he was some-what confused-- which didn't surprise me in the least. I figure I could let Haley have the reigns now anyway-- she was always the one that could put all the mushy stuff in to have it all make sense in the end. The New Breed was an awesome clique like that.
I watched John's head move a little so he was looking at her instead of me; good, at least his motor skills were still in working order and the alcohol hadn't completely shut them down yet.
"John," she repeated again. "Listen-- what Bree is trying to say here is we all know why you are the way you are. No matter how hard you try to hide it-- we know what it feels like to hurt over someone that has treated you like Liz did. We all know how it feels to be cheated and used. We all know that we want to just push it aside and never think about it again. We do things to take our minds off of it. Drugs, booze, sex, whatever. Anything just to make the pain stop for even a minute. But honey, it's never going to go away like that. What you're doing is numbing the hurt, not eliminating it. John this isn't you! You know that! God damnit boy! You can't just, put relationships on the back burner for life because of one bad experience. And I know what you're gonna say, "But she was the love of my life." Honey if we all thought like that, there'd be a lot of single, alone people in this world. You can't just dwell on what happened to you before and think it's bound to happen again just because it's you! My last boyfriend was the love of my life too, and he stepped on my heart and slept with my best friend. Yes, I was heartbroken. Yes, I was upset. Yes, I swore off men for a while. But I didn't go throwing myself around just because someone liked my body. But for some reason that's how your dumbass meathead is deciding to think! You can't even see that someone wants to help get rid of your pain. Someone who doesn't want to screw you or be with you just for your money or just because your John-fucking-Cena! Someone wants to help you because they love you so damned much they could burst. Someone wants to help you because she sees beyond the accolades, beyond the money, beyond the wall you've managed to put up..." She stopped in a huff, sighing heavily she took a pause in her words.
"I don't even know why I'm bothering. I'm talking to a brick fucking wall! But you listen to me Cena, and you listen good, ya got me? You only live once, and if you continue this, you are going to be one lonely, bitter bastard for a long ass time... for the rest of your damn life-- is that what you want?"
Well-- that wasn't exactly what I had in mind coming from her but maybe it took her acting some-what out of character like that for him to see the light of day. I hope.
"Haley, what do you want me to do? Just what do you want me to do, huh? Just forget about everything-- run to her and immediately expect her to give me the world? You say you know how it is, how I feel about Liz and how she fucked up my life... obviously you don't, or you would know how hard this has been for me. I wish I could just forgive everything that happened with her and be with Ashley just like that but... I just can't, okay?!"
I seethed, leaning towards him again to grab his chin and jerk his face towards me again. Maybe if he didn't drink so damn much, he'd be able to understand what we were trying to say here.
"You know what John-- fuck it. Just fuck it, okay? If you can't see the difference between the way Liz treated you on her best damn day verses the way Ashley treats you every damn day of her life-- you really are the biggest waste of fucking air I've ever seen! You never used to drink like this, you didn't ignore your friends-- and you sure as hell didn't sleep around THIS much! But now you're pissed off all the time, you don't talk and you treat the one person that really, honest-to-God cares about you like she doesn't even exsist! God, you're fucking worthless... and that's why, in a way, I'm glad you're so stubborn; she doesn't deserve you anyway!"
Before he could say anything else to me I felt Randy grab my arm and pull me out of the booth, bringing Haley with us-- "Alright, on that note I think it's time for you ladies to come with me... let's leave John to himself right now, eh? I think that's enough bashing for one night..."
I didn't even have time to protest before Fathead-The-Freak carted us off towards the main bar.
John's POVI watched Orton pull them off towards the bar-- even though my vision was slightly blurry. God, as if I needed them to make this any harder for me... I didn't need to complicate things any more than they already were; I had enough shit I had to deal with as it is.
I took another shot and chased it with another full beer. I sat there a minute, staring at the table top, feeling my lungs burn from the countless shots. Sighing heavily, I finally looked up when an Akon song started to play over their system. My eyes fell on Ashley as she danced along to the music, her skin glistening with light beads of sweat-- her hair was down, in her face but I could still see her smiling for the time being. She grinded against Adam, his hands on her hips-- I'm not going to lie, I could feel the jealousy quickly run through me. It would be a damn lie to say I wasn't attracted to her-- or that I didn't wonder what it would be like to be with her.. like that.
God... I'm not supposed to be thinking like this-- I have to keep my head straight, I can't let myself fall for another chick like that; I can't let myself fall in love again. I can't handle that again... I'm not ready.
I sighed again before picking up another shot glass, tearing me eyes off her after a few minutes. I seriously can't deal with this... I don't know how.
Ashley's POVAdam and I finally walked off the dance floor, breathing heavily. We went up to the bar as he got the bartender's attention with a flick of his wrist. "Two ice waters," he asked, smirking back at me. "I gotta drive back to the hotel so I figured I'd be Straight-Edge with you tonight."
I playfully rolled my eyes at him, giggling a little. I wrapped a hand in my hair as I flipped it around behind me, out of my face. Adam was an amazing guy-- he and Orton were like the big brothers I never had growing up. They were always there when I needed them-- especially when it came to John.
I sat down on a bar stool as the bartender sat our drinks down in front of us and Adam passed him a twenty. He sat down next to me as I took a straw, put in it my glass and sipped it.
"Your match tonight went well," I said, watching him look at me with his famous Canadian smirk.
"Eh, it was alright. Orton hasn't really been on his game lately though." I laughed, shrugging a little.
"I'm sure he would try to convince you otherwise." He laughed too, nodding slightly.
"Oh, I'm sure he would-- no doubt. But, your tag-team match with Bree, Haley and Alexis was great-- I haven't seen stuff like that from our womens division in a long time; probably not since Amy, Trish and Molly-- that whole group of ladies." I blushed, rolling my eyes at him again.
"Please. My name or my wrestling doesn't deserve to be put in that line up just yet, Adam." He chuckled, moving his straw around in his glass.
"Oh really? Have you seen Torrie, Candice, Maria or Ashley Miz in the ring lately...?"
"Okay... maybe I deserve a little credit..." I smiled as he pushed his blonde hair behind his ear on one side where it had fallen into his green eyes.
"How is Amy doing by the way?" I asked, watching his eyes light up at just the sound of her name, he couldn't help it. I know he loved Bree beyond what words could say but they to had been so in love during their time together. But trying to keep their relationship under the table with the whole Matt thing ultimately it just didn't work. They decided to go their separate ways and things had finally settled down since Amy's WWE career ended in November. Adam took a while to ask Bree out and even longer to admit his love but they were both trying to keep their relationship very chill because of his past which was understandable.
"She's doing really good actually-- The Luchagors are working on the album and it's due out before summer."
"You guys are hooking me up with an advanced copy, right?" I asked, passing him a cheesy grin.
"I'm sure Amy will hook you up with everything that is, The Luchagors."
"Good, they're only my new favorite band! ...Have you even been able to see Amy lately?" I asked, knowing how busy we had been since the beginning of the year... not to mention, I know that Bree's secretly still a little jealous of her and what she had with Adam.
"It's been a while with all this WrestleMania prep, and Vince adding more houseshows and appearances. I haven't been home much at all--plus I'm with Bree all the time and I don't think Amy's in a place right now where she wants to see us together... but, she's happy for us. I actually went down to her place in Atlanta to see her show at the Star Bar a couple weekends ago but with our shows, The Gors shows, working on the album and her working Indy shows on the side-- it's been damn crazy trying to keep up with Amy or Jay for that matter, I haven't seen that guy in ages... But! Amy is flying in tomorrow to spend the week with the roster to visit with some old friends..." My smile instantly got bigger, grinning more.
"Really?! That's great! I miss her so much! It's not the same around here without her. When does her flight land?" He looked down at his watch.
"Wow, it's already almost three in the morning... her flight lands at 10:45am. I gotta get going, I need at least a few hours of sleep before then. Bree gave me the okay to be the one to pick her up from the airport." I jumped down off my stool as he did the same.
"Hey, do you want to get together and do lunch with all of us sometime later.. today?" He asked, smiling. "Everyone can meet down in the lobby say-- 12:30pm?"
"That sounds great Adam, I'll be there and I'll see you then. Thanks for coming tonight and drive safely!" I gave him a quick hug before he looked up.
"Alright, sounds good to me... now to find my Breeface..." I laughed, watching him walk off to search the crowded area around us for his MIA girlfriend.
Soon after Adam and Bree had left the club I managed to find my way back from the bar to the table. When I finally found it again only Torrie, Carly and... John were around. Figures... my stupid luck.
"Hey... where is everyone?" I asked, walking up to them. Torrie looked up at me, yawning.
"Bree left with Adam naturally, Haley and Orton left too-- I don't know where they ran off to though, come to think of it-- um.. honestly, we don't know where anyone is at this point. This place is huge-- Victoria was definitely right in praising it so much." I nodded slowly, she started again-- "I think we're all getting ready to pack it up and move it out though-- it's getting pretty late. You ready?"
I paused my answer before it even had a chance to leave my mouth. I glance over towards John and I could tell he was drunk off his ass completely; there was absolutely no arguing that fact, he obviously couldn't drive. But even more surprising than that, there was no slut in sight tonight...
"I think I'm going to hang back, he's pretty drunk and I can't let him drive." She looked at me with one of those looks.
"I'll get Carlito to drive him back if you want me to, it's not a problem." I gave her a half-smile, hugging her as she stood up from her seat.
"Thanks, but I think I can handle it... I'll see you in the morning."
When everyone was finally gone I uneasily sat down at the table with him, right in front of him. At first, I didn't really want to be here, much less talk to him directly... but I couldn't leave him here by himself; something made me realize tonight he was worse off than he normally would have been.
"I know you don't want to be here," he slurred, almost as if he could read my mind-- which seemed to happen a lot. "Just leave. I can drive myself..." He tried to get up but instantly fell back down in his seat as quick as he stood.
"Yeah, I can tell you're really in a condition to be able to drive." I replied, standing up to help him up this time, stringing his arm around my neck. I balanced him as we both began to walk together as one towards the exit. "Come on Cena, let's go..."
We got as far as the front door and my heart sank. It was absolutely pouring rain outside. It was raining so hard I could barely see the parking lot at all. "What did you drive down here?" I asked, looking over at him.
"A black... Explorer."
"Where are your keys?" I watched him pat around in his pockets as he finally stood on his own without my help.
"Shit.." he muttered and I felt the lump in my throat rise up again.
"Tell me you didn't lose your keys..." I whispered, rubbing a hand over my face trying to relax my muscles. He shook his head, staying silent. He had obviously lost the keys. He laid his head against the glass of the door after a minute or so-- he always seemed to get dizzy when he was drunk.
"John... look at me--" He gently pulled up his head, without complaint, looking back in my eyes. He phsyically looked horrible-- the color had drained from his face and lips to a pale color, not to mention the disoriented look in his eye; I put my palm up against his forehead grimacing even more, he was burning up.
"How many drinks did you have tonight?" I asked. He blinked a few times before answering as he took off his sweatshirt--throwing it down to the ground without a second thought.
"I don't remember..." he whispered-- "It's really hot in here," he breathed. "I'm really hot..."
"You've got another high fever-- and it looks like we're walking back in the rain so that should cool you down-- before we both end up sick.." I grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor, slipping it on myself with the hood up. I paused a moment as I inhalled his scent while he was too busy staring a hole in the ground.
Finally taking his larger hand in mine I pushed the door open and carefully walked him out. Running to get back to the hotel was out of the question with him in his current condition so we were just going to have to walk and get soaked for the time being. He probably just had yet another case of alcohol poisioning...
After a while of walking in the cold, some-what hard rain he finally started to walk on his own but I still held his hand, just in case. We were both extremely cold and shivering on and off but the feel of his hand in mine, our fingers laced together took my mind off everything else... at the same time, it made how I really felt about him and what we were going through that much harder to deal with.
We had made it almost the whole first two blocks when John suddenly started to fall behind, walking even slower than before. I looked back at him, his t-shirt clung to his body like a second skin and I knew his jean shorts must have been weighing him down as well.
He was even more pale now than before, except now his lips were slightly a blueish color and I could still see that disoriented look in his blood-shot eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked, watching the rain drops slip down his smooth, tan skin.
He tried to nod that yes, he was okay but I knew him better than that. "Come here.." I told him as I walked him over off the sidewalk into a little park area. Sitting down next to him on a old, wooden bench, the rain still poured down on top of us but I knew he needed a minute. I'd dealt with him like this before-- it was the same every time.
I rubbed his back gently, as best as I could through his soaked t-shirt as he finally started throwing up all the alcohol he had consumed earlier in the night. I had expected it, it wasn't a surprise at all. After about four or five times he finally stopped, sitting back up against the back of the bench. I grabbed my purse from my side and took out the water bottle I had had earlier at the arena. "Here, drink this.." I told him as he slowly took it from me, washing his mouth out a couple of times before finally downing the rest.
"Thanks.." he whispered as I took the empty bottle and put it back into my bag. I took out a piece of gum this time, handing it over to him as well. "You don't have to thank me... really. But we gotta walk some more, you need sleep and we can't stay out in the pouring rain forever..."
About 45 minutes later I walked him into the hotel, through the lobby about four in the morning. I could feel the stares of the few people who stood around us but I was too tried at this point to care. As soon as we got in the elevator we both leaned up against the back wall, I sighed heavily. "What floor are you on?" I asked softly, but I could instantly tell he couldn't quite remember for sure.
"It's okay," I whispered. "Don't worry about it, you can crash in my room tonight." I pushed the seven at the doors finally closed in front of us. After a moment of silence he sniffed a little, before speaking up.
"Are you sure?" He asked quietly, looking over at me was I just stood there wet, in his sweatshirt even still.
"Yeah, it's fine... it's not like you haven't done it before." I passed a small smile to reassure him.
I unlocked the door to my hotel room before walking in and moving out of the doorway for him to follow in behind me. I closed the door only to lock it again and flip the lights on by the switch. I turned around to see him squinting in the bright light.
"Oh sorry about that... I forgot... Here, I should have something you can change into to get out of those clothes." I walked over to my suitcase before pulling out a Cena t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts. I put them on the edge of the bed as I grabbed some clothes of my own.
"It's just some stuff you've left with me over the last couple of weeks-- you can change in here. I'm going to go take a quick shower." I softly smiled to him as I went into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.
I made sure the water was as hot as I could stand it, if only to knock the chill of the rain off of me. It felt good to get those wet clothes off and step into something much warmer. I let the water run against my skin as I rewet my hair. I grabbed my coconut shampoo-- I had just lathered up my hair when I heard the knock on the door.
"Yeah?!" I questioned, laying my head back into the shower head to rinse the soap from my hair. I could hear John try to talk, but I couldn't make out what he was saying through the door between us.
"John, I can't understand what you're saying! Open the door!" I heard it crack open as I finally finished up washing my hair with some conditioner. "What were you saying?" I asked, knowing he could hear me better now.
"I was just saying I wanted to take a showere too, when you're done-- if that's okay..." I started soaping up with my bodywash while listening to him.
"Oh okay, yeah that's fine-- you should probably do that just to get the chill off anyway. Gimme just a second and I'll be out; I'm just about finished."
"Okay.." I heard him whisper somewhat over the water before closing the door back. I turned off the water and stepped out to wrap a towel around my body. I dried my hair a little with another smaller towel, shaking most of the water out.
I sighed, looking at my pile of clothes on the counter-- leave it to me to leave my cami out there when it just happened to be a guy in my room. Oh well, he was going to take a shower anyway. I'll just go out there and change and we can switch places.
I grabbed the pile and held them close to me as I reopened the bathroom door to see John sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, I forgot my shirt in my suitcase. I'll just get changed out here and you can go ahead a take the bathroom."
I grabbed my black cami from my bag as I watched him finally look up at me. An instant look of shock washed over his face. "What?" I asked lightly, a small smile rising up on my features.
"Oh.. um. It's nothing, uh.. I'll be back.." He stumbled with his words before he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him this time. I let a slight giggle pass over my lips. I do believe he liked seeing me in nothing but a towel...
John's POVI'm taking a shower in a girls hotel room that just happens to be my best friend who may-- or may not be in love with me... I'm half drunk, fantasizing about her in towel... Ugh.. I can't do this, stop it Cena! Just because she is unbelievably gorgeous... hot as fucking hell-- any way you look at her, doesn't give you the right to think you can just go out there and sweap her off her feet-- besides, after the way you treated her tonight she probably hates you now...
I've gotta stop talking to myself.. I never have anything good to say...
I walked out of the bathroom a good 10 minutes later in just the shorts she had kept for me. I saw her laid out across the width of the bed wearing a pair of short-as-all-hell shorts and a little black tanktop looking thing; God, she looked amazing...
I refocused to see she had been reading the newest WWE Magazine but currently looking up at me, smiling a little as she pulled herself up to sit indian style. "Hey.. how yah feeling?" She asked as I sat back down on the edge of the bed beside her.
"Better... much better now thanks to you." I chuckled half-heartedly. "Thanks for putting up with my stubborn ass like you do..." She giggled a little, touching her hand to my bare shoulder blade from behind. Her now warm skin against mine sent a chill over me.
"You don't have to thank me... That's what friends are for right?" I grimaced a little as she mentioned the friends part before looking over at her, my eyes on hers. I don't know how long I just stared back at her but after a while I could feel my body slowly leaning towards her, my face inching closer to hers.
"Yeah... friends..." I whispered softly, my voice trailing before I felt my lips brush against hers in a kiss that felt like it the room was suddenly spinning in slow motion. I finally pulled back, looking at her again upon opening my eyes.
I watched her bring her fingertips to her lips as if she was checking to see if she was dreaming or something. Almost instantly she snapped out of the trance the kiss seem to momentarily put her in. "John-- this is wrong... We both know that. We can't do this..." I was immediately confused, not to mention I now wanted to kick myself for thinking she could have wanted me the way I thought she had.
She quickly got up from the bed, without another word. Walking over to stand in front of the sliding glass doors she closed her eyes from what I could tell, more than likely to hold back the obvious tears that were threatening to fall. "Ashley, I know it's..." She cut me off before I could go any further.
"I couldn't live with just one night John... I just couldn't have you for one night and then go back to just being your friend; I can't be just another one night stand for you..." I sighed heavily, hearing her excuse. I knew what she was thinking but she couldn't have been more wrong. The more I sat there the more I knew this was the right thing to do; the more I sat there the more I started to realize Bree and Haley were right.
She was the person I was made to be with... I had never felt like this before.
I got up and slowly walked up behind her. I gently wrapped my arms around her smaller frame. My hands laid over her arms as she held them wrap under her breasts. I leaned over her shoulder and noticed the first few tears slide down her cheeks.
"Ash... I would never, ever consider you just a one night stand. You mean more to me than that... I know this must sound completely crazy but it feels right; I'm sorry I didn't see what I had right here in front of me all this time..." She sniffled a little and I brought my hand to her face, gently wiping most of them away as best as I could.
"John, you're still drunk-- you don't know what you're saying..." I sighed again, bringing her back to lean full against my chest, her still damp hair causing goosebumps to raise up on my arms.
"I know I had way too much to drink tonight-- I do it too much-- and I promise you I'm going to try and stop; I drink because I'm depressed and lonely but I've got too much of my father and grandfather's pride to admit that to anyone... but you... I trust you-- and I know damn well what I'm saying right now... I've had feelings for you since the day you walked into my life. Everyday I wonder what it would be like if you were more than just my best friend-- I couldn't tell you how many times I've just wanted to take you in my arms like this and kiss you... You'll never know how hard it was to watch you and want to touch you as bad as I did... It drove me insane."
I paused, taking a deep breath before continuing to let the real truth finally come out.
"Bree and Haley told me how you really feel tonight... Well, Bree more-so bit my head off and spit it back at me but Haley really let me know the truth..." She pulled away from me, turning around face to face.
"What?" She asked, barely above a whisper, shock written all over her face.
"They told me how you really feel about me and made me realize how much of a dumbass I really am for not seeing it before now-- not to mention admitting my own feelings..." She looked at me as more tears clouded her eyes. I immediately took her in my arms again, wrapping her up tightly.
Her face laid against my shoulder as I just held on to her for the longest time while she cried. "I don't kn--know what to--to do anymore... Sometimes I--I look at you and wonder if you--you'll ever love me-- the way I lo--love you..." I rubbed my hand over her back trying my best to calm her down. Even though she was so emotional I left a relief come over me; I had made the right descision to act on my feelings and I knew that now-- she obviously felt the same way.
"Shhh-- calm down sweets. You don't have to wonder if I love you anymore-- I have always loved you and nothing will ever change that, I promise." She pulled back from me, looking back up into my eyes; hers were already red and puffy from crying so hard, but she was still just as beautiful. I wiped them away again, off of her cheeks as I held her face cupped in my hands.
"But--" I cut her off this time before she could spread anymore doubt through her mind of what my intensions really were.
"But nothing Ashley-- I've never felt more strongly or more right about anything in my life. Question anything about me that you want, just don't ever question how much I truly do love you-- you know I would never say it unless I honest-to-God meant it."
A few more tears slipped down her face as I stared contently into her chocolate brown eyes. I brought her face to my own again to kiss her again, if only as added reasurance to everything I was admitting to her now.
When I finally pulled away from her she laid her forehead against my jawline as I held her; I wanted this to work-- I wanted to do things right this time so I would move at her pace willingly, no questions asked.
"John... please-- don't put me through this if you're just going to break my heart when you wake up in the morning and regret everything, wishing it never happened..." I sighed against her, putting my index finger under her chin to force her to look up at me.
"I may regret a lot of things in the morning-- but you will never be one of them as long as I live. But if you can," I paused a second, kissing her light and quick again before continuing-- "look at me and honestly tell me you don't want this as much as I do..." I kissed her again, this time just a little longer. "And, if you tell me to stop, I will. I'll leave right now, go find my hotel room and we'll just stay friends... If that's what you really want. I would never force you into something you didn't want to do..."
I barely had enough time to get the end of the statement out of my mouth before her lips were on mine again but this time it was a little rougher than the rest-- I could feel her need just with her kiss. I progressed until I couldn't breath anymore. I pulled back as my hands immediately went to the bottom of her tanktop. She lifted her arms up as I pulled it off over her head, throwing it off behind me somewhere randomly.
I locked my lips on her again as I slowly walked her back to the bed behind her, gently releasing her to nudge her backwards onto the mattress. I was just about to lower myself to her as she stared up at me when my cell phone rang from the pocket of the shorts. I grabbed it, looking at the caller ID before silencing the ringtone and tossing it to the floor.
"Who was that?" She asked, watching me contently as I locked my eyes back on hers.
"Orton-- I'll have to call him back in the morning..." I smirked, looking down at her as she looked more beautiful than I ever remember seeing any woman look. I couldn't explain the feeling of knowing I was about to make love to someone who I truly loved and who I knew truly loved me back.
It was about 5:30AM when it started getting a little lighter in the room, via the open curtains; but, it was still pretty dark for the most part. It was bright enough to allow me to lay there with her in my arms and just watch her while she slept.
Laying on my side, facing her, she had her arm drapped over my waist; the sheets barely covered her amazing body and her soft, dark hair fanned against the pillows. God, she was absolutely amazing...
I had seen her sleeping before, whether it have been on a long plane ride or car trip-- or if it was just a nap in my locker room before one of our shows. But this-- this was lightyears different. We had just made love, and I was just watching her sleep in her most venerable state; and even still she was absolutely gorgeous. I just couldn't sleep for wanting to watch her. I wanted this to last forever...
I gently pushed a piece of fallen hair from her face back behind her ear. I knew right then this was going to last-- I can't tell the future, and I don't want to try... all I know is I am in love with her and I want this to last forever. Just feeling her next to me made my mind blur and my palms get all sweaty. I want to fall asleep next to her like this every night...
She moved a little in her sleep as I felt her snuggle closer to me, into the nape of my neck. I smiled as the scent of her shampoo filled me again... only then, lying there feeling like a complete weight had been lifted from my shoulders and with a fullness in my heart did I willingly let sleep take me over.