Dedication: EJ, amante del Missa, who is the moonlight to my darkness. My sunrise to the horizon. Whichever way you look at it, she is BEAUTIFUL, and I am so incredibly thankful for her. Happy birthday, my love.

Disclaimer: Still waiting for that note that says Yes, you now own D. Gray Man! Yeah, that'll be coming in the mail any day now...


Lenalee is, in every way, soft. From her smooth, silky hair that brushes against his arm when he passes her accidentally in the hallways, her creamy skin that reminds him of moonlight, and her supple thighs that brush against her short skirt in an almost indecent way, except Lenalee is nothing except innocent.

Lenalee is innocent, but not the men they live with. And Komui is not the only one angered over the attention she receives.

When Kanda is away on missions, it makes him nervous (though he will never admit it) to be away from Lenalee, because Beansprout isn't a moron, and Lavi is the biggest womanizer that's ever lived.

He tries to take comfort in the fact that Beansprout is possibly just as innocent as Lenalee, and won't try anything, though he's still going to maim him when hr gets back, because he knows that white-haired retard had been looking at Lenalee's legs for too long, and that is not allowed.

"Yuu!" Lavi cries, and runs over to him, only to have Kanda stick out his foot and the redhead trips over it, turning his head and glaring at Kanda with his one eye. "That was mean." He pouts, and Kanda shrugs, turning back to see Lenalee waiting there for him, a sweet smile stretching across her face.

"Kanda," she says, and steps closer, inspecting him to make sure that he is not hurt. While her eyes wander across his body, he allows his own eyes to drink in her face, something that he only deems appropriate when Lenalee is not looking. (What he doesn't realize is that Lavi is watching him with a knowing smile on his face, and Allen is peeking around the corner, grinning, because Kanda thinks that he's getting away with it.)

It is not the first time he's realized it, but Lenalee is beautiful. It's not purely physical, of course, because Lenalee is not only beautiful, but she is kind, and generous, even to people who don't really deserve it. (Like him.)

"You got hurt," she murmurs, and her pointer finger brushes across a rip on the front of his clothing, right across his abs, and against his will, he flinches. She looks up to gauge his reaction, biting her lower lip, and his eyes, which had been scrutinizing her face, are immediately drawn to her lips.

He feels an odd emotion stirring inside of him, and immediately looks at the top of her head to prevent himself doing something that might push her away. (Such as gathering her to him and dipping his head to hers. He might be cold and anti-social, but Lenalee is the flame to his ice, and he is still a man.)

"Come on." She takes his hand in hers and drags him away, and Kanda finds out that her hand, just like the rest of her, is soft; it feels like velvet compared to his rough palms.

Before he realizes it, they are in Lenalee's room, and she is ordering him to take off his shirt. He glares at her, but then sees the worry in her eyes, the dark circles beneath those amethyst irises, and complies, because he can never truly say no to the girl.

She begins to clean his wounds, not ever saying a word, and he watches her, the way he always does, because Lenalee is this impossibility that he will never be able to obtain. She is the heaven that he does not deserve.

Lenalee needs to dress the wounds on his torso, so she has to reach around him, and Kanda begins to glare at the ceiling, because stop it hormones, this is NOT a good time to react!

"Do you have a fever? You might've caught a cold on that mission." Lenalee murmurs, and places a cool palm against his burning forehead. He scowls at her touch and grabs her wrist, pulling it away from his face.

"I'm fine." He tells her, and then gentles his touch, because her eyes are looking sad again, and he can never stop pushing her away.

"You got that scar saving me, right?" Her fingers are feather-light when they touch his pectoral, and he looks down.

"Maybe." She's biting her lip again, and he's staring at her, at those fingers, and wishing against wishes that he could just be, be okay, be better, be with her.

"You're always saving me." Lenalee whispers, and then her fingers stop touching his chest, and she's getting up, and all he can think is that he doesn't want to be alone, and he's tired of this, of this chasm of what he wants and what he gets and why can't he just get it? He wants to have his cake and eat it too. So he reaches out and grabs her wrist again, and pulls her against him, as he's wanted to for quite some time. Her shampoo is something light and fruity and it fits her, and he can feel the warmth of her seeping through his skin, seeping through his pores and ingraining herself even more into him, if that's even possible.

"Kanda?"

"Shut up. I save you because I want to." Because I need you. The words are unspoken, but Lenalee is looking at him like she knows it, and he doesn't mind her making happy if her eyes continue shining like that and she keeps on smiling like that.

And Lenalee, with skin the color of moonlight, looks even more beautiful IN the moonlight, when he is watching her sleep, and she is facing him, a small smile on her lips, lips that had just whispered his name in her sleep, and she is dreaming about him. Not Beansprout, not Lavi, not Krory, him. Yuu Kanda.

Lenalee is smart in so many ways (because she chose him, and not anyone else, because he will not allow anyone else to have her, especially now) but she is also kind of blind. She may complain that he was always saving her, but what she didn't realize was that she had saved him. Lenalee was Kanda's redemption, his salvation.

He's not thankful for much, but if there is one thing on this Earth that he IS thankful for, it's Lenalee.


A/N-- Okay, so obviously, I can't write IC fics to save my life. My only offering is that this is my first time writing Kanda, so I tried to get into his head and think about the what-ifs. I think it kind of sucks, but as long as EJ likes it, then I'm happy. Your next gift will maybe be up tonight, babe, but if not, definitely tomorrow. Anyway, thoughts?