A/N: Bet you guys didn't expect to see me in this fandom, did you? I wrote this fic as a present for my roommate. We agreed that if she drew the twins for me, I'd write a fic for her. Please tell me if you like the result and especially tell me what to improve upon-- I've never written any Ouran High School Host Club before! Enjoy.

Summary: (Oneshot.) The twins finally get in trouble for their incestuous tendencies. Or do they? And about that kiss...

That Kiss Was

"Neh, Hikaru?"

My eyes slowly move from their fixed point on the blank wall across the room to focus on my twin. He sits in a chair beside mine, perched on its edge in a way that isn't comfortable. The right corner of my mouth tugs up in an involuntary smile. Despite the predicament we're in, there's no way I can stay anxious when I see the cute look of worry on Kaoru's face. "Yes?" I answer. My hand twitches, wanting to stroke the side the curve of his cheek… but that's what got us into this mess.

"Do you think…" His lovely eyes—my eyes—our eyes—are troubled as he forms the sentence. "… do you think—"

"—that we'll be here long?" I muse. "I don't know." I hesitate, then raise a hand and stroke his hair.

Surely, surely, that can't be considered dirty in anyone's mind.

To stroke your twin's hair is to comfort him. Kaoru closes his eyes briefly, letting me take on some of his fear.

To tell the truth—which he already knows, even if I haven't said it—we could be here for a while.

I look around again, surveying the room that I've already seen and dismissed as boring from the beginning. Four boring stark white walls. One boring, windowless white door. Two boring chairs that we occupy on one side of a boring table. One green chair on the other side of the table. The green chair's the thing that's actually not boring. It has some writing on it. I lean forward a little and squint across the distance of the table to make it out: WELCOME TO THE PSYCHO WARD.

My mouth twitches wryly. What excellent detail.

The door finally opens, startling both Kaoru and I into flinching. I drop my hand from his head. The air outside is warmer than the air inside, and we both lean toward it for a brief moment. Then we shrink back.

Through the doorway comes a small, balding man who is glaring at us from the start. He slams the door shut behind him, marches across the room in more steps than I'd use to cover twice the distance, then sits down in the chair. It's a bit low. We loom over him even sitting down. If he notices, he doesn't say anything.

"Hitachin Kaoru and Hitachin Hikaru?" he asks, looking at both of us. Unseen to him, I take Kaoru's hand beneath the table and give it a squeeze.

"Hai," we answer in unison.

"My name is Domoro," he says. Although his Japanese is perfect, he's clearly American by birth or he would've added a 'san' onto the end of it. "Do you boys know why you're here today?"

My eyes slide cat-like from his face to Kaoru's.

"No," my twin answers softly. Domoro looks at him skeptically, but Kaoru's act is flawless, almost slightly more flawless than mine.


"Right," Domoro says, still doubtful. "In that case, could you boys tell me what you were up to today?"

My lip twitches. I don't like how he keeps saying 'you boys'. In fact, it really ticks me off. My hand must clench around Kaoru's because he squeezes it slightly in warning.

"At school," he answers smoothly to cover for me. "We went to school today. Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Did anything happen at school?"

Did anything happen? "Just the usual," I reply with a deadpan expression.

The usual indeed.

Four Hours Earlier…

"It's your birthday?" one girl cried, her hands trembling around her cup of tea.

"Our birthday," I corrected, taking Kaoru's hand and kissing it gently. I ran my tongue over his knuckles to watch him blush, and the girls around us began to giggle excitedly.

"Hikaru…" he breathed, much to the delight of our guests, and I smiled. "You know the effect that has on me…" He lowered his long eyelashes as if embarrassed, but I know it was to hide his amusement. I was amused as well.

"So I discovered last night," I said coyly. "You responded a little louder then." The girls around us couldn't contain their 'moe' anymore and began to squeal all at once, easily drowning out our soft conversation.

We were sitting in the Host Club, as usual. It was full for what Kyouya had designated "The Hitachin Brothers' Birthday Celebration." Not that he had bothered to attend. No, wait. I could see him skulking in the background, small notebook in hand as he calculated costs, gains, and the potential amount of new customers we were going to score from this. Hunny and Mori watched with similarly amused countenances from another table. They were sipping tea, and Hunny was eating a small strawberry-filled cake while he waited. That reminded me…

"Ha-ru-hi," I called loudly. "Haruhi!" I wasn't sure if she'd be able to hear me over the noise our guests were making.

"What?" She appeared at my side, looking wary.

"Could you bring out our cake?" I requested, calmly, but I was excited to see the reaction it would bring.

"Hai," she answered, rolling her eyes and turning her back on me. I had learned in advance that Haruhi did not approve of our cake and had promised not to eat it. I still thought she would.

When she returned, pushing the cake on a dainty cart, the girls not immediately at our side began a collective giggle. I kept my expression blank and relaxed. "What?" I demanded. I straightened up from where I sat and began to frown. "What is it?"

"What's going on?" Kaoru asked next, as if he was unaware.

The cake came into view. On the vanilla background was a carefully drawn picture of Kaoru and I lying in each other's arms. Oh, and we were naked. But hey, there were some lovely roses covering up the essential bits. It was really a PG cake, in my opinion. The giggles were hushed as every eye in the crowd searched our impassive expressions.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru said finally in shock, his face turning an impressive shade of white. He ducked his head in supposed embarrassment. I know he was laughing. "To take that perfect moment and put it on a cake for everyone to see…!" I stroked the back of his neck with one hand, admiring the downy orange fuzz that covers it.

"Well," I said boldly. "I think this shows your good side, Kaoru." His head whipped up in protest, and the girls around us dissolved into laughter.

"Kaoru-kun! Hikaru-kun!" one girl called. "What part of the cake will you eat first?"

I sidled my eyes to Kaoru who, without looking at me, answered, "A slice of Hikaru, please." The voices of the girls escalated into a loud frenzy of shrieking laughter, and the look on Haruhi's face was priceless. Tamaki took the opportunity to hand her a knife.

"Haruhi," he proclaimed, dramatic as always. "Cut Kaoru-kun a piece of what he desires the most!"

"Hai, hai," Haruhi dutifully cut out a piece of cake depicting my chest and handed the plate to Kaoru. Before he could take it, I snatched it away. "Hikaru," he protested.

"Shh," I touched a finger to his moist lips. "Let me feed it to you."

The volume in the room jumped again before quieting to a dead silence as I carefully sliced off a bite-size piece of the cake with my fork. Everyone was watching. I moved the fork delicately toward Kaoru's mouth, just as we had planned, and he waited.

"Open," I said, sternly, and he obediently opened his mouth in a way that was perhaps wider than necessary to take in the small bit of cake. Carefully, I tilted the fork to slide off the treat. I sat back and waited as Kaoru chewed thoughtfully.

"Is it good?" I asked, eagerly leaning closer to Kaoru… and then closer still. The guests surrounding us released not-quite-silent gasps. I know what they were wondering. We were prepared to answer them.

"Mm," Kaoru nodded, and I took the opportunity to look into his eyes and confirm the plan.

"Is it delicious?" I asked.

"Mmmm," Kaoru purred, closing his eyes in ridiculous enjoyment of this supposedly wondrous cake.

It was a go.

"Let me taste it," I whispered, seizing my twin around the waist. I pulled him into my lap and firmly claimed his mouth with mine. He didn't resist; rather, he pulled me closer than I thought possible and returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm as my own.

The kiss was physically real. It had to be, what with the party guests surrounding and observing so closely. Kaoru used his tongue to pass me a little bit of cake, and I separated from him with the icing melting on my tongue. We were both panting, slightly out of breath. I peeked at Kaoru to check that the plan had been executed to his satisfaction. His reply was to lick some cake off his kiss-swollen lips and give me a sexy, half-lidded look.

The guests around us had been shrilling for some time, but I must admit that that kiss had been more real than I'd thought it would be. My heart pounded so loudly in my ears that I really didn't know when our audience had started to cheer. Nevertheless, I gathered myself to deliver the last line in the act.

"That…" I said loudly, pausing for effect and quiet. "is delicious cake." Around us, the girls squealed and clamored for a piece of their own. Haruhi sliced off bits of our hair, our eyes, our noses, our cheeks, our necks, our chests, our stomachs, our pubic bones, and at last, the innocent roses, to feed to our guests.

"The usual?" Domoro asks sharply, only two seconds after I said it myself, but I'm slow to respond. Kaoru knows what I'm thinking about. He always knows. Smiling slightly, he answers, "Well… it is our birthday."

"And how did you celebrate?" Domoro presses, obviously driving to a point.

"With some delicious cake," I respond innocently. My innocent face, unfortunately, isn't as perfect as Kaoru's.

Domoro slams his hands down on the table in frustration, causing Kaoru to flinch. I squeeze his hand more tightly beneath the table. "A student reported that you two kissed each other with the cake in your mouths!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Bit homophobic, are you?"

"Have a problem with gays?" Kaoru asks.

"That's not the issue here," Domoro bites out coldly. "You're brothers. Identical twins, no?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I reply nastily.

"What you did is an unspeakable act," he begins, and I sense we're in for a real lecture. Sighing, I sit back in my chair, lift my feet, and place them on the edge of the table, ankles crossed. "Remove your feet from my table, young man!" Domoro insists, and I only wiggle my shoes at him.

"Is there a law against incestuous relationships outside of marriage?" I demand, ignoring his request, and the man flushes.

"No, but the social taboo—"

"Damn society," I say lazily. "Damn them and damn you. Can we leave now?"

"Oh no," Domoro laughs, and I feel a flicker of uncertainty; was my reasoning wrong? "Ouran has committed you to attend sessions here until we have rewritten how you two think about each other." A cold, icy sensation drips into the pit of my stomach, making me feel sick.

"Excuse me," Kaoru says softly from beside me. In my hand, his fingers are trembling and delicate like a bird's. I stroke them against my palm, almost as much for my own comfort as for his. "Does this mean that we've been committed?"

"Well," Domoro says uncomfortably. "I wouldn't put it like that. You boys certainly have issues to work out in healthier ways than you have been, but you're certainly not stark raving mad—"

"Will we have to stay here?" Kaoru interrupts, and this scares me more than anything. Outside of the situations we create and the acts we play through, Kaoru never interrupts. I swing my feet down from the table and tuck them under the desk. Both our hands tremble. The only thing keeping them steady is the death-grip they have on each other.

"For a while, yes." Domoro answers. "We'll also have to separate you two—"

"What?!" we squawk, rising quickly from our chairs to lean on the table.

"To evaluate each of you separately," he explains, standing up himself to compensate. "Surely you understand that—"

"Absolutely not," we say in unison. Domoro's eyes drift downward from our distraught faces to our hands, which are still interlinked.

"I see," he says quietly. The grip we have on each other tightens. I can't feel my hand. "I didn't think we'd have to go about this the hard way. I thought that, perhaps, if you both made it easier on each other, let each other go in a mutual fashion—"

"Fuck you," we spit out, and the sagging lines around Domoro's mouth tighten.

"Very well." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a walkie-talkie. Is this where he calls the orderlies to take us away? Feeling light-headed, I pull Kaoru closer to me until the opposite corners of our hips touch.

"This can't be happening." It's said so quietly that I can't hear him. I still know what he says.

"It isn't," I say firmly. "It won't."

"But Hikaru—"

"Listen," I tell him fiercely, taking his chin in my hand to emphasize. "It will be an act."

His eyes, originally rigid with fear, soften in understanding. "An act."

"Our greatest one," I continue. "It has to convince them better than anything we've ever done."

"I won't like it," he says quietly, looking up at me. "I won't like it at all."

"Me neither," I admit, darting a glance at Domoro. He's still talking into the device and is apparently having some trouble getting in contact with anyone.


I look down into the beautiful face of my twin. Is this the last time I will ever see him? I wrap my arms around him and tighten them. "Yes?" My voice cracks brokenly.

"About that kiss—" He looks down shyly, and I'm surprised. There's no reason for him to play the game. No one is looking. "About that kiss…" I wait for him to explain, to go further, because for once I don't know where he's going with this. "That kiss was—"

At that moment, the door bursts open, and men in military uniforms dart inside, pointing their guns in every possible direction. I step in front of Kaoru protectively, but there's no need. After ten men surround us and a speechless Domoro, Kyouya enters the room, glancing around curiously. "Hikaru, Kaoru," he greets, as though we happened to stumble into each other at a party.

"Kao-kun! Hika-kun!" Hunny launches himself through the doorway and clings to our pant legs. "Are you hurt? Did we make it in time?" Mori stands in the background, assessing the situation.

"Remove him," he tells the guards, indicating Domoro. The man is immediately dragged out, and Tamaki trips over him in his eagerness to get through the doorway.

"Oh, Daddy was so worried, wasn't he, Haruhi?" he gushes loudly, hugging both Kaoru and I tightly than we'd like.

"Are you two all right?" Haruhi asks before Tamaki can go on in the speech he had planned out. Her concerned gaze tugs at my heart a little, but I answer her truthfully.

"We're fine," I sigh. "Cut it close, didn't you?" I tap her on the nose, making her sputter. "Try and hurry a bit next time, would you?"

"Thank you for saving us," Kaoru adds, still half-wrapped around me.

"Come on!" Hunny tugs at Kaoru's hand. "Kyouya's helicopter is waiting for us!"

The soldiers leave first, with the rest of us following: first Kyouya, writing notes in his book about the cost of the rescue, no doubt, then Hunny and Mori, then Tamaki and Haruhi, and finally us.

"How did this happen anyway?" Haruhi muses. Kaoru stiffens slightly beside me, and I lay a hand on his waist to make him relax.

"Apparently a student reported them," Kyouya answers for us. "I'm not sure who it was yet, but when I find out." That was the end of his sentence.

"Is it really legally possible to place someone in an insane asylum for incest?" Haruhi persists, and Kaoru and I sigh.

"Cut, cut," Kyouya says, sounding bored, and a faint beep sounds from the walls we pass. Haruhi freezes, making Tamaki bump into her from behind, and reaches out a hand to touch the wall. It sways from her slight push.

"Is that… plastic?" she asks in disbelief. She finds a seam in the "wall" and flings it aside. Behind the material sit a few cameramen, sound technicians, editors, and three large top-of-the-line video cameras. Haruhi examines the plastic. "What the—"

"It's one-way plastic," explains Hunny brightly. "The camera can see through, but you can't see the camera." Mori grunts in confirmation.

"Haruhi, there was supposed to be a helicopter scene next," Kaoru and I complain in unison.

"But… then this wasn't real?!" Haruhi demands.

"It's a real promotional movie," Kyouya replies. "Titled—"

"'Hitachin Brothers: The Great Escape'," Tamaki interrupts grandly. "Our customers will love it! Can you imagine the delight on their faces when they see this story of mishap, of loss, and of the ultimate triumph of love? It will win award after award, the critics will announce it as the best picture of the year!"

Kyouya frowns and makes one more mark in his book. "I suppose now we'll have to film the part with the helicopter later."


"It's all right, Haruhi," I say patronizingly, placing a hand on her head. "We're being compensated, neh, Kyouya?"

"Overcompensated," he mutters.

"But I was really worried!" Haruhi protests. "Do you mean this was all part of the plan?" The Host Club members join in to calm her as we all mount the stairs to the helicopter pad. No one pays further attention to Kaoru and me.

I slide my eyes over to look at my twin, who is watching our friends and smiling fondly. He feels the weight of my stare and shifts his eyes to me.

" 'That kiss was…'?" I ask. "That wasn't in the plan. What were you going to say?"

The smile on his face widens before he starts to laugh. "Wouldn't you like to know, Hikaru?" he teases, breaking from my hold to run ahead to the others before I can stop him.

"Kaoru!" I protest, but I don't immediately follow. He's right, as always. I would like to know the answer to that question: were we playing through the scene, or was it real? I think of our kiss from only a few hours before. Had Kaoru also experienced the head-rush, the giddy excitement, the fever that I had perceived? The heat of the memory hits me as I recall the soft texture of my twin's lips and how they fit so perfectly against my own.

"Hika-kun!" Hunny launches himself from the ground onto my shoulders and jerks me out of my daydreaming. I stagger at the unexpected weight. "Were youblushing?"