Fandom: The Bill
Pairing(s): Past Matt/Emma, implied Will/Emma.
Genre/Rating: Drama, General/M
Word Count: 834
Disclaimer: Lyrics © Rick Springfield (Jesse's Girl).
Summary: Matt Hinckley punishes Emma, he punishes Will, and then he punishes himself.
Warnings: Coarse language, violence, sexual scene, rape, self harm, suicide, mental instabilities, general creepiness. Seriously. It's creepy.
Notes: I almost did this in third person, but I think second person is more effective. It was going to be a lot shorter too – well, it was only going to be one scene and then the other lyrics and sections just snuck in there and it evolved into this. Um, I'm not crazy. Please review.
100 themes challenge. This is for number 45: Insanity.
And she's watching him with those eyes,
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it.
She's taken it too far now, hasn't she? She has to pay, doesn't she? She has to understand, to be shown. You own her. You control her. You've turned the other cheek for too long and now she doesn't listen.
You've tried, so hard, to pretend not to notice. You've tried to pretend not to mind. You've tried subtlety and softness, but that hasn't been enough. And now it's almost too late. But this can be resolved, can't it? You can still fix this. And you will, won't you? That's why she's lying on the floor beneath you. That's why her dress is ripped. That's why her face is turned towards the carpet. That's why she's whimpering.
And you can tell she's starting to realise. If you do this, if you keep controlling her, you can make her want this. Once you're through, she'll stop saying "no". You will never have to hear another "no" from this bitch again, will you? And, God, it's worth it. Look at her. Just look at her. She's beautiful like this, isn't she? She's perfect like this, an angel. She's all curves and warmth and she'll say "yes" soon enough, just you wait.
"Matt, please. Don't do this. Please."
Hit her. Hit her hard. Show her you own her. Show her how little she's worth. That's right. Good. Excellent. It felt good, didn't it? You feel powerful now, don't you? Do it again. Yes! Now tell her. Tell her what she did to you. Tell her how much she hurt you. Tell her.
"Matt, listen to me. This won't change anything. Just – just stop and I won't tell anyone!"
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. She wants this. She's a lying bitch; you know she's a lying bitch. She's pretending. She's faking. Just a little longer. A little longer and she'll break. She'll stop pretending soon. She'll say "yes" soon. Any minute now. She knows she deserves this now, doesn't she? She does, you know she does. But she's testing you, tricking you. And you can't have that, can you?
I play along with the charade;
There doesn't seem to be a reason to change.
When did you begin to lose her? That's simple, isn't it? You know the answer to that. You do. If you just stop; pause for a moment and mull it over. You might own her now, but you didn't before. There was a time, earlier, before she looked you in the eyes and swore to stay with you forever, wasn't there? Yes. That's right.
It's down to him. He's the reason you started to lose her and a few scathing comments and a black eye aren't enough anymore, aren't they? Actions speak louder than words, don't they? You need to act. You need to bring him down, show him what happens when he gets in your way.
And you can't palm this off to someone else, can you? He has to know, with absolute certainty, who's punishing him. This isn't some mugging. There's meaning and purpose and you need to do this yourself. He has to see your face before you crush him, doesn't he? It won't mean anything if he doesn't know it was you. So show him.
Step out now. Good. Brilliant.
Shut him up! Hit him! Beat him! Beat him 'til his own mother wouldn't recognise him. Mmm, perfect. Just like that. Excellent. Look at the blood. Look at all this blood. It's beautiful. It's so beautiful.
Keep going. Don't stop. Keep going. Keep hitting and hurting and punishing. He deserves this. And he knows. He knows because you've shown him. But you can't stop yet, can you? You have to be sure, don't you? So keep going!
And I'm looking in the mirror all the time,
Wondering what she don't see in me.
But you're starting to understand now, aren't you? It isn't just down to them. It's your fault too. It wasn't just a pull from him, you were pushing too. And now look what you've done. You've caused this mess just as surely as they have, haven't you? And they've suffered for their parts.
Now it's your turn. You've fixed this now, haven't you? So it's your turn. You need to be rewarded.
The red looks pretty against your wrist, doesn't it? Shiny, wet, pretty red. So pretty. And it hurts, doesn't it? It stings and burns and stabs all at once and it's perfect. Don't you think? Isn't it good? Isn't it perfect?
You're doing the right thing; you know you're doing the right thing. You were right to listen, to obey. You couldn't have made it on your own, but with me here, with me instructing, everything is just right.
And you shouldn't be scared. You don't need to worry. I've never led you wrong before, have I? Just lie there and let this happen. This is the great finale. A perfect end to a perfect game.
No, shhh, this isn't the end for you. It's not even an end. This, this is the beginning. The beginning of your reward. It's beautiful, it's worth it.
So just lie back and let this happen.