Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K.Rowling. I own nothing and don't earn money with them.

Summary: Married and abused, Harry reviews on his life.

I want him back. I want him back so badly, but I know he is dead by now.

Nevertheless I set the table. I prepare his breakfast: Egg and coffee.

He comes. I hurry to get to my place. He enters the kitchen. He sits. I follow every of his movements. I hope everything is alright.

But it never is. It never was.

He jumps up. The eye is soft-boiled. That doesn't suit his plans.

Get up, he says. I do as he wants. I know better than to try and talk.

In only a second he reaches me. I find myself on the floor.

Everything hurts. My back screams. He kicks at me. I try to protect my stomach with my hands.

It hits me hard there. It hurts too much and I have to let go.

My eye suddenly swells and my hair breaks.

Someone screams. Someone chucks up. It cannot be me - not yet.

I open my eyes. He leans over me. His body is bending forward and he watches my eye.

"You fell", he tells me. I nod.

"What happened there?" he asks, pointing at my eye.

It is a test. I fell and I walked against the bedroom door.

He never looked me into the eyes.

When we first met, we were enemies. That never changed.

After I graduated, we met in a Pub. He grabbed my knee and let his hand slid to more intimate parts of my body. I didn't mind. Nobody was interested in the boy-who-lived-twice anymore. Those who were had a "you know, the job and family, we'll meet soon, I promise".

It wasn't him I loved. It was the feeling to be needed and loved, for that I loved him.

We married within a week after we met again. He carried me trough the door frame and kissed me senseless. Then the door closed and he died.

We have three beautiful children. I hate them. They're on his side. He made them against my will. They make me stand up in the morning, they make me go out and worst, they make me wash away my anger.

Our second date was in September. He left Hogwarts for me and I was the happiest man of the world. We ate chips from the same carton and sometimes he fed me.

We both had no job, but it didn't matter to us. I inherited loads of money from Dumbledore.

Our first time was intoxicating. He was so gentle and cuddled me afterwards, he always held me until I slept.

Then, one day, that one day, the 31 October, I got pregnant.

I was so proud, I felt whole. I and my Severus and our child would be a whole family.

But I hadn't considered that he was dead 'till then.

He came into the room I decorated with candles and joss sticks. He laid into bed and we cuddled. Then I told him. He died and threw me onto the floor. I wasn't his young lover anymore, for that I was supposed to be punished.

"Your eye looks pathetic" he tells me.

I nod. I can do nothing else, for he would be dead again.