A/N: So this isn't really for anyone inparticular. Well, maybe Sage, since she inspired this. A little. Just a little.

Late Night Phone Calls

Ring ring.

Hermione turned her head on her pillow to check the time; 12.27 am. Torn between hating the fact that she couldn't get to sleep and loving the fact that she now had something to do, Hermione reached out and let her hand scuttle around on the surface of her bedside table, searching for her mobile phone.

Ring ring.

'Yes, yes, I'm looking,' Hermione growled into the darkness, her hand still searching for her mobile. 'Freakin' thing.'

Ring ring.

Sighing, Hermione threw a hand under her pillow and withdrew her wand.

'Accio mobile,' she muttered.

The mobile phone came soaring to her and Hermione finally remembered that she had left it in her jean pocket and her search over the sidetable was pointless. She flipped the phone open and placed it to her ear.


The line was dead and Hermione sighed, pulling the phone away from her ear.

Missed calls:

Weasley, R. B. - 12.27 am.

Hermione smiled and closed the phone. If she knew Ron as well as she did, he would call her until she answered and then rant about she should have answered the first time he had called. Sure enough, not five seconds after she had snapped the phone closed did it start to ring again. Hermione opened the phone and put it to her ear.

'Good morning, Mr Weasley,' she purred.

'Bloody hell, Hermione,' came Ron's deep voice. 'I thought something had happened to you. You should have answered the first time I called!'

Hermione smiled, not a bit annoyed at her husband.

'Honestly, Ron,' she replied lightly, 'are you unaware of the time?'

There was silence on Ron's end and Hermione could almost see Ron whirling around to check a clock.

'Oh,' he said softly. 'Sorry, love. I didn't even notice. Did I wake you?'

Hermione's smile increased slightly as she sat up a bit, leaning back against her pillows.

'No,' she whispered. 'I was wide awake. I couldn't sleep.'

'Then why the hell didn't you answer the first time I called?' Ron asked.

Hermione surpressed a snicker.

'I was searching for my phone,' she replied gently. 'I forgot that it was in my jean pocket.'

'Oh,' Ron repeated. 'Well ... you really should keep it beside you.'

Hermione pushed her hair back behind her ear.

'I try, Ron. Really,' she replied, rolling her eyes.

There was silence for a couple minutes. Hermione closed her eyes and listened to Ron's breathing.

'I miss you,' Ron whispered.

Hermione's eyes opened and she felt a sadness fill the empty space beside her on the bed that was usually filled by Ron's wonderfully warm weight. She sighed.

'How's Auror training?' she asked, trying not to cry.

'Boring,' said Ron. 'Don't cry, love.'

Hermione gave a small chuckle.

'How'd you know I was trying not to?'

'Your voice got a little heavier.'

Hermione smiled a bit.

'I miss you too, Ron,' she whispered, a tear running down her face.

'I'll be home soon, love,' Ron murmured. 'Just another week. Seven days, that's all. And then you can tie me up and keep me hostage.'

Hermione could almost see Ron's eyes sparkling at his sexual joke. She smiled.

'I like the sound of that,' she said quietly but seductively.

'Bloody hell,' Ron whimpered. 'Hermione, you're lucky I get my own room.'

Hermione's smile turned to a grin.

'Why? Is this turning you on?' she whispered; she was positive that her eyes were glittering.

Ron groaned.

'Yeah,' he muttered, his voice a little strained.

Hermione smirked and subconsciously ran her hand over her chest.

'How much?' she whispered, her hand running down to the hem of her shirt, under, and up again, searching for her breast.

'Too much,' Ron groaned.

Hermione could have sworn she heard the sound of a zipper being undone and Ron groaned again. Now extremely curious, Hermione cleared her throat.

'Mr Weasley, what are you up to?' she purred into the phone.

'I'm just ... bloody hell ... attempting to give myself some breathing room, Mrs Weasley,' Ron gritted out.

'Hmm. What kind of breathing room?' Hermione asked, smirking evilly.

'Like you don't bloody well know,' said Ron.

Hermione bit her bottom lip and felt as her hand ran back down to her stomach.

'Maybe my brain isn't really working right,' she replied as her fingers slipped under the waistband of her pyjama bottoms.

Ron gave a little growl in her ear that sent shivers up and down her spine.

'Maybe I want to keep you ignorant on the matter,' he groaned.

Hermione shivered again and brushed her index finger over the material of her knickers. She gave a soft whimper.

'I miss you,' she breathed, moving her finger over her knickers.

'Sweet Circe, Hermione,' Ron groaned.

Hermione pushed her knickers to the side and spread the wetness over her folds, lubricating her clit. She gave a rather loud moan.


'I want you. So bad,' Ron groaned.

'If only,' Hermione moaned, massaging her clit, her teeth capturing her bottom lip. 'Dear, God.'

'Fuck, yes,' Ron moaned.

'Don't ... swear,' Hermione gritted out, pushing two fingers into herself.

'Can't help it,' Ron whimpered. 'So good.'

Hermione realized her grip on the phone was so tight that it was in danger of breaking, but if she were to loosen her grip, she knew that the phone would drop. Her eyes fluttered closed and her head dropped back, hitting the wall with a loud thud.

'Are you OK?'

Hermione nodded, her lips parted slightly. It took her a second to remember that she was having phone sex with Ron, and therefore he couldn't see her nodding. She cleared her throat.

'Brilliant,' she moaned.

'Good,' Ron breathed. 'Last thing I need is my wife to knock herself out while masturbating to the sound of my voice.'

'Who said it's to the sound of your voice?' Hermione challenged, slowing her fingers a bit.

'Who said it wasn't?' Ron groaned.

'Me,' Hermione groaned, removing her fingers and swirling them around her clit again. She arched against her hand, moaning.

'Fuck, Hermione, stop doing that,' Ron pleaded.

'Stop swearing,' Hermione moaned.

Secretly, Hermione loved it when Ron swore. It turned her on even more, especially when he swore while wanking.

'I know you like it,' he moaned in her ear.

Hermione's eyes shut even tighter than before and she slid her fingers back into herself. She could feel herself start to convulse and she started moaning even louder than she had before.

'Oh, God, Ron,' she panted.

'Look in your bottom drawer,' said Ron.

Hermione stopped and opened her eyes.

'What?' she asked, removing her fingers and wiping them on her pyjama bottoms.

'Trust me,' Ron groaned.

Hermione caught her breath and flopped over the side of the bed. She opened the drawer and pulled out a flesh-coloured rod-shaped object.

'Oh my, God,' she whispered.

'Remember that kit that Harry and Ginny gave us for a wedding present as a joke?' Ron asked.

'Uh huh,' Hermione whispered.

'Well, I used it. So you would have something for times like this,' said Ron.

Hermione groaned into the phone and flopped onto her back again. She shimmied out of her bottoms and spread her legs wide, sending a silent thanks to Harry and Ginny for getting her and Ron the "Mold Your Own Cock!" kit.

'Ron, you're a real genius sometimes, you know that?' Hermione moaned, setting the mold of her husband's cock up at her entrance.

Ron had started to moan again and Hermione could hear flesh snapping against flesh and she closed her eyes, pushing the dildo into herself, following Ron's rhythm, pretending that the snapping flesh was him as he slammed into her.

'Hermione,' said Ron. 'Fuck, I'm ... I'm gonna ... oh, Merlin.'

Hermione bit down on her lip and pressed the dildo into her harder and faster.

'Hang on,' she breathed into the phone. 'I need both hands.'

Ron groaned in response and Hermione put the phone down near her hips -- so Ron would be able to hear what she was doing -- using her now free hand to swirl around her clit. She rubbed frantically, rolling her hips toward her hands, forcing the dildo into her even deeper.

'God, Ron,' she chanted. 'Ron, Ron, Ron.'

Hermione rubbed her clit faster and faster, shoving the mold into her.

'GOD, YES, RON!' she screamed, convulsing violently around the dildo.

Hermione let go of the dildo and summoned her remaining energy, snatching up her mobile with her dry hand, needing to hear Ron.

'Fuck, Hermione,' he groaned. 'So close. Close. Fuck, that was hot.'

'Come on, Ron,' Hermione panted. 'Cum for me.'

Hermione heard Ron grunt and heard the bedsprings squeak a little.

'Fuck, yes, Hermione!' he growled. 'Fuck.'

Hermione could feel her eyes starting to droop and she reached down and pulled the dildo out of her and wiping her wet hand on the covers; she'd do a Cleaning Charm later.

'Merlin,' she breathed.

Ron's breathing slowed gradually and soon he was chuckling.

'My hand's a complete mess,' he murmured.

Hermione gave a soft laugh.

'I just wiped mine on the covers. I'll clean it later,' she mumbled.

'You falling asleep yet?'

'A little.'

'Should I stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep?'

'Not on this one, we'll run up the bill,' said Hermione, yawning a little. 'Call the house. I don't know why you didn't do that to begin with.'

'It was a new phone, remember? You got us mobiles for times like this so we wouldn't stain the new phone,' said Ron.

Hermione gave a gentle laugh.

'I forgot about that,' she replied. 'Call the house. Please?'

'OK,' said Ron.

'Love you.'

'Love you too. Talk to you again in a minute.'

Hermione closed her mobile phone and placed it on the sidetable. Not ten seconds later did the house phone start to ring.

'That was amazing,' she said once she had answered the phone.

Ron gave a chuckle.

'What, my felly...telephoning skills?'

Hermione laughed.

'No, you prat,' she mumbled. 'Earlier.'

'Well, it'll do for now,' said Ron. 'But be prepared, Mrs Weasley. When I get back there in seven days, we are not leaving that bedroom.'

Hermione smiled.

'I can live with that.'