A/N: Well, guys, this is it. Here's the epilogue. But don't worry, Broken Shells will be out in the next couple of weeks. A HUGE thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and to those of you who have liked it enough to put it on your Favorite lists. And once again, thanks Moogs, for betaing this for me! :-)

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the TMNT


December 30th

Well, it's been three days since I tried to…well, you know… Anyway, since then, everyone's been keeping an eye on me and treating me like I would try again any minute now. Even as I write this, I know that either Donnie or Raph are lurking just outside to make sure that I don't try anything. Yeah, like I'd do that again. Having almost done it, I don't know what I was thinking. But then, I'm just not sure of anything that's gone through my head these past couple of days. There's so much that I don't remember. What was it Donnie called it? Oh yeah, memory lapse. It's really scary. I don't want it to happen again. I never know what I've done during those things.

I never really realized how much I could affect them. Because of me, Leo got stabbed, Raph got hurt, and Don almost drowned.

I never wanted to hurt my family like this.

In the meantime, Master Splinter's promised to help me work on more mental control so that I can prevent it from happening and maybe control these crazy mood swings that have been coming and going since everything that happened with Karai. My bros need me to be the happy little brother who always plays jokes and goofs off. I'm going to make sure I will be that for them, even if I don't feel like it. I guess that could be my resolution for this coming year.

Casey and April are coming over for a party tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure that Case will try to slip Raph a beer behind Splinter's back. At least, that's what they did last year. It was pretty funny when they got caught. Then we'll all watch the ball drop on TV since we're all undergrounded again. Maybe we can get April to kiss Casey at midnight. They really need to get hitched already.

Anyways, I'm going to make sure that my bros and everyone are happy. Even if I'm not. Don promised to make me better, but I have a feeling that's going to take a long time.

While I am writing this I can feel the fear in my stomach again. I'm just so scared. I don't want to do anything again.

I know that they need me a certain way or everyone will suffer. I can't allow that. I guess that means that everything I feel otherwise needs to be hidden inside of this shell. Outside happy, inside torn apart. Don would love that paradox if he ever got his hands on it. But I won't let him.

So now I'm promising myself this: I will be the brother that all of my bros need. I will act like I did before, but I'll be watching, always watching. I can never let anything happen to them and I will never let myself hurt them—even if my mind blanks again. I'll do anything to keep it from them.

This I absolutely promise…This is my resolution for this year and for as long as it needs to be.


Please review! You know you want to! This is your last chance for this fic! Flames will be used to heat up my coffee. ;-)