REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!
Please remember, I hate spoilers. If you hear/read any rumors or "gossip" or SPOILERS about the upcoming new episodes, PLEASE keep it to yourself. If anything I write resembles anything that you hear, I do NOT want to know, and it is PURE coincidence (it HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.
DISCLAIMER:I own nothing, just my written word.
This story takes place after the events of Roman Holiday. Certain quotes from later episodes may be worked in. Please note that this story was written based on the assumption that Lily said yes to Bart at the end of RH. Also, the events of School Lies and A Thin Line never happened. That includes all Lily, Bart, Serena, and Dan scenes.
Thank you! XOXO Sharon
Epilogue: My Best Friend's Mother's, Boyfriend's Father's Wedding
"Blair! Serena!" the loud female voice came from the bride's room.
The two girls were currently in the process of trying to slip away undetected.
No such luck.
"There you two are!" Eleanor exclaimed as she walked through the doors and saw them at the end of the hall.
The girls turned around, cringing.
"Serena, as maid of honor, you should be helping your mother," Eleanor admonished. "Where are you two going?"
Blair tried to search for a suitable explanation… nothing was coming, "Uh, Serena was just about to join you, she just needed to…" she searched for something.
"A drink!" Serena said a little too loudly. "I needed a drink." Serena fanned herself. "It's so hot in here. I'm so parched."
Eleanor looked at her oddly. "There are refreshments in your mother's room." Eleanor took her arm. "Let's go. And come along too, Blair. You are a bridesmaid."
Blair's eyes got wide. Serena was giving Blair a panicky look that said, "Do something!"
"Bathroom!" Blair exclaimed. "I have to use the lady's room. I'll be there in five minutes."
Eleanor looked like she was about to argue.
"Five minutes, I promise," Blair insisted before turning and actually running the rest of the way down the hall.
Serena took a deep breath and wished Blair the best.
Now Serena just had to act natural. She mustn't do anything that would give away her nervousness.
She just hoped her mother didn't ask where Eric was.
"Charles Bass, if you don't answer this phone in the next minute there will be no sex tonight," Blair snapped across the phone line. "Do you hear me? No sex!"
She closed her phone with a huff. She didn't know why she was talking to his cell phone like it was an answering machine. It wasn't like he could hear her talking. She started massaging her temples.
The "bachelor party"—if you could call it that—was last night. The wedding was actually at two o'clock. It wasn't first thing in the morning. It gave everyone plenty of time to recover from the festivities from the night before.
Everyone, that is, but Chuck Bass.
And that wouldn't have even been all that horrible, except Chuck had been taking Eric under his wing as of late and neither of them had arrived for the wedding yet. The best man and groomsman were missing. They weren't at the Palace and they weren't answering their cell phones.
It was times like these that Blair wondered why she had ever decided that she loved him. It had to be fate playing a trick on her. Turn her into a perfect student, daughter, socialite, then make her fall for someone like Chuck Bass. What was that sound? Was it fate laughing at her?
No, it was her cell phone.
She snapped it open to read the text message. It was from Serena.
30 min B! mom's going 2 notice soon! find them!
Blair slammed her phone shut.
What the hell did Serena want her to do? Activate the GPS unit she installed in his ass? Oh right, she hadn't gotten around to doing that.
Eric wasn't answering his phone either.
That meant there was only one other option. In this instance, Bart was the lesser of two evils. If Lily knew that Eric was missing with Chuck, she'd start imagining all the things Chuck could have gotten her "baby" into.
Yes, Bart was definitely the better option. Plus, he might be able to shed some light on the situation considering it was his party the boys were at.
Blair tapped on the door to give some warning—the last thing she needed was to see Chuck's father in his skivvies—before opening the door slowly.
"About time," Bart grumbled. He was in the middle of straightening his black bowtie, facing the mirror.
Blair cleared her throat.
Bart glanced over when he heard the feminine sound.
"Oh, Blair, I thought you might be Chuck," he said, before turning his attention back to the mirror. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, sir," Blair began hesitantly. "I was wondering if you might remember something about last night?"
"Blair," Bart said, "Chuck was very well behaved at Victrola. No need to worry." Bart had been a little amazed him self. He'd been amazed that his son had managed to land Blair Waldorf in the first place. Of course they were only juniors, but it was still quite miraculous in his opinion that his son had actually fallen for one girl. He'd almost given up hope of Chuck ever leaving his partying for the real world.
Blair sighed. She already knew that. Chuck wasn't an idiot. He knew she'd find out—she did have her ways. Besides, they had already been over this—it was something they'd had to deal with in the past two months that they'd been together. He knew he was allowed to look, not touch. And if he did touch, she was allowed to as well. The thought of Blair having anything to do with another guy was enough to make him fume. If she actually had any contact, he knew he wouldn't be able to stand it. Hence, he didn't touch either.
"That's not my question," Blair said.
"Well?" Bart asked.
"Do you happen to remember when he left?" Blair asked. "Maybe he made a mention of where he was going?"
"Why?" Bart asked, turning away from the mirror, interest peaked.
"Well, sir," Blair started. "He's running a little late and…"
"You have no idea where he is," Bart finished for her. His face was returning to that scary look that hid all expression from his face.
"Well, that's not exactly true," Blair improvised. "I just need to know where he might have gone—"
Bart sighed, seeing through her attempt at avoiding the truth. "Does Lily know?"
"No," Blair said firmly. "And she doesn't have to."
"Well, it won't be the end of the world," Bart said briskly. "Eric can fill in for him."
Blair had a look on her face that clearly indicated that she had something else to say but really didn't want to say it.
Bart sighed, resignedly. "Eric is with him." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.
"Yes, sir," Blair answered.
"Don't tell Lily," Bart commanded. "That boy." He shook his head. Leave it to Chuck to pull something like this on today of all days.
"So, do you remember anything?" Blair asked hopefully.
Bart shook his head. "Chuck didn't say anything to me," he answered.
Blair let out a breath.
"I had Dexter check his room," Blair explained. "They're not there. Neither of them answered their cell phones. I think Eric's is turned off."
Bart turned back to the mirror. A master at hiding his emotions, he just adjusted the tie again as he thought about where his son might be.
"How about Nate?" Bart asked finally.
"N-Nate?" Blair tried not to stutter over the name, to no avail. She hadn't spoken to Nate since that day in front of the school when she'd chosen Chuck over him. She knew that Chuck had been trying to break through Nate's stubbornness for a while, but apparently Nate knew how to hold a grudge. She'd taken to calling him "Natalie" around Chuck. Only a girl could hold a grudge this long.
"Sir, I don't think he's a possibility," Blair explained gently. She thought Bart knew that the boys weren't exactly the best of friends anymore. "Chuck and Nate haven't really spoken lately."
"Oh," Bart said, confused. "Well, don't call him then."
Blair nodded. She hadn't been planning on even trying him.
She started to turn to leave, still trying to figure out what to do.
"I just thought that since Nate was at Victrola last night, they had made up," Bart said.
"What?" Blair turned around quickly, shocked. Her voice was a little too loud.
Bart shrugged. "He disappeared around the same time that Chuck did, so I assumed they left together."
"Th-thank you," Blair managed to murmur. There she went, stuttering again.
She left the room abruptly, not bothering to say anything else to Bart.
She walked down the hall to an alcove with a small bench and sat down, rather unladylike, with a "hmph!"
Why, why, why, why, why? Why did she have to be the one to call Nate? She opened her phone. She definitely didn't want to. Maybe someone else could.
S, N was w E and C. try calling him.
She didn't have to wait long for a response.
B! thats gr8 news. i cant call, u do it! mom just asked about E. i lied. just find them!
Blair sighed. She was Blair Waldorf. She can do anything…even call an ex-boyfriend, who hadn't spoken to her in a long time, to ask about the whereabouts of her current boyfriend. Well, it sounded possible in theory.
She cleared her throat before she finally called.
The phone was ringing on the other end. That was a good sign.
Then it went to voicemail.
Groaning, Blair ended the call.
Without any other option, she pressed send again.
Finally he answered the phone. "'ello?" She could barely make out the word.
"Hello Nate," she said firmly, not allowing any of her nervousness over the call to show through.
There was silence for a few seconds. She almost thought he went back to sleep, but finally…
"Blair?" he managed to say a little clearer, sounding slightly bewildered.
"Yes," she answered. "Are Eric and Chuck with you?"
He coughed, trying to clear his throat. His head was killing him and he hadn't even bothered opening his eyes yet. He didn't remember a lot about last night. He wouldn't have even answered the phone except it was somewhere near his head, and the ringing kept shooting piercing pains through his skull.
"Nate?" she asked again a little louder, wondering if he was going to keep silent to be a jerk.
"Shh…" he said sharply then grabbed his head as the sound reverberated around his brain. "Let me look," he whispered.
He cracked one eye before wincing at the early afternoon light streaming in through the window. He was on his back but could barely make out his surroundings. He struggled to a sitting position, holding his head firmly so it didn't start wobbling on his neck.
He finally got both eyes open and stared at the mess around him. He was lying on a couch in the den at his house. Chuck was stretched out on the other couch to the right of him. Eric was sleeping to the left, sitting at the card table, with his head down on the tabletop. There were quite a few empty beer bottles and a couple of partially full liquor bottles everywhere.
He winced again as he turned to put his feet on the floor and tried to stand up. There were cards all over the table and all over the floor. There were also some poker chips here and there.
Everything was starting to come back to him.
Chuck had called last night to invite him to the party. Chuck had obviously already been drinking. He insisted that Nate get off his ass, stop acting like a girl, and come down and join in the festivities.
Nate had almost hung up on him, but something made him change his mind. Maybe it was because he was alone doing absolutely nothing on a Friday night. Maybe it was because he hadn't been to Victrola yet and wanted to check out the venue. Maybe it was because Chuck had been bugging him for weeks and Nate just wanted to go and punch him to make him shut up and stop calling… Or maybe it was because he was missing his best friend and realized his stubbornness in not forgiving him wasn't hurting anyone but himself.
Whatever the reason, he'd gone. He'd had a blast. He'd gotten smashed.
The boys had decided to go to Nate's because his mother was visiting relatives in Connecticut and that meant they'd have the entire house to themselves. Chuck had mumbled something about too many family members living at The Palace, and too many employees snooping around. Chuck didn't want someone to come along and take Eric away before things got really good.
And it had gotten good. They started out playing poker because Eric didn't know how. They played regular straight poker for a few hands then showed him some Texas Hold'em. They'd gotten bored with that relatively quickly and decided to play King Cup.
Nate pulled his shirt up and looked at his stomach. Yeah, they'd played King Cup alright—the permanent marker on his stomach was a definite indication.
King Cup was a drinking/dare/shot/rule game all rolled into one. All 52 cards in a deck were laid facedown on the table. If you drew a red number card, you had to take that number of drinks. If you drew a black number card, you got to make any other person of your choosing take that number of drinks—or you could split up the number between more than one person.
If you drew an Ace, it meant a waterfall. The person who drew the card started drinking his beer and then the next person started, and then the next. Everyone had to keep drinking without taking the bottle away from their mouths until the first person stopped, then the next person could stop, and finally the last person. If you broke the fall, everyone had to do it again.
If you drew a Jack, you had to take a shot—Chuck took great pride in mixing the most elaborate shot concoctions he could dream of.
If you drew a Queen, you got to make a rule that everyone had to follow. If anyone didn't follow the rule, they had to take a drink. By the end of the night they couldn't say each other's names, they had to touch the beer bottle to their foreheads before taking any drinks, they couldn't throw up, and they couldn't say the words that began with the letter "L". Eric was the only one to break the "throw up" rule. Chuck had just laughed and given him a beer to wash his mouth out—though both Chuck and Nate had backed off on plying Eric with alcohol after that.
And if you drew a King, you had to do a dare. You got to choose who would give you the dare though, so neither Eric nor Nate was stupid enough to ask Chuck for one. Chuck had ended up drawing two of the Kings. So he was forced to draw a picture in permanent marker on Nate's stomach because Chuck chose Eric for his first dare. For the second, he'd chosen Nate… who retaliated by making Chuck draw a picture on Eric's ass. Hopefully nobody would be looking at those body parts anytime soon.
When Nate drew his King card, Eric dared Nate to stick his tongue to the freezer door. He'd gotten stuck and blood was drawn when Chuck pulled him off. Nate and Chuck were too drunk to even make fun of Eric for giving Nate such an elementary school dare. When Eric drew his King card, Nate—who wanted to show Eric how the 'big boys' played this game—dared Eric to order a pizza and answer the door in the nude. Needless to say, the delivery guy got a much more interesting tip than he normally would.
It was an excellent night and reminded Nate of how much fun he'd always had hanging out with Chuck.
But just because he'd basically forgiven Chuck, it didn't mean he was ready to talk to Blair. Unfortunately, she was still on the phone.
"Yeah," he croaked out. "They're here."
"Let me talk to Chuck," Blair demanded—relief and anger going through her.
"He's asleep," Nate whispered.
"Well, wake him up!" she scolded, a lot louder now.
"Whoa," Nate said, pulling the phone away from his ear. "Chill with the volume."
"Nathaniel Archibald, Chuck and Eric have about twenty minutes to get dressed and get to the church. The wedding is today and if they're not here, Lily is going to flip!" she shouted, not caring that he was obviously in the process of dealing with a hangover.
Nate pulled the phone even further away and waited for her to finish the rant that he could have heard through his phone from a mile away.
Then her words finally registered through the fuzz. Shit.
He walked gingerly over to Chuck and shook his arm. He didn't budge.
"Chuck," Nate said. It came out as more of a whisper. Nate cleared his throat again and winced before saying much louder, "Chuck!"
Chuck jerked up on his elbows from his position lying facedown on the couch. At the same time, Nate grabbed his own head and wobbled.
"What's your problem?" Chuck muttered. He didn't even bother trying to move again just lay there on his elbows with his eyes closed.
"The wedding, man," Nate whispered.
"What about it?" Chuck croaked out.
"It's in twenty minutes," Nate said. He could hear a squeaking sound and realized it was Blair shouting into her phone.
"It's for you," Nate said before tossing the phone on Chuck and turning to sit down on his couch again. The world was all askew. He needed to close his eyes to make it stop spinning.
Chuck was trying to focus, but he was having some difficulty. Every time Eric drew a black number card, he'd given it to Chuck. Probably because Chuck kept giving his to Eric—hey, it was his new brother. It was Chuck's job to get him as shit-faced as possible. He needed to find out what the boy could handle. In the process, Chuck had to suffer through drinking tons of beer—something he didn't normally touch—but it was the drink of choice for this particular game.
Well, Eric was going to be his new brother. They just had to get past the wedding first…
What time was it anyway? Then he registered the squeaking sound coming from whatever it was Nate had just thrown at him. He plopped down and reached for the thing.
Ah, it was a cell phone.
He brought it up to his ear in time for, "—twenty minutes! Lily might even call it off if she thinks Chuck is a bad influence on Eric! WAKE HIM UP!"
Chuck clamored up off the couch as he finally realized what was going on, "Blair?"
"Chuck! Where is Eric?" Blair started breathing a little easier now that she was finally speaking to him. "I don't care if you can't make it—you can deal with your father. But you better have Eric here in," she looked at the clock on the wall, "eighteen minutes!"
Chuck groaned and started walking toward Eric. "I think we might have a problem then."
"Chuck, what did you do?" Blair asked, knowing him too well.
"Eric's just a little…out of it," Chuck explained. He nudged Eric's shoulder. The boy was still passed out cold on the table. Amazingly he'd only thrown up once. He'd been quite the trouper. Of course, he'd ended up falling asleep sitting on the chair… and it looked like when he picked his head up, he was going to have the imprint of a poker chip somewhere near his hairline.
"Chuck," Blair almost spat out his name. He winced. He could tell she was really angry. "Give him your special brew, toss him in a shower, give him some of Nate's clothes, and get him here before Lily notices he's missing. And you better make sure he doesn't look or act hung over! Oh, and Serena is probably going to kill you, so fair warning."
"I'm on it," Chuck muttered before turning the phone off.
He didn't know how he was going to manage to do all that in… seventeen minutes. The clock just kept ticking.
He sent a quick text to Blair on Nate's phone and got to work.
Blair groaned and covered her eyes. Why? Why were things always so much crazier with Chuck around? She knew she'd laugh about all this and be relieved when it was over… but right now she just wanted to strangle him.
She put her phone away and went to Bart's room first. She tapped softly before entering. He was sitting, enjoying a tumbler of scotch, waiting for the time he was supposed to leave and stand at the altar.
Blair said, "They're on their way."
Bart nodded, just staring at his drink.
Blair watched in weird fascination for a few seconds. She'd seen Chuck do that same movement too many times not to be creeped out by seeing his father do it too. She finally shook herself and got back to the topic at hand.
"I need to stall for a few minutes," Blair explained.
Bart just nodded again.
And Blair thought Chuck was good at hiding what he was thinking. Bart truly took the cake.
"Tell Lily that I had a small business emergency," Bart said, clearing his throat. He knew that Lily would be a little annoyed, but she'd get over it. If she thought Chuck was corrupting Eric, she might call off the entire wedding. He didn't want that. "Tell her I need until quarter after—that should give Chuck enough time, yes?" He arched his eyebrows in question.
Blair nodded. She wasn't really sure herself, but it would definitely help. Chuck just got a full thirty minutes. She hoped he put it to good use.
be here by 2:15. that's all i can get
Chuck breathed a sigh of some relief.
He'd already used up about five minutes of his time dragging Eric into a cold shower. Eric had managed to wake up, but he wasn't very coherent. Chuck was hoping the shower would help. Chuck didn't have many options so he shoved Eric in the shower fully clothed. Chuck managed to get completely drenched too.
He shouted to Nate to find them both some clothes while he threw a towel over Eric's head. Fortunately, the shower had done its job because Eric was actually starting to make some sort of independent motion.
Nate finally arrived with the clothes. Chuck left Eric in the bathroom to change while he went to the next room. He sent Nate off to get coffee from the housekeeper.
After changing, Chuck got Eric down the steps and out the door at the same time that Nate got the drinks and left out too.
The limo was already waiting.
"You look absolutely gorgeous, Lily!" Blair exclaimed as she walked into the room.
"Aw, Blair, thank you," Lily said with a wide smile. She knew she looked amazing. She had decided to commission one of her dearest friends, who happened to be a rising star in the fashion world, to create the delicious concoction she was wearing to wed Bart Bass.
"Where have you been?" asked that dear friend of her daughter.
"Mother, I just spoke to Bart," Blair said.
Serena looked up from flouncing out the hem of Lily's dress. She had been holding down the fort as desperately as possible. There were about five minutes until two o'clock. Had Blair managed to achieve the impossible?
"Yes, well," Eleanor said dismissively, "come over here and sit. Your hair needs a quick touch up."
Blair did as she was told but continued talking. "Lily, there was a fire at one of Bart's hotels in California," she improvised. "He's going to need a few extra minutes to settle things. I'm sure the guests won't even notice. Ten, fifteen minutes tops."
Lily rolled her eyes, feeling slightly annoyed. "Well, I guess emergencies need to be seen to, no matter how important a day is." She had waited three months to marry Bart. Fifteen more minutes wasn't going to bother her. She'd probably get some mention about being "fashionably late" for her own wedding.
Blair tried not to show her relief that the explanation worked. Serena was amazed that everything worked out so well too. Eleanor just adjusted a few of the curls in Blair's hair, accepting Bart's request and not caring really.
"I do wonder why Eric hasn't come by yet," Lily said, slightly bewildered. She hadn't seen her son all morning. She thought Eric might stop by and reassure her that she looked amazing and give further congratulations—at least that's what he would usually do.
"Oh, he's in the room with Bart and Chuck," Blair hastened to explain. "I'm sure he's just being 'one of the guys'," she said the last with some sarcastic amusement. "You'll see him soon enough," she reassured.
"Really?" Lily asked, confused. "I thought Serena said he spent the night at Dan's and was stuck in traffic on the way back."
Serena winced. Dan had gone to the party only because Bart was trying to make a connection with Serena by including her boyfriend. While Dan appreciated the gesture, burlesque clubs were not his cup of tea. Dan had left very early, calling Serena to let her know he had at least greeted Bart. She called him this morning when she was trying to find Eric and Chuck but he didn't have anything to report. When Lily started asking Serena about Eric, she lied and said that Eric had left the party early with Dan.
Dan had been spending more time with Eric lately, so Lily readily believed that. Now that Vanessa was back in Vermont indefinitely—Dan didn't talk to her at all—and Jenny was living with their mother in Hudson and going to school there, Dan didn't have too many people to hang out with. He'd become better friends with Eric and spent the majority of his free time with Serena. Dan still missed Jenny, but it'd been impossible to live with her after she betrayed him. Rufus really hadn't wanted to send Jenny to Hudson, but it was better for Jenny to start over at a new school and not have any reminders of who she would never be.
Jenny still hadn't quite accepted her limited station in life, but going to public school was going a long way to introducing her to the real world. If Jenny wanted to be popular at her new school, she was going to have to abandoned good graces and her hoity toity rich girl attitude. She worked her butt of in her classes though. Even if she wasn't at a prep school or very popular at the moment, she intended to try to get into the best college she could get into. Then she'd start over with trying to make her way up the social ladder, maybe landing a well-connected son of the elite in the process.
"Well, that's where he was, but now he's here and he's with Bart and Chuck," Blair covered, completely fabricating the story and going with the flow. "Dan's already waiting with the rest of the guests." She honestly had no idea where Dan was. She didn't care either. She figured that Dan would be the last person on Lily's mind when she walked down the aisle—she wouldn't even bother looking to see if he was really there.
Lily just nodded, accepting Blair's words.
Serena looked at Blair. Blair looked at Serena and shrugged.
It was all up to Chuck now.
"Here, drink this," Chuck said as he pushed a mug into Eric's hand. Eric took a hold of it but could barely drink it, it was so hot.
"Let it scald," Chuck commanded. "Burning your mouth is bound to wake you up."
Eric just glared at him and blew on the liquid before attempting to sip it.
Chuck rolled his eyes and tried to drink his own. He wished he had some of his normal green sludge hangover brew.
Of course, no amount of green sludge was going to remove the bloodshot look from Eric's eyes. Chuck just shrugged. Eric was supposed to tell anyone who asked that he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He could only hope that Lily would believe it.
Nate didn't care what he looked like. He was trying to rest on the seat and probably wouldn't get out of the car when it stopped. He didn't even know why he'd decided to get in the car back at the house. He might drag himself to the reception afterward, but he knew there was no way he was sitting through the vows. He knew that if his mother was in town, he would've gotten to sit through the nuptials. Fortunately though, his mother had been trying to avoid any society functions until his father got out of rehab and could join her. Therefore, the wedding was being avoided too by indicating that she had a familial obligation.
Chuck was slowly beginning to process everything. He had remembered everything from last night, but he hadn't made a point of saying anything else to Nate about the situation. He was too busy trying to get to the wedding.
Now that they had nothing but time to sit in the limo until it arrived at the church—because Lily decided she just had to be married in a church—Chuck actually had time to think.
Chuck had been trying for the past two months to make up with Nate. In a stroke of drunken genius, he'd called Nate to see if he could talk him into coming to the party. He'd been thrilled when Nate agreed. He'd been even happier when Nate hung out with him and Eric all night and left with them too.
As horrible as he was feeling—and as horrible as Nate and Eric had to be feeling—Chuck was actually in pretty good spirits.
He was curious to see if things were really going to work out now.
Only time… and sobering up… would tell.
And, of course, Chuck and Eric managed to make it to the church by 2:08. They snuck undetected into Bart's room after sending a text message to Blair to provide cover. They dressed in their suits in record time, shoving combs through their hair to attempt to lessen the bed-head look. Eric had to make sure his hair covered the poker chip imprint that was still on his forehead.
Bart didn't say a word to Chuck. Chuck didn't say a word to Bart.
Chuck knew he was going to hear about it later, but right now Bart was more concerned about them getting ready in time.
Bart headed to the altar through an entrance closer to the front. Chuck and Eric went to join the girls at the back of the church.
Serena couldn't stop shooting daggers with her eyes at Chuck. He just ignored her.
Blair was watching Eric with amusement. Did she detect the second coming of the van der Woodsen wild child? Serena would flip if Chuck didn't let up. Blair almost wanted to tell Chuck to back off… almost. She figured Eric deserved a little fun, and who better to introduce him to fun than Chuck Bass?
Lily just breathed a sigh of relief that the wedding party was ready, completely unaware of what she'd missed. She looked around the crowd until she saw where Dan was sitting. She resolved not to look in that direction at all. Today was about Bart, marrying Bart. She would have never snubbed Dan, especially since he was so good for Serena, but she didn't want to think about the Humphreys at all today.
Eric told his mother that she looked beautiful, finally remembering that he probably should tell her that. Chuck quickly turned Lily's attention away from Eric by saying the same thing. Lily thanked both boys then told them to turn and ready themselves for their walk down the aisle.
And then they were walking down the aisle to their designated positions. Then the wedding march began and all the guests "oohed and aahed" as Lily walked down the aisle. Flashes went off from every direction but she was unfazed. She finished her walk toward Bart who smiled, amazed that this woman had agreed to marry him, and took her hand.
They turned toward the priest and the ceremony officially began.
There were no more disturbances, no interruptions when the priest asked if anyone opposed the marriage. The "I do's" were exchanged, the rings were fitted to fingers; and the kiss was beautiful even though Serena and Eric couldn't watch.
Then the newlyweds left, going down the aisle and out of the church, hopping into the limo that would bring them to the reception at The Palace.
Everyone else followed. Chuck's limo came around to pick up the rest of the wedding party plus Dan. Nate was still asleep on the seat. Chuck pushed him off the seat onto the floor but still didn't manage to wake him up.
"So, what did you do last night?" Serena asked Eric, that big sister protective tone in her voice.
"Uh… played some cards?" Eric said, looking toward Chuck. Eric didn't know what he should or should not say. Chuck gave him a really tiny shake of his head to indicate that he was not to say anything else.
"Really?" Blair asked, amused again. She had seen that look between Chuck and Eric. She knew something else had happened. She figured she'd ask Chuck later. She did have some ammunition. "What game?"
"Go Fish," Chuck said it without any sarcasm whatsoever, as if Serena would actually believe him.
Serena glared at him again. She'd been doing that a lot all afternoon.
"Oh, I will," Blair said impishly. Chuck looked at her with a question; then rolled his eyes. He knew her too well. She seemed to think she was going to be able to get all the details of last night out of him. But it wasn't going to happen. Some things were titled "just the guys" and this was one of them.
Blair saw the look on his face and knew exactly what he was thinking. She couldn't help but smirk.
"I don't suppose you've checked your voicemail all morning?" Blair asked innocently.
"No," Chuck said, instinctively reaching for his phone.
She just smirked again before turning her attention back to Dan. "So, Cindy, what'd you think of Victrola?"
Dan, tired of the nicknames as per usual, and loving any chance to annoy Chuck, answered the best way he knew how, "Oh, it was definitely… interesting… but Serena?" He looked toward his girlfriend, away from Blair.
"Yes?" she asked, finally dragging her attention away from glaring at Chuck while he listened to his voice mail.
"I thought your new brother was straight," Dan asked, pretending perplexity. "I felt like I had fallen into the middle of the set of Victor, Victoria."
Chuck portrayed sly amusement. "Daniel, my boy, that's the atmosphere. It's a place for everyone, with every fantasy imaginable. Remember, what happens at Victrola, stays at Victrola."
"There were cross dressers there?" Eric asked, completely surprised and finally understanding Dan's question. He had thought they were all females.
Everyone in the limo looked at him, startled, going silent for the moment.
Chuck had just gotten to the voicemail that Blair was referring to and because of the silence all anyone could hear was the sound of her voice shouting into Chuck's ear: "Charles Bass, if you don't answer this phone in the next minute there will be no sex tonight! Do you hear me? No sex!"
Between that and Eric's question, everyone started laughing.
Chuck closed the phone.
Well, Blair was going to have to find out something that happened last night after all… she just didn't need to know everything. There was no way he wasn't getting any tonight. His dad was leaving for the honeymoon after the reception. Chuck had an entire week of freedom before his father and new mother returned. Then he'd be forced to live with them and two annoying siblings. His level of privacy was going down the tubes. Of course that's what his limo was for… as long as his father didn't try to intrude on that too.
Blair's mother had been spending more time at home now that her Victoria Secret line was taking off. Working with more American companies was keeping her in the states… and made the Waldorf penthouse less than adequate for after school trysts.
Even though he was tired of all the changes, it didn't make him love Blair any less or want to spend less time with her. In fact, the past couple of months had shown that they still got into arguments and still had several issues to deal with.
The first had been his propensity for womanizing. That was settled quickly when Blair told him that she would be allowed to do whatever she wanted to as well.
The second was that he wanted to know everything she was doing. If she wasn't with him or at school, he had to know where she was. She got really tired, really quickly, of his possessiveness. He was still working on that. It amazed him that she didn't need to know what he was doing 24/7. He'd asked her once and she'd said something about nothing getting past Gossip Girl. But he soon realized that the real reason was that she trusted him. He had to admit that he had no reason to not trust her… he just wanted to know everything.
They were far from the perfect couple, but they'd managed to stay together during the past two months… if that wasn't miraculous, he didn't know what was.
The reception was perfection as expected.
The food even matched the plate pattern—as Blair made sure to point out to Serena. Serena could have gone the rest of her life without any reference to the plate patterns. The day Blair and Dan went snooping for information against Jenny, Serena had been dragged to the first of four place setting planning sessions. Her mother was completely anal. She made Blair look sloppy!
Serena had declared that whenever it was her turn to get married, she was using paper or Styrofoam plates… and that was that. Blair just wrinkled her nose in disgust.
Nate finally managed to drag himself out of the limo halfway through the festivities. His hair was all askew, and his bloodshot eyes matched Eric's, but he was there. He even managed to button his shirt so the buttons weren't uneven.
He still didn't say much to Blair throughout the evening—he wasn't sure what to say to her.
He had noticed how happy she seemed ever since she got back together with Chuck. It was the same look on her face that he'd noticed before Cotillion. Obviously Chuck made her far happier than Nate ever could. And while he knew he would always love Blair Waldorf, he also knew that letting her go was the best way to show that love. But knowing that and putting it into practice were two different things… hence, he preferred to act stubborn.
Not anymore though.
He was going to try. He had made baby steps with Chuck the night before. Chuck wasn't holding any grudge and seemed to be stuck to his side. Chuck didn't want to give Nate a chance to change his mind or leave. Nate still wasn't sure if he could deal with being around Chuck and Blair acting like a couple—he'd become masterful at avoiding the two of them at school—but it was time to move on and forgive Chuck at least. Chuck couldn't help it if Blair was happier with him.
"Why do you keep calling Eric 'maneater'?" Blair asked Chuck, amused.
Chuck just shrugged, trying to hide his smile. Eric had thrown a cracker at him when he'd said that. Then he'd left the table.
Chuck couldn't help it. It was all part of how rude and crude teenage boys could get when it came to dares.
Of course, no one else was going to see the picture on Eric's ass, but 'maneater' seemed to be the perfect nickname for the teeth Chuck had drawn, along with the words "FEED ME."
Eric hadn't been amused.
Nate had cracked up. Unfortunately, both Chuck and Nate had been too late with their camera phones and missed getting a picture of Chuck's masterpiece. The image would just have to live on in their memories.
It was finally time for the bouquet and garter throwing.
The females all lined up eagerly and Lily let lose.
Due to her height, Serena managed to catch the bouquet. A lot of the other "single" ladies around her were disappointed but Serena just laughed before making a very exaggerated stare at Dan across the room.
Dan nodded. He was supposed to catch the garter. He understood what she was saying and he was ready. He didn't want anyone else to touch Serena's thigh.
Bart removed the blue and white garter from Lily's leg and tossed it.
Unfortunately, the garter flew through the air and went straight to Chuck. Chuck hadn't even been trying. And though he wouldn't have minded touching his new sister's leg—it would drive her insane—he didn't want to hear about it from Blair later. So, he figured Maneater would do with keeping in on the incest ploy.
Eric wasn't even paying attention; he was too busy talking to Nate about the quickest way to get permanent marker off skin. He paused, mid-word, when Chuck stretched the garter as wide as it could go and fitted it haphazardly around Eric's head. It almost immediately un-stretched, but it stayed on-top of Eric's head precariously.
Everyone just laughed as Eric reached up to remove the material with an odd look on his face. He didn't know who had caught the bouquet. He shrugged and proceeded to the front. If Chuck figured this was part of his new "education", Eric was down with it.
Eric would have probably chased Chuck with the garter—or tossed it to Dan—if Serena had walked to the front of the room. But, she didn't.
As soon as Serena saw that the garter had landed in Chuck's hands, she tossed the bouquet to a startled Blair.
So now Blair was making her way to the front. She just grinned when she saw that Eric was the one with the garter. She planted her foot on top of the chair.
Wolf-whistles were coming from all directions as Eric lifted her foot, fitted the material around and up her ankle.
Chuck shook his head in amusement at the change in events. Then he cursed when Maneater slipped his hands further up Blair's thigh than he probably should have gone.
Finally Eric stopped, deciding he'd probably gotten the thing on well enough—he really had no idea what he was doing, though he felt more comfortable doing it since it was Blair and she was like a sister to him.
Blair brought her foot down and planted a kiss on Eric's cheek. The two turned for a photo before they made their way back to their friends.
Eric was smirking at Chuck. "Watch it," Chuck warned good-naturedly.
Eric shrugged and asked Blair to dance purposefully. Blair went along, flashing Chuck an amused grin.
Chuck watched them go, shaking his head.
She was definitely going to keep him on his toes.
"Careful man," Nate teased, "he's moving in on your territory."
Chuck laughed, "Thanks for the warning, Minute Man."
Nate wasn't amused. "Not funny," he murmured before wondering over to ask one of Serena's distant cousins to dance.
Chuck almost hadn't put the words on Nate's stomach—he didn't want to start an argument—but Chuck decided that he was going to be exactly who he was around Nate. He wasn't going to change or back-off if he thought he might offend Nate. He wanted to be real friends with Nate again…
So printing "PREMATURE EJACULATOR" across his stomach with pictures of little sperm swimming around the words seemed just about perfect.
I love and appreciate all reviews that everyone sends me! However, I do pick a couple of the ones that represent my work well and post them on my profile as a way to advertise my stories and draw others in. FUBAR has been complete for a couple of months now, and I feel as though its time to move the praise for work for FUBAR from my profile page. However, I couldn't bring myself to just completely delete them, so I decided to post them here instead. Thanks, once again, for all the support and love everyone has shown this story. I'm so glad that I've been able to make your haitus from the show that much more pleasurable! :)
So, without further ado...
"...The confrontation between them was everything I would want it to be. Hot, intense, witty and beautiful. They have both grown up. Under your control the characters have had some amazing growth." Noirreigne, Chapter 16: Tattoo Part 2
"FUBAR is my absolute Favorite of every GG story you've written. I have such mad love for it, it's just the perfect blend of drama and angst and shocking twists and wickedness and straight out funniness(and it's Blair-Chuck!)." pokey
"Very few manage to scheme well for Blair, and that was very very Blair-like, perfect... will probably print this out one day and come up with a way to bind it..." Guard of the Heradi, Chapter 18: Bomb's Away
"I can honestly say I have never read a piece of fanfiction so true to the show that it is supporting. You are a marvellous author and this piece of writing shows it." trorygirl
"I love your Chuck, so nasty even as he falls for Blair-so many people re-write him as a nice guy!" SpringSnow
"Okay, so you know how sometimes you love something (be it book, TV show, movie, band, whatever) with all you heart and it is so amazing and then at the end it just doesn't come through? It might be okay but it isn't as good as you thought it would be. It doesn't have the standard that you expected and waited for (I'm talking to you Spiderman 3, the Killers second album, the last two Princess Diary books (gah, you suck so bad-not that I loved you but you were entertaining), Second season of Heroes-you have all made me love you and then broke my heart like a heartless bitch). Well FUBAR is the complete opposite of that, because it just got better and better and then had the best freaking end ever! I love you. Seriously, you are amazing. This was the perfect end to the perfect story." pokey