And yet I wonder

1. Why is it that the Professor has never been able to grow hair, even as a child? C'mon, you've all seen the cartoon. In that one episode when he's like, in college, he's bald. Is this some kind of disorder or maybe he just chooses not to grow hair? Does hair conflict with his religious beliefs?

2. Why doesn't Apocalypse have a cat? Seriously, he would be so much better if he sat in some spinning chair stroking a cat. And he needs an eyepatch too! So then he spins around in his spinning chair, stroking his cat, and glaring at the X-Men out of his ONE eye, and he goes: "Welcome to my underground lair, X-Men." Instant classic.

3. Can you play Solitaire on Cerebro?

4. What kind of idiot made Jean's outfit peach-coloured in that damn cartoon? I thought that was supposed to be a children's show! Until up to like, a year ago, I was convinced that she was pretty much naked and all she had to cover herself was that little blue thong-type thing. (Don't laugh at me. Laugh with me.)

5. Are Wolverine's teeth also adamantium? Does he get cavities? Does he fear the dentist as much as a normal person does? Or does Wolverine fear nothing? Does he even have to go to the dentist? If not he's a lucky, lucky, bastard.

6. Does Wolverine comb his chest hair?

7. Why is he always nakey in the comics? (Not that I'm complaining...)

8. Five words: "Oh my stars and garters"?!

9. Mystique as a principal in X-Men Evolution? What's wrong with THIS picture?

10. Why Snikt? Wouldn't it be like "Clang!" or "Ding!" Lol...ding...

11. Why is Beast blue? Everyone's blue. Mystique's blue. Nightcrawler's blue. Why not red? Or perhaps a nice shade of magenta? That would suit Beast well, which leads into number...

12. Is Beast gay?

13. Of course he is.

14. Would Jean get first degree burns from turning into fire incarnate and all every now and then?

15. How does Professor X's chair hover? Is it like a future hover chair? A magic hover chair? IS
PROFESSOR X MAGIC?! CAN HE FLY?! Is he trying to shroud his magic abilities by flying around in a hover chair?!

16. Does his hover chair need gas?

Professor X: *flies up to gas station* ...Fill 'er up.

Magneto: MAGNETO'S CAR NEEDS NO GAS! *flies away in his magic car* Score one for Magnetoooooooooooooooo...

Peter Pan boys: He can fly, he can fly, he can flyyyyyyyyy!

17. Whoa, number 16 was fukked up.

18. Why hasn't Eugene the monkey (read my other fan fics) been introduced into Uncanny X-Men yet? That comic would be so much better with Eugene the monkey. Oooh, maybe we could even get him his OWN comic..."Eugene: The Joy of Monkey."

19. Does Beast really believe that his little trenchcoat disguise will sheild him from prying eyes? OK, no trenchcoat, no matter what it's size, would be able to totally disguise a 300 pound blue furry monkey man.

20. What can tempt the untemptable Hugh Jackman? THIS BERET! (inside joke)


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/---------\ ----My friend's pathetic attempt at drawing a beret.