Secret Santa by Ravenfur

AN: This is an hour fic, written entirely in one hour. I guess I've been watching too much Star Trek recently, as this little idea wouldn't let me be.

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis isn't mine, and neither is the Star Trek franchise.

Kate Heightmeyer looked at the Marine sitting across from her in her office. It wasn't often that the Atlantis Expedition's psychologist had one of the Marines willingly make an appointment with her, and it was another matter altogether when said Marine came to her office sobbing and clutching the present he had gotten in the second annual Atlantis Secret Santa exchange.

"Ryan, calm down. Take a deep breath. Now, what's wrong?" Kate said soothingly, or at least tried to be soothing.

It didn't help. Although Sgt. Ryan Winters, one of the men in the group assigned to guard the Stargate, did begin to breathe, he was still sobbing. "This!" he said, dropping his Christmas present on the coffee table in between the two.

Kate looked it over. The gift certainly looked normal enough. "What's wrong with it?"

"Everything! What isn't wrong with it! If I wear this, I'll die!" Winters began sobbing again.

Surprised at the amount of tears that the battle-hardened Marine had in him, Kate decided to tackle this one problem at a time. "Alright, so you think you'll die if you wear this. What exactly is giving you that impression?"

"I've seen Star Trek!"

Kate was still confused at why such a normal-looking present would reduce a Marine to tears. "Why Star Trek?" she asked, looking at the t-shirt in front of her.

"It's RED!" Kate knew she would get no more sense out of the man, and resolved to look up why a red shirt would break the man so thoroughly.

Across the city, John Sheppard and Rodney McKay were setting up a laptop. Normally Heightmeyer's office was off the security camera's displays, but Rodney knew the systems better than anyone else. It took him two minutes to hack into the system, and another minute until the hidden camera in Kate's office began transmitting video. What they saw sent the pair into gales of laughter.

John looked at Rodney approvingly when they got themselves under control. "Very nice."

"Well, I had to get back at him after he tried to flood my room." Rodney was grinning.

"You rigged the Secret Santa exchange, didn't you," John guessed. The astrophysicist nodded. "Also nice. But how did you know he watched Star Trek?"

"Winters was the one who requisitioned the complete Star Trek: The Original Series," Rodney said.

John grinned. "I think that has to be a world record. 'Shortest Amount of Time to Reduce a Marine to Tears' or something. Good work." He then yawned. "Let's go get something to eat. I heard the chef's going to be making cookies. Maybe they're done."

"As long as they're not gingerbread cookies. I hate those." Rodney put in as the two rose and headed off toward the mess hall.