Three is NOT a Crowd

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Harry Potter, or any of the characters mentioned in this story, unless stated otherwise. Rated for some sexual content, violence and language. Any similarities to real life are purely coincidence and I will not be held responsible! Thanks!

WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SLASH (male on male)!! Ye be warned

Author's Note: a New Years present for my lovely fans. (Still can't believe she has fans ) a little idea that my lovely friend StrawberryPunk offered and I thought 'I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T DONE IT!!' Hope you like. My best to all this New Year. Cheers!


Sirius sat staring at the wall. Fuck, where the hell was Mooney? He hated being bored, and at the moment, he was bored out of his skull. He drummed his fingers on the edge of the large comfortable chair. There were too many books in this room… Hmm…maybe he would read while he waited…


Remus couldn't believe it. He was kissing, no, scratch that, he was snogging Bill Weasley like it was the cure for cancer, and it felt…well it felt fucking great, but it was more than that. It felt right. He pulled away only to unlock his front door, before Bill's mouth was covering his again, and they stumbled through the entrance.

Sirius looked up from the heavy tome he was reading as he heard a key in the lock, and jumped up, tossing the book to his empty chair. Then he rounded the doorway to meet Remus at the door, and found him connected rather fervently at the mouth with…Bill Weasley. What the-"Fuck!?"

Both men looked up at him, then, and Remus pulled out of Bill's arms. "Hello Sirius. I… er…didn't think you'd be here."

Sirius had fallen onto his mental ass, and just gaped. "I was…going to surprise you…"

"Looks like you were the one surprised, eh?" said Bill, smirking. Sirius' eyes narrowed.


There was a rather tense silence. Remus put his hands in his pockets, blushing. Sure, he and Sirius were 'more than friends' but… well that had been just a purely sex thing. He was allowed to see other people, right?

"Well," said Sirius, breaking the nasty silence that had settled over the entryway. "I guess I'll just go then. Night." He made to move by, but Remus caught his arm.

"I don't want you to leave." He glanced up at Bill, who looked pensive, but said nothing.

Sirius snorted. "What, you just expect us all to go and have some crazy threesome or something?" There was silence. Sirius gaped at his old friend. "Remus you kinky little werewolf you!"

Bill laughed. "Well I can't say I blame the bloke."

Sirius gaped at him now. "Are you two serious?"

Remus smirked. "No, that's you. You're Sirius."

"Oh, ha, ha. But really, this is…well I can't say I never thought about it, but…"

"Look, if it bothers you, Remus and I can just go upstairs ourselves and-"

He was cut off as Sirius pulled the rather taller and younger man down to kiss him. Remus found himself incredibly aroused at the sight. "That answer your question?"

"I don't believe I asked one" Bill quipped.

Remus cleared his throat and they both looked at him. He looked hungry. "Not that this isn't lovely, but…if we're all in agreement here, I think we should go to a more…er…private place."

"Good call."


When they were upstairs, it was highly awkward. "So, I'm not sure how one normally starts these things…" Remus said.

Sirius chuckled, and moved forward, tugging him closer by the belt. Their lips met, and Remus opened his mouth, allowing the Animagus free reign to explore it, which he did. Naturally.

Then he felt the warm hardness of Bill behind him, lips tasting the skin that connected shoulder and neck, causing Remus to groan heavily. Then the redhead's hands slid round to the front, making quick work of Remus' trouser fasteners, and soon pushed the fabric down his hips. Then Sirius was fondling him as well and it was so immensely erotic, Remus felt his knees begin to go weak.

Sirius pulled their mouths apart, and leaned forward to kiss Bill over Remus' shoulder. Remus made quick work of Padfoot's shirt, pulling the buttons undone, and pushing the garment over his shoulders where it was shrugged to the floor. He then turned, as the two men kissed, in their embrace, and moved to take off Bill's shirt as well.

Finally they broke apart to ravaged Remus once more. He was lain out on the bed, on his back, spread-eagle and naked, while Bill and Sirius just looked at him for a moment.

"God, you're so fucking, sexy Remus," Sirius hissed pleasurably. Bill was behind the Animagus, sucking at his pulse point and unbuttoning his pants. Remus groaned and writhed and the redhead's hand slipped into the front of Sirius trousers, pulling free the hot and very hard length of cock. Sirius gasped and bucked into the touch.

"Look at him Remus" Bill whispered fiercely, sliding his fingers up and down the velvety phallus. "Look how big he is…" Then Bill smirked and let go, moving to shed the rest of his own clothing.

Remus looked up at the very delicious sight of and aroused, rather nude Sirius, and smirked. "You look good enough to eat."

Sirius moved forward, beckoning Mooney forward as well, thrusting out his hips for the lycanthrope to fellatio him. Remus did so, licking the entire length, making Sirius groan as he fisted tufts of sandy hair. Then he took the cock wholly in his mouth, suckling it wantonly, a deep moan from the back of his larynx rumbling over Sirius erection, making it throb.

"Fuck Mooney, yes."

"Starting without me?" Bill asked, mock angry. "How very rude of you. Guess I'll just have to punish you both." He let his finger delve into the deep cleft of Sirius buttocks, prodding the tight ring of muscles. Then he pulled away and spanked the pristine flesh, a bright red handprint appearing on his backside.

Sirius was close to losing it right then, and Remus greedily lapped up the precum that dribbled form his hard-on. "No," said Bill, sensing that Sirius was going to come soon, and not wanting such an occurrence. "Just lay back, Remus, and watch me fuck him senseless. You got that?" Remus nodded. "And don't even think of touching that nice cock of yours either. I want to be balls deep in your asshole before you come."

Both the older men groaned at the filthy language, and Bill smirked, bending Sirius over. "Relax," he murmured into the soft flesh over the small of the black-haired man's back. "This doesn't have to hurt a bit."

Sirius tensed at the pause afterward, before he felt the warm, soft wetness of Bill's tongue pushing through the tightly puckered ring, making Sirius push back onto the delicious intrusion, seeking more contact.

"You like that?" Bill whispered heatedly, and Sirius gasped out a "Yes!" in reply. "Good." And he went back to tonguing the hole until Sirius was sufficiently relaxed. Then he pushed a long, slender digit in.

Sirius winced at the discomfort, and glanced at Mooney, who was clenching the bed sheets in his fisted hands as he watched the scene raptly. Bill looked up at the werewolf as well. "You watching this Remus? Yeah? Let's see that cock of yours. Mmm…nice and hard."

And then without pretence, he rose to a standing position, moving behind Sirius who had his arms braced on the foot of the bed as he bent over at ninety degrees, and thrust the entire length of his cock into the deep, radiated, all encompassing warmth of Sirius ass.

The Animagus gasped, feeling like he might just tear in two, and reared up. Bill, fighting for control in the heady pressure of passageway around his own rock hard erection, gripped the older man's hips in an attempt to keep him stationary. "Fucking Christ. Oh Merlin…oh God…yes, you're so fucking tight Sirius. Mmm, yeah…"

Remus was going into sensory overload. He could feel the blood pounding in his veins and cock, could see the delightfully blatant claim Bill had staked upon his friend's backside, and could hear the soft mewling moans spilling from Sirius parted lips, and the harsh breathing of all three of them.

It was too much. He had to relieve the pressure. He reached for his erection, and fisted it several times, before Sirius took notice. Bill was still in up to the hilt behind, and was doing things with his hands to the Animagus' balls that made colour burst in front of his vision. When he spotted Mooney below him, slightly further up the mattress, he groaned, and pulled him by the hips back. Then he bent, feeling the thick prick in his arse sticking rather enjoyably against his prostate, and began sucking his old friend's cock.

"Oh yes Pads!" Remus whispered a little hoarsely. Bill pulled out of Sirius and thrust back in, cupping his testes. Sirius moaned.

"You two are very naughty boys. I thought I told you that I didn't want Remus coming yet."

"Oh…oh Merlin!" was all Remus could say, and Sirius' mouth was too full to reply.

He pulled out of Sirius roughly, and thrust back in hard, setting a dizzying pace, pushing his lover to the brink, only to snatch away the glorious euphoria of release.

Then he pulled out completely, leaving Sirius to whimper in frustration, pulling his mouth form Remus.

"I think a little spanking will teach you," Bill hissed into Sirius' ear, making the man shiver, before smacking his arse as hard as he could. The sound of flesh hitting flesh made Remus cock twitch. "Oh, the werewolf likes it. Let's give him a show then, shall we?" He pulled Sirius back and moved him so that he sat on the bed and Sirius was laid out over his lap. Remus scrambled up and pressed the hard length of his cock against Bill's back, kissing his neck rather lovingly.

His hand connected with Sirius bottom several more times, each time the loud sound of the slap and Sirius resulting gasp of breath echoing around the lofty room. Remus was pinching at Bill's nipples while he spanked, never tearing his eyes away form the steadily reddening curve of his best mate's ass cheeks.

"Ask Remus to talk dirty" Sirius whimpered as Bill paused to stroke the tender flesh. "It's the hottest fucking thing."



"Talk dirty to me." Somehow it sounded more like a command than a question.

"I don't know what to s-"

"Tell us what you want us to do to that delightfully fit body of yours." Bill was rock hard and he felt himself twitching in anticipation. "Go on."

"I want you to both suck my cock, licking my balls and the head…ooh…and then I want you to finger me, make me nice and hard, and then I want one of you to shove your cock into my asshole. I want you to fuck me until I want to scream. I want you to come in me…"

Sirius was dying as Bill's finger pushed in and out of his hole. The combination of Remus' dirty mouth and the finger was driving him mad.

"Sounds reasonable." Bill let Sirius up. "Go fuck him."

Sirius didn't bother to balk at the command, as he lay Mooney out underneath him, one leg sliding easily over each shoulder, and pressed the tip of his cock to his friend's entrance. "Moan for me baby." Remus moaned gently. "Louder, like you mean it." Remus let a feral sound of pure carnal pleasure rip up his throat.

Sirius gasped as he pushed in, stretching Remus to the brink. The werewolf howled in ecstasy as fire sped up his veins to devour him. Then Sirius felt Bill thrusting into his backside, and as he fucked Remus, he impaled himself again and again on the hot hard length.

He was the first to reach the glorious peak of sexual fulfillment. "I'm coming! Holy fuck, oh fuck, I'm fucking coming! I'm coming, I'm coming…!" And with a gasp a shudder, and a gut wrenching intensity, he felt his seed explode forth and emptied himself in the familiar deep warmth of Remus' arse.

Bill, who was gripped powerfully by the contraction of Sirius' passageway, came next, gasping and riding the older man until he could barely move, milking every last drop of seed form himself. And then, to the sounds of the other two releasing, Remus jerked up and shot his load all over his and Padfoot's stomachs, gripping himself firmly by the base while Sirius pumped him until he crashed down from the height of heavenly completion.

They lie side by side by side as they came down, all three breathing heavily, and covered in a light sheen of sweat. Their limbs were like jelly, and even had they been solid, the three were too exhausted to move.

"Mmm," Padfoot said after a brief interval. "That was the best orgasm I think I've ever had lads."

Remus turned and snuggled into his shoulder as Bill turned and tossed a thigh over the Animagus'

"Agreed" they said together, and then chuckled.

Some more time lapsed as they lay, their heartbeats slowly reverting to normal, the sweat cooling on their nakedness.

Then Bill reached down and caressed the rather lazy length of Sirius cock once more. "Y'know, I was really rather looking forward to having you fuck me."

"And I was wanting to fuck you, you devilish boy." Sirius smiled as he received the open mouthed kiss.

Remus groaned. "You two… Finally, Pads, you've found someone as intolerably horny as you are."

Sirius laughed and pinched a nipple gently, making Remus jerk nonetheless. "You know you love it you dirty fiend."

Bill smirked at the banter, as Remus opened his mouth for a witty response. The redhead cut him off however. "Remus, the only thing the Incredibly Horny Sirius and I want you to do with your mouth for the next little while, is completely non-verbal. Catch my drift?"

Remus smiled and nodded. "Oh yes."


Sunlight streamed in through the thin curtains, making Padfoot blink. He made to get up to go to the loo, but found himself the pillow of two rather delectably naked men. He smiled fondly, rumpling Remus' hair.

Whoever said three was a crowd was most definitely wrong…



Author's Note: so there it is, probably the SMUTTIEST thing I've ever come out with. Not going to say I hope you enjoy it because I fell confident you would. I did. Lots of love, and Happy New Year!!