"Slattern," Severus said evilly, from his position beneath her.
"Oh, shut up!" Hermione said crossly. "How dare she think I'd participate in this nymphomaniacal romp in the middle of a classroom! I have standards!"
"I suppose it is true, that Hermione Granger will do anything to get her grade," Severus delicately insinuated, trying to lever himself up without slipping in the pink potion. "Would you mind, Miss Granger?"
Hermione pushed him back down, glaring at him thunderously as sludge squelched down her cheek. She irritably summoned her wand. With a wave of her hand, the pink disappeared, leaving the classroom and its inhabitants pristinely clean to the naked eye. "First of all," she began, in full lecture mode, "you are no longer my professor. I cannot get a grade from you, so your insinuations are not only vulgar, but also improperly applied. And secondly, I wouldn't cavort with you for a million galleons!"
Severus gave her a contemptuous once-over from his position beneath her. "For a million galleons I could buy much prettier girls than you, Hermione."
"You are such an unmitigated… git!"
"And yet you are still sitting on top of me."
Hermione blushed faintly, "I refuse to dignify that comment with a reply."
"Well, as long as you're there and we are most definitely not going to have sex, I might as well enjoy the situation as best I can. It isn't everyday a Potions Mistress throws herself at me with unbridled passion, even an inferior Potions Mistress."
Her eyes flashing with fire, Hermione stood up quickly and aimed a kick at his prone body. He grunted in paint, but continued to smirk. "I did not!"
"I'll bet I could repeat that statement, word for word, under veritaserum," Severus said, ideas beginning to blossom in his mind.
"I'm going to kill you," she said flatly, reaching for her wand. Harry had just taught her this nasty hex…
"Unless you plan on crushing me to death-," he began, but was cut off as she maneuvered her wand into position. As fast as lightning, he knocked her feet back out from under her, catching her wand hand as she fell almost on top of him. He rolled them over and touched his mouth gently to her shocked lips.
To the surprise of both parties, she melted into him and he latched onto her. Like Gruvis Ichor and mermens tears, when heated they combined with seamless perfection. When they separated, breathing harshly, there was a moment of supreme suspicion on both sides before Hermione cast a locking charm and lunged at Severus. Catching her was no hardship, but maneuvering her into his chambers took a great deal of effort.
Two hours later Hermione remembered to floo Ginny's gift to the Potter residence. She returned to the rumpled bed and nudged her greasy-haired lover. "I know you added that piece of Ashwinder shell on purpose, Severus."
"In my defense, I recognized you were trying to create a love potion and was trying to protect myself," he replied languorously.
Hermione stared at him in disbelief. "What?"
"Please, you Gryffindors are so obvious. You wanted me to inhale the fumes and throw myself at you, letting you take advantage of my altered state to divest me of my honor," he declared, with just the right amount of offended dignity.
"That is ridiculous!"
"Severus, you can't honestly believe that."
"Libertine," he added with a smirk.
She scowled at him, before throwing a leg over his stomach to face him properly. His dressing gown rode up nicely on her thighs and the neck gaped invitingly. "If I had wanted to ravish you, I could have had you at any time."
"I do not sell my virtue so cheaply," he replied, spoiling the cool rejoinder by drawing heated patterns over her bare hips.
"I think you knew that potion needed to be in an iron cauldron," Hermione said, gazing suspiciously down into his black eyes. This distracted her nicely from what his hands were doing, so Severus stared her down. "And I think you made one fatal mistake."
"Oh really?" he asked, untying the silk belt of the dressing gown.
"That wasn't a love potion."
Severus' hands froze. "Impossible, no other type of potion would use an amoretia bark and pink rose petal base," he said shrewdly.
"That's why it's experimental," Hermione said smugly as she bent down to press a soft kiss against his neck. "What were you going to do?" she whispered into his ear, "Pretend you were under the influence of the potion tomorrow morning?"
"The plan went something like that, yes," he replied, wondering why she hadn't yet hexed him three ways from Sunday and then run screaming from the room.
"You Slytherins are too complicated; I've been trying to seduce you since day one, but you were too busy scheming to notice," she said, obviously amused by the whole thing.
Severus scowled blackly at her, which would have been more intimidating if his erection hadn't been nudging against her rear end. "?No Gryffindor could ever be subtle enough to escape my notice."
"Exactly. I think I was so blatant that you couldn't see the woods for the trees, if you'll pardon the pun. I wore those low-cut blouses, the high-heels, the pheromone perfume, I actually coifed my hair and put on make-up before brewing!" she pointed out, her eyes laughing gently at the whole situation.
"I fail to see anything amusing about this situation," he said sullenly.
"I'm not surprised…"
There was a long pause, during which Severus sulked and Hermione wondered whether this was such a good idea. The whole situation was becoming uncomfortable and she would have to work with this man in the future. Maybe it hadn't been one of her better decisions, sleeping with him. She thought about long fingers sweeping up her thighs, ghostly kisses feathering over her stomach, and soft strands of hair sweeping against her face as they moved against each other.
"What are you doing!?!"
"Sexually assaulting you," Hermione replied calmly.