Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
First posted Fan Fiction, ever. The idea came to me of how awkward it would be if Esme were to ask Edward a certain question regarding his 'preference'.
As a mother, figuratively, of course, I do have certain… privileges that enable me to be able to ask my children anything, anywhere, right? And my children are presented with the same privileges? At least, in my book.
I took a deep breath. Why am I doing this? I questioned myself repeatedly, as I slowly ascended the curved, mahogany steps of my lovely grand staircase. My hand brushed along the intricately carved patterns of the elegant banister. My light footfalls seemed louder, especially in my currently vacated home.
Well, except for one individual. My first son, Edward, was lounging quietly in the lonesome area of my house he called his room. There was little originality to the décor of Edward's room; only piles of disarrayed CDs and a simple leather couch plopped disorderedly in the center of the mess. The inner home designer in me told me I should consider getting Edward some shelves for his CDs; his collection grew at least once a week, and at this rate, the whole floor would collapse from the weight!
I reached the second floor of my home.
Going slowly, even for a vampire, I cautiously approached the door at the end of the desolate hallway. A soft, catchy beat could now be heard. Ah, Edward. His life revolved around little more than his music these days…
And that was one of the reasons I needed to speak with him this day. I loved all of my children dearly, but Edward held a special place in my heart, being the first one to truly begin filling up the hole that my first, human child had left in me, after dying so suddenly…
And, because I loved Edward so much, I needed him to be happy. To live this life to its fullest, to fill it with the love and joy and sorrow that was after all, only natural…
And yet, Edward felt none of that love. Or joy. Or even sadness, for goodness sakes!
He was always wrapped up in his music, reveling in aloneness and never truly being part of the family. Of course, he was part of the family. He was loved and included by all, and the feelings were returned in his favor. But still, every other person in my family had found their significant other; their other half, if you will. Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, and Carlisle and I…
Edward was the odd man out, the lone wolf, the outcast. I hated that idea, the idea of my dear Edward, surrounded by happy couples and yet being completely alone, in a sense. I didn't believe he was complete in himself, as he had told me so many times before when this very subject had come into discussion. He seemed meant for this lonely fate, this dark out look on our never ending lives, all alone…
Even in our time in Alaska, Edward made no attempt to even try to get himself a mate! The advances of Kate, Tanya, and Irina, especially Tanya; ignored! Blown off! And eventually shunned, in the end, when Edward had finally snapped from the "not entirely appropriate" attention he had been attracting from the girls. It was unnerving to watch him, a handsome, young man, rejecting perfectly fine and strikingly beautiful girls without even a second glance.
And today, I wanted to know the real reason why.
I stopped at his door with bated breath. I heard the light click of the stereo's remote's buttons being pushed. The music stopped.
As casually as I could manage, I thought, Edward? May I speak with you?
"Of course." His monotone of a voice drawled quietly from behind the door. In his tone, I detected a light curiosity for what I would want to speak about, but mostly, Edward's voice seemed simply bored.
I turned the brass doorknob and softly entered his room, careful not to misplace any CDs from their disorganized stacks. Shelves are a definite yes…
I heard him chuckle, and I looked up to meet his mildly interested gaze from the couch. He patted the seat next to him, and I quickly made my way through the sea of music to sit where he gestured.
"What might be on your mind today?" He asked curiously once I'd sat down. Ah, that boy can never wait for anything. Sometimes, I think his power is amplifying his arrogance.
Oh, just a little something that's been bothering me for a while now… I peeked up at him from my bowed head, taking his dubious expression. I continued, Edward. I want to discuss you, and your plans for the future. I have worried endlessly on the subject.
He froze, but gallantly covered his discomfort with a courteous response, "Esme, please. Have we not discussed this already? I am happy. I am content. I could wish for nothing more." I sighed. His tone sounded sad and unconvincing, even to me.
Yes, I am aware we have already discussed that. But lately I've been worried over a different matter…
"Yes?" Edward's patience was unwavering.
Um… How should I put this…I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, feeling foolish. If I were not already dead, I probably would have died in embarrassment! I - I wish to know your true preference! I finally blurted out in my head after a tense moment. I hung my head in chagrin, too mortified to look up and see what his face looked like.
He was silent, taking in my inquiry. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke in a trembling voice, "E-excuse me?"
"I need to know Edward!" I cried out impatiently, "As your mother I need to know what you look for in a person. We will support you in any path you take, Edward, but I need to know!"
He looked scared, to my slight surprise. Cool, collected Edward, was hypothetically cowering at my feet. I never thought I'd see the day when that happened. His eyes widened, but he finally composed himself from my question's grand entrance to speak.
"Esme, I apologize if you have misinterpreted my…preferences. The right girl hasn't come along yet; I highly doubt she ever will. But I assure you, I am not gay."
I had to laugh at that. Partly in relief, for I could see the evident truthfulness behind his words in his voice. And partly be cause it was just so dang funny to hear Edward's formal and endlessly lilting tone wrapped around the word gay. The world's wonders will never cease.
"Of course, Edward. I must also apologize." He nodded, averting his eyes, but the faint beginnings of his rarely-seen smile tugged at his features. I took that awkward moment to excuse myself. At least my suspicions were put to rest.
Once I was safely back downstairs, the music came on again. I could hear it, a soft, jazz number with a saxophone solo weaving intricately through the frenzied melody. Near the coda, the tempo decreased, and a lone, melancholy harmonic pierced the silence. It was sad, but left a small note of hope, floating through the desolation that was my son's life.
I bit back a tearless sob.
So, what do you think? Any advice? Suggestions? I'm new to fan fiction so any help is appreciated. Even if you don't want to comment on my story, please inform me on things like, what do things like AU and OOC stand for? I need to know!