Not. Mine.

Dedicated to Mallorie

who gave me some ideas forever ago.

And Sparkles who made it really difficult to write due to her constantly sitting her furry

butt on my papers.

" Alice? "

My voice was confused, slightly wary, and just a smidgen frightened. Alice's eyes widened a fraction before she threw her hands behind her back in an obvious attempt to hide whatever it was she was holding.

Alice's smile was brighter than a thousand watt light bulb as she gave me her most innocent look.

" Bella, how good to see you! Is that a new sweater? I love it, it's just your shade! " She looked me up and down as if appreciating the view I made.

" This sweater? " I asked, poking myself in the stomach. " You hate this sweater, you told me I needed to burn it. " And I would have burnt it too, if it hadn't been for the fact that the neon orange and pink garment was the warmest thing I owned. I needed all the warmth I could get since it was the middle of December and I could see my breath even when I was inside.

" Yes, yes of course." Alice shook her head a little bit. " It's been a long day Bella, darling. I think I'll just slip upstairs for a smidgen, listen to some calming music."

I was feeling flabbergasted, why was Alice acting so odd? And what is it she's hiding behind her back?

Alice started moving away, her back still facing me. Her escape was thwarted however by Edwards horrified voice.

" Alice, are you out of your MIND? " He was staring at her in shock.

" Don't tell Jasper yet! " She shrieked, and I stared between my boyfriend and my best friend as Alice took on a look of pleading, and Edward a look of frustrated humor.

" I need to tell him, I can convince him to let me keep him. It's no big deal, lots of people have pets! " Alice spoke so fast I had a hard time keeping up with what she was saying.

Pets? What was she talking about?

A low noise made everything abundantly clear a moment later.

" Mrowwwowoo--- " It was the lowest, most garbled version of a meow I had ever heard. It sounded a bit like rocks and glass being crushed under a car, actually.

" You got a cat? " i asked laughing. I was picturing a fluffy white kitten with a pink bow around its neck, despite the noise it made earlier.

Edward was just looking at us with that amused expression, but Alice grinned happily at me.

" Yep! " And out from behind her back she pulled out---

---the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

It was the color of mud and burnt rubber. It's fur looked greasy to the touch, and its ears were tattered and scratched, with a short tail that was bald on top and half its whiskers seemed to be burnt off on the left side. What caught my attention though, where the eyes.

They were huge, cross-eyed, and unblinkingly orange.

Alice took my perplexed silence as wonder at her new pets beauty.

" Isn't he gorgeous? I found him in, you'll never believe it, a dumpster! He didn't have anyone taking care of him! Can you imagine anyone not wanting the little guy? And he's such a sweetie! "

She dragged the furred beast to her in a cuddle, and the cat let loose a choking noise that sounded not unlike something a dying Donald Duck would make. One paw scrabbled fruitlessly at Alice's rock hard arms in an effort to maim.

Alice smiled again. " It was just so cold outside, and poor little Muppet just needs someone to take care of him, why not me? "

" Oh no... " Breathed Edward. "She's already named it. "

" Jasper's going to let me keep him, I've already seen it, but I need to be the one to talk to him. So don't you dare say anything Edward Cullen! Everyone is going to love Muppet, I can tell. "

Hugging a struggling Muppet closer to her icy body, Alice made her way merrily toward the Cullen home, whispering about what suspiciously sounded like " a plate full of warm sardines " to her new baby.

Edward shook his head ruefully. " There will be no reasoning with her, we'll be stuck with that damn cat until it dies. She better stop thinking about it sleeping on MY couch though. "

Taking my hand in his, we made our up to the house which we would reach just in time to see Esme and Rosalie's reactions to the new member of the Cullen family.

Just a little idea thats been buzzing around in my brain. Please Review.