You will always remember…

…your first toy, your first friend, your first birthday party, your first day of school, your first kiss, your first date, your first time, your first fight, your first break up.

--

Memories- Chapter 1

I still remember all these kind of things; I know it is cheesy, I don't like to rewind memories, but from time to time I do it. I do it without wanting it, but lying alone in bed my brain insists on bringing them back and forces me to remember. I have to admit that it is not such a bad thing; I have a damn intelligent brain which knows how to refresh me, because all these are great memories.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I remember that evening. I was 16 and she was 15.

I had my first official girlfriend when I was 7, Laura; a tiny blonde girl, very skinny and the most unclear eye color I have ever seen; some kind of mixture between gray and green. With her I exercised the tongue kiss for the first time. It was cool. I've been a fan of kisses ever since.

But when I was 14 I met Meredith. She was my first long term girlfriend. 2 years… this is my personal record of stability into a relationship. She was bossy enough to keep me with her and to make me lose the bet. I was supposed to lose my virginity at 14, but Trevor got 100 richer than me after our bet; plus, my reputation was ruined. But she was Meredith and I didn't regret the waiting.

We had spent the entire evening together. Meredith was very depressed, because the following day she had to move from Boston with her mother. We were in her bedroom and she was home alone.

This idea got her and no matter how much I wanted her, I knew she wasn't ready.

"Yes, I am sure, now shut up and kiss me!" She answered.

I remember that night as if it was last night, but it happened a long time ago. It was our first night of love and the last night for us as couple and friends. She sat down on the edge of her bed and wrapped her arms around my waist. She had decided … that was the right time.

I got her face in my hands and I kissed her; I kissed her softly, exactly how her lips should have been kissed. I pushed myself back and I looked into her now red and puffy eyes.

"Are you sure you are ready for this?" I asked her again fearfully. I really wanted her to confirm it again. I don't think I could have taken a turn from that. She was good kisser and her embrace and giggles, her touches, her everything had this strange effect over my body and brain.

"Yes Mark, I am." I remember that. She had whispered against my lips. "If this is our last night together then I want you to be my first man. I want to keep this as the last memory of us."

I sat down next to her holding her head with my hands. Maybe you would like some details, well… it's sad to admit it, but I don't really remember details. All that I remember was her soft and warm body in my arms, her smell and her taste. I do remember what she asked me when I had to remove the bra.

"Do you think you can handle it by yourself with those?" she teased me laughing.

"I am a smart guy, I think I can do it" and indeed I did it; I did it surprisingly easy.

It wasn't for the first time I felt her soft breast in my hand, but until then I had done it only through her clothing items. To feel their softness, her hard nipples were million times better and mind blowing.

I don't have details because when I realized what was going to happen next, my brain went in daze and everything felt like… it was floating.

"Oh Mark… I love you babe" She continued to turn me on insanely as she moaned louder.

"I love you too Mer!" I could have told her that all the time, but her body asked permanently for my lips and I just could not resist not to taste as much as possible from her sweetness.

I remember when we got to the condom par. Oh God… The practice really kills the theory! I didn't feel that smart in that moment and Meredith continued to teas me, but we managed to handle the problem together.

I remember I was nervous after that. I knew what I was supposed to do, but I wasn't very sure how. Somehow I did it. Don't ask me how, because I can't remember; but I remember perfectly her warmth and her wetness. To feel myself inside of her was something unique. It was unique then being for the first time. I let my brain take the control over my movements and everything felt amazing.

"This is so good, faster Mark!" her trembling voice kept moaning sweetly in my ears.

We got to a point when I exploded. Everything inside of me exploded.

By the end our bodies were shaking and sweaty. I leaned over her body, both of us trying to catch our breath.

Those hours were ours; our love hours filled with kisses and declarations. I could have lay there with her forever, but there wasn't any forever for us; we had …just hours.

I remember the last kiss, the last hug, the last smile, the last "I love you" we shared at the end of those hours. I left her bedroom and her. No woman ever made me cry but her.

Why did that night returned to me? To make me see what a jerk I've become. It is a memory of what I used to be. I used to love once upon a time and now I mock it and don't believe in it anymore. I was apt for love once, so I believe that I still am.

I miss a girl like Meredith now that I am sitting alone in this quiet hotel room, in this rainy city. I hate the rain, but… I screwed it bad this time… and I need my friends back.